Mega Powers Running Wild!

The legendary 'Macho man' Randy Savage teams up with 'The Immortal' Hulk Hogan to take on Ted Dibiase and Andre The Giant in the first ever WWF Summerslam!

Shawn Micahels vs. Mankind

The Heartbreak Kid defends the WWF Championship against Mankind in a thrilling main event at WWF In Your House: Mind Games.

The Birth of the nWo

From Hulk Hogan's shocking turn at WCW Bash at the Beach 1996 to the addition of Ted Dibiase, THe Giant Syxx and more, relive the very beginning of the New World Order.

Austin 3:16 Says I Just Kicked Your Ass

It's one of the most famous promos of all time; Stone Cold Steve Austin wins the 1996 King of The Ring and serves notice on all the WWF superstars. Check it out in our complete review

Wrestlemania 12 Review

The boyhood dream comes true as Shawn Michaels battles champion Bret 'The Hitman' Hart in a classic 1-hour iron man match. Plus, Diesel vs. Undertaker and more.

WCW Fall Brawl 1996 Review

Was Sting in cahoots with the New World Order? Would Lex Luger be able to get along with the Four Horsemen as they faced the nWo in War Games? Find out in this review

Showing posts with label Kat. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kat. Show all posts

Thursday, 26 December 2019

PPV Review: WWF Wrestlemania 2000

WWE / WWF Wrestlemania 2000 - Event poster
April 2, 2000
Arrowhead Pond of Anaheim, Anaheim, California.

One of the main reasons why WWE's current product lacks appeal is that very little seems to change from one year to the next.

For the past few years, you could pretty much bank on there being some form of universal title match featuring Brock Lesnar, on seeing Roman Reigns in a prominent position and on having an undercard full of guys who would enjoy zero career development from one year to the next.

Yet back in the 1990s and early 2000s, things were very different.

Consider the fact that, at Wrestlemania 14, Triple H was wrestling Owen Hart for the European title. At Wrestlemania 15, he was turning heel so that he could begin his ascent to the top of the mountain and here, at Wrestlemania 2000, he was heading into the show as our WWF Champion.

Meanwhile, Stone Cold Steve Austin had headlined the last two Wrestlemanias but was out of action due to an injury, and a whole bunch of wrestlers who weren't even with the World Wrestling Federation back at Wrestlemania 15 were now booked in high profile matches.






Yes, it's fair to say that things moved much, much quicker back in the day and, if you ask this long-time fan, they were much more exciting because of it.

On that note, let's head to California for Wrestlemania 16.

Lilian Sings the National Anthem

WWE / WWF Wrestlemania 2000 - Lillian Garcia sang the American national anthem
After a brief shot showed us the outside of the arena on a bright and sunny Californian evening, Howard Finkle introduced us to the WWF's own Lilian Garcia.

Microphone in hand, Lilian got the show underway by singing a stirring rendition of the American National Anthem.

For those of you still having nightmares of the time Rockin' Robin tried to sing it back at Wrestlemania V, let me assure you, this was nothing like that.

Garcia belted out a truly stunning rendition in what was easily the best singing performance ever seen on a pro wrestling show. The crowd, quite rightly, loved it.

Her performance was followed by the obligatory opening video which quickly looked back at the 15 preceding Wrestlemanias before telling us all about tonight's main event - a fatal-four-way elimination match in which Triple H would defend his WWF title against The Rock, The Big Show, andMick Foley  .

Pimpin' Ain't Easy, B*tches

WWE / WWF Wrestlemania 2000 - Ice T performed The Godfather's theme from WWF Aggression album
Next, Finkle introduced us to rapper Ice T.

Having performed a remixed version of the Godfather's theme on the recent WWF Aggression album, T accompanied Godfather and a pimped-up D'Lo Brown to the ring, all while performing that theme and taking any opportunity he could to yell "B*TCHES!" at the top of his lungs.

It was an interesting performance, and one that was finished off by Godfather taking to the mic to do his own 'Pimpin' Ain't Easy' speech without uttering The B-Word.

The Godfather & D'Lo Brown (w/ The Hos) vs. The Big Boss Man & Bull Buchanan

It was only a few weeks ago, at No Way Out 2000, that The Big Boss Man had been paired up with Prince Albert. Now, apparently, Albert was out of the picture and newcomer Bull Buchanan was in.

Buchanan (formerly Recon of The Truth Commission) looked impressive here as he and Boss Man isolated D'Lo from his partner and took control of what proved to be a decent yet unspectacular match.

Despite mounting a comeback in the dying moments, D'Lo and Godfather were bested by Boss Man and Buchanan in the first Wrestlemania match of the new millennium.
Your Winners: The Big Boss Man & Bull Buchanan

Post-match, Boss Man and Buchanan chased off The Godfather's hos.

The McMahon-Helmsley Era is in Charge

WWE / WWF Wrestlemania 2000 - Ice T performed The Godfather's theme from WWF Aggression album
Backstage, WWF Champion Triple H and his wife, WWF Women's Champion Stephanie McMahon were seen enjoying some cuddle time with their respective title belts.

Hunter boasted about how good it was that The McMahon-Helmsley Era were in control of Wrestlemania tonight, leading Jim Ross to question whether The Game should have really been so relaxed considering what was at stake.

The Rules of Hardcore

From there, Ross and Lawler took us back to that night's episode of Sunday Night Heat. On that show, we saw wrestlers such as Hardcore Holly, Bradshaw, Taka Michinoku and Tazz gathered together in a room with WWF Hardcore Champion Crash Holly and referees Tim White and Jimmy Korderas.

With Crash standing front and centre, White went over the rules of tonight's hardcore title battle royal. Essentially, this was a pre-cursor to the Championship Scramble matches. There would be a 15-minute time limit during which the title could change hands many times. The person left holding the title at the end wins the match.

World Wrestling Federation Hardcore Championship Battle Royal~
Featuring WWF Hardcore Champion Crash Holly, Tazz, Viscera, Pete Gas, Joey Abs, Rodney, Hardcore Holly, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Mosh, Thrasher, Farooq, Bradshaw

WWE / WWF Wrestlemania 2000 - Hardcore Holly won a Hardcore Battle Royal
For the first five minutes, this hardcore battle royal looked to be a total washout. All the competitors merely hung around ringside waffling each other with trashcan lids and giant baking trays. It was a cluttered mess that gave no opportunity for anything meaningful to happen.

Even when the title went from Crash to Tazz to Viscera, none of it was very interesting. Then, Big Vis decided to climb to the top rope and The Acolytes through him off in what was genuinely a cool spot. They took out the interim champion and dumped Kai En Tai on top of him. A three count later, and Sho Funaki was the man to beat.

