Mega Powers Running Wild!

The legendary 'Macho man' Randy Savage teams up with 'The Immortal' Hulk Hogan to take on Ted Dibiase and Andre The Giant in the first ever WWF Summerslam!

Shawn Micahels vs. Mankind

The Heartbreak Kid defends the WWF Championship against Mankind in a thrilling main event at WWF In Your House: Mind Games.

The Birth of the nWo

From Hulk Hogan's shocking turn at WCW Bash at the Beach 1996 to the addition of Ted Dibiase, THe Giant Syxx and more, relive the very beginning of the New World Order.

Austin 3:16 Says I Just Kicked Your Ass

It's one of the most famous promos of all time; Stone Cold Steve Austin wins the 1996 King of The Ring and serves notice on all the WWF superstars. Check it out in our complete review

Wrestlemania 12 Review

The boyhood dream comes true as Shawn Michaels battles champion Bret 'The Hitman' Hart in a classic 1-hour iron man match. Plus, Diesel vs. Undertaker and more.

WCW Fall Brawl 1996 Review

Was Sting in cahoots with the New World Order? Would Lex Luger be able to get along with the Four Horsemen as they faced the nWo in War Games? Find out in this review

Showing posts with label Major Gunns. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Major Gunns. Show all posts

Thursday, 14 May 2020

PPV REVIEW: WCW Fall Brawl 2000

September 17, 2000 
HSBC Arena in Buffalo, New York

The interesting thing about reviewing World Championship Wrestling pay per views from the year 2000 is that you occasionally remember you're reviewing the last ever edition of a particular event.


Such is the case tonight, when it occurs to me that this particular show was the final outing for WCW Fall Brawl, an event which began life as a Clash of the Champions special back in 1988, and had been its own distinctive PPV since 1993.

This was a show that had given us The Shockmaster back in '93.

This was a show that had given us a War Games match every year until 1999.

This was a show that had given us countless matches, some good (Benoit vs. Jericho) and some terrible (Jim Duggan vs. Berlyn) and now, ladies and gentlemen, it was all over.

Join me, as we head to Buffalo, New York for Fall Brawl's final fling.






Let's Play With Wrestling Figures

In an attempt to put over just how serious and intense tonight's main rivalries were, our opening video package interspersed real-life footage of the Scott Steiner/Goldberg and Kevin Nash/Booker T feuds with clips of each man's respective action figures.

This took us down into the arena for our opening pyro and a welcome from the ever-present Tony Schiavone. Along with his usual colleagues Scott Hudson and Mark Madden, Schiavone was hyped for tonight's show and ready to call the action.

World Championship Wrestling World Cruiserweight 100 Kilograms & Under Championship
Kwee-Wee (w/ Paisley) vs. Elix Skipper (w/ Major Gunns)

Major Gunns was apparently a reluctant member of Team Canada.

She spent most of her time on the outside looking gorgeous and actively rooting against Elix Skipper, encouraging the crowd to chant "USA! USA!" as the 100 Kilograms & Under Champion gave us a spirited performance.

Though this old-school fan still pines for the days when Rey Mysterio Jr, Psicosis, Juventud Guerrera and Dean Malenko were the heart and soul of the cruiserweight division, I have to admit that this was a very good effort from Skipper and Kwee Wee, both of whom were making their WCW PPV.

Towards the end of this enjoyable back-and-forth battle, Kwee Wee was attacked by Mike Sanders (remember him?) but that wasn't quite enough to put him away.

A short time later, however, Skipper hit his sweet-looking "Overdrive" finishing move to retain the gold.
Your Winner and Still Cruiserweight Champion: Elix Skipper

After a little banter from our announce team, it was straight onto the second match of the evening.

3 Count (Shannon Moore, Shane Helms, and Evan Karagious) vs. The Misfits in Action (Lieutenant Loco, Corporal Cajun, and Sgt. Awol)

Sgt. Awol was the new MIA recruit formerly known as The Wall. If you need a refresher, Leuitanant Loco was Chavo Guerrero and Corporal Cajun was Lash Larox.

This match was awesome. Sure, it wasn't an all-time classic, but then not every match has to be. This was supposed to be a fun, undercard filler match, and to that it absolutely delivered.

Entertaining from first to last, this came to a head when Corporal Cajun caught Shane Helms coming off the top rope, hit him with a tiger bomb and won what was probably the best match each participant had been involved in up to that point in their career.
Your Winners: The Misfits in Action

Backstage, Jeff Jarrett and Scott Steiner refused to give a little kid an autograph. Kevin Nash considered it, but when the kid revealed he could only pay $1.50, Big Sexy also declined and suggested the kid buy a soda.

Get it, because they were DIRTY, NO GOOD BAD GUYS!

First Blood Chain Match Match
The Harris Brothers (Ron & Don Harris) vs. Kronik (Brian Adams and Bryan Clarke)

The Harris Brothers had returned to WCW at the previous month's New Blood Rising and attacked Kronik, leading to tonight's match.

The encounter was initially billed as a chain match, but when Kronik hit the ring, Brian Adams challenged Ron and Don to a first blood match and it was apparently accepted.

Don was then chained to Adams while Bryan Clarke was linked to Ron Harris for what turned out to be a slightly-better-than-expected hoss brawl.

Though nothing special happened, it was a wild and out of control that didn't suck half as much as anything involving The Harris Brothers usually did.

At one point, Ron Harris got busted open but the referee had taken a tumble.

When he came to, the first thing he saw was Brian Adams bleeding and thus the bell was called for.
Your Winners: The Harris Brothers

Post-match, Adams and Clarke saw off the twins and got their revenge on Billy Silverman by hitting him with High Times

Bringing the US Title Back Home

Backstage, Pamela Paulshock and her boobs interviewed General Rection about his US title match with Lance Storm.

Flanked by the rest of the Misfits in Action (sans Major Gunns), Rection vowed to beat Lance and bring both Gunns and the US title back home to the stages. He also dedicated the match to his "friend and mentor," Hacksaw Jim Duggan.

On cue, Duggan himself arrived on the scene and announced that The Cat had made him the special enforcer for the match. If you didn't watch this segment and immediately smell a Hacksaw heel turn brewing, you've clearly never watched pro wrestling.

World Championship Wrestling United States Canadian Champion Lance Storm (w/ Major Gunns) vs. General Rection

Special enforcer: Hacksaw Jim Duggan

If he could be serious for a moment, Lance Storm expressed his disbelief that everybody in the audience hadn't already packed up and moved to Canada, but was sure that they would do after he beat Rection on tonight's show.

