TV REVIEW: WWE Smackdown: 04/12/09

Hampton, Virginia

Just nine days away from TLC, The Undertaker plans to call out his upcoming opponent, Batista, whilst Jerishow prepare for their TLC match against DX with a match against Cryme Tyme.

Here's what went down.

NOTE: This an archived review written live at the time that WWE Smackdown aired on December 4th, 2009.

I'm archiving all my old reviews and including this one on Retro Pro Wrestling for the sake of prosperity.

R-Truth vs. CM Punk (w/ Luke Gallows)

Wasting no time in getting down to the action tonight, The Straight-Edge Saviour CM Punk battled R-Truth in a good opening contest.

Punk worked over his opponent's arm in the early going, allowing him to dominate the bulk of this entertaining bout before Truth began to make the inevitable comeback. Unfortunately, said comeback was cut-off by Punk's right-hand man, Luke Gallows, leading to a DQ finish.
Your Winner by disqualification: R-Truth

Afterwards, Gallows and Punk continued to annihilate R-Truth and looked rather pleased with themselves as a result.

Kane vs. Mike Knox

Fresh from his brief cameo in the Undertaker/Batista feud, The Big Red Machine locked horns with the infrequently-seen Mike Knox for seemingly no reason.

The match itself was so dull that commentators Matt Striker and Todd Grisham ignored it completely, choosing instead to hype up the Undertaker vs. Batista match at TLC. Kane chokeslammed Knox to end the contest.
Your Winner: Kane

Backstage, Josh Matthews interviewed Unified Tag Team Champions Chris Jericho & The Big Show regarding their match against DX at TLC. Jericho, as strong as ever on the microphone, was the mouthpiece for his team; promising to end DX once and for all at the pay per view and putting over Big Show as a monster in a pretty solid promo.

From the vault: Mark Henry vs. Finlay & Hornswoggle (Smackdown 2007)

Taking a look back to the days when Finlay actually had something do to (even if it was hanging around with that annoying leprechaun) and Mark Henry was a bland babyface, we get this handicap match from November 2007. Henry was defeated when Finlay nailed him with a shelaglah after which Hornswoggle hit the Tadpole Splash for the win. Following the match, The Great Khali arrived on the scene and destroyed Finlay.

Triple Threat match to determine the number one contender to the WWE Women's Championship: Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix vs. Natayla

With Women's Champion Michelle McCool and her BFF Layla hanging out at ringside, their rival Mickie James fought to earn a shot at McCool's belt in a decent match against Natalya and The Glamazon. Mickie was tossed from the ring in the early going, leaving the two blonde grapplers to put on a good show and carry the bulk of the contest.

The end came when Beth hit Nattie with the Glam Slam. James then dropkicked Phoenix out of the ring and stole the pinfall for herself to end an enjoyable bout that surpassed anything we've seen from the Raw girls in a long time.
Your Winner and new number one contender: Mickie James

Afterwards, Mickie James took the microphone from Josh Matthews; vowing not only to take the Women's Championship from Michelle McCool, but also to extract revenge from her and Layla for all the hurtful things they'd done over the last several weeks. James then shoved McCool, but was quickly outnumbered by the champion and Layla.

A returning Maria made the save before she and Mickie celebrated with the crowd.

Rey Mysterio set to return

Backstage in Teddy Long's office, Batista confronts the GM over a challenge laid down by Rey Mysterio. Big Dave agreed to a street fight against the master of the 619 on next week's show, providing his hold-harmless agreement remains intact.

The Animal also complained about The Undertaker's plans to call him out later on the show, but Long insisted he could do nothing about that.

Non-title match: Intercontinental Champion John Morrison vs. Drew McIntyre

In a match he apparently requested, Intercontinental Champion John Morrison took it to Drew McIntyre in the early going, but it was the Sadistic Scot who walked away with a surprise victory after planting JoMo with a Kobashi DDT following several minutes of enjoyable back-and-forth action.
Your Winner: Drew McIntyre

The show returned from a commercial break to find Vickie Guerrero in the ring. Smackdown's consultant was fantastic at riling up the already excitable crowd with her usual 'excuse me!' catchphrase before calling out her former lover, Eric Escobar, and demanding an apology for the way he spoke to her last week.

