Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Wrestlewar 1990 was supposed to be Sting's night. It was supposed to be the night WCW's hottest babyface went toe-to-toe with the company's biggest heel and long-time champion Nature Boy Ric Flair and finally claimed his place at the top of the mountain.
Indeed, the current AEW star had been on a roll, getting more over with audiences as each week went by and gathering momentum to such an intense degree that a world title victory over The Dirtiest Player in the Game seemed inevitable.
Then, disaster struck.
Just a few weeks earlier, Sting had blown his knee at Clash of Champions, forcing him out of action for the majority of the year.
In his place stepped US Champion Lex Luger for what promised to be another great match between the two.
Would Luger be able to do what his friend seemed so destined to do and topple Flair, or would The Nature Boy continue his reign at the top of the card?
Let's head down to Greensboro to find out.
We started tonight’s show with the same “Rapper” who voiced the Wrestlewar ‘90 ad back at Clash of the Champions 10.
It’s amazing that The Dynamic Dudes were still kicking around, especially after that shambolic performance against the aforementioned Skyscrapers back at The Great American Bash 1989.
Jim Ross really didn’t like Cactus Jack Manson and spent almost the entire match calling him a dumb ass rather than calling the actual action.
This may not have been a fresh match but it certainly didn’t seem dated.
Chicago Street Fight
With Dan Spivey on the outs with the company, Teddy Long had replaced him with a guy who looked like The Brooklyn Brawler wearing a Kendo Nagasaki mask.
National Wrestling Alliance United States Tag Team Championship
This started off as a fine tag team match with a lot of energy and some solid back-and-forth action.
National Wrestling Alliance World Tag Team Championship
Rick Steiner carried a handwritten sign which said ‘STING’S REVENGE’ on it, but the Stinger had hurt himself getting down from the cage at Clash of the Champions, so I’m not sure who they were getting revenge against.
Out in the back, it was time for our competitors in tonight’s main event to give us their final comments.
National Wrestling Alliance World Heavyweight Championship
Prior to the bell, Sting hobbled to the ring on crutches and waved to the fans.
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Hey Homeboy, Gather Round
As shots of various wrestlers popped up on the screen, the rapper got busy spittin’ lyrics about tonight’s show.
The “hey, homeboy” line above wasn’t me making fun, that’s genuinely how it started.
It was pretty funky, fresh, and fly.
...ok, that was me making fun.
Anyway, we crossed live into the arena where Jim Ross and co-host Terry Funk ran down tonight’s key matches.
“It’s going to be an event!” Said Funk, stating the obvious.
Dancing Teddy Long
Cutting to the back, Gordon Sollie was standing by with a man he referred to as “Dancing Teddy Long.”
Long, however, insisted that he was actually Sugar Ray Long and would use his boxing prowess to beat up Paul Ellering later in the show.
Dancing Teddy also told us that “Daniel Dan Spivey” (Long’s actual words, not a typo) was injured and would be replaced by a mystery man for the upcoming Skyscrapers match.
That was pretty much the end of that team.
Kevin Sullivan & Buzz Sawyer vs. The Dynamic Dudes (Johnny Ace & Shane Douglas)
To be fair to Johnny Ace & Shane Douglas, they’d ditched the goofy skateboards that they clearly couldn’t ride and had stopped plucking unhappy kids out of the crowd, probably after realizing that no child wanted their photo taken with them.
Instead, the boys from the City of Sunshine marched headlong to the ring and engaged in what was actually a decent enough opening contest with Kevin Sullivan and Buzz Sawyer.
It wasn’t the longest match in the world, or the most exciting, but all four men were competent in what they were doing and delivered a passable match that saw Johnny and Shane lose to the more experienced team.
Your Winners: Kevin Sullivan & Buzz Sawyer
Backstage, Norman the Lunatic tried his luck with Missy Hyatt, getting a hug and a peck on the cheek for luck and then asking for another kiss before Missy “heard the bell” ringing, meaning it was time for the next match.
This wasn’t much of anything, though I did start to wonder how far Norman would have pushed... "Well gee, Missy, I bet if you had sex with me I’d have some real good luck!
Cactus Jack Manson vs. Norman the Lunatic
In JR’s defence, there wasn’t much action to call.