Following the obligatory playing of the Canadian National Anthem, a trim-looking General Rection made his way out for what was surely the best match of his career.

Yes, I know I said the exact same thing about the other members of MIA earlier, but this really was a good match that proved the former Hugh Morrus was capable of being taken seriously, if not as a main eventer, then at least as a solid, mid-upper-mid star.

Or at least he could have been if he hadn't been named after a boner.

After a good match, Hacksaw predictably turned heel and levelled Rection with the 2x4. Lance applied the Canadian Mapleleaf and this one was over.
Your Winner and Still US Champion: Lance Storm

Afterwards, Duggan tore off his referee t-shirt to reveal a Canadian flag t-shirt underneath and proceeded to beat up the rest of Misfits in Action.

Rather than responding to Duggan's treachery with the loud chorus of boos he and the WCW Braintrust had been hoping for, the crowd merely looked on in silence.

This wasn't shocked, stunned "Brock just beat the streak" silence. This was more like "well, yeah, we saw that coming and it was kind of dumb and we don't want to react silence."

Seriously. This was Hacksaw Jim Duggan. At this stage of the game, nobody wanted to boo him.

Mean Gene is a Bad Ass

Out in the back, Mean Gene Okerlund interviewed Mike Sanders and The Natural Born Thrillers, and he wasn't taking any crap from them.

Okerlund called Sanders a 'prick' then told Palumbo and O'Haire to blow it out of their ass when they threatened to beat him up.

For his part, Sanders cut a compelling promo about how it was the young guy's time to shine, but really, it was Okerlund who was the star of the show here.

Outside the arena, The Natural Born Thrillers' opponents, The Filthy Animals, emerged from a limousine with a mystery partner, a big-looking dude with a towel over his head to hide his identity.

The crew, along with their other partner, Big Vio, made their way out to the entranceway, where they revealed that the big guy was none other than Mr Wonderful Paul Orndorff.

This wasn't as random as it might seem at first. Orndorff was the lead trainer at the WCW Power Plant and therefore had played a part in training The Natural Born Thrillers.

Plus, this was New York, were Orndorff had been a major star thanks to his rivalry with Hulk Hogan.

Seven vs. Seven Elimination Match
The Natural Born Thrillers (Mark Jindrak, Sean O'Haire, Chuck Palumbo, Reno, and Johnny The Bull, Mike Sanders, and Shawn Stasiak) vs. The Filthy Animals (Konnan, Rey Mysterio Jr., Juventud Guerrera, Disco Inferno, Big Vito, Paul Orndorff and Tygress)

For the most part, this was a really good match. Fast-paced and hard-hitting, the right decision was made to have The Natural Born Thrillers eliminate the majority of The Filthy Animals and look pretty dominant in the process.

Things then took a nasty turn when, with only he and Rey Mysterio Jr. left, Mr Wonderful made the hot tag.

Looking really old but also in tremendous shape, the legendary grappler took his proteges to school, avoiding almost all of their offence and kicking their asses all over the ring. He even got a three count on Johnny The Bull after landing his trademark piledriver to a huge ovation.

When he tried a second piledriver on Sean O'Haire, however, something went awry and Orndorff hurt himself, re-aggravating an old neck injury and lying motionless in the middle of the ring.

Improvising, Rey and Tygress took the fight to the Natural Born Thrillers as referees and EMTs rushed the ring to check on Orndorff. That led to Charles Robinson throwing the whole thing out.
No Contest

As he was stretchered out, the crowd gave Orndorff a respectful standing ovation. Up until his nasty injury, that had been a tremendous match.

Torrie Wilson is a Bitch

Backstage, Pamela Paulshock told Billy Kidman that he would be competing against one of the most dangerous match types ever, a Pittsburg Plunge Scaffold Match. She meant 'competing in,' of course, but there you go.

Offering a response, Kidman and his new ally, Madusa cut a largely terrible and cringe-inducing promo which mainly consisted of them both calling Torrie Wilson a bitch several times and Madusa promising to "demoralise" her.

Demoralise: To make someone lose hope or confidence.

Yeah Torrie, you better watch out. Madusa isn't going to physically hurt you, but she will damage your self-esteem.

Pittsburg Plunge Scaffold Match
Shane Douglas & Torrie Wilson vs. Billy Kidman & Madusa

Before the match, Shane Douglas took to the microphone to insist that it was actually Madusa who was the bitch. He then proceeded to outline the rules for us:

You win if you can reach your opponent's side of the raised platform and climb down a ladder.

Douglas was all bold and confident when he and Torrie were on the ground, but as soon as they got on the platform and it started to rise, he remembered he was a heel and started to act all scared and cowardly.

The match itself was about as good as every scaffold match you've ever seen, not very.

Madusa and Torrie almost immediately made it to their opposing sides, but instead of racing down the ladder to win the match, they both just kind of loitered around while Kidman and Douglas tried to have some kind of a wrestling match 20 ft in the air.

Eventually, Douglas knocked Madusa off the ladder and threw Kidman off the platform for the obligatory high spots, then allowed Torrie to climb down the ladder and win the match for their team.

This was not good.
Your Winners: Shane Douglas and Torrie Wilson

Out in the back, a fired-up Sting was looking forward to settling old scores with both The Great Muta and Vampiro in their upcoming triple threat match, but he was more looking forward to his guaranteed title shot on the following night's Nitro, and to once again having the world title around his waist.

Before he could finish speaking, The Icon was attacked by Jeff Jarrett, who wanted the title shot for himself and whom that potty-mouthed Gene Okerlund called a "bastard."

Mike Tenay Visits David Flair at Home

In a pre-recorded skit, Mike Tenay visited David Flair to ask him how his mental state was after it was revealed he wasn't the father of Stacy Kiebler's baby.

Tenay knocked on Flair's front door, gave him practically no time to answer, then knocked again, and again.

Finally, Flair appeared.

"Are you by yourself?" asked David.
"I'm all alone," lied Tenay, who clearly had a camera crew with him.

Once inside the house, it was revealed that Flair wasn't having a good time. His house was trashed, with newspapers strewn everywhere, discarded pizzas, beer bottles and lots of cigarette butts.

David himself was also a mess, sitting on the sofa in a state of numbness which was only broken by the occasional paranoid burst as he lept up to the window to look out for the real father of his baby.

Ignoring all of this, Mike Tenay decided it was more important to batter Flair with questions about who Kiebler's baby daddy might be rather than getting the young, deeply troubled man some help.