When Escobar refused, Guerrero booked him in a handicap match against the Hart Dynasty, which begs the question as to when a consultant was granted booking power?

Handicap match: Eric Escobar vs. The Hart Dynasty

Despite his best efforts, Escobar was overpowered and outwrestled by his opponents in a passable outing, with Smith and Kidd picking up the win thanks to the Hart Attack.
Your Winners: The Hart Dynasty

In the post-match, Tyson Kidd brought Vickie Guerrero back to the ring, holding her ex in place whilst she administered a hefty slap to Escobar's chops.

Luke Gallows Speaks

Heading backstage once more, Josh Matthews caught up with CM Punk and Luke Gallows. The man formerly known as Festus told Matthews that his days walking around in a comatose state was as a result of his friends and family pushing pills on him and claims that CM Punk saved him. Furthermore, Gallows hoped that more lost souls could turn their lives around by following the Straightedge lifestyle.

Non-title match: Unified Tag Team Champions Chris Jericho & the Big Show vs. Cryme Tyme (Shad Gaspard & JTG)

As they look to battle DX in a Tables, Ladders & Chairs match at the TLC pay per view next Sunday, Unified Tag Champions Jerishow set their sights a little lower on tonight's show as they clashed with Cryme Tyme in a fairly good main event.

Following a short, explosive exchange of offence between the two teams, Big Show knocked out Shad Gaspard (now sporting short hair, for anyone interested in that kind of thing) with his Big Fist of doom to earn the victory for his team.
Your Winners: Chris Jericho & The Big Show

Having hyped up a confrontation between The Undertaker and Batista all evening, Smackdown heads towards the finish-line with the World Heavyweight Champion making his way to the ring to a thunderous ovation from the Hampton crowd.

Unfortunately for The Dead Man, his entrance was cut-short thanks to a surprise assault from Batista. The Animal attacked the champion from behind with a steel chair, and in a repeat of last week's show, proceeded to decimate him in the ring with more chair shots and a blow to the head with the Big Gold Belt.

Big Dave then posed with both chair and title belt as Smackdown drew to a close.

Final Thoughts: Despite that deathly dull outing from Kane and Knox at the start of the show, tonight's edition of Smackdown was nonetheless very enjoyable. CM Punk vs. R-Truth should probably pick up Match of the Night honours, and I wouldn't be surprised to see a tag team match pitting Punk & Gallows against Truth and Matt Hardy on next week's show (remember, Hardy suffered a similar fate at the hands of Punk & Gallows on last week's show).

Speaking of future booking plans, following Drew McIntyre's victory over John Morrison tonight, can we expect a title match between the two, possibly at TLC? I hope so, and I also hope that Morrison retains whenever they do meet over the gold, even though everything suggests the Scotsman is in for a title reign at some point in the near future.

On the negative side, I complained about it in the report, but I'm struggling to comprehend why Vickie Guerrero, who was hired only to help Teddy Long as a consultant, is suddenly granted the authority to book matches as she pleases.

Remembering Umaga

Over the past weekend, news emerged that Eki 'Eddie' Fatu, who competed in the WWE as recently as this spring as Umaga, had sadly passed away.

Umaga was a talented performer, playing the Big Monster role almost to perfection, and his Royal Rumble 2007 Last Man Standing match for the WWE championship against John Cena remains arguably as one of his career highlights. My thoughts go out to the friends and family of The Samoan Bulldozer.

Read More

TV Review: WWE Raw - August 2nd, 2010

WWE Raw 02/08/10
San Antonia, Texas

With just two weeks before they’re set to do battle against Nexus at Summerslam, tensions between Team WWE reach breaking point. Elsewhere, WWE Champion Sheamus took on Goldust whilst the Celtic Warrior’s newest rival, Randy Orton, battled The Miz in the main event of WWE Raw.