He ran backstage with the championship with only a few men giving chase. From there, things picked up slightly with highlights including:
  • Pete Gas bleeding like a stuck pig
  • Thrasher blindsiding interim champion Joey Abs by slamming a cart into his ribs
  • And erm, OK, that's it.
Towards the finish, Tazz won the title again but forgot how the rules worked so kept trying to pin people even though doing so wouldn't benefit him in any way.

It was confusing, but not as confusing as the finish.

Tazz dropped the title to Crash Holly but then slapped him in the Tazmission as the clock ran down. In the final few seconds, Bob Holly hit the ring, blasted Tazz with something and pinned his cousin Crash. Clearly, the idea was that Holly would make the cover and the time would run out just before Tim White could count to three, but somebody's timing was slightly off.

White didn't count to three even though he had time to and Crash didn't kick out. Then the bell rang and despite Crash walking away with the belt, his cousin Bob was declared the winner.
Your Winner and NEW WWF Hardcore Champion: Hardcore Holly

Even Howard Finkle seemed confused and reluctant to declare Hardcore the winner.

Man, that was not a good match.

Head Cheese in the Bathroom

WWE / WWF Wrestlemania 2000 - Al Snow and Steve Blackman in the mens toilets
After a look back at the weekend's Axxess fan convention, we went to a bathroom where Al Snow was seen talking to some unknown person hidden in a toilet cubical.

At that point, Snow's tag team partner, Steve Blackman arrived on the scene and warned him not to try anything stupid because this was, after all, Wrestlemania.

From there, we cut to an extreme close-up of Trish Stratus' boobs as she led her men, Test and Albert, through the arena.

Those two teams would meet next.

Steve Blackman & Al Snow vs. T&A (Test & Albert w/ Trish Stratus)

WWE / WWF Wrestlemania 2000 - Trish Stratus made her Wrestlemania debut managing T&A
Before the bell, Al Snow kept up his attempts to get him and Blackman over as a team by introducing their new mascot, Chester McCheese..or something like that. Basically, it was a little guy dressed up like an actual block of cheese.

If you think that was bad, you should have seen the actual match.

I kid you not, this was one of the dirt worst things you've ever seen. I don't just mean it was bad by Wrestlemania standards, I mean it was so bad that even WCW wouldn't have allowed it on their shows.

It just seemed like the two teams had no chemistry together nor any plan of what they were actually trying to do. At various points, guys just kind of stood around looking at each other as if to say "what the heck are we doing?"

I mean, it was so bad, Jim Ross spent most of the match talking about how terrible it was.

Eventually, T&A won and put us all out of our misery.
Your Winners: T&A

Post-match, Snow and Blackman took out their frustrations by beating up on the guy in the cheese costume.

The Kat is Naked

Out in the back, The Kat was shown getting ready for whatever it was she was doing tonight, all while talking to her buddy, Mae Young. The twist here was that she was completely naked, but strategically placed objects, camera angles and movements prevented us from seeing any bum, boobs, or erm, you know...

Thou Shalt Not F*** With The Dudleys

WWE / WWF Wrestlemania 2000 - Michael Cole interviewed The Dudleys
Meanwhile, Michael Cole was standing by for an interview with The Dudley Boys. Addressing their upcoming three-way ladder match with Edge, Christian, and The Hardys, D-Von Dudley claimed that he didn't like ladders. In fact, he was even scared of heights, but that wasn't going to stop he and his partner from making history in tonight's match.

D-Von then invited Bubba Ray to testify, and testify he did with gusto. Speaking with a certain sense of passion, Bubba vowed that tonight, the two would take violence to a whole new level because thou shalt not F- with The Dudley Boys.

World Wrestling Federation Tag Team Championship Three-Way Ladder Match
WWF Tag Team Champions The Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray & D-Von Dudley) vs. Edge & Christian vs. The Hardy Boyz (Matt & Jeff Hardy)

WWE / WWF Wrestlemania 2000 - Bubba Ray Dudley with a ladder
There's no other way to say this:

This match was incredible.

It was creative, it was chaotic, it was brutal and it was brilliant.

All six men worked hard to deliver an absolute masterpiece, destroying each other -and a whole bunch of furniture- in the process.

The match was packed with big, jaw-dropping spots that had you convinced it would all soon be over, but then a wrestler or two would get pushed off the ladder or hit with another's finishing move and the drama would continue.

What made it all the more captivating was Jim Ross' announcing. Every call was full of passion and emotion and it made the match itself feel like an epic.

Finally, after the better part of half an hour, everybody died except for Edge and Christian, who scaled a makeshift platform comprised of a table set atop two ladders and grabbed their first of many tag team titles.
Your Winners an NEW WWF Tag Team Champions: Edge & Christian

Backstage, Kevin Kelly stood by with Linda McMahon and Mick Foley. If you recall, Foley had lost a retirement match only a few weeks ago at No Way Out 2000, but Linda McMahon had brought him back so that he could face The Rock, Triple H and Big Show in a main event that was being sold more on the fact that it featured 'a McMahon in every corner' rather than on the action itself.

Anyway, Mrs Personality Linda McMahon insisted that she was happy for Mick, who responded with a decent promo in which he promised that fairytales would come true for him tonight.

This wasn't Foley's finest hour on the mic, but as one of the best ever, even his worst was still pretty good.

Cat Fight
Terri (w/ The Fabulous Moolah) vs. The Kat (w/ Mae Young)

WWE / WWF Wrestlemania 2000 - The Kat faced Terri in a cat fight
Special guest referee: Val Venis

Apparently, Moolah and Mae Young had fallen out and were now leading Teri and The Kat into battle against one another in a Cat Fight.

The rules here were simple:

You had to throw your opponent to the outside of the ring.

Anticipating just how bad it was going to be, Jim Ross warned us not to expect any actual wrestling and told us that if were planning to judge this "on a star system" then we shouldn't bother.

Ross was right. This 'match' had no redeeming qualities outside of The Kat wearing an outfit that showed off her bum. The two ladies both tried to get special referee Val Venis on their side by snogging him, then went after one another with basic hair drags and erm, you know, cat fighting.

Speaking of Val Venis, he wore a T-shirt which, on the front, just said: "I'm cocked."

On the back, it said "Locked and ready to unload." The whole thing was written in a font that was clearly meant to be a man's love milk. Please tell me nobody on earth actually bought that.

And if they did, please tell me nobody actually wore it in public.

Back to the match, Kat threw Terri to the outside twice but each time, Venis was distracted by Kat's own corner woman, Mae Young. The first time, Val had to stop her getting her puppies out, and the second time, she was eating his face in the corner of the ring.

Eventually, Terri got Kat out, Val turned around and this one was over.
Your Winner: Terri

Except it wasn't. Afterwards, Kat ripped Terri's pants off while Mae Young set up Fabulous Moolah in the corner for a bronco buster. Yuck.