"Your father questioned my journalist integrity," Tenay told David.

Yeah? After this, I'm starting to question it too, Mike.

While all of this was largely awful, it did get funny at the end. David spotted the mailman and, like a dog on the attack, ran out and clotheslined the unsuspected man on the lawn before putting him in a figure-four.

I can't tell you why, but that last bit was hilarious.

Triple Threat Match
Vampiro (w/ The Insane Clown Possee) vs. The Great Muta vs. Sting

If you were ever going to watch a match on mute, this one would be it. Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J sent Tony Schiavone and Scott Hudson packing so that they could do commentary with Mark Madden. The duo spent the entire match rambling on about nothing.

It was as bad as it sounds.

The match itself wasn't that bad, but it was incredibly predictable.

Vampiro and The Great Muta were technically still teammates in The Dark Carnival but had apparently been having some dissension as of late. They started the match working together, but the fact that they'd eventually turn on one another was obvious from the start.

When the predictable happened, Sting took the advantage, battering everyone in sight with his trusty baseball bat before hitting a Scorpion Death Drop to win the match.
Your Winner: Sting

Afterwards, Vampiro and the ICP tried to attack Muta, but his long-time nemesis Sting pulled him out of harm's way.

What you talkin' 'bout, Mike?


Out in the back, Mike Awesome stepped off a retro bus in a complete 1970s outfit. Apparently, adopting a retro 70s gimmick meant that the former ECW star was no longer only attracted to fat women.

Back at Bash at the Beach 2000, Awesome had dismissed Pamela Paulshock as being nowhere near as attractive as a large BBW he was talking to. Tonight, however, he appeared to have come to his senses and asked the beauty if she wanted to go and 'make whoopee' with him.

He wasn't the only one who had the hots for Paulshock. That 70s Guy hinted that he had a "huge surprise" - the joke being that the surprise was diminutive actor, Garry Coleman.

Comically, Awesome said that Diff'rent Strokes was his favourite TV show from the 70s, only for Coleman to remind him that the show had mostly aired in the 1980s. He too then confessed to having a thing for Paulshock before walking off, leading to this great line from Mark Madden:

"Pamela Paulshock's breasts are bigger than Garry Coleman's whole body."

Ladies and gentlemen, that's the first thing Madden ever said that was actually funny.

Bunkhouse Brawl
Jeff Jarrett vs. Mike Awesome

Remember that old-school gimmick when wrestlers competing in no DQ brawls would sell the seriousness of the occasion by wearing street clothes?

Jeff Jarrett did and came ready for combat in jeans and. Tennessee Titans shirt, the latter of which was mostly used to raise the ire of several Buffalo Bills football players sitting at ringside.

Further annoying them, Jarrett took to the microphone for the classic ‘insult the local sports team’ promo. This would have been fine and pretty effective if the veteran performer hadn’t rambled on for several minutes.

A quick dig at the sports team, sure, but a long, drawn-out promo? There was no need for it and by the end, the crowd looked more bored than angry.

Fortunately, the match itself was much better.

Nobody had given Mike Awesome the memo shout wearing street clothes, so he wrestles this captivating brawl in his regular wrestling attire.

After a very good match, this one turned into Jeff Jarrett vs. Everybody in the World.

The Buffalo Bills players surrounded the ring and pushed Jarrett about a bit. When their help proved not enough to keep Jarrett down, Garry Coleman ran out but got smashed over the head with a guitar bigger than he was.

Finally, Sting came out to get revenge for Jarrett’s earlier attack. He planted his rival with the Scorpion Death Drop which was enough for Awesome to get the cover, the count, and the fall.
Your Winner: Mike Awesome

Our pre-match video package for the next contest told us that Goldberg had beaten up Midajah and put her through a table, so Scott Steiner retaliated by kidnapping Goldberg’s girlfriend because apparently real men settle their differences by abusing women.

This led to a backstage promo in which Steiner ranted to Mean Gene about he was a ‘loaded sex pistol ready to explode’ and that yes, he would kick Bill’s head in tonight.

Scott Steiner (w/ Midajah & Vince Russo) vs. Goldberg

Steiner wore a protective mask after getting his face caved in with a lead pipe by Goldberg on Nitro.

To retaliate, Midajah and her new boob job came out halfway through the match brandishing a lead pipe for Steiner to use on Goldberg.

Later, Vince Russo also came out to attack Goldberg, but his chest didn’t look half as good as Midajah’s.

With the odds stacked so heavily against him, Goldberg naturally lost, getting knocked unconscious and being declared out of it when Scotty slapped on the Steiner Recliner.

Before that, this was a pretty decent, hard-hitting big man match.
Your Winner: Scott Steiner

Afterwards, Russo ripped his slap nuts T-shirt off and stood over Goldberg in a pose. Say what you want about him, that was pretty funny.

Once the heels left, the Buffalo Bills once again crossed the guard rail to help Goldberg up.

A commercial for the following month’s Halloween Havoc followed, promising us that Sting was going to change into something amazing and groundbreaking at the show.

I can’t remember anything about Halloween Havoc 2000, but I’m willing to bet this idea was dropped and Sting didn’t change into anything.

Don’t Hate the Player, Hate The Game

That video was followed by a second which showed us how Kevin Nash had turned heel on Booker T and stole the WCW Championship thanks to shenanigans from the evil special guest referee, Jeff Jarrett.

In a backstage interview with Mean Gene, an amped-up Booker T swore revenge and promised to reclaim the title.

He finishes the promo with his new catchphrase, don’t hate the player, hate the game. Presumedly, this was Booker’s way of sewing the seeds for a feud with Triple H years later.

World Championship Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship Cage Match
WCW World Heavyweight Champion Kevin Nash vs. Booker T

Though it wasn’t exactly bad, nothing about this match felt like it was anything special.

Even the added attraction of a steel cage added nothing, and instead felt unnecessary.

Coming across like the sort of thing you might see killing ten minutes on Nitro, this mediocre match ended when Booker hit the Book End to reclaim the gold.
Your Winner and NEW WCW World Heavyweight Champion: Booker T

And that, dear readers, was that.







Featuring several matches which ranged from decent to good, Fall Brawl 2000 was one of the best WCW shows of that year.

That’s not to say it was anything outstanding, but at this stage, not completely sucking was a huge achievement for World Championship Wrestling.

Though there was nothing that was must-see viewing, if you’re looking for a WCW 2000 show that isn’t completely awful, this is it.