It was basically ramming each other’s heads into the turnbuckles and guard rail, do a bear hug, do a chin lock, do another chin lock and probably punch a bit.
This went on for almost ten minutes and was so mind-numbing that tedious that I had to stop watching Wrestlewar 90 altogether and come back to it another day.
Norman won somehow. Probably by making Cactus so bored he fell asleep and was thus easily pinned.
Your Winner: Norman the Lunatic
Backstage, Jim Cornette reminded (and all Gordon Sollieof us) that The Midnight Express and The Rock & Roll Express had fought each other countless times in the past but also promised that this time would definitely the end to their feud.
It was compelling stuff by Cornette who was always much better suited as a heel than the babyface he’d been the last time we saw him managing the Midnights back at the '89 Bash.
The Rock & Roll Express (Ricky Morton & Robert Gibson) vs. The Midnight Express (Beautiful Bobby Eaton & Sweet Stan Lane w/ Jim Cornette)
In fact, I’d go so far as to say that it’s for exactly this type of match that the duos of Beautiful Bobby & Sweet Stan and Ricky Morton & Robert Gibson are regarded as some of the best teams in the history of pro wrestling.
This was a long, long match which at times felt like it was never going to end but which at others was utterly enthralling.
Part 1 gave us a solid back and forth match with some memorable moments including Cornette challenging Nick Patrick to a bout of fisticuffs and Morton breaking out of a test of strength by inexplicably walking up Eaton’s body and over his shoulders.
Honestly, I’ve seen hundreds of PPVs and countless pro wrestling TV shows since I first started watching wrestling in 1992 and I don’t think I’ve seen that move before or since.
Part 2 then us the obligatory Morton beat down followed by the standard Gibson hot tag and a cluttered finish in which Gibson turned a back body drop into a roll up for the three.
Your Winners: The Rock & Roll Express
Out in the back, Hawk and Animal pointed out their Sting armbands that they wore in support of their Brother in Paint and insisted that even though they were wearing the armbands to help them, they didn’t actually need any help in their upcoming Chicago Street Fight.
Hawk then shouted something about hospitals and Paul Ellering going to Hong Kong, all of which loosely translated to: “we are very strong and angry and are going to beat up our opponent.”
Chicago Street Fight
The Skyscrapers (Mean Mark Callous & The Masked Skyscraper w/ Teddy Long) vs. The Road Warriors (Hawk & Animal w/ Precious Paul Ellering)
With Dan Spivey on the outs with the company, Teddy Long had replaced him with a guy who looked like The Brooklyn Brawler wearing a Kendo Nagasaki mask.
Long might have announced the guy’s name because he took to the microphone as soon as his men hit the ring but he was immediately drowned out by the sounds of Iron Man and The Road Warriors riding pillion on two guys’ motorbikes...because nothing says tough guy like having someone else bring you to the ring on the back of their bike.
Anyway, I looked it up. The Masked Skyscraper was Mike Enos.
He and Mean Mark went up against Hawk & Animal in a match that was 80% punching, 15% kicking, and 5% Teddy Long hanging around outside the ring with the tuxedo-clad team of Doom.
It wasn’t very interesting.
It also wasn’t much of a street fight. Both teams spent the majority of the match in the ring and then went outside for what must have been the last 30 seconds.
Eventually, Mean Mark said ‘screw it’ and walked off, leaving his anonymous partner to eat the match-ending Doomsday Device.
Your Winners: The Road Warriors
Afterwards, Ron Simmons and Butch Reed confronted The Roadies and got into a brawl with them that was way more exciting than the previous match.
Ross and Dunk then got us hyped for the fact the rest of the card was full of title matches, and with that it was back to ringside.
National Wrestling Alliance United States Tag Team Championship
NWA US Tag Team Champions Flyin’ Brian & The Z-Man vs. The Fabulous Freebirds (Michael ‘P.S’ Hayes & Jimmy ‘Jam’ Garvin)
Then The Z-Man spent about two months getting his ass kicked and it all got very boring. Michael Hayes and Jimmy Garvin did as little as possible for as long as possible to wear their opponent down, sucking the life out of the entire arena.
All the while, Jim Ross tried to convince us that Michael Hayes looked like Alice Cooper just because he’d decided to put a little eye makeup on.