WWE / WWF Wrestlemania 2000 - The Radicalz backstage Latino Heat

Backstage, Eddie Guerrero was all excited by how much he thought Chyna wanted his 'Latino Heat.' His teammates Perry Saturn and Light Heavyweight Champion Dean Malenko warned him to stay focused on the upcoming match.

Elsewhere in the arena, Chyna and Too Cool had just watched that segment. Chyna thought Eddie was disgusting, but Too Cool warned her not to worry, they'd take care of it in the ring next.

Six-Person Tag Team Match
The Radicalz (WWF Light Heavyweight Champion Dean Malenko, Eddie Guerrero and Perry Saturn) vs. Chyna and Too Cool (Scotty Too Hotty & Grandmaster Sexay)

Though this was a six-person match, it was clear from the outset that it was designed to make just one person -Eddie Guerrero- look like a star.

And if it wasn't designed that way, then it was a happy accident that Guerrero shone brighter than anyone else here and looked legitimately like a top player both in terms of his charismatic personality and his actual wrestling.

The whole story was Guerrero simultaneously flirting with Chyna and yet trying to avoid getting beaten up by her when she chased after him. So, it was a fitting end that -after a short yet very enjoyable contest- The Ninth Wonder of the World finally got her hands on Latino Heat and powerbombed him into oblivion.

So far, the radicals were 0-2 on WWF PPV.
Your Winners: Chyna and Too Cool

WWE / WWF Wrestlemania 2000 - Shane McMahon and The Big Show
Out in the back, Shane McMahon declared that The Big Show's size and strength were the reason he'd be taking home the WWF title tonight. Agreeing with Shane O' Mac, Show swore to unplug The Most Electrifying Man in Sports Entertainment, retire Mick Foley, and declare 'game over' for Triple H.

Sometimes, I wonder if Hunter didn't call himself The Game just so that all of his opponents could use the 'Game Over' line for years to come.

Next, we were shown a video of a contest winner who won a private jet to California and front row tickets to Wrestlemania. After that, we went to the back, where Eurocontinental Champion Kurt Angle was seen trying to persuade a security guard to give him extra security for his post-match celebrations in exchange for a few autographs.

We were also shown a segment from Heat in which Angle put Bob Backlund in a chicken wing as punishment for Backlund encouraging officials to make Angle defend both his titles tonight
.

Angle's match was next.

Triple Threat Two Falls Match for the World Wrestling Federation Intercontinental and European Championships
WWF European and Intercontinental Champion Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit

WWE / WWF Wrestlemania 2000 - Chris Jericho hurts Chris Benoit
The first fall decides the Intercontinental Championship, the second fall decides the European Championship

When you look back at how good Kurt Angle became in his career, you have to imagine that competing in matches like this really helped him develop that main event level talent.

Here, he went up against Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho in a match that was every bit as good as you thought it would be.

After a solid battle, Benoit pinned The Olympic Gold Medalist to capture his first championship in the WWF.
Your Winner and NEW WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Benoit

Yet the match was far from over. Instead, it went on and got better and better with each passing minute.

Towards the end, referee Tim White got knocked out. While White was taking a nap, Jericho tapped to Benoit's crossface but was able to get up and attack when The Crippler went over to demand the referee wake up. Y2J slapped on the Walls of Jericho but got a title belt to the face for his troubles courtesy of Kurt Angle.

That got Angle a two count before Benoit made the save. Shortly after, Jericho took out Benoit to strip Angle of his second title.

Man, that was a lot of fun.
Your Winner and NEW WWF European Champion: Chris Jericho

WWE / WWF Wrestlemania 2000 - Michael Cole interviews Vince McMahon
Out in the back,  Vince McMahon told Michael Cole that despite being in The Rock's corner tonight, The Great One was focussed on winning the WWF Championship with or without McMahon's help. Wrapping up his promo, McMahon did leave us with the ominous warning that he would 'put things right' by the end of the night.

Cutting to another part of the arena, we saw Triple H getting angry at McMahon's warning. No longer the cool, calm and collected champion he had been at the start of the show, The Game promised Stephanie that he would win tonight because he was that damn good then stormed off, leaving his wife all turned on.

D-Generation-X (X-Pac & Road Dogg w/ Torri) vs. Rikishi Phatu & Kane (w/ Paul Bearer)

WWE / WWF Wrestlemania 2000 - X-Pac
I think this may have been the one and only PPV where the former Headshrinker was billed as Rikishi Phatu, but that's mostly by the by.

Here, he teamed up with Kane to help The Big Red Machine settle his score with X-Pac and Torri once and for all. The Road Dogg was along for the ride too, and I'm assuming the lack of Billy Gunn meant that ol' Bad Ass was injured for some reason.

The match itself was exactly what it should have been: Short and fun and ending with Kane finally tombstoning 'Pac to put the whole rivalry to rest once and for all, though not before the predictable stink face to Torri.
Your Winners: Kane and Rikishi

Post-match, Too Cool ran out to dance with Rikishi. The two were followed by a man in a chicken suit who everyone, including Kane and Paul Bearer, believed to be Pete Rose.

The Big Red Machine stood by and allowed the chicken some time to dance with Rikishi and Too Cool, but then grabbed the chicken by the throat and pushed him into the corner.

As if you couldn't have seen this coming from a mile away, Pete Rose then ran out with a baseball bat, revealing that he wasn't in the chicken suit after all.

Not that the swerve did him any good. Kane got hold of him and, for the third Wrestlemania in a row, chokeslammed the baseball star straight to hell.

Rose then got a stinkface for good measure.

Finally, The Rock has Come Back to Wrestlemania

WWE / WWF Wrestlemania 2000 - The Rock shuts up Kevin Kelly
One year after dropping the WWF Championship to Stone Cold Steve Austin at Wrestlemania 15, The Rock had come back to Wrestlemania and told Kevin Kelly that tonight, he was going to lay the smackdown on everybody and take back the championship. Most of all, he was going to do it for the millions...

...and millions of The Rock's fans.

Compelling stuff as always from The People's Champion

By the way, I'm not saying the main event is going to be a long match or anything, but by the time The Rock was done with his promo, there were still 50 minutes remaining on the WWE Network version of this event with only that match to go.

No Disqualification Fatal Four-Way Match for the World Wrestling Federation Championship
WWF Champion Triple H (w/ Stephanie McMahon) vs. Mick Foley (w/ Linda McMahon) vs. The Big Show (w/ Shane McMahon) vs. The Rock (w/ Vince McMahon)

WWE / WWF Wrestlemania 2000 - The Rock, Triple H and Mick Foley
Some lengthy matches are so utterly captivating that they seem to fly by.

This wasn't one of them.

In a sense, it was like watching three-act play, and while all three acts were individually enjoyable, made for an exhausting experience when putting one after the other.