For other year 2000 pro wrestling reviews see:
Other WCW Fall Brawl reviews:
Be the first to catch the latest Retro Pro Wrestling reviews by following on Facebook or Twitter @RetroPWrestling.

Thursday, 23 April 2020

PPV REVIEW: WCW New Blood Rising 2000

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 - Event poster
August 13, 2000
Pacific Coliseum, Vancouver, British Columbia.

On April 10th, 2000, Vince Russo and Eric Bischoff returned to World Championship Wrestling and immediately set about instigating a reboot of the entire company.

Storylines were scrapped, all the titles were declared vacant, and war was declared on the wrestlers who had been hogging WCW's main event scene for the last couple of years.

Stars like Hulk Hogan, Kevin Nash, Sting, Lex Luger, Diamond Dallas Page and Ric Flair were all supposed to be the heels, the guys you'd want to see getting their asses kicked by a gang of young and hungry performers called The New Blood.

Like many things in WCW, it didn't work. Fans routinely cheered for The Millionaire's Club (Hogan et al.) and rooted for them to kick some New Blood ass.

Realizing they'd got it wrong, the WCW brain trust let the whole thing drizzle out in about a month or two.







So, totally ignoring the fact that The New Blood had already risen, peaked, and fallen again, the company looked to replace their now-defunct Road Wild brand with this, New Blood Rising 2000.

Let's head down to Canada and relive what happened, shall we?

Let’s Get Down to Business

We began New Blood Rising with the obligatory video package, this one focussing on the main event rivalry between WCW Champion Booker T and the man he beat for that title, Jeff Jarrett.

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 - Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone, and Mark Madden called the event
This feud could be summed up thus:

Booker T cut a promo in which he said ‘let’s get down to business,’ and talked seriously about being a legitimate champion who would never relinquish the belt to Double J.

In response, Jarrett just said the word ‘slapnuts’ a lot and hit a bunch of people with guitars.

We then went live to the arena for the first WCW PPV to emanate from Canada since the previous year’s WCW Mayhem.

Tony Schiavone then welcomed us to the show with his usual hyperbolic introduction before sending to the ring for our opening contest.

Fair’s fair, you’d never guess that this was a company less than a year away from folding.

Everything about the presentation suggested that this was a big deal.

At least it did until Tank Abbott came down and started dancing with Three Count.

Six-Man Ladder Match
3 Count (‘Sugar’ Shane Helms, Evan Karagious, and Shannon Moore w/ Tank Abbott) vs. The Jung Dragons

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 - Tank Abbott dances with Three Count
It got worse. Abbott wore a 3 Count t-shirt with the nipples cut out. There he stood, nipples out, dancing and cheering on 3 Count as they engaged in a match that could have been so much better without the stipulation.

Had they just kept this as a six-man cruiserweight match, we might have had a fast-paced, high-flying outing which, though it may not have been a classic, would have proved to be a suitable opener.

Alas, this was WCW, so they had to ruin things by making it a gimmick match.

That gimmick was that 3 Count’s gold record was hanging above the ring along with a contract. If 3 Count got the contract, it was business as usual for WCW’s resident boy band.

If The Jung Dragons got it, however, then Shane Helms, Shannon Moore, and Evan Karagious could never sing again.

The problem here wasn’t so much that the gimmick was silly (though it was), it was that the two inexperienced teams clearly weren’t ready to structure this kind of match.

Despite a few good spots, the whole thing came off as a sloppy, uncoordinated mess.

At various points, members of The Jung Dragons would scale the top of the ladder, remember that they weren’t supposed to win, and then just kind of stand there, obviously waiting for a member of 3 Count to get into position and knock them off the ladder.

Eventually, 3 Count retrieved the contract and, since they already had the gold record after Abbott stole it from the Dragons, that meant they won the match.

This was not good at all.
Your Winners: The Jung Dragons

Afterwards, Tank Abbott and his exposed nipples ran off with 3 Count’s contract and gold record, leaving the three men confused.

Word to Yo’ Mutha

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 - Tank Abbott dances with Three Count
Out in the back, The Filthy Animals pleaded with Commissioner Ernest Miller to let them referee tonight’s upcoming tag team title match.

In exchange, the animals promised that they could guarantee Miller won his match with The Great Muta tonight.

The Cat agreed and fist-bumped every member of the group besides Disco Inferno, who was ordered to leave after dropping a cringe-worthy ‘word to yo mutha’ on the Commissioner.

The Great Muta vs. Ernest ‘The Cat’ Miller

The Great Muta, one of the greatest wrestlers of all time.

Ernest Miller, not so much.

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 - The Great Muta before his match with Ernest 'The Cat' MillerThough it was never really explained why the two were fighting, the announcers did vaguely insinuate that it had something to do with Muta being part of Vampiro’s Dark Carnival.

Whatever the reason, the actual match wasn’t terrible, and that’s about the best thing that could be said about it.

It was the sort of thing that might be used to kill a few minutes on Nitro. That’s not to say it was bad, but let’s put it this way, if you used it as a bathroom break then you weren’t going to miss anything.

Toward the end, Tygress came out to keep The Filthy Animal’s promise by jumping off the top rope and waving a steel chair in the vicinity of Muta’s head.

The Japanese legend kicked out of the subsequent pin attempt, but Miller won anyway a few moments later.

Blah.
Your Winner: Ernest Miller

Backstage, Buff Bagwell went looking for his mum, who Schiavone told us would be up for grabs tonight in a ‘Judy Bagwell on a Pole’ match.

Yep.

Judy Bagwell on a Pole Match
Positively Kanyon vs. Buff Bagwell

Ok, let’s do this.

If Kanyon wins, he gets Judy Bagwell as his valet.

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 - Buff Bagwell's mum featured in a Judy Bagwell on a pole match
Still doing his best DDP impression after turning on Page back at The Great American Bash 2000, Kanyon drove a forklift to the ring with Momma Bagwell tied to it.

Taking to the microphone, Kanyon insisted that he’d searched the whole of Canada for a pole big enough to hold Buff’s mum but couldn’t find one.

As such, he declared that this was officially now a ‘Judy Bagwell on a Forklift’ match.

Whatever you want to call it, it wasn’t anything special.

Much like the previous Muta/Miller bout, there was nothing particularly offensive about Bagwell/Kanyon. It’s just that nothing interesting happened.

The most exciting moment came near the finish when former World Heavyweight Champion David Arquette came out to try and help Kanyon win.

He failed, of course.

