October 19, 2003,
1st Mariner Arena in Baltimore, Maryland.

Introduction - Smackdown had been the better brand since split PPVs had come into place -0 would they stay that way tonnight.

Vince McMahon is an Abusive Father

Tonight's opening video package focused primarily on the rivalry between Vince McMahon and his daughter, Stephanie, a rivalry which was basically all about Mr. McMahon being an evil and abusive father who booked himself in a match against his daughter even though it was the last thing Stephanie wanted. 

The McMahon story dominated this opening, after which about 30 seconds was given over to hyping the WWE Championship match between reigning champion Brock Lesnar and his challenger, The Undertaker.

 

 

From there, we got the usual crowd shots and pyro as an overly enthusiastic Michael Cole welcomed us to the show. I swear, as Cole bounced giddily in his chair while introducing his colleague, Tazz, it seemed like he'd snorted several lines of coke just before going on air. 

Tazz and Cole then gave us a wave to the Spanish announce table before getting on with our opening match.

WWE Cruiserweight Championship
WWE Cruiserweight Champion Tajiri vs. Rey Mysterio

Before the bell, Rey Mysterio had referee Brian Hebner check Tajiri's mouth for the Evil Japanese Mist of Doom, something more wrestlers really should have been doing given Tajiri's reputation for spraying it everywhere.

 

 

From there, the two locked up and gave us a thrilling opening contest that combined fast-paced action with a solid ground game. The whole thing got better the longer it went on, building towards a climatic finale complete with some dramatic near falls.

At that point, a "fan" rushed the ring and distracted Rey, allowing the champion to capitalize and steal the victory.

Of course, the "fan" wasn't a fan at all, it was debuting superstar Jimmy Yang, who was joining the company as an ally of Tajiri.

Your Winner and Still WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Tajiri

Out in the back, a nervous Josh Matthews interrupted Mr. McMahon to ask him about his match tonight.

 

 

As captivating a presence as he always was, Vince cut a strong promo in which he claimed that he was sad about what he'd have to do tonight but was going to do it anyway because the issue was mostly personal but also partly business. 

McMahon wrapped up by warning that anybody who got involved and tried to help Stephanie would never be employed ever again, not just in WWE, but anywhere, 

That was good stuff from the chairman of the board.

A-Train vs. Chris Benoit

Though it took a while to build up momentum, this one gradually developed into a solid match which must undoubtedly go down as one of A-Train's better performances of his career.

 

Like I've said about countless matches before, this wasn't the greatest thing you'll ever see, but it was perfectly good enough and was compelling without being overly dramatic. 

After the better part of 10 minutes, Chris Benoit locked A-Train in a sharpshooter in tribute to the Hart Family after the then-recent passing of Stu Hart. 

A-Train tapped and that was that.

Your Winner: Chris Benoit 

Backstage, Matt Hardy searched for his buddy Shannon Moore and found him being choked out by Heindenriech. 

 

 

Hendenreich was annoyed that Matt Hardy had thrown his WWE tryout tape in the garbage, but Matt promised that wasn't actually the case and he would give Heindenreich's tape to the new Smackdown GM, assuming there'd be one after Stephanie faced Vince.

To be honest, I didn't really understand what was going on here and it wasn't very entertaining.

Zach Gowan vs. Matt Hardy V1 (w/ Shannon Mooore)

Though this was the shortest match on the card so far, it was still pretty fun. The Matt Hardy V1 character was always entertaining and when you combined that with the simple story of the plucky underdog trying to get the better of the arrogant heel, it came off well. 

 

 

After a decent enough match, Zach Gowan scaled the top rope and landed an impressive moonsault to pick up his first win in WWE. 

Your Winner: Zach Gowan

Back in Vince's locker room, Linda McMahon begged her husband not to wrestle their daughter tonight. 

 

 

 

Vince refused to reconsider but did change up the rules, making it a no-holds barred match and decreeing that while he could only win via submission, Stephanie could win by pin or submission. 

The APA (Farooq & Bradshaw) vs. The Basham Brothers (Doug & Danny Basham)

As Bradshaw greeted some military personnel in the front row, a flashback to Smackdown showed us him decapitating The Basham's manger, Shaniqua.

 

 

That led to Doug and Danny Basham getting some revenge by destroying Bradshaw with a chair, leading to the bald-headed duo's WWE PPV debut here tonight against Bradshaw and Farooq.

Since Shaniqua had been taken out, she didn't accompany her boys to the ring, leaving them alone to wrestle what was a pretty boring match until the last minute or so. 

At that point, Bradshaw started tossing out Last Calls to his opponents, only for Shaniqua and her new breasts to run in and clobber JBL over the head, giving the win to her team.

Your Winners: The Basham Brothers 

Out in the back, The Bashams fondled Shaniqua while she told Josh Matthews that JBL's attack on her had made her chest swell and that it would be permanent. 

 

 

 

In other words, it the attack and subsequent time away from TV was a way to give her a break to get a boob job. 

Up next, we got a video package hyping the first ever Father vs. Daughter I Quit Match in which Stephanie would lose her job as Smackdown GM if she lost.

I don't know why anybody would want to see Vince vs. Steph, but here we are. 

I Quit Match
Stephanie McMahon (w/ Linda McMahon) vs. Mr. McMahon (w/ Sable)

This was awful. 

I don't mean in the sense that the wrestling wasn't any good. Weirdly enough, the crowd were into the whole thing and it was the hottest match of the night so far. 

 

 

I just meant that the whole storyline was in too poor taste for this writer's liking.