Here’s what went down.

R-Truth confronted Edge

The Rated R Superstar kicked off this week’s show with an in-ring promo in which he lambasted his Summerslam teammates. ‘I don’t respect John Cena, I don’t trust Chris Jericho, I have no faith in The Great Khali and I barely know Morrison and Truth,’ said Edge, before challenging Nexus leader Wade Barrett to a match.

Instead of Barrett, it was R-Truth who made his way to the ring next, squaring up to his partner and urging him to be a team player. If the seven members of Team WWE didn’t work together, claimed truth, Nexus would win.

Before Edge had the chance to respond, Michael Cole received an e-mail from the Raw General Manager, who booked Edge. vs. Wade Barrett for right there and then.

Edge vs. Wade Barrett

Looking to assert his dominance early on, Barrett controlled the bulk of this fairly average contest before Edge fought back in a valiant comeback and set up his foe for a deadly spear.  Barrett however, was saved at the final moments by the arrival of his Nexus cohorts, who chased Edge up into the crowds, throwing the match out.
Result: No contest 

Returning from commercial, Edge confronted John Cena backstage and questioned why he didn’t come to his aid in the previous match. Cena insisted that since Edge had claimed he didn’t want any help, he wasn’t going to give him any. Infuriated, Edge quit WWE’s Summerslam team!

As Edge stormed off, cameras zoomed out to reveal Chris Jericho stood next to Cena. After a back-and-forth argument between the two, Cena accepted Jericho’s challenge for a match later in the show, with the added stipulation that the loser would have to leave Team WWE.

Nexus confront The Great Khali

Still backstage, John Morrison was found talking to The Great Khali and Ranjin Singh. Following some bog-standard Summerslam hype between the three, Morrison left, wishing Khali good luck in his match against Ted Dibiase (booked for later on in the show) as he did so.

With Morrison gone, members of Nexus approached the Punjabi giant and informed him that if he wanted to switch sides, his door was always open.

Eve, Gail Kim and Natalya vs. Jillian, Tamina and WWE Divas Champion, Alicia Fox

As Divas matches go, this one started out pretty good, especially when Natalya tagged in and proved why she’s one of the most underutilised girls on the WWE roster. Unfortunately, things really fell apart during the inevitable ‘All hell breaks loose, everyone fights at the same time’ spot, at which point it got a little bit messy.

To end things, Alicia Fox planted Natalya with an Axe Kick (though to be honest, it looked more like she just sat on the back of Nattie’s head.) for the three count.
Winners: Jillian, Tamina and Alicia

In the post-match, Alicia took to the microphone to boast about being the most dominant Divas Champion ever. Her moment of glory was short lived however, when Melina, in her WWE return, hit the ring and decked the champ

Non-title Match: WWE Champion Sheamus vs. Goldust 

Prior to the opening bell, fans were reminded of last year’s feud between these two in ECW. Back then, Goldust managed to hold his own against then-newcomer, Sheamus. A year on, and things are very much different. With Goldust still meandering at jobber level, the Irishman is now your WWE Champion, and oh how that showed in this match

Sheamus battered his former enemy from pillar-to-post in a short, brutal, eventually picking up the win with the Celtic Cross.
Your Winner: Sheamus

‘Oh, what a difference a year makes,’ grinned Sheamus in his post-match promo, going on to hype his WWE Championship match against Randy Orton at Summerslam. This was a good, perhaps even underrated piece of work by the WWE, cleverly showing Sheamus’ rapid rise to the top of the WWE hierarchy.

Chris Jericho vs. John Cena (winner must leave WWE’s Summerslam team)

Though hardly the greatest match ever, this was nonetheless a decent outing from the pair, with Jericho dominating the bulk of the battle, Cena gearing up for his signature spots and eventually making the inevitable comeback; Jericho quickly tapping to the STF before his opponent had even locked it in properly.
Your Winner: John Cena

As per the stipulation, Cena’s victory meant Jericho would have to leave Team WWE. Instead, Cena took the microphone and urged his foe to stay on the team. Jericho looked to be contemplating doing so for a spell, before shaking his head and walking off backstage to a chorus of boos.