Bagwell got a double Buff Blockbuster on both men, winning the match and, um, his mom.
Your Winner: Buff Bagwell

Post-match, Buff rescued his mother from the forklift truck and hugged her while his theme song sang about how sexy he was.

Only in a pro wrestling review will you read a sentence like that, ladies and gentlemen.

Speaking of hugs, Kanyon embraced Arquette after the match but then turned on him with a Kanyon (Diamond) Cutter.

Lance Storm: A Big F’N Deal

Out in the back, members of the Canadian police force and ‘secret service’ were shown flanking a huge limousine.

This was the kind of entrance you usually saw for Ric Flair or Hulk Hogan, but nope, it was just Lance Storm and his many titles.

After some time-killing banter from the announcers, it was on to the next match.

World Championship Wrestling World Tag Team Championship Four-Corners Match
WCW Tag Team Champions Kronik (Brian Adams & Bryan Clarke) vs. The Misfits in Action (General Rection & Corporal Cajun) vs. Mark Jindrack and Sean O’Haire vs. The Perfect Event (Shawn Stasiak & Chuck Palumbo)

Special referees: Rey Mysterio Jr., Juventud Guerrera, Disco Inferno & Tygress

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 - Buff Bagwell's mum featured in a Judy Bagwell on a pole match
Rey Mysterio Jr. And Juventud Guerrera came down wearing the tag team title belts. They weren’t the champions, they just came down wearing the titles because WCW did this sort of thing ALL THE TIME and yet nobody ever talks about.

Seriously, as I write this, I’ve covered every WCW PPV from January 1996 to August 2000 and I’ve lost count of the number of matches I’ve seen in which a guy who isn’t the champion will come out wearing the belt while the actual champion comes out acting like he doesn’t care that somebody else has his title.

The announcers never mention it. There’s no explanation for it in any pre-match video. It just kind of happens and we’re all just expected to go with it because WCW that’s why.

Rant aside, The Filthy Animals were out here to referee. Yes, all of them.

Well, most of them. Konnan was out to do commentary and set about burying everybody the minute he got a headset on.

Seriously, this wasn’t him playing the heel, this was him being a d**k.

The minute Sean O’ Haire and Mark Jindrack came out, he lay into them for being ‘terrible’ and lacking charisma. It didn’t come off as his character trying to put his own team over at the youngster’s expense, it came over as Charles Ashenoff not giving a damn and just burying the roster.

Before the bell, Disco Inferno told the combatants that he would be the in-ring official while his Filthy Animals colleagues would be the outside officials.

In fairness, Disco’s pre-match mic work was the first entertaining thing on the show.

The match itself was the second.

The best contest on the show so far, this was a well put together match that managed to avoid turning into the kind of overcrowded clusterfunk that bouts with this many people descend into it.

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 - Chuck Palumbo and Brian Adams
Eventually, it became apparent that The Filthy Animals were conspiring to have Jindrack and O’Haire win, not because they were in cahoots, but because the Animals got a shot at the titles the following night and thought the newcomers would be the easiest to beat.

Unfortunately for them, it wasn’t to be.

The most popular team in the match, Kronik dominated the closing moments and got the win thanks to Chavo Guerrero.

After Disco made one too many slow-counts, Chavo ran in, decked the disco-dancing fool and stole his referees' shirt in order to make the count.

I don’t know about you, but I love that the wrestling logic which dictates that the only thing you need in order to be an officially recognised referee for a match is the right shirt.

Also, at one point, Vampiro and Muta ran in and attacked Kronik. This would be important later.
Your Winners and Still WCW Tag Team Champions: Kronik

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 - Pamela Paulshock interviews Jeff Jarrett
Out in the back, Jeff Jarrett was upset that Pamela Paulshock was interviewing him rather than Mean Gene Okerlund.

Jarrett didn’t like Okerlund or anything, he just liked referring to him as a ‘Jurassic Slap Ass’ and seemed a bit cross that he wouldn’t get to do so.

Responding to Paulshock’s question about tonight’s main event, Jarrett gave the same promo he always gave in this era:

‘I’m going to win the match because I’m the chosen one and I have all the stroke, slappy slap ass slapnuts.’

Strap Match
The Franchise Shane Douglas (w/ Torrie Wilson) vs. Billy Kidman

Sadly, there was no yapapi involved in this strap match. There was Torrie Wilson, however, which is probably better.

The future WWE Hall of Famer had joined forces with Shane Douglas at last month’s Bash at the Beach, raising the ire of her former lover Billy Kidman.

As a result, Kidman had returned to he babyface locker room after his ill-advised heel run saw him get his ass handed to him by Hulk Hogan.

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 - Shane Douglas and Torrie WilsonTonight, the two men would compete in a strap match in which you won by pinning your opponent, making the whole stipulation -like almost everything in WCW at this time- pointless and stupid.

Before the bell, The Franchise cut a compelling promo in which he mocked Kidman for not being man enough to keep Torrie satisfied.

As a character, Douglas was on form, and his promo proved to be 500 times more enjoyable than anything he and Kidman did in the ring.

Nothing either man did looked like it was effective and the crowd didn’t care about any of it.

After a few minutes of nothing, Kidman won and the crowd continued not to care.
Your Winner: Kidman

In fact, they only cared when Kidman took the strap and gave Torrie a spanking, but then they stopped caring again when The Franchise attacked and tried to hang his rival in the corner.

Eventually, Big Vito ran to the rescue and proved to be the most over person in the whole thing.

Vito was attacked by Reno (remember him? Me neither) but saw him off too.

Meanwhile, Booker T was shown arriving at the arena and unloading his bag out of his car. This wasn’t very exciting, but it’s a good job the camera crew were there to film it otherwise we would’ve missed Jeff Jarrett sneak attacking the champion.

Back in the arena, this happened...

Mud Rip the Clothes Off Match
Major Gunns vs. Miss Hancock

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 - Major Gunns faced Ms Hancock in a "rip off your clothes and jump in the mud" match
During this era, both major promotions would put the female members of their roster in ‘wrestling matches’ which were little more than thinly-disguised efforts to show as much female flesh as they could get away with and please the horny men in the audience.

It rarely worked.

Though the women themselves may have been stunners, watching them frolic around in their knickers was usually more embarrassing than sexy.

This match was a rare exception.

Both Major Gunns and Miss Hancock were gorgeous women and made sure that they flaunted it as they worked together to put on a neat little wrestling match the likes of which you might expect to see at a pro wrestling school at the end of the first month’s training.