I know, call me soft or old-fashioned or whatever  you want, but even in the fake world of scripted pro wrestling, I don't find anything entertaining about a man physically abusing his daughter and then his wife.

That's precisely what happened here. 

Vince beat up Steph, Steph got hold of a steel pipe that Sable had thrown in the ring and destroyed her Dad with it to the delight of the crowd, but then Vince made a comeback and choked his daughter out with the pipe until she passed out and Linda threw in the towel. 

 

 

I know there'll be people who liked that, but I just didn't enjoy a second of that. 

Your Winner: Mr. McMahon

Afterwards, Vince grabbed Linda as she tended to Stephanie, muzzled her with his hand around her face then threw her to the floor before snogging Sable. 

As all this was going on, Stephanie looked upset that her mum had thrown in the towel, but handed her exit gracefully, waving goodbye to the fans as she was helped to the back.

John Cena vs. Kurt Angle 

After weeks of basically battle-rapping against one another, John Cena and Kurt Angle finally locked up as the former looked to prove that he was a bigger star than the latter.

For the most part, he almost accomplished that goal as he and Angle waged war  in an absolutely tremendous match.

This was very similar to Cena's match against The Undertaker at Vengeance 2003 in that Cena ultimately lost the match but took his opponent right to the very limit and looked like a true star in the process.

It was clearly a tactic that was paying off as the crowds became divided between "Let's Go Cena!" and "Let's Go Angle!" chants despite Cena being the babyface. 

Of course, I've made this whole match review about The Doctor of Thuganomics, but that's not to discredit or downplay Angle's contributions. 

The Olympic Gold Medalist was on fine form as always, helping to create what had to the match of the night before finally snatching victory the jaws of defeat thanks to an ankle lock/leg lock combo.

Your Winner: Kurt Angle 

Up next, we were shown a video package of the rivalry between Eddie Guerrero and Big Show which basically revolved around Guerrero spraying Show with a waste from a waste truck and Show getting revenge by punching Eddie's car window through.

WWE United States Championship
WWE United States Champion Eddie Guerrero vs. The Big Show

The last time we saw Eddie, he was heading into full-on heel mode, but the crowd loved him so much that he was cheered throughout the contest.

 

 

His body scarred and torn from a recent attack by The Big Show, the reigning champion entered into a good contest with his larger challenger. 

Though this was never going to claim match of the night honors (especially not after Angle/Lesnar), both men played to their strengths and looked good in the process. 

Big Show survived getting hit in the face with both brass knuckles and the US title belt as well as frog splash, but still lived to fight on and chokeslam his way to a US title win.

Your Winner and NEW US Champion: The Big Show 

Post-match, Chavo Guerrero came down and tried to console his uncle by reminding him that the two were still tag team champions, but Eddie was furious and didn't want to hear about it.

Backstage, Josh Matthews caught up with the new US champion who gloated that he'd done exactly what he told everybody he was going to do in beating Eddie Guerrero. 

A video package then aired for our main event and then it was back to the ring.

Biker Chain Match for the WWE Championship
WWE Champion Brock Lesnar vs. The Undertaker

In case you're wondering what a biker chain match is, it's basically a "chain on a pole" match.

That was the plan anyway. The truth was that the actual chain didn't come into play until the closing moments of the match. 

Before that, we got 20+ minutes of a long, tired slog that never seemed to kick it up into the higher gear you knew both Lesnar and 'Taker were capable of. 

The two had a great battle back at Unforgiven 2002, and when they met in a Hell in a Cell match a year earlier at No Mercy 2002, that was awesome too.

This though, just wasn't. 

It wasn't terrible in the sense that the wrestling was bad or anything. Both men were capable performers who worked well together, it's just that nothing they did was all that exciting or interesting. 

Watching them, you kept waiting for some kind of big spot or match-changing move that would up the intensity and take us into the typical WWE-style main event finish.

Instead, things just plodded and plodded along until The FBI randomly ran in. 

The Undertaker destroyed them and went for the chain, only for Vince McMahon to pop up and push the challenger off the turnbuckle so that he crotched the ropes. 

At that point, Brock grabbed the chain (which had fallen to the ground when Vince attacked 'Taker), smashed his opponent in the face with it, and won the match.

Your Winner and Still WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar

Post-match, Brock celebrated with his title as 'Taker writhed in agony.

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No Mercy 2003 wasn't the greatest show of all time. The Angle/Cena match was the best thing on the card and the opening cruiserweight match was also a lot of fun.

However, the main event was disappointing, the APA tag match was boring, and the Vince/Steph saga was awful in all kinds of ways. 

Not the Smackdown brand's finest hour then, but to be honest, I've seen much worse PPVs. 

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Other 2003 pro wrestling reviews: 

• WWE Royal Rumble 2003
• WWE No Way Out 2003
• WWE Wrestlemania 19
• WWE Backlash 2003
• WWE Insurrextion 2003
• WWE Judgement Day 2003
• WWE Bad Blood 2003
• WWE Vengeance 2003
• WWE Summerslam 2003
• WWE Unforgiven 2003

Other WWE No Mercy reviews:

• WWF No Mercy UK 1999
• WWF No Mercy US 1999
• WWF No Mercy 2000
• WWF No Mercy 2001
• WWE No Mercy 2002

Be the first to catch the latest Retro Pro Wrestling reviews by following on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter @RetroPWrestling.

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PPV REVIEW: WWF Vengeance 2001

December 9, 2001
San Diego Sports Arena, San Diego, California.

WWF Vengeance 2001 was the first World Wrestling Federation Pay Per View to take place in the aftermath of The Invasion storyline.

If you recall, the whole thing had ended with Team WWF emerging triumphant in a Winner-Takes-All elimination match at Survivor Series 2001.