Jericho and Edge reunite

Backstage, Edge congratulated Jericho on walking out of Team WWE. Returning the compliment, Jericho offered his respect to Edge for quitting the team earlier in the show. The two then eventually agreed to put their differences behind them and, with a handshake and a manly hug, vowed to work together.

Another e-mail from the GM then came in, informing the Canadian duo that they’d be facing John Cena and Bret Hart in a tag match on next week’s show.

Before the next match, we got a look at the new trailer for John Cena’s new movie, Legendary. It looks terrible.

The Great Khali vs. Ted Dibiase

Yeah, this happened. It was neither good nor bad, and ended with Wade Barrett and Skip Sheffield distracting Dibiase, allowing Khali to pick up the win.
Your Winner: The Great Khali

In a pre-taped segment, Will Farrell and Mark Wahlberg hyped their new movie before The Bella Twins arrived and urged Farrell to ‘get some coffee’ with them. He politely declined, and that was pretty much the end of that. Much like the last match, it was just one of those things that happened and was neither here nor there.

---

Non-title Match: United States Champion The Miz vs. Randy Orton

Tonight’s main event began with a pre-match promo from The Miz, who took to the microphone and vowed that he would unquestionably become WWE Champion, sooner rather than later.

Unfortunately for The Miz, the number one contender for the title, Randy Orton, had other ideas. The two had a heated contest between the two in which Mr. Money in the Bank more than held his own against verified main-eventer, Orton.

Yet despite looking for all the world like he belonged in the upper-echelons of the WWE, tonight was not to be Miz’s night. Following an enjoyable scrap, The Viper struck with the RKO to earn the win.
Your Winner: Randy Orton

After the match, Sheamus ran to the ring for an intense staredown with his upcoming Summerslam opponent as WWE Raw faded to black.

Final Thoughts: 
Though this wasn’t the greatest show ever in terms of unexpected surprises, monumental events and outstanding matches, it was, in this writer’s mind at least, very smartly and solidly booked.

Though I’m a bit disappointed that the Edge/Jericho Union was somewhat downplayed, it does add an interesting component to future WWE storylines, and certainly, makes the build up to Summerslam more interesting.

Sheamus’ match against Goldust was very well done. Again, it was hardly spectacular from an in-ring standpoint, but by referencing their history together, it served well to remind fans of how the Celtic Warrior battered his way to the top of the company in such a short time.

Booking The Miz in the main event, and having him look equal to Randy Orton was another smart move, allowing the US Champion to prove that he can handle performing at that level, and getting fans used to an eventual main event push for the Awesome One.

Read More

TV REVIEW: WWE SMACKDOWN - September 25th, 2009

September 25th, 2009 
Tulsa, Oklahoma

**This is a WWE Smackdown review that I wrote live at the time in 2009 during the run up to that year's Hell in a Cell pay per view*

CM Punk Speaks

Hoping to get the Tulsa crowd riled up and ready for action, WWE send out the hottest heel in the company, CM Punk to do the job (not the job). And a fine job he does too; goading the audience about their alleged substance abuse and running over a list of his accomplishments to a thunderous chorus of boos. After demanding that someone in a position of authority comes down to give him some respect, Punk is instead confronted by a small army of druids who proceed to wheel a coffin to ringside accompanied by eeiry music.

Naturally, Punk acts scared and proceeds to bash the closed casket with a steel chair, expecting The Undertaker to surface. Yet when the Dead Man does not cometh, the World Heavyweight Champion makes the brave move of opening the coffin, only to find a bound and gagged Teddy Long inside.