In the first act, Hunter, Rock, and Foley all ganged up on The Big Show for a while before HHH and Foley spilled to the outside for a brawl. Mick got the upper hand, grabbed a chair and waffled Big Show from behind with it. The show stumbled into a Rock Bottom and his time was over in the space of about five minutes.

In the second act, we got a long, weapon-filled three-way between Foley, HHH, and Rock which ended when The Game twice pedigreed Cactus onto a steel chair to send him into retirement for good.

Not wanting his career to end on a down note, Foley returned to the ring and drilled Triple H with a barbwire-covered 2x4 then left the ring for our final act; a one-on-one showdown between long-time rivals Triple H and The Rock.

The two battled around the ring, through the crowd and back again before taking each other out completely in the middle of the ring. While the two combatants took a nap, The McMahons took centre stage. Vince attacked Triple H, but Shane McMahon ran out and smashed his dad in the head with a TV monitor.

It was enough to bust Vince open, but not enough for him to stay down for too long as he got up and took the fight back to Shane O' Mac.

Seizing control, The Chairman hit the ring and turned on The Rock, hitting him twice with a chair. Seizing the advantage, Triple H got the pin to become not only the first heel to win in the Wrestlemania main event but also the first WWF Champion to successfully defend his championship in the Wrestlemania main event since Hulk Hogan beat Andre The Giant at Wrestlemania 3.

Overall, this was a good match, but it did go on for far too long and got really tiring to watch at times.
Your Winner and Still WWF Champion: Triple H

Afterwards, Stephanie McMahon embraced her father. The way it played out, it wasn't as though the two had been in cahoots the whole time, but rather as though Stephanie was pleasantly surprised at her father's change of heart. Shane McMahon came into the ring, but before he and Vince could settle their issue, The Rock returned to the ring and hit all three of them with a Rock Bottom.

"The entire McMahon family has been Rock Bottomed!" yelled Jim Ross as The Great One threw off his elbow pad and drilled Stephanie with a crowd-pleasing People's Elbow.

Finally, The Rock had come back to Wrestlemania, and though he didn't win the title, he was the only man left standing as Wrestlemania 2000 went off the air.





You know, I've read a lot of great things about how the year 2000 was one of the World Wrestling Federation's best from a creative, in-ring standpoint. Yet if all you had to go off was Wrestlemania 2000, you certainly wouldn't believe that to be the case.

While the main event was pretty good and you had some fairly entertaining contests like Radicalz vs. Too Cool & Chyna and the Kishi/Kane vs. DX stuff, a lot of this card wasn't spectacular.

However, there were two matches that do deserve special praise.

Angle/Benoit/Jericho is definitely worth a watch and as for the triple-threat ladder match, that is genuinely one of the best things I've ever seen in all my years writing Retro Pro Wrestling reviews.

If you're a completist looking to watch all of the Wrestlemanias, then you can at least enjoy the knowledge that Wrestlemania 16 is better than many of the others that you'll be watching, but otherwise, I'd recommend you just watch the two matches mentioned above.




For other 2000 pro wrestling reviews see:
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Thursday, 14 November 2019

PPV REVIEW: WWF Royal Rumble 2000

WWE / WWF Royal Rumble 2000 - Event poster
January 23, 2000
Madison Square Garden, New York

It's interesting that while 1999 was among one of the financially successful in the World Wrestling Federation's history, it was also, from a creative standpoint, one of its absolute dirt worst.

We've just covered every WWF and WCW PPV from 1999 here on Retro Pro Wrestling and believe me when I tell you, there were times when shows from both companies were so bad that your reviewer seriously considered abandoning this blog altogether.

Still, here we are.

A new year had dawned in the World Wrestling Federation, and as the company marched headlong into a brand new millennium, there came a new sense of hope that things could get better.

With that in mind, let's head to Madison Square Garden for the Royal Rumble 2000 to see whether they actually did or not.





No remorse

WWE / WWF Royal Rumble 2000 - Jim Ross & Jerry 'The King' Lawler called the action
Our show tonight began with a fantastic promo video for the upcoming Cactus Jack vs. Triple H street fight. Splicing together footage of the two at their most violent and sadistic (including shots of Cactus competing in the IWA King of Death Match 1995 tournament) with a captivating voiceover in which both men talked about how good they were and how much they were going to destroy the other, this was a great way to get you hyped up for the show.

From there, we panned the New York City faithful as Jim Ross and Jerry 'The King' Lawler welcomed us to the show. The iconic Attitude Era duo talked up not only tonight's main event but also the Rumble match itself before sending us down to our opening contest.

Kurt Angle vs. Tazz

WWE / WWF Royal Rumble 2000 - Tazz debuted against Kurt Angle
Heading to the ring first, Kurt Angle took to the microphone and proved why everybody says he was such a natural at pro wrestling by cutting a very entertaining heel promo that really got the crowd fired up.

Angle then made out like the man he'd be facing tonight was supposed to be a surprise by addressing his "unnamed opponent." However, at that moment, the crowd immediately began chanting "We want Tazz!"

Eventually, the former ECW star himself appeared and went to war with Angle in a short, explosive opening bout.

Trading suplexes galore, the two ensured that the WWF's first PPV of the new millennium got underway in terrific fashion with a hugely enjoyable performance that saw Angle pass out to the Tazzmission, suffering his first WWF loss.
Your Winner: Tazz

His job done, the victor simply marched off backstage as Angle sold the devastating effects of the Tazmission by being stretchered off and given an oxygen mask.

It was a brilliant way to get the newcomer over which makes it all the more of a shame that they never really did much with him.

The Hardys are Ready for Action

WWE / WWF Royal Rumble 2000 - Michael Cole interviewed The Hardy Boyz w/ Terri
Out in the back, Michael Cole interviewed Terri Runnels and The Hardy Boyz about Matt & Jeff's upcoming tables match with The Dudley Boyz.

Terri was just telling Cole how they were going to go out and kick ass when Jeff interrupted, letting her know that it was too dangerous for her to be out there.

For his part, Matt told Cole that even though The Dudleys were 'the masters of putting people through tables' (as if it were a specialist skill), he and Jeff were going to win the match or die trying.

Bless 'em, the Hardys really didn't have much charisma here. This whole promo was seriously cringe-worthy, but at least the two would get better over the next two decades.

Tables Match
The Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray & D-Von Dudley) vs. The Hardy Boyz (Matt & Jeff Hardy)

WWE / WWF Royal Rumble 2000 - Jeff Hardy prepares to dive at Madison Square Garden
Having dropped the whole stuttering gimmick, Bubba Ray Dudley joined his brother D-Von Dudley in getting some early heel heat by talking smack about some New York baseball star.

Being British and having no interest in sports outside of pro wrestling, your writer never has any idea what's going on when wrestlers use the local sports team for heat. What I do know, however, is that this the exact same tactic that Kurt Angle used in the first match, making The Dudleyz' tactic a little repetitive.