The following night on Raw, Ric Flair styled, profiled, and walked that ailse en route to the ring. There, he declared that he had purchased Shane and Stephanie McMahon's shares in the WWF, which had not only given the McMahon kids the money they needed to fun their hostile takeover event, but more importantly meant that The Nature Boy was now a co-owner of the WWF alongside Vince McMahon.

That created an immediate rivalry between the two as they tried to deal with the fall out of the Invasion. 

That, of course, meant unifying the WWF and WCW titles to create one undisputed champion. 

It isn't a spoiler to say that we all know who won. After all, the first undisputed champion would spend pretty much the rest of his career bragging about his accomplishments on a night which would ensure that things would never evvvvvvvvvvvvvver be the same...

...Again.

With that being said, let's down to San Diego for Vengeance 2001.

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Four Men. Three Matches. Two Titles. One Undisputed Champion

Remember that awesome Freddie Fellini movie from Summerslam 2000? The mysterious film director was at it again for tonight’s show with a quirky opening video that seemed like something you’d get if you fed David Lynch a bunch of happy films.

As many opening videos did around this time, the Vengeance video featured an elderly Classy Freddy Blassie wandering around an abandoned warehouse. This time, he sat in a chair watching the champions of yesteryear while dancers danced, clowns clowned and Grieg’s In the Hall of the Mountain King played.

All of this led to Blassie getting up and dancing with the dancers which was, naturally, the perfect way to hype up the serious importance of tonight’s show.

From there, it was pyro and crowd shots galore as Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler welcomed us to Vengeance.

‘Mr. McMahon Discusses Joining His Own Club’

‘Mr. McMahon Discusses Joining His Own Club’ - that’s what this segment is called on WWE Network and it makes me laugh a lot because it’s just such a polite way of saying ‘Vince McMahon came to the ring and talked about having his face rammed into Rikishi’s ass’ which is what actually happened.

The Vince McMahon Kiss My Ass Club had been launched the night after Survivor Series 2001 when Vince made William Regal pucker up to get his job back.

The dumb storyline -which often threatened to overshadow the build to the title unification matches- culminated in Vince being required to kiss The Rock’s ass, only for The Great One to make Vince basically smooch his cousin’s bumhole.

If you missed all that, you needn’t have worried - Vince started tonight’s show by telling us all about it before turning on the crowd to remind them “he who laughs last, laughs loudest”

This brought out Vince’s rival Nature Boy Ric Flair for his first WWF PPV appearance since the 1993 Royal Rumble.

Flair didn’t have much to say, his basic role was to pop the crowd and move things along by introducing our opening contest.

WWF European Champion Christian & Test vs. Scotty 2 Hotty & Albert

This all started when Test had beaten up Scotty 2 Hotty back at Survivor Series to get a shot in the immunity battle royal which, if you recall, he won.

The feud had then brought in Test’s ‘last men standing from The Alliance’ colleague Christian while Scotty had formed a random alliance of his own with the ‘Hip Hop Hippo’ Albert.

Not once in this whole feud was any mention made of the fact that Test and Albert used to team up.

Anyway, the match was...OK.

It certainly wasn’t bad and nobody did anything that could be classed as outright offensive, but it just wasn’t that interesting and failed to capture the attention.

After a reasonable yet uninspired effort, Albert destroyed Christian with the Baldo Bomb to win the match which didn’t bode well for the European Champion’s prospects.

Your Winners: Scotty 2 Hotty & Albert

Backstage, William Regal gave a strong interview to Jonathan Coachman in which he claimed that as excellent an athlete as Edge was, he’d never before incurred the wrath of someone with Regal’s experience.

This was a good performance from the Blackpool native, being much more Bad Ass Regal than Comic Foil Regal.

World Wrestling Federation Intercontinental Championship
WWF Intercontinental Champion Edge vs. William Regal

Regal continued to prove his worth as a performer in a strong match against Edge that was met with an unusually quiet reception from the live crowd.

The story was simple:

The aggressive veteran getting the upper hand on the young champion but growing increasingly more frustrated -and thus resorting to more and more dirty, underhand tactics- when his efforts proved too little to win the match.

Eventually, Regal’s desperation saw him reach for a pair of brass knuckles only for an exhausted yet determined Intercontinental champion to pull one last spear out of his arsenal and win the contest.

Your Winner and Still Intercontinental Champion: Edge

Backstage, we got a little comedy courtesy of Olympic Gold Medalist Kurt Angle and new WWF co-owner Nature Boy Ric Flair.

Angle interrupted Flair’s phone call to let him know that tonight, he was going to do what Flair never had:

Become the Undisputed Champion.

“Well that’s awesome,” said Flair. “You’ve certainly got the skills to do it.”

Expecting an argument but not getting one, Kurt continued to try and antagonise Flair with his insistence that he was the man for the job tonight. The more Flair agreed with him, the more frustrated our Olympic Hero got.

I’m never too good at describing the humor in these moments, but trust me, it was comical.

Meanwhile, across the way, Matt Hardy tried to sweeten up his girlfriend Lita so that she’d be on his side in her role as special referee when Matt met Jeff Hardy to settle their recent differences.

Much to Matt’s chagrin, Lita said that she was always on his side as his girlfriend, she would call things right down the middle in tonight’s match.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

Special guest referee: Lita

This had all started at Survivor Series when Jeff decided to dive off the top of a steel cage and crash through a table rather than win the match for his team.

Matt accused Jeff of being selfish and putting his love of taking risks before helping his team to victory. He had a point of course, but since the elder Hardy was being a bit of a d**k about the whole thing (as he had about other things such as ogling other members of the female roster), he had been cast in the role of heel.