Finally getting free, Long grabs a microphone and declares that, effective immediately, Taker's 'Hells Gate' submission hold is no longer banned and that, not only will The Phenom be able to use it when he battles Punk for the title at Hell in a Cell, but also when the two meet tonight in a non-title main event.

A good, solid segment to get things under way then.

Tag Match: Intercontinental Champion John Morrison and Finlay vs. Mike Knox and Dolph Ziggler 

As two of the hottest feuds on the Smackdown undercard collide in an entertaining, well-paced opening match, Knox and Ziggler work well to cut the ring in half and isolate Finlay from his corner right from the opening bell. It's a good strategy by the villans  which ensures that the inevitable hot-tag to Morrison drives the crowd wild.

Despite dominating most of the contest, a well-placed shillelagh shot to Knox's head by Finlay, followed by the always impressive Starship Pain from Morrison is enough to earn the win for the good guys.
Your Winners: John Morrison & Finlay 

Out in the back, Eve and her boys Cryme Tyme seem to be warming to the pesky Slam Master Jay and even allow him to take an initiation of sorts; handing him a spray can and telling him to take care of it, and that's as much as your writer gets to see.

Now apparently, what happened next was that Jay defaced Teddy Long's office, annoyed the GM and got himself booked in a match with Kane. For reasons I can't quite explain to you, dear reader, this bit was missing from the UK version of the show so when we head back to ringside, the next match doesn't seem to make much sense.

Slam Master Jay vs. Kane

Luckily, us Brits don't have to sit through something which doesn't make sense for very long as The Big Red Machine makes light work of the hip-hop homeboy, taking him out with a chokeslam in about two minutes.

In the back, Cryme Tyme are dissapointed.
Your Winner: Kane

Vince McMahon arrives at the arena. Before making his way to the ring, the Chairman is stopped by CM Punk, still angry at the announcement made earlier in the show. With little sympathy, Vinny Mac tells the champ he should have thought about the consequences of his actions.

In the ring, a jovial McMahon is an absolute riot. After insulting the crowd, he hypes next week's Ten Year Anniversary of Smackdown show, before singing the praises of one Drew McIntyre. Big things must be on the cards for the Angry Scot if he's getting the personal hype from McMahon himself.

Eliciting deafening 'USA! USA!' chants from the audience, McIntyre cuts a convincing promo as he lets us know that, from now on, Smackdown is all about him.

Not surprisingly, R-Truth finally makes his way to the ring, looking to extract some revenge for the recent spate of attacks he's suffered at the hands of McIntyre. Somewhat comically, despite being very angry, Truth still delivers his usual rap on the way to the ring.

It's worth noting that, even though he doesn't use it very long, or very often, Truth is great on the microphone. He quickly drops it and heads into the ring for a quick brawl that gets broken up by the refs.

This is shaping up to be an entertaining feud, and it should be interesting to see where it goes next.

Unified Tag Team Champion The Big Show (with Chris Jericho) vs. Batista

It is often said that the only entertaining part of any Batista match is the entrance, and whilst there is usually some truth in that, 'The Animal' at least manages to have a half-decent bout with 'The World's Largest Athlete'.

This is far from the greatest match you'll ever see, but it's at the least an entertaining psychological battle of the big men. Of course, it certainly helps that Chris Jericho is wonderful in his role as what can only be described as Big Show's manager, and the former Y2J's banter with commentator Jim Ross is nothing short of hilarious.

After fighting his way back from a vicious assault at the hands of his opponent, Batista stupidly attempts a Batista Bomb. Show counters with a chokeslam attempt, but Big Dave locks on an ankle lock. This causes Jericho to race to his partner's aid, only to recieve an ankle lock of his own.

And as Jericho frantically taps you have to believe that, somewhere in America, Ken Shamrock is nodding on with approval.
Your Winner via Disqualification: Batista

Up next, we get a video recap of the recent shenanigans between CM Punk, Teddy Long and The Undertaker. What's annoying about this is that Long still hasn't explained what's so wrong with Undertaker being champions.