Yeah, sorry Jim, I’m not buying it.
Eventually, Flyin’ Brian made the hot tag, and after a bit of sloppy-arsed nothingness in the ring, came flying off the top onto Jimmy Jam for the un, dos, tres.
Your Winners and Still US Tag Team Champions: Flyin’ Brian & The Z-Man
Afterwards, Alice Cooper and his buddy beat up on the champs.
National Wrestling Alliance World Tag Team Championship
NWA World Tag Team Champions The Steiner Brothers (Rick Steiner & Scott Steiner) vs. NWA TV Champion Arn Anderson & Ole Anderson
The cage perhaps?
For the record, this was the first time we’d seen Ole & Arn Anderson tagging together at a major event since Starrace 1986.
That aside, this was a good match with none of the lengthy beat-down sessions that plagued the last match.
It was solid, enjoyable, and came to an end with a win for The Steiners.
Sadly, JR had stopped trying to make us believe that wrestlers looked like various rock stars. I was quite looking forward to hearing how much Ole Anderson reminded him of Sebastian Bach.
Your Winners and Still Tag Team Champions: The Steiner Brothers
Post match, The Minnesota Wrecking Crew tried to beak Scott Steiner’s arm by having Ole leap off the top and hit it with his knee.
The Time for Talking is Over, So Let’s Talk About That
Luger cut a sombre promo in which he vowed that being in the best shape of his life was bad for Ric Flair, and that he was tired of The Nature Boy telling him how to do his business.
As promos go, this one was OK, but let’s be honest:
Luger was always way, way better as a heel.
Offering a retort, the World heavyweight champion boasted that he feared no man and then asked his new accomplice, Woman, what she thought about The Total Package.
“Well, I think Lex Luger needs to get his engine running,” she said.
Flair claimed that this line said it all, but really it said nothing. What does that even mean?
National Wrestling Alliance World Heavyweight Championship
NWA World Heavyweight Champion Ric Flair (w/ Woman) vs. NWA US Champion Lex Luger
This proved to be the best match on the card by a billion miles.
A solid effort from start to finish, both men worked hard to ensure the match delivered everything you could want from Flair and Luger.
Was it as good as their outing at Great American Bash 1988?
Possibly.
Luger was strong, powerful and determined, but Flair was crafty, cunning, and violent.
At one point, he had his opponent in a figure four and used the ropes for leverage so much that it promoted Sting to hobble back to ringside and cheer on the challenger.
Once Luger had broken free, the injured Sting gave him a motivating slap in the face and yelled “KICK HIS YOU KNOW WHAT!”
Yeah Sting, that’ll do it.
Luger did indeed kick Flair’s you-know-what. First, he nailed him with what JR called a “Lex Superplex” (surely a Superp-Lex would have worked?) and then put him in a torture rack, but Nick Patrick had taken a tumble and was busy napping in the corner, so none of it mattered.
In the end, The Anderson’s came out and first attacked Luger then went for Sting. The Total Package lept from the ring to save Stinger but spent so much time kicking Ole & Arn’s you-know-what that he got counted out.
Your Winner via countout and Still World Heavyweight Champion: Ric Flair
When the dust had settled and the smoke had cleared, “Jimbo Diddley” Ross and “Tuxedo Terry” thanked us for watching and invited us to join us at the next PPV, “Armed and Dangerous.”
That, of course, would later be changed to Capital Combat.
Wrestle War ‘90 was not a tremendous show.
The main event was excellent and worth watching in its own right, and the latest saga in the never-ending battle of the Expresses was very good stuff indeed.
Steiners/Andersons was also decent, but I think that’s just because it was a welcome change of pace after several boring matches.
That’s about all of this show had going for it.
There were only two singles matches, and one of them involved Norman the f’n Lunatic, so the less said about that the better.
The rest were tag team matches that were either too full of nothing (Skyscrapers/LOD, Dudes/Sullivan & Sawyer) or went far too long with far too little happening (Z-Man & Pillman vs. Alice Cooper & Co.).
Not a must see show then, but look up the main event, it was good stuff.
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1 Comments
What's the difference between the tag belts and the U.S. tag belts? Are the tag belts just for illegal aliens working a reduced pay?
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