That’s not a criticism either. Neither woman was a full-time wrestler, and yet nothing they did in the ring looked terrible.

Hancock even bust out an impressive handspring-elbow which was even better than the one legendary veteran The Great Muta had performed earlier.

They did all this while making sure we all got a good glimpse of their bums as often as possible.

It was better to focus on this rather than the rules of the match because, unsurprisingly, they didn’t make sense.

Both girls wore camouflage and at various points would rip items of clothing off one another as in your standard ‘strip-u-nekki’ match.

The announcers even told us that the girls were supposed to strip off the camouflaged items.

But that wasn’t how you won the match. You won the match by pinfall, so who knows what the kayfabe logic behind the stripping actually was.

There was also a mud bath and, inevitably, both girls ended up in it.

There, Miss Hancock looked to have the match won, but then doubled over in pain, allowing Gunns to roll her up for the three count.
Your Winner: Major Gunns

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 -  Ms Hancock faced Major Gunns in a "rip off your clothes and jump in the mud" match
Afterwards, everybody, including Gunns, acted really concerned about Miss Hancock, who fell over clutching her stomach.

The announcers also did that horrible thing of trying to convince us that this wasn’t ‘real’ without actually coming out and yelling ‘BUT EVERYTHING ELSE YOU’VE SEEN IS A WORK!!’

They even dropped the Miss Hancock gimmick and started calling her Stacy Kiebler as she was wheeled off on a stretcher.

Get it? It wasn’t Miss Hancock going to the hospital, it was Stacy Kiebler because this was REAL!

Later, this would turn out to be the start of a pregnancy angle that nobody wanted and hardly anybody remembers.

Sting’s Nine Lives Have Run Out

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 -  Pamela Paulshock interviews Vampiro and The Dark Carnival
Back at Bash at the Beach 2000, Vampiro had beaten The Demon in a ridiculous graveyard match.

Taking the old adage that ‘if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em’ literally, the Gene Simmons impersonator had enlisted in Vampiro’s Dark Carnival, a faction which also included an out-of-shape Great Muta.

Backstage, Pamela Paulshock reminded Vampiro that no matter what he did to Sting, the WCW Icon always bounces back.

Tonight, Vamp’ insisted that Sting’s ‘nine lives’ had run out and that Demon would beat him tonight.

The Demon vs. Sting

This wasn’t even a match. Sting descended from the rafters like he used to do in 1997 and beat his opponent in about 30 seconds.

Demon didn’t even get an offensive move in.
Your Winner: Sting

Afterwards, Vamp and Muta came out to attack Sting, but Kronik came out to the rescue.

Seeking revenge from earlier, Brian Adams and Bryan Clarke battered Vamp and Muta while Sting just casually walked off and Demon stood around looking lost.

The tag champs challenged The Dark Carnival to a match later on in the show and even offered to put their tag titles on the line.

Though we never heard from Vamp or Muta, the announcers told us the match was official.

World Championship Wrestling United States Canadian Heavyweight Championship
WCW Canadian Champion Lance Storm vs. Mike Awesome

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 -  Lance Storm and all his titles
Mike Awesome was amazing and it’s a crime that WCW took a giant crap on his career towards the end.

Tonight, however, he was still pretty much the same Mike Awesome we knew ana loved as he went up against Canadian Hero Lance Storm.

Storm, who got the full Goldberg entrance with security and all, came to the ring with his three titles and awesome theme music.

He then proceeded to cut a typically dry promo in which he claimed that he was happy to finally be wrestling in front of the great Canadian fans rather than those stupid, terrible Americans.

Naturally, Lance was insanely over here. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that this was probably the most over he would ever be in his career.

You know who else was over?

Bret ‘The Hitman’ Hart. The crowd chanted The Hitman’s name after the Canadian Champion announced that he had recruited a Canadian legend to serve as special referee and ensure that the ‘Canadian rule book’ was adhered to.

You could literally hear the crowd becoming deflated when that Canadian legend turned out not to be Bret Hart but Jacques Rougeau.

Last seen on PPV back at Wrestlemania 14, Rougeau stood by as both champ and challenger entered into a spirited performance.

The two ECW alumni delivered a crisp, solid wrestling match with some seriously high-impact moves.

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 -  Bret Hart appeared on the showIt’s a testament to how good Mike Awesome was that he blatantly slipped off the top rope at one point but landed on his feet, played it cool and delivered a hard clothesline as though that had been the plan all along.

Awesome eventually won the match thanks to a huge sit down powerbomb, but Rougeau declared that Canadian rules required a five-count.

Awesome then won again, this time by making the champion submit with a Dragon sleeper but again the former Mountie got involved, insisting that titles couldn’t change hands on a submission in Canada.

Undeterred, Awesome beat Storm a third time and pinned him for the five count, only for Jacques to make it a Texas death match in which the champion had til the count of ten to get up after being pinned.

Had this taken place on US soil it would have no doubt infuriated the live crowd, but the Canadians loved it and that only served to make it even more entertaining.

Eventually, both men crashed through a table and Jacques declared that the first man to his feet would be the winner.

Naturally, he decked the challenger to prevent him from getting up, allowing Lance Storm to retain his title.

If that sounds overbooked, it was to an extent, but it was so much fun I’ll let it slide.

By far the best thing on the card so far by a thousand miles.
Your Winner and Still WCW Canadian Champion: Lance Storm

Afterwards, Bret Hart’s music hit and the one Canadian hero everyone really wanted to see made his way to ring.

Known for having a bee in his bonnet about dodgy officiating, it looked as though The Hitman would call out his fellow countrymen for their shenanigans, but instead, he smiled and gave them both a big hug.

Nash is Going Over Steiner

Hey, you know who we haven’t seen enough of tonight? Vampiro.

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 -  Pamela Paulshock interviews Kevin Nash
Not to worry. Kids, if you send in a copy of your cable bill showing that you purchased New Blood Rising, WCW would send you a free Vampiro t-shirt.

Cool, right?

Speaking of which, former Big Daddy Cool Kevin Nash was standing by backstage with Pamela Paulshock.

Pamela noted that Goldberg hadn’t yet arrived for his scheduled three-way dance with Nash and Scott Steiner, but Big Sexy didn’t care.

In a short but decent promo, Nash claimed that he was only in pro wrestling for the money and the title and that he would beat Steiner anyway tonight to get a title shot.

Actually, he didn’t say he’d beat him, he said he was ‘going over’ him because according to WCW logic there was nothing cooler than using insider terms on live TV.