The match itself, however, was highly original, at least for the time.

Both teams traded some pretty innovative offence, building the match into a captivating stunt-fest in which you had to put both of your opponents through the wood in order to win.

Bubba Ray and Matt Hardy were both planted through tables, after which the match developed to a jaw-dropping finish in which Jeff Hardy hit a Swanton bomb off the balcony crashing through two tables with D-Von sandwiched in between them.

That, my friends, was a really good match.
Your Winners: The Hardy Boyz

Out in the back, a groggy and confused Kurt Angle was seen getting checked over by EMTs. As out of it as he might have been, Angle still had the wherewithal to claim that he was still technically undefeated since Tazz had choked him out.

Miss Rumble 2000 Contest
WWF Women's Champion The Kat vs. Ivory vs. Terri Runnels vs. Jacqueline vs. Barbara Bush vs. Luna Vachon vs. Mae Young

WWE / WWF Royal Rumble 2000 - The King is stunned at Mae Young wanting to get naked
With Jerry Lawler on compere duties, a group of sexy young women in their twenties and thirties sauntered to ringside to judged by a panel of old men (and one old woman) which included legends Sgt. Slaughter, Tony Garea, The Fabulous Moolah, Johnny V and Classy Freddie Blassie, the latter of whom received a huge ovation from the New York crowd. Joining them on the panel was Conan O'Brien co-host Andy Richter, who was also somehow qualified for the gig.

One by one, the ladies took turns to reveal their bathing suits, with prudish heel Ivory reluctant to do so but still looking remarkably hot anyway.

Terri and Jacqueline also looked particularly stunning, while Barbara Bush was naturally a thing of beauty too. The Kat, however, wore a bathing suit made out of bubble wrap which was supposed to be sexy but which actually made her look like she was wearing a diaper and was all kinds of odd.

Luna Vachon refused to participate at all, which was just as well as they needed the extra time for Mae Young. Young arrived on the scene as a last-minute surprise and claimed that everybody wanted to see her puppies, much to the shock and horror of just about everyone.

She then began to strip to her bathing suit and strut around the place, which was pretty funny until she literally exposed her bare breasts to Madison Square Garden at which point, the joke had clearly been pushed too far. With the producers doing their best to censor the saggy boobs, Mark Henry came in to protect her modesty.

Finally, Young was declared the winner, bringing to an end a segment that started off sexy, got funny, and ended with more cringe than that earlier Hardy Boyz promo.
Your Winner: Mae Young

Cutting across to the company's new 'entertainment complex' WWF New York, newcomer The Coach made his WWF PPV debut getting mobbed by a bunch of rabid fans while saying nothing of note other than letting us know that WWF New York existed.

Chris Jericho is not a Gentleman

WWE / WWF Royal Rumble 2000 - Co-intercontinental Champions Chris Jericho & Chyna
Meanwhile, back in the arena, co-Intercontinental Champions Chris Jericho and Chyna were seen arguing over which one of them got to wear the belt to the ring for their upcoming match.

Chyna, whose theme song literally started with the words "don't treat me like a woman," claimed that Jericho should be chivalrous and let her wear it.

"Chivalrous?" exclaimed Jericho. "What do you think this is, the middle ages?"

Before the argument could get any more heated, Dave Hebner came and snatched the title from them, claiming he'd be the one to take it to ringside.

Amusingly, Jericho first referred Dave as Earl before correcting himself.

Triple Threat match for the World Wrestling Federation Intercontinental Championship
Co-WWF Intercontinental Champion Chyna vs. Co-WWF Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho vs. Hardcore Holly

Though you might question why Hardcore Holly needed to be involved in this one, it was nonetheless a solid mid-card triple threat match that entertained from bell-to-bell.

Prior to the match, Chris Jericho took to the microphone to promise that the celebration after he won would be the biggest thing ever. He then proceeded to deliver a perfectly acceptable performance against Chyna and Holly before making good on his word and picking up the three thanks to an Asai Moonsault.
Your Winner and New Undisputed Intercontinental Champion: Chris Jericho

I say 'true to his word,' his post-match celebration was really nothing special.

Finally...The Rock has come back to New York City

WWE / WWF Royal Rumble 2000 - Michael Cole interviews The Rock
Out in the back, Michael Cole asked The Rock if there were any superstars he was worried about facing in tonight's Royal Rumble match.

Hilariously, The Great One told us that he had his concerns about Crash Holly and Headbanger Mosh, but that if he could get past them, he might have a chance of winning.

Cole, of course, was thinking that The Rock might have a bigger problem with The Big Show, to which Rocky responded by sending Cole away to fix himself a glass of Shut Up Juice then laying the verbal smackdown on Paul Wight.

Finally, The Most Electrifying Man in Sports Entertainment wrapped up this awesome promo by guaran-damn-teeing that he would win tonight's Royal Rumble and go on to become our new WWF Champion at Wrestlemania 16.

Though it should go without saying, this was amazing stuff from The People's Champion.

We got two words for ya...

Prior to our final undercard match of the evening, we were reminded that The Acolytes had earned a tag team title shot tonight by winning a battle royal back at Armageddon 1999.

Farooq and Bradshaw had then spent the rest of the past few weeks feuding with Road Dogg and Billy Gunn, with both teams beating the heck out of each other on multiple occasions, and if you weren't down with that, Farooq had two words for ya...

...Ass Kicking.

World Wrestling Federation Tag Team Championship
WWF Tag Team Champions The New Age Outlaws (Road Dogg Jesse James & Bad Ass Billy Gunn) vs. The Acolytes (Farooq & Bradshaw)

WWE / WWF Royal Rumble 2000 - The New Age Outlaws faced The Acolytes for the Tag Team TitlesThis was the worst match on the card, but that's not to say that it was actually bad.

It was a short and sweet affair in which The Acolytes used their brute power to just absolutely demolish the New Age Outlaws.

A minute or two in, Farooq looked to get the win on Road Dogg, only for Billy Gunn to yank the referee out of the ring, only for Bradshaw to charge at him, knocking both Gunn and the referee flying.

That presented an opportunity for X-Pac to run in, and in the resulting confusion, Billy was able to hit Bradshaw with a Fame Asser for the fall.
Your Winners and Still WWF Tag Team Champions: The New Age Outlaws

Up next, we got another look back at the intense rivalry between Triple H and Cactus Jack.

Street Fight for the World Wrestling Federation Championship
WWF Champion Triple H (w/ Stephanie McMahon) vs. Cactus Jack

WWE / WWF Royal Rumble 2000 -  Cactus Jack and Triple H went to war
We'd seen Hunter and Mick Foley have enjoyable matches before, such as their brawl at Canadian Stampede: In Your House 16, their cage match at Summerslam 1997 and, to a lesser extent, their opening bout at One Night Only 1997 in England.