Tonight, he continued his slow turn into a fully-fledged baddie in a match that he pretty much dominated from start to finish.

It was a weird one because although it wasn’t technically bad or anything, it still played out in front of a quiet crowd who were more into Lita than anything the two brothers were doing.

Besides, when you watch a Jeff Hardy match your kind of want to see him jumping around the place and at least breaking out a few fun spots. Outside of his match-winning Swanton bomb, however, there was none of that.

This was mostly just Matt beating up his brother and Jeff occasionally getting the briefest of comebacks before finally making the aforementioned swanton.

He made the cover, Matt got his foot on the ropes but Jeff pulled it off before Lita could see it and won the match.

Your Winner: Jeff Hardy

Afterwards, Matt protested his loss and, again, was completely justified in his complaint.

Trish Smells What The Rock is Cookin’

WWF Women’s Champion Trish Stratus had become a little infatuated with The Rock after The People’s Champion had saved her from joining the Vince McMahon Kiss My Ass Club and then snogged her face off backstage on either Raw or Smackdown (I forget which).

Tonight, she let herself into The Rock’s dressing room to give him a peck on the cheek for luck in his match tonight.

Before she left, Rocky told her that while he was completely focussed on that match, after it was done Trish would have plenty of time to smell what The Rock was cooking, which I think was a fairly gross way of saying he was going to shag her.

World Wrestling Federation World Tag Team Championship
WWF Tag Team Champions The Dudleyz (Bubba Ray & D’Von Dudley w/ Stacy Kiebler) vs. The Big Show & Kane

This certainly wasn’t awful or anything, and you could tell all four men were at least trying hard, but this tag team title match just wasn’t all that interesting.

Sure, there were a few notable moments. Big Show pulled Stacy’s pants down and smacked her bum because this was a different time in history when you could get away with that sort of thing.

Kane tried playing face-in-peril which, as a huge monster character, was just unbelievable, and then he and Big Show had a bit of a falling out because they weren’t as well gelled as a team as The Dudleyz and kept accidentally hitting each other.

In the end, Bubba Ray & D’Von nailed Show with a 3D onto an exposed turnbuckle to win the match.

Your Winners and Still Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz

Out in the back, Lita tried to convince Matt Hardy that she hadn’t seen his foot on the rope. An irate Hardy was having none of it and simply packed his bags and left.

World Wrestling Federation Hardcore Championship
WWF Hardcore Champion Rob Van Dam vs. The Undertaker

Though the hardcore title was well below the stature of both competitors at this stage, Rob Van Dam has held the belt for pretty much the entire Invasion storyline, so they had to at least do something with it.

Meanwhile, The Undertaker had now completed his transformation into a heel after feeling annoyed that Vince McMahon didn’t trust him enough to let him know that Kurt Angle was actually working as a mole when he switched to The Alliance.

Complaining about disrespect, ‘Taker felt so slighted that he decided the best thing to do would be to ram Jim Ross’ face in McMahon’s ass, then get his haircut and start beating up RVD.

Tonight, the American Bad Ass and The Whole F’N Show had the best match on the card up to this point by a large margin.

This was the first time all night that the crowd actually came alive, and who can blame them? They were watching a match that was captivating, enthralling, and peppered with enough big spots to get those loud *Holy s**t* chants going.

Speaking of which, the whole thing came to ahead when ‘Taker chokeslamed the champion off the stage through some tables to capture his first hardcore title.

Your Winner and New Hardcore Champion: The Undertaker

Back in Ric Flair‘s office, Chris Jericho confronted Nature Boy Ric Flair. 

Not unlike Kurt Angle earlier, Jericho insisted that Flair didn’t believe Jericho could get the job done tonight.

This time, Flair couldn’t really deny that, instead simply stating that if Jericho could do it, then more power to him. 

Whoever won the gold, Flair would walk the isle tomorrow night on Raw and award them the Undisputed Championship.

World Wrestling Federation Women’s Championship
WWF Women’s Champion Trish Stratus vs. Jacqueline

Though Trish would go on to be a competent and successful wrestler, she seemed very much over her head while locking up with the more experienced Jacqueline, making several mistakes that made the whole thing come off a little sloppy.

Of course, you can hardly blame her when she and Jacquie were trying to have an actual wrestling match and all the fans cared about was puppies.

Even Jerry Lawler, whose job it was to help get this stuff over, could only fixate on the colour of Trish’s bra.

After a minute or so of not very much, Trish hit her patented Bulldog to retain her title.

Your Winner and Still Women’s Champion: Trish Stratus

Prior to our main events, we were taken back to Smackdown and the moment The Rock burried Vince’s face in Rikishi’s ass.

Live from WWF New York, ‘Kishi joked about his concern that he might have to have McMahon’s ass surgically removed from his ass before telling us that he was now back and ready to back that ass up.

This was followed by a recap video of tonight’s undisputed championship matches set to the WWF Vengeance 2001 theme song, Sinner by Drowning Pool.

World Wrestling Federation Championship
WWF Champion Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Kurt Angle

Interestingly, Stone Cold Steve Austin came out to his classic Glass Shatters theme after months of using themes by Disturbed, firmly establishing the fact that his heel run was officially over.

His theme music wasn’t the only thing Austin brought back tonight. His older ring style also made a comeback...well, at least kind of.

This was the first time in perhaps years that we’d seen Austin having an actual wrestling match on PPV rather than the usual brawl up and down the isle and around ringside.

The champion even borrowed Angle’s own rolling German suplex move and hit him with five of the things in quick succession. Suplex city, bitch indeed.