Moving to Teddy Long's office, a visiting Vince McMahon demands to see his portrait. Despite Long's protests, the GM is forced to show the boss his picture. Wouldn't you know it, it's been vandalised by Slam Master Jay. Well, you have to credit to the Smackdown writers for turning a seemingly inconsequential segment earlier in the show into a big plot-point in the ongoing saga between McMahon and Long.

From the Vault: Cruiserweight Championship: Hurricane defends against Chavo Guerrero (Smackdown 2002)

Back in the days before Chavo Guerrero became the proverbial laughing stock of the WWE, he was actually a pretty awesome cruiserweight wrestler, and in this terrific bout from 2002 against The Hurricane, we're reminded of just how good Hornswoggle's arch-rival could be.

Following a superb display of speed and agility, Hurricane retains the title.
Your Winner: Hurricane

Coming back from the break, we're shown a funny clip of The Miz and John Morrison on 'Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader' which, of course, is America's answer to that 'Are You Smarter than a 10 Year-old' programme Noel Edmonds hosts over here. It has no bearing on tonight's show, but it's worth mentioning anyway, especially since Jeff Foxworthy is the host and your writer is big fan of the man's stand-up.

Getting back to more important things, we have a match on our hands.

JTG vs. David Hart Smith

Backed up by their partners and valets; JTG by Eve and Shad and Smith by Tyson Kidd and Natayla, both men into a short, spirited performance, with the son of Wigan's own British Bulldog taking the early advantage.

JTG makes a brief comeback, yet thanks to some interference by Nattie and Kidd, it's David Hart Smith who not only walks away with the win, but also proceeds to show more charisma than he ever has since being called up to the main event.
Your Winner: David Hart Smith

In the back, Josh Matthews interviews Batista. Big Dave announces that he'll be teaming up with Rey Mysterio to challenge Chris Jericho and Big Show for the Unified Tag Team Titles at Hell in a Cell.

Non-Title Match: World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk vs. The Undertaker

With twenty minutes remaining before the show ends, 'The Demon of Death Valley' takes several millennia to get to the ring. Not that you can blame him at this stage of his career. It's no secret that after years of service, The Dead Man's body just ain't what it used to be, and if anyone deserves to get a huge reaction without running himself ragged in the ring, it's The Undertaker.

Yet that doesn't seem to stop the former 'Mean Mark' from performing in a good main event as he catches the ever-cocky Punk in the corner and proceeds to pick him apart. Taker looks slow, and not quite his usual self, but he still manages to garner huge cheers from the crowd for every heavy blow delivered to the body of the seriously overpowered champion.

Eventually, Punk manages to turn things around with a hard-hitting top-rope vertical suplex and quickly starts to wear down his adversary with a headscissors.

From there, things really start to get interesting, until Punk manages to escape the Hell's Gate and escape to the outside only to be followed to the outside by Undertaker. With the referee's count drawing ever closer to ten, the champion dives into the ring to win the contest by a whisker.
Your Winner via Count Out: CM Punk

As Punk celebrates, Undertaker looks on annoyed and Smackdown comes to an end.

Final Thoughts: It's becoming more and more difficult to say anything other than "another good show from the blue brand," but say it I must. For whilst this wasn't the best show the Friday night crew have produced this year, it was still nonetheless an entertaining two hours.

---

The only thing that's really bugging me is the current feud between CM Punk and The Undertaker. When Jeff Hardy left the company after Summerslam, it didn't take a genius to work out that The Dead Man would likely be the next person to step up and challenge Punk for the World Heavyweight Championship. It could have been so brilliant too, had they just kept the story of the plucky champion finding cheap ways to hang on to his title whilst the clearly superior challenger grows more frustrated with every loss, but when you throw in the whole 'Montreal Revisited' angle with Teddy Long, it all becomes a little too much.

Why did Teddy feel the need to keep the belt away from The Undertaker? How was his job likely to be at stake if he didn't? Such things remain unanswered and, to me at least, seem to be really diluting what could have otherwise been a terrific feud.

Read More