World Championship Wrestling World Tag Team Championship
WCW Tag Team Champions Kronik (Brian Adams & Bryan Clarke) vs. The Dark Carnival (Vampiro & The Great Muta)

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 -  Kronik
Oh look, it’s Vampiro and Great Muta again. Haven’t seen them for a while.

Also, I just realised that The Dark Carnival’s theme music was the ICP song Take it from the WCW Mayhem album.

Like many WCW bouts from this time, the best you could probably say about this one is that it was OK.

Like, there was nothing particularly bad about it, but at the same time it was kinda meh and, after the riotous entertainment of Storm/Awesome, the crowd certainly didn’t care.

Towards the end, Muta accidentally sprayed referee Mickie Jay with the green mist, giving Harris Brothers the chance to run to the ring and beat up Kronik while the referee sold the powder to the eye like he’d just been shot.

Muta then hit a moonsault, Mickie counted to three, and we had new champions.
Your Winners and NEW WCW Tag Team Champions: The Dark Carnival

Backstage, Booker T told Pamela Paulshock that Jeff Jarrett would have to kill him if he wanted his title.

This was followed by a brief video package for our upcoming three-way.

Three-Way Match
Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner (w/ Midajah) vs. Goldberg

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 -  Scott Steiner gets ready to drop an elbow on Goldberg
If they’d just left this alone as a straight forward singles match between the two former nWo members, it would have been a solid big man match.

However, this was WCW, so they couldn’t help but mess things up by throwing some
Goldberg nonsense in there.

The match was billed as a triple threat, but Goldberg didn’t come out when he was announced, leaving Steiner and Nash to go at it.

Eventually, Big Bill arrived, sporting bandaged ribs ala DDP after a kayfabe motorcycle accident.

We then got a few minutes of the advertised three-way before Goldberg decided that he didn’t want to be powerbombed by Big Sexy and ‘went off script’ by walking back.

He was confronted by Vince Russo, who demanded the former champion get back in the ring. Instead; Bill yelled ‘F**k you!’ Very loudly at Russo and it’s amazing that the WWE Network hasn’t censored that out.

Back in the ring, Steiner and Nash continued to brawl, giving us a decent effort that Big Sexy eventually won with the powerbomb.
Your Winner: Kevin Nash

After a video package for the Booker T/Jeff Jarrett match, it was onto our main event.

World Championship Wrestling World
Heavyweight Championship
WCW World Heavyweight Champion Booker T vs. Jeff Jarrett

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 -  Booker T defended the World Heavyweight Championship against Jeff Jarrett
Though it was nowhere near to main event standards, this was otherwise a decent match.

It would have been even better if Booker T had remembered how to sell.

After slamming the champion’s leg in a car door earlier in the show, Jarrett spent the first two-thirds of the match working the same body part.

Booker was fine with this when he was on the defence? But as soon as he went on the attack, it was as though his leg made an instant, miraculous recovery.

It was no noticeable and so stupid that it really took you out of the match, so much so that it was hard to care when the final third broke down into multiple red bumps and overbooking.

Booker and his fully healed legs won with the Book End, but the crowd were apparently so fed up that they started hurling garbage into the ring.
Your Winner and Still WCW Champion: Booker T

Afterwards, the champ suddenly remembered his leg was supposed to hurt and started staggering off.







For some reason, I had high hopes for New Blood Rising.

Alas, all such hopes were buried under big, dirty sheets of mediocrity.

Check out the stupidly fun Lance Storm/Mike Awesome stuff, but otherwise, avoid this one.





For other year 2000 pro wrestling reviews see:
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    Thursday, 5 March 2020

    PPV REVIEW: The Great American Bash 2000

    WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - event poster
    June 11, 2000
    Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland

    Say what you will about Vince Russo's reputation as a booker, with the oft-reviled writer at the helm, World Championship Wrestling spent the first half of 2000 enjoying their best run of PPV shows in years.

    Sure, the horrible finishes and blatant disregard for standard pro wrestling tropes had made the previous month's Slamboree 2000  a frustrating and perplexing experience, but much of the in-ring action had been solid and the show as a whole left you with the smallest amount of hope that the company might yet be able to turn things around.

    Of course, it speaks volumes about the state of WCW at the time that the show -featuring WCW World Heavyweight Champion David Arquette in the main event- had so many things wrong with and yet was still better than a lot of the company's recent output, but honestly, at this stage in the game, being able to say anything positive at all about the company was nothing short of a miracle.





    Would Russo and WCW be able to continue their hot streak, or would it be back to nonsensical, frustrating, terrible business as usual?

    Let's head to the Baltimore Arena to find out as World Championship Wrestling presents The Great American Bash 2000.

    Goldberg is Back...But Also Not Booked

    WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone, and Mark Madden called the show
    What do you do if you're WCW and you have your hottest homegrown star, Bill Goldberg, returning to action after an injury?

    Book him in a high-profile PPV match in order to generate interest and PPV buys?

    Of course not, that would be logical and sensible.

    If you're WCW, you have him return to much fanfare and save former rival Kevin Nash from a Rick Steiner/Tank Abbot beatdown. You then book Nash in the PPV main event for the world title and run an angle where Goldberg, the red hot star, is not only not booked in a match but is banned from the arena.

    #BecauseWCW.

    Tony Schiavone reminded us of all this nonsense before we cut live to the arena, where wimpy-looking policemen stood by, ready to arrest Big Bill if he dared show up.

    This segued into our opening video package which told us about tonight's matches. Besides the Nash/Jeff Jarrett world title fight, we'd also see Ric Flair promising to retire forever (lol) if he lost against son David Flair, and Vampiro taking on Sting in a 'Human Torch' match in which the only way to win was to set your opponent on fire.

    Pyro and crowd shots followed, accompanied by our official greeting from Schiavone and fellow announcers Scott Hudson and Mark Madden.

    With that, it was right onto our opening contest.

    World Championship Wrestling Cruiserweight Championship
    WCW Cruiserweight Champion Leuitenant Loco (w/ General Rection, Major Stash, Corporal Cajun, and Major Gunns) vs. Disco Inferno (w/ Konnan, Rey Mysterio Jr., Juventud Guerrera, and Tygress)

    WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - Konnan and Disco Inferno of The Filthy Animals
    This was about as chaotic a mess as you could possibly get in four short minutes.