Of course, Angle was no slouch either. The Olympic Gold Medalist worked hard here, but despite all that, this one fell short of their previous matches such as the one at Unforgiven 2001.

Your Winner and Still WWF Champion: Stone Cold Steve Austin

Because we couldn’t just go from one match to the next for some reason, this historic occasion was interrupted by a backstage skit in which Test hit on his former manager Trish Stratus, only for the women’s champion to send him packing.

World Championship
World Champion The Rock vs. Chris Jericho

Now this was more like the kind of WWF main event this writer was expecting; a compelling battle between two arch rivals with the intensity turned all the way up to 11.

While it wasn’t quite as good as their awesome outing at No Mercy 2001, it was still a damn fine match in which Jericho looked strong against The Rock.

Ok, so he was still a heel and acted accordingly, and ok, so he won the match after hitting Rock with a low blow after the champion was distracted by Vince McMahon interference, but this wasn’t a case of Y2J getting whooped every which way til Sunday then fluking a victory.

Prior to the cheating, Jericho actually looked like he belonged as he took one step closer to immortality.

Your Winner and New World Champion: Chris Jericho

Jericho had no time to celebrate, or even rest for that matter, as Austin charged the ring and immediately went after him.

The WWF Champion was then taken out with a chair courtesy of Angle before Rock returned to the ring and planted Chris Jericho with a rock bottom.

Thus, our final match of the evening began with both men lying on their backs, sucking air.

Undisputed Championship Match
WWF Champion Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. World Champion Chris Jericho

This was another decent match. Not as good as Jericho’s outing with The Rock, but passable as a main event and marred only by the fact that the crowd were obviously waiting for a run-in from a returning Triple H and that was never going to happen.

It wasn’t completely ludicrous to expect The Game to put in a cameo. His face was all over the advertisements for tonight while sledgehammers -his weapon of choice- were a prominent part of the show’s motif.

Alas, it wasn’t Hunter who was returning tonight but Booker T.

After failing to get his job back on a recent episode of Raw, the former Alliance member ran through the crowd and blasted his one-time leader in the head with a title belt. Then, Jericho made the cover. Earl Hebner made the count, and that was that.

Your Winner and New Undisputed Champion: Chris Jericho

Ladies and gentlemen, Chris Jericho had just beaten The Rock and Steve Austin in the same night. He would spend the rest of his career bragging about it.

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Understandably, Vengeance 2001 is remembered more for its historical significance regarding the Undisputed Championship than it is for its in ring quality, but that’s not to say that this wasn’t a good show.

The opener was fun, Regal/Edge was solid, and Rock/Jericho was a riot.

Match of the night goes to Undertaker/RVD, a really enjoyable bout that is definitely worth watching at least once.

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Other reviews of 2001 pro wrestling events: 

• WCW Sin
• WWF Royal Rumble 2001
• WCW Superbrawl: Revenge 
• WWF No Way Out 2001
• WCW Greed
• WWF Wrestlemania 17
• WWF Backlash 2001
• WWF Insurrextion 2001
• WWF King of the Ring 2001
• WWF Invasion
• WWF Summerslam 2001 
• WWA The Inception
• WWF Unforgiven 2001
• WWF No Mercy 2001
• WWF Rebellion 2001
• WWF Survivor Series 2001

Be the first to catch the latest Retro Pro Wrestling reviews by following on Facebook or Twitter @RetroPWrestling.

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PPV REVIEW: WWF Backlash 2001

April 29, 2001,
Allstate Arena, Rosemont, Illinois

A month prior to Backlash 2001, the World Wrestling Federation had presented Wrestlemania X-Seven, an event that would go down in history as arguably the greatest Wrestlemania event of all time. 

That incredible show was the peak of a tremendous run of great shows for the company, with the quality of their in-ring product as good as it had ever been.

Still, a lot had changed in the few weeks since 'Mania.

Once sworn rivals hell-bent on homicide, Steve Austin and Triple H were now on the same page, a whole host of ECW stars were integrating themselves into the roster, and the creative clusterf**k that was The Invasion was drawing ever closer.

With all that going on, could the WWF keep up their hot streak and deliver a show every bit as awesome as Wrestlemania 17?

Let's head down to the Allstate Arena in Rosemont, Illinois to find out.

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No Power. No Gold. Know Power. Know Gold

Once upon a time, Triple H had arranged for Stone Cold Steve Austin to be run over by a car at Survivor Series 1999.

A year later, Austin got his revenge by carrying out the attempted murder of The Game at Survivor Series 2000.

Now, the two were a tag team because that’s how pro wrestling logic works.

Tonight, as our compelling opening video told us, the two would take on The Undertaker and Kane.

This was a pretty good video that played up the Two Man Power Trip aspect of the whole story while glossing over the whole part about Austin and HHH literally trying to kill each other prior to teaming up.

Then, after the obligatory pyro, crowd shots and a greeting from announcers Jim Ross and Paul Heyman, it was on with the show.

The Dudley Boyz (D-Von Dudley, Bubba Ray Dudley, and Spike Dudley) vs. The X-Factor (X-Pac, Albert and Justin Credible)

Throughout tonight’s opening contest, JR constantly tried to get ‘the wizards of the wicked wood,’ over as a new nickname for The Dudleyz. It sounded ridiculous and it’s no surprise that name didn’t stick.

When he wasn’t coming up with goofy names, Ross joined Heyman in calling what was a pretty decent match.

Were this any other bunch of wrestlers, this may not have gone down so well, but The Dudley Boyz were so insanely over that everything they did elicited a huge response from the live audience.