Yet none of those matches could hold a candle to the sheer brutality of this no-holds-barred street fight.

Though it may not be quite as memorable as Foley's show-stealing performance against The Rock at Royal Rumble 1999, this was still nonetheless a fantastic title match that got better and better the longer it went.

Despite a slow start, both champ and challenger worked hard to turn this into a violent, bloody massacre of a match. They used fists, they used steel chairs, they used 2x4s wrapped in barbed wire and they absolutely destroyed not only each other but everything in their path.

Google usually gives me grief for posting shots of wrestlers sporting the crimson mask, so here's a link to the shot of a bloody and broken Triple H.

Yet The Game wasn't the only one to take a beating. In a callback to the aforementioned Mankind/Rock I Quit match, Cactus Jack had his hands handcuffed behind his back and had the crap kicked out of him all the way to the entrance way.

Undeterred, Jack begged for more, but before Hunter could strike, The Rock arrived and smashed his old nemesis with a steel chair, after which a New York City cop unhandcuffed the challenger.

The two then brawled back to the ring where Foley took a vicious back body drop and a pedigree onto some thumbtacks to end the match.
Your Winner and Still WWF Champion: Triple H


All told, including entrances, that whole match lasted over half an hour and you know what? I enjoyed every minute of it.

Afterwards, a battered and bloody champion was stretchered off while the defeated Cactus, being the Hardcore Legend that he was, simply got up and dragged Triple H back for another ass whooping.

To be honest, one of the best parts of the post-match antics was seeing JR & King at their announce table, which had been destroyed and was covered in the spilt blood of Triple H.

Talk about a warzone.

A Word with the CEO

Prior to our main event, we went back to WWF New York where Jonathan Coachman tried to interview a sour-faced Linda McMahon about her daughter Stephanie's nefarious heel turn.

Linda refused to comment on Steph's actions but promised that things would be handled 'The McMahon Way' from there on in.

2000 Royal Rumble Match
Featuring: The Rock, Big Show, D'Lo Brown, Grandmaster Sexay, Scotty 2 Hotty, Edge, Christian, Val Venis, Big Boss Man, Chris Jericho, Chyna, X-Pac, Kane, The Godfather, Rikishi, Bob Backlund and more

WWE / WWF Royal Rumble 2000 -  The Rock won the Rumble match
And so the Royal Rumble match got underway with a somewhat uninspired effort between entrants 1 & 2, D'Lo Brown and Grandmaster Sexay. Entrant number three was The Rock's worse nightmare, Headbanger Mosh, who sported some rather interested fur cones on his chest. That was the most interesting thing that happened for a few minutes until Rikishi came in at the number five spot (Christian was number four).

The big man cleaned house, eliminating everyone in the ring and even taking out his Too Cool buddies Grandmaster Sexay and Scotty Too Hotty, though not without the obligatory dance break.

'Kishi stayed on a roll, further eliminating Steve Blackman and Viscera before Big Boss Man and Test arrived, at which point the match settled into a fairly basic yet still pretty entertaining Rumble.

Other highlights included:

  • Bob Backlund appearing as a surprise entrant
  • Mean Street Posse running into attack Farooq and later Bradshaw for seemingly no reason
  • Kai En Tai hilariously making multiple run-ins, only to be immediately thrown over the top. At one point, Taka Michinoku got injured, so Funaki continued to do run-ins on his own for the rest of the match, it was pretty funny.

In the end, it all came down to X-Pac, Kane, Big Show and The Rock. X-Pac got eliminated but the referee didn't see it, so he was able to come back and hang out for a while before taking Kane out of the mix. Naturally, 'Pac was the next man to go, leaving the predictable showdown between Rock and Big Show.

After an enjoyable bit of back-and-forth, both men toppled over the top, but Rock was able to hold on while Big Show crashed to the outside.

Not the best Rumble match in history then, but still decent enough.
Your Winner: The Rock

Afterwards, The Rock took to the microphone to declare that he was on his way to Wrestlemania, only for The Big Show to return and beat him up. The two had an intense staredown and trash-talked each other as Royal Rumble 2000 went off the air.





While the actual Rumble match may not have been the greatest in history, it's fair to say that this was the most fun I've had writing a Retro Pro Wrestling review for a long time.

After the long, hard slog of crash-course TV and sub-par matches that was 1999, Royal Rumble 2000 made for a refreshing change.

There really wasn't a bad match on the card and, overall, this one was a lot of fun from start to finish.

One I do recommend checking out.




For more Royal Rumble reviews see:

Thursday, 17 October 2019

PPV REVIEW: WWF Armageddon 1999

WWE / WWF Armageddon 1999 - Event Poster
December 12, 1999
National Car Rental Center, Sunrise, Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

Since they first launched them back in 1995, The World Wrestling Federation had never really seemed to care too much about their December pay per views.

Whether it was the Bulldog/Diesel fiasco back at In Your House 5: Seasons Beatings or Shawn Michaels taking on Ken Shamrock back at In Your House 19: D-Generation-X, the company's end-of-year offerings always gave you the impression that they'd turned on the autopilot button for the winter and were taking some well-earned downtime before the Royal Rumble.

While you can hardly blame them, that doesn't exactly fill this writer with a lot of confidence going into tonight's show.

Still, at least this one had some historical significance to it.

Apart from a year off in 2001 when in the wake of September 11th, it was changed to Vengence, Armageddon would go onto become the WWF's annual December PPV all the way until 2008.

But did this long-running PPV series get off to a good start?





Let's head to Sunrise, Florida to find out.

Triple H and Vince McMahon hate each other

WWE / WWF Armageddon 1999 - Jim Ross & Jerry 'The King' Lawler called the action
The show opened with an eerie video package in which a falsetto choir boy sang over shots of Vince McMahon and Triple H pulling faces to demonstrate the intensity of their various emotions.

This was all put together to remind us, in a somewhat subtle way, that Triple H had drugged Stephanie McMahon and married her - a somewhat dubious start to WWE's longest running partnership to say the least.

Clearly angry that Andrew 'Test' Martin wasn't going to be the man to eventually launch NXT and have five-hour long epic matches at Wrestlemania every year, Vince McMahon had begun a war with Hunter which would hopefully be settled tonight when the two met in no holds barred match.

From there, the cameras panned the arena as a very excited Jim Ross and Jerry 'The King' Lawler welcomed us to the show and took us straight into our first match.

Sixteen Man Tag Team Battle Royal
The Dudley Boyz (D-Von & Bubba Ray Dudley) vs. Edge & Christian vs. The Headbangers (Mosh & Thrasher) vs. The Hardys (Matt & Jeff Hardy) vs. The Mean Street Possee (Pete Gas & Rodney) vs. The Acolytes (Farooq & Bradshaw) vs. Too Cool (Scotty Too Hotty & Grandmaster Sexay) vs. The Godfather & 'Sexual Chocolate' Mark Henry

The winner receives a tag team title shot at the Royal Rumble
When one member of a team is eliminated, both have to leave the ring.