Combine that with the fact that all six men turned up motivated and ready for action and what you had here was a solid opener that came to a close with a win for The X-Factor.
Your Winners: The X-Factor

Post-match, The Dudleyz got their revenge by putting X-Pac through a table.

Speaking of which, here’s something that I’ve noticed on the last several PPVs:

Every time Bubba Ray and D-Von Dudley did the whole ‘D-Von! Get the tables!!’ bit, the tables were never actually got. The other team always stopped them from either setting up the table or putting somebody through it. As such, the table either never came into play at all or else did so only in the post-match shenanigans.

Speaking of shenanigans:

Meanwhile, Backstage...

‘The Duchess of Queensbury’ (a woman in a pompadour) arrived in a limousine with two close protection officers. William Regal was delighted to see her.

Across the arena, Kurt Angle told Lillian Garcia that he owned Chris Benoit and would take him out in their upcoming Ultimate Submission match.

Back in the arena, the announcers told us that Jerry Lynn had defeated Crash Holly for the Light Heavyweight Championship earlier on Heat.

World Wrestling Federation Hardcore Championship
WWF Hardcore Champion Rhyno vs. Raven

Taking the WWF Hardcore division to another level, Rhyno and Raven gave us an awesome brawl that was way better than expected.

In one sense, this was every hardcore match you’ve seen from this time period; the two littered the ring with garbage weapons and proceeded to beat the crap out each other with them.

Yet they did so with such an intensity and with such stiffness that it made the whole thing an exciting match to watch.

After the better part of ten minutes, Rhyno murdered babyface Raven with a gore to retain his belt.
Your Winner and Still Hardcore Champion: Rhyno

Up next, we were taken back to Smackdown where Shane McMahon read an awesome fairytale called ‘Shane & The Beanstalk’ about his rivalry with his dad and, more specifically, his Dad’s hired goon, The Big Show.

Live in the arena, Michael Cole tried to get an interview with Shane but Stephanie McMahon interrupted and tried to get Shane to call off his Last Man Standing match with Show.

Naturally, Shane O’ Mac refused.

More Backstage Buffoonery

Kevin Kelly had better luck than Michael Cole in getting an interview. He interrupted WWF Champion Stone Cold Steve Austin who was strong-arming Debra as they made their way into the arena.

Given the accusations of Austin’s real-life domestic abuse against Debra, that looked pretty uncomfortable.

Anyway, The Texas Rattlesnake told Kelly that there was no way he was losing the WWF title tonight as long as HHH did his part.

Elsewhere, Jonathan Coachman tried to ask the Duchess of Queensberry what the rules were to the match named after her.

Before she could answer, however, William Regal interrupted, thus keeping up the long-standing joke in wrestling that the rules for such a match don’t actually exist.

Duchess of Queensberry Rules Match
William Regal vs. Chris Jericho

These two had met in a decent match at Wrestlemania 17. Since then, Chris Jericho besmirched Regal by peeing in his tea, leading to this match.

Needless to say, this was a quality match even if the whole Duchess of Queensberry stuff did get a little silly.

With Her Majesty herself looking on (even though Her Royal Highness would have been the correct title) Jericho and Regal put on a wrestling clinic for the first half of the match until Y2J looked to get the win with the Lionsault.

Before he could make the cover, however, the Duchess declared that the time had expired on Round 1.

Jericho then made Regal tap to the Walls of Jericho, but she declared that you couldn’t win by submission. Next, Regal blasted his opponent with the Duchess’s scepter, causing her to make it a No DQ match.

Having finally had enough, Jericho threw Her Ladyship into the ring and put the Walls on her, but Commissioner Regal came in, destroyed him with a chair and that was that.

Again, the whole ‘making up the rules on the fly’ stuff got a bit much, but this was otherwise a very good performance.
Your Winner: William Regal

Backstage, Vince McMahon made Big Show promise that he’d hold nothing back against Shane McMahon. Show promised and the two shook hands, both laughing maniacally as this somewhat awkward and slightly cringe-inducing segment came to an end.

We then got a video package featuring shots of Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle making most of the roster tap out, followed by a quick shot of Krispin Wah himself warming up backstage.

He and Angle would go head to head next.

30-Minute Ultimate Submission Match
Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

In case you’re unsure, an Ultimate Submission match was basically a submission-based iron man match.

Before the bell, Angle got himself some heat by insulting Chicago’s most famous figures and promising to make Benoit squeal like a pig.

The match eventually got underway and turned out to be every bit as good as you probably expected.

Regardless of whatever happened away from the ring, Benoit and Angle were two masters of their craft. Here, they proved it by delivering a masterclass of professional wrestling that remained captivating from start to finish.

The two held nothing back as they wrestled each other to a 3-3 draw in the allotted half hour.

Harkening back to Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania 12, the match then went into overtime with sudden death rules applying.

A few more minutes of action followed before Benoit slapped Angle in the crossface to take home the 4-3 victory.
Your Winner: Chris Benoit

Backstage, HHH and Stephanie McMahon were watching Undertaker and Kane have a heated discussion on a television monitor.

The Game thought that The Brothers of Destruction were trying to come up with an excuse for losing to him and Austin, but Steph was more concerned with insisting that her brother Shane was living in a fairytale.

Last Man Standing Match
The Big Show vs. Shane McMahon

If the last match has been as good as expected, this one was certainly better than expected.

Shane and Show had last met on PPV in a street fight back at Judgement Day 2000. That had been OK but a little underwhelming.

This was much better.

Early on, Shane knocked Show out with chloroform, only for Vince to run in and destroy his own son with a chair.