WWE / WWF Armageddon 1999 - Bubba Ray Dudley
Battle royals are rarely all that exciting to watch until the finish, and this one was no exception.

Yes, there's always the novelty of seeing the ring entirely filled with people, but nothing much exciting happens until you get down to the final.

In this instance, it came down to The Hardys vs. The Acolytes who managed to put together a very entertaining finish. At one point, both Bradshaw and Matt Hardy went over the ropes at the same time, leaving Jeff Hardy to battle it out with Farooq.

Hardy sent Farooq sailing over the ropes with a flying headscissors, but the referee was too busy tending to Matt Hardy to see it.

All four men returned to the ring until both Matt and Bradshaw ended up on the apron, at which point Farooq sent Jeff flying through the air to the outside in order to win the match.
Your Winners: The Acolytes

Out in the back, Kurt Angle bragged to Lillian Garcia about still being undefeated in the World Wrestling Federation despite losing a tag team match to The Dudleys on Smackdown.

According to Angle, the loss was all Steve Blackman's fault, and since it was The Lethal Weapon who ate the pin, Kurt's record stayed unblemished.

Kurt Angle vs. Steve Blackman

WWE / WWF Armageddon 1999 - Kurt Angle faced Steve Blackman
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, one month after debuting at the 1999 Survivor Series, Kurt Angle, Olympic Hero, future WWF Hall of Famer and one of the greatest of all time found himself in a feud with...Steve Blackman.

Talk about an underwhelming start.

Here, the two locked up in what was a pretty mediocre match that elicited a 'boring' chant from the Florida faithful.

Though I wouldn't go quite as far as to call it boring, I will admit that this one was pretty forgettable.

In fact, the best part of the whole thing was Kurt Angle's over-the-top celebration, acting like he'd just won another gold medal when all he'd done was pin Blackman with a German suplex.
Your Winner: Kurt Angle

Post-match, The Lethal Weapon blasted Angle with a pair of nun-chucks, much to the crowd's delight.

Cole has a crush on B.B

Meanwhile, out in the back, Michael Cole got all tongue-tied and flabberghasted while trying to interview B.B about her upcoming evening gown match.

At one point, she asked him for help with fastening up her dress and poor ol' Cole turned into a gibbering goofball.

World Wrestling Federation Women's Championship Evening Gown Pool Match
WWF Women's Champion Ivory vs. Miss Kitty vs. Jacqueline vs. B.B

WWE / WWF Armageddon 1999 - Miss KittySpecial referees: Mae Young & Fabulous Moolah

#WomensRevolution

Honestly, Ivory and Jacqueline probably deserve their Hall of Fame inductions on the basis of having to suffer the indignity of this match.

That's if you can even call it a match. The four women basically chased each other around a giant paddling pool for three minutes then stripped each other to their bra and panties.

Eventually, Miss Kitty pulled off Ivory's dress to be crowned our new women's champion.

There was nothing sexy, or even entertaining, about it.
Your Winner and NEW WWF Women's Champion: Miss Kitty

Post-match, the new champion celebrated by reminding us that she had promised to get naked. She then proceeded to strip and flash us her boobs, only for Sgt. Slaughter to cover her up with a towel and whisk her backstage.

Not to be outdone, Mae Young claimed that we all wanted to see her naked and started to undress, only for Slaughter to carry her away too.

Admittedly, this fan laughed out loud at the Mae Young bit, but that was only because she played her part with such conviction that you couldn't help but laugh.

He did it for The Rock the fat people

WWE / WWF Armageddon 1999 - Kevin Kelly interviews Rikishi Phatu
Out in the back, Kevin Kelly interviewed a stern-faced Rikishi Fatu.

Kelly asked Rikishi why he thought The Hollys had developed such a problem with him since his recent arrival in the WWF. The big man reminded us that Bob and Crash had been mouthing off about his size, and the size of his upcoming tag team partner, Viscera, then claimed to represent "all the fat, healthy people."

Rikishi was pretty compelling here, even if his storyline with Viscera and The Hollys was completely uninteresting.

The Holly Cousins (Bob & Crash Holly) vs. Viscera & Rikishi Fatu

WWE / WWF Armageddon 1999 - Rikishi and Viscera faced The Hollys
There are some matches which sound pretty dull on paper but then actually surprise you.

This wasn't one of those matches.

The story was that Viscera and Rikishi didn't really get along, but were teaming up because they were both fat. That's literally the whole point of their union.

They tried their best to take out The Holly cousins in what was yet another very mediocre battle, with Rikishi even pulling out his Rikishi Drop. Sadly, it wasn't enough for the win as straight after he hit the move, the Hollys pulled out a fluke pinfall.
Your Winners: The Hollys

Afterwards, Rikishi and Viscera predictably came to blows, with 'Kish kicking Vis out of the ring.

Pretty sure there wasn't a single person in the world who cared about this.

Val seduces Lillian

WWE / WWF Armageddon 1999 - Val Venis seduced Lillian Garcia
Out in the back, Lillian Garcia reminded Val Vanis that he had once been the Intercontinental Champion and that tonight, he had the opportunity to become the European Champion.

Val responded by promising to win the title then head over to Europe and seduce all of the continent's most beautiful women.

Proving the bilingual prowess that should serve him well when he went to Spain, The Big Valbowski began speaking Spanish to Lillian and managed to seduce her.

She wrapped her arm around Val's and off they went together. To give Venis his credit, he was very charismatic here and delivered an entertaining segment.

World Wrestling Federation European Championship Triple Threat
WWF European Champion The British Bulldog (w/ The Mean Street Posse) vs. D'Lo Brown vs. Val Venis

WWE / WWF Armageddon 1999 - European Champion British Bulldog w/ The Mean Street Posse
Prior to the bell, Jim Ross told us that D'Lo Brown was the only person to hold both the European and Intercontinental Championships at the same time, proving that Jeff Jarrett (who also held that honour) was persona non grata within the WWF.

Since he didn't yet have the authority to book tag team matches, referee Teddy Long sent The Mean Street Posse to the back as soon as they arrived, leaving The British Bulldog to defend his title by himself.

The resulting match was the best thing on the card so far, but that really isn't saying much of anything.

It had some fun spots, like D'Lo Brown's super plancha to the outside and the finish, in which D'Lo hit Bulldog with his frog splash, only for Val to Money Shot them both and win the match.