The match continued to the point that Big Show was just toying with Shane O’Mac, letting the referee count him up to right before picking up the WCW owner and chokeslamming him again.

It was at this point that Test put in an appearance, and this is where things got really good.

(I bet that sentence has never been written before).

Test and Show brawled to the entrance. Shane followed and ended up climbing to the top of the structure around the entrance while Test planted Big Show.

Then, in typical Shane McMahon fashion, he plummeted fifty feet to his doom, crash landing on his opponent.

Test helped his former almost-brother-in-law to his feet and this utterly enthralling bit of entertainment was done.
Your Winner: Shane McMahon

Backstage, Vince wrote off Shane and declared that Triple H was his only son.

Meanwhile, over at WWF New York, Steve Blackman started to tell Jim Ross that despite having issues with Shane in the past, he hoped he was OK after that match.

‘I never thought I’d see him do something like that,’ said Blackman, referring to McMahon’s epic leap of faith. That’s funny because Shane pulled an almost identical stunt in their match at Summerslam 2000.

Before he could get much further, Grandmaster Sexay turned up and freaked out in Blackman’s face.

World Wrestling Federation European Championship Triple Threat Match
WWF European Champion Matt Hardy vs. Christian vs. Eddie Guerrero

Although this kind of felt like filler, it was at least pretty entertaining filler.

All three men worked hard to deliver a fast-paced stormer of a match, but who knows how much better it could have been if they’d been given more time to shine.

Edge ran in towards the finish to try and help Christian win, but Jeff Hardy then put in an appearance to even the score.

That allowed Matt Hardy to hit Eddie Guerrero with the match-winning Twist of Fate.
Your Winner and Still European Champion: Matt Hardy

Afterward, we got the eight-thousandth replay of Shane’s big fall.

All Titles on the Line
WWF Intercontinental Champion Triple H (w/ Stephanie McMahon) & WWF Champion Stone Cold Steve Austin WWF Tag Team Champions Kane & The Undertaker

The last time all the titles were on the line was back at In Your House 3: Triple Header when Intercontinental Champion Shawn Michaels and WWF Champion Diesel faced WWF Tag Team Champion Yokozuna and British Bulldog, with the Bulldog standing in for Owen Hart.

Speaking of Michaels, Jim Ross reminded us that if The Game won tonight, he’d be only the second man in history besides HBK to win the WWF title, European Championship, Intercontinental title, and tag team titles.

There were times when it felt as though this really long match was never going to end and there were times when it was so good that you didn’t really want it to end.

At one point, Kane played face-in-peril for six years and it really started to drag, but then just like that the whole thing picked up again and the match got utterly compelling.

Towards the finish, Undertaker and Austin went for a walk through the crowd. Stephanie McMahon tried to help her man but got Kane’s foot in her face.

That brought out Vince McMahon and a sledgehammer. Hunter used it and one three count later we had new tag team champions.
Your Winners and NEW tag team champions: Triple H & Stone Cold Steve Austin

Afterward, the new champions celebrated their hard-fought victory as Backlash 2001 came to a close.

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I may be wrong, but I’m willing to state that Backlash was a fairly flawless show.

Every match was good in its own way, with the Benoit/Angle submission match really standing out as match of the night.

Coming on the back of one of the best Wrestlemanias ever, this was a great time to be a fan.

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Other reviews of 2001 pro wrestling events: 

• WCW Sin
• WWF Royal Rumble 2001
• WCW Superbrawl: Revenge 
• WWF No Way Out 2001
• WCW Greed
• WWF Wrestlemania 17

More Backlash Reviews:

• WWF Backlash 1999
• WWF Backlash 2000

Be the first to catch the latest Retro Pro Wrestling reviews by following on Facebook or Twitter @RetroPWrestling.

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Movie Review: Pro Wrestlers vs. Zombies (2013)

It can't have escaped your attention that it's Halloween next week, which means that if there was ever a good time to review 2013's Pro Wrestlers vs. Zombies, this was it. 

For the unfamiliar, Pro Wrestlers vs. Zombies is an indie horror film written and directed by Cody Knotts and starring, of all people, The Franchise Shane Douglas in a lead role.

If that choice of casting doesn't tell you everything you need to know about this 80s zombie flick throwback, hopefully, this review will.

Of course, despite the fact the whole movie basically revolves around the former ECW Champion, he doesn't even get top billing on the movie poster.

That honour goes to Rowdy Roddy Piper. and quite rightly too.

God Rest his soul, Hot Rod tried his hardest to make this movie into something credible by delivering just about the only decent performance in the entire thing.

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Yet even the guy who started in They Live couldn't rescue what ultimately turned out to be a complete mess of a movie.

*This review contains spoilers*

That's a shame too because, in theory, the over-the-top nature of pro wrestling and zombie movies should have worked well together.

Combining the slapstick dramatics of 'sports entertainment' with the guts and gore of your favourite slasher flicks could have been a riot.

We could have had the likes of Douglas, Piper, and their co-stars (including Matt Hardy, Reby Sky and Hacksaw Jim Duggan, with a brief cameo from Kurt Angle) playing up to their larger-than-life characters, powerbombing zombies into oblivion and engaging in all kinds of hardcore shenanigans with the undead.

It could have been hilarious in the kind of dark, twisted and gory way that some horror movies intentionally are.

Alas, Cody Knotts decided not to go for gross-out humour.

With Pro Wrestlers vs. Zombies, he and a supporting cast of indie jobbers created a movie which  tries to be scary, disgusting, dramatic and emotionally poignant all at the same time but which ultimately fails to be any of those things at all.

The ring is the only place you can kill a man and get away with it 

Totally giving away the first plot point, our movie begins with a screen which informs us that if you want to commit murder, a pro wrestling show is the best place to do it.

Cut to our star, Shane Douglas, backstage at some low-rent indie show.

There, he discovers his girlfriend, Taya Parker, making out with his upcoming opponent, the terribly named Battling Billy.

I'm not certain, but I think this is the same Battling Billy who formed that famous Freebirds-style tag team with Fighting Frankie and Kick Your Ass Kevin.

As The Franchise rages about his partner's betrayal, SoCal Val is seen out in the ring, getting the thinly-sparsed crowd ready for tonight's big match between Douglas and Mr Battling.

Now, I'm not suggesting Knotts has a foot fetish or anything, but there are way too many shots of Val's feet in this opening scene and it's anything but subtle.

In between looking at her feet, we're shown lots of clips of some really fat indie jobbers while the opening credits play.

Eventually, Battling Billy battles Duelling Douglas, with Shane hitting a tombstone on his opponent and actually killing him dead.

Man, even The Undertaker didn't take the gimmick that far.

Cody Knotts - The Worst Business Man in History

Later, Billy's brother Angus (played by indie wrestler Ashton Amherst) visits Cody Knotts himself. Knotts, it seems, isn't only a director, he's also a pro wrestling promoter.

Anyway, Angus hands Cody a big wad of cash and asks to select a couple of wrestlers for a private show.

Cody hands him an envelope with pictures of his roster. From this, Angus picks Taya and a picture of Shane Douglas that looks to be about twenty years old.

"I just want these two," said Angus who, it has to be said, has the worst Scottish accent in history.

Now, if I were Mr Knotts, I'd be thinking I'd gotten a pretty sweet deal here. A guy hands me a huge wad of cash and from this I only have to pay two wrestlers?

Great. More money for me.

Except I'm not Mr Knotts, and I'm glad too, because the real one (or at least the fictional version of the real one) apparently has no business sense whatsoever.

Instead of taking the really sweet deal, he says "I tell you what, you can also take Piper, Hardy, Reby Sky, and a bunch of jobbers so insignificant that the guy from Retro Pro Wrestling won't even bother looking up their names."

I know you're supposed to find yourself shouting at the screen during horror movies, but that's usually when the girl is running through the dark woods to get away from the evil monster, not when a pro wrestling promoter is screwing himself over with terrible business deals.

They're Coming to Get You, Barbara

That isn't the only deal that's made either.

Knotts, revealing himself to be some kind of sex pest, interviews some woman called Sarah for a vague and unspecified job and spends most of the time rubbing up against her. Meanwhile, Angus makes a deal of his own with some demonic figure:

Gain the power to summon hordes of demons at will by killing a woman and eating her heart. To do so, Angus finds a woman at the local hospital by the name of Barbara, fulfilling the legal obligation that every indie horror film has to reference.

Welcome to the Uh-oh Penitentiary

With his new demonic superpowers intact, Angus drives the group of pro wrestlers out to an abandoned prison under the guise of having them take part in a pro wrestling show, only to reveal that it was a rouse the whole time:

He's going to set the zombies on all of them, all because Shane Douglas killed his brother.

It's at this point that the film stops being interesting.

Don't get me wrong, it doesn't stop being bad, but it does stop being interesting.

Once inside the abandoned prison, all of the wrestlers basically spend the rest of the movie running away from the zombies, stopping to fight them for a bit, and then running away again.

I say all of them, Matt Hardy spends most of the time making out wife Reby Sky until he too gets attacked and ends up having what is admittedly the best fight scene in the whole movie.

At first, I wondered why anybody would agree to make this film, then I realised that Matt Hardy got paid to basically make softcore porn with his wife and I suppose that at least makes sense.

At one point, Kurt Angle pops up. He thinks he's been booked to do a surprise run-in at the non-existent wrestling show but like Hardy, Sky, and later Hacksaw Jim Duggan, he too gets devoured and transformed into a zombie.

Speaking of Duggan, it's him you have to feel sorry for the most.

As they're doing the running away part of the run-chase-run thing, Douglas stops and has a heart to heart with Hacksaw, thanking him for his help when he (Douglas) broke into the business 30 years ago.

Then, in the ultimate act of heel-dickery, The Franchise then turns on his friend, running away and locking the door on him, leaving the man and his 2x4 to the mercy of the zombies.

Seriously, what a dick.

Other than that, most of the actual wrestlers vs. zombies part of the movie is all kind of samey. Piper and Sarah get close and tease at a romance despite the fact that he's old enough to be her dad, some spot monkey indie kid does a bunch of flippy stuff, but after you've seen the wrestlers run, then fight, then run away again once, you've basically seen the entire second half of the movie and there's really no reason to keep watching them do it over and over again, especially when Knotts keeps using the same small group of extras as the zombies.

It's all a bit samey and more than a bit terrible which is a shame, because, as I say, Pro Wrestlers vs. Zombies could have been a really fun movie.

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In fact, it even started out fun in a Wrestlecrappy this-is-terrible-lets-laugh-at-it kind of way, but after a while, this just became a chore of a film with almost no redeeming qualities outside of one really hysterical line when Reby Sky suddenly shouts "I WANT YOUR BRAINS!"

If you like your really horrible Halloween films with a touch of pro wrestling, you might enjoy this in a so-bad-its-good way, but otherwise, save yourself an hour and a half of your life.

Otherwise, you'll find yourself sitting there, as I'm sitting here now, hours after the movie is over pondering one serious question:

Was all that worth it just for Shane Douglas?

Other pro wrestling movies you might like:

• No Holds Barred (1989)

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