It was kind of entertaining, but the more I think about it, anything was going to look entertaining compared to the snoozefest the entire undercard had been so far.
Your Winner and NEW WWF European Champion: Val Venis

WWE / WWF Armageddon 1999 - Michael Cole interviews X-Pac
Out in the back, X-Pac told Kevin Kelly that since Kane had demanded a cage match against him, he (Pac) had a demand of his own.

He demanded that while he could win via pinfall or cage escape, Kane was only allowed to win via pinfall. Apparently, that demand had been accepted by The Big Red Machine.

You know, I'm a huge fan of Sean Waltman, but most of his promos were terrible, this one included.


Steel Cage Match
Kane (w/ Tori) vs. X-Pac

This was the first truly good match on the card and very enjoyable performance from start to finish.

X-Pac was the consummate heel here, getting his DX buddies The New Age Outlaws to break into the cage and hand him a steel chair. He used that before drilling Tori with the X-Factor when she tried to stop him escaping the cage.

Pac then tried escaping again, only this time, Kane left the cage via the door (which had been busted open by The Outlaws), caught his opponent on his shoulders and carried him back into the ring.

Then, he climbed all the way to the top of the cage and came crashing down on X-Pac with a wicked looking clothesline that got the live crowd more excited than they'd been all evening.

One tombstone later and this very fun match was at its end.
Your Winner: Kane

Up next, we got a look at the rivalry between Chris Jericho and Chyna. Those two would duke it out next.

World Wrestling Federation Intercontinental Championship
WWF Intercontinental Champion Chyna (w/ Miss Kitty) vs. Chris Jericho

WWE / WWF Armageddon 1999 - Chyna defended the Intercontinental Championship against Chris Jericho
Though this match will have its detractors (as all matches do),  it was actually a very good outing for Jericho and Chyna.

The former worked hard to be a complete and utter bastard, at one point snogging Miss Kitty before turning his attention to Chyna's injured thumb and just destroying it.

Meanwhile, the valiant champion fought back with all that she had, resulting in a dramatic and thoroughly engaging contest.

Unfortunately, it wasn't to be Chyna's night and she eventually surrendered to the Walls of Jericho.
Your Winner and NEW WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Jericho

Out in the back, Jericho bragged to Michael Cole about his new title, only to be interrupted by Chyna.

In a display of true sportswomanship, The Ninth Wonder of the World extended her hand as a mark of respect to Jericho. Y2J accepted it and was baffled when Chyna simply walked away rather than wanting to fight some more.

World Wrestling Federation Tag Team Championship
WWF Tag Team Champions The New Age Outlaws (Road Dogg Jesse James & Bad Ass Billy Gunn) vs. The Rock & Sock Connection (Mankind & The Rock)

WWE / WWF Armageddon 1999 - The Rock & Sock Connection faced The New Age Outlaws
Nobody involved in this one had the best match of their career here, but it was still a pretty decent effort for what it was.

Not that it started off that way. The only thing that garnered any reaction from the crowd at all was The Rock tagging in, after which it went back to being a generic tag team match for a bit.

Then, Al Snow ran in and things started to pick up. No, I'm not saying Al Snow was the reason things started to get good, more than his arrival was the cue for the wrestlers to start working towards the finish.

Snow was jealous of Mankind's success and partnership with The Rock. He attacked him here but got his ass handed to him by The Rock instead.

Back in the ring, Mankind barely escaped a couple of near falls then, just when it looked like Rock & Sock had won the thing, Al Snow returned to cause the DQ.

It was a smart move. Nobody would have believed The Outlaws getting a clean win over The Rock while nobody wanted to see The Great One saddled with the tag team titles either.

Not the best match ever, but it could have been worse.
Your Winners via DQ: The Rock & Sock Connection

Up next, we got a look back at that terrible feud between The Big Show and The Big Boss Man. You remember the one, right? Where Big Boss Man revealed that Big Boss Man was a "nasty bastard" whose "fake daddy" had died?

Yeah. That would all come to an end tonight.

World Wrestling Federation Championship
WWF Champion The Big Show vs. The Big Boss Man (w/ Prince Albert)

WWE / WWF Armageddon 1999 - WWF Champion The Big Show defended his title against Big Boss Man
It's only when you watch this back that you realise how badly the WWF screwed up Big Show.

He looked to be in the best shape of his life here, was the WWF Champion, and yet his first PPV title defence was basically a three-minute squash match to end a really terrible feud.

Big Show won with a chokeslam.

Nothing about this was good.
Your Winner and Still WWF champion.

Up next, we took a look at the hatred that had been building between Vince McMahon and his new son-in-law, Triple H.

No Holds Barred Match
Triple H vs. Vince McMahon

WWE / WWF Armageddon 1999 - Triple H and Stephanie McMahon join forces for the first time
If Vince wins, Triple H's marriage to Stephanie is annulled. If Hunter wins, he gets a WWF title shot.

With his daughter's freedom on the line, Vince McMahon really went for Triple H, but was no match for his powerful opponent, even when he started to use the trolly full of weapons that Mankind helpfully brought to the ring in the early going.

Watching this, you got what they were going for:

A dramatic, epic battle for the ages that tugged at the emotions and had you on the edge of your seat, rooting for Vince to give Triple H what was coming to him.

Instead, all that you got was 30 minutes of Hunter beating McMahon to a pulp and Vince occasionally getting a shot or two in.

At one point, they left the arena and Triple H tried to run his opponent over with a car. Vince escaped with his life, then the two climbed all the way to to the top of some big tower by the entrance and HHH knocked Vince off it. Those were the only two high points of the match, and even they couldn't stop the majority of this match from boring the arse off everyone who would ever watch it until the end of time.

At the finish, Triple H looked to finish off Vince with his sledgehammer but McMahon countered with a low blow, grabbed the sledgehammer and looked to seal Helmsley's fate.

Instead, Stephanie Mcmahon -who had been watching from the front row- stepped into the ring and begged her Dad to let her to the honours. Yet alas, the younger McMahon couldn't bring herself to do it. HHH snatched the hammer from her and laid out Vince for the win.
Your Winner: Triple H

Post-match, Helmsley lifted the sledgehammer aloft as though to bring it crashing down on Stephanie's skull. The heiress to the WWF empire stared down The Game then smiled a wicked, evil smile and embraced him, celebrating with her husband, the once and future King of Kings, as Armageddon 1999 went off the air.





And so it turned out that tonight wasn't important just because it was the start of a PPV series that would run for nigh on a decade, but because it marked the start of The McMahon-Helmsley Era, the reign of WWE's power couple that is still wielding control over their empire some 20 years later.

Not that such historical events make up for Armageddon being a pretty lousy show.

Yes, there were some great moments in the cage match, the Intercontinental match and, to a lesser extent, the tag team title match, but there was far too much stuff here that just bored your writer -and the Florida crowd- to tears. If that's not proof that the company were still in the habit of going on autopilot in December, I don't know what is.



1999 events reviewed so far
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