    Prior to the bell, General Hugh G. Rection (Hugh Morrus), had his men Major Stash (Van Hammer), Corporal Cajun (Lash LeRoux), Major Gunns, and Cruiserweight Champion Leitenant Loco (Chavo Guerrero) fall in line. Chavo took to the microphone and pulled out a toy grenade that he threatened to use in his match.

    Geddit? Cos he was loco!

    Sigh.

    Disco Inferno then came out wearing an LA Lakers uniform and accompanied by The Filthy Animals, who had taken in Disco Inferno for reasons which weren't really made clear.

    The resulting match could have been a good one but with eight people at ringside, there was too much going on to really tell.

    At one point, some crazy old man in an old-school military uniform came down to the ring and "had a heart attack" when Konnan yelled at him.

    Back in the ring, Juvi -now doing his impersonation of The Rock- got up in the ring and tried to hit Loco with a People's Elbow. He missed, giving Corporal Cajun to get in the ring, blast Disco and drape Chavo's arm over Disco in full view of the referee.

    The referee didn't care and counted the fall anyway.
    Your Winner and Still WCW Cruiserweight Champion: Leutnenant Loco

    WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - Major Gunns with her major gunsYuck. The only good thing about that match was Major Gunn's ass.

    Speaking of whom, the Misfits in Action beauty stripped down to her bikini top in the post-match so that she could give the crazy old man mouth-to-mouth and revive him from his heart attack. As a thank you, the geriatric lunatic got up and sexually molested her.

    Meanwhile, out in the back, policemen assured Eric Bischoff that the area was secure and everything was going according to plan. Ernest Miller was also there but did nothing of note.

    Mean Gene Annoys the Mamalukes

    WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - Mean Gene Okerlund interviews The Mamalukes
    Backstage, the s**t-stirring Mean Gene Okerlund caused trouble among Big Vito and Johnny The Bull.

    First, he offended them by calling them The Mamalukes (they wanted to be known as the Paisans), then, after giving the two a brief moment to talk about their upcoming tag match against Kronik, he caused trouble by questioning which one of them was really the WCW Hardcore Champion.

    Big Vito wore the belt, but Okerlund wondered whether it was really Johnny The Bull who should be recognised as the champion.

    This was entertaining enough, though didn't really add much to the show.

    The Mamalukes (Big Vito & Johnny The Bull) vs. Kronik (Brian Adams & Bryan Clark)

    This one started off as a reasonable effort match but soon disintegrated into a mess.

    WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - Big Vito refused to take off the Hardcore Championship belt for The Mamalukes match with Kronik
    Despite Big Vito caring more about the hardcore title (which he refused to take off), he and Johnny The Bull held their own against the veteran team of Bryan Clark and Brian Adams until Clark tossed Vito's title out of the ring.

    The big man left the ring to get it, leaving Johnny The Bull to botch his way through a sloppy closing segment in which he looked completely lost and messed up a top rope moonsault.

    Not that it mattered. Kronik soon planted him with their High Times finisher (a double chokeslam) and this one was done.
    Your Winners: Kronik

    This meant that Adams & Clark were now the number one contenders to the tag team titles currently held by Shawn Stasiak & Chuck Palumbo.

    Page Has Something Special for Mike Awesome

    Backstage, Diamond Dallas Page spoke to Pamela Paulshock's boobs about his upcoming Ambulance Match with Mike Awesome.

    DDP, who I think was supposed to be the babyface here, called Paulshock a bimbo before disputing her claim that Awesome was a career-killer. Tonight, the Master of the Self High-Five promised that he had something special in store for Awesome.

    Ambulance Match
    Mike Awesome vs. Diamond Dallas Page

    WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - Pamela Paulshock interviewed Diamond Dallas Page
    Yes, this was in retribution for Awesome throwing Chris Kanyon off the top of the cage back at last month's Slamboree 2000. Yep, Awesome had 'killed' Kanyon's career.

    Naturally then, Page's "something special," was Kanyon himself, who wore a halo and had to be pushed out onto the stage in a wheelchair. He stayed there while Dallas went to war with Awesome in what was a decent but by no means spectacular brawl.

    At one point, Page's ex, Kimberley came to the ring and bashed Dallas across the back with a lead pipe, but she was dragged to the back by Miss Hancock for reasons which were never explained.

    DDP made a comeback, giving us the highlight of the match when he hit the Diamond Cutter on Awesome from the top rope. The former ECW star was placed on a stretcher and wheeled up the ramp, but before he could be put in the ambulance, Eric Bischoff's music hit and he levelled DDP with a chair. While all this was going on, Kanyon made a miraculous recovery, standing out of his wheelchair, throwing off his halo and hitting DDP with a better-looking Diamond Cutter off the stage than the one Page himself had just used.

    The #BecauseWCW of it all the continued when Kanyon helped the man who had 'killed' his career win the match by loading Page onto the stretcher.

    Awesome and Kanyon had a great match back at Slamboree, and Page could turn it up a notch when he wanted to. Taking those two factors into consideration, this could have been a great match, but it sadly was not to be.
    Your Winner: Mike Awesome

    After Page was driven out of the arena in the ambulance, the announcers talked over what we'd seen so far, killing time until Booker T could zip line his way to the ring. I guess WCW were really going all out with this f**k you Owen Hart stuff, weren't they?

    Boot Camp Match
    G.I Bro vs. WCW Tag Team Champion 'PerfectShawn' Shawn Stasiak

    WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - Booker T as G.I Bro faced Shawn Stasiak
    I should mention here that Booker was working as G.I Bro, the gimmick he'd used when he first broke into professional wrestling and had revived here so that he could for some reason be part of the Misfits in Action stable.

    Meanwhile, Shawn Stasiak was the WCW tag team champion but was fighting Booker T here for reasons which were never explained. Not content with stealing Curt Hennig's gimmick, 'PerfectShawn' dressed up in camo -face paint and all- for this boot camp match.

    In case you were wondering, Boot Camp is basically Last Man Standing, beat-the-ten-count rules.

    At first, the whole thing started as one of the better matches on the card but soon turned into one, long, sleeper-hold-filled snooze fest that elicited a loud "boring" chant from the Baltimore faithful.

    Towards the end, Stasiak's tag team partner, Chuck Palumbo, came out with a flex bar he'd stolen from Lex Luger. The duo used it to beat up G.I Bro and got a nine-count, but apparently, the WCW tag team scene was so poor that its champions could be single-handily beaten up by one dude.

    That dude was Booker T, and he won the match.
    Your Winner: G.I Bro.

    WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - Mean Gene Okerlund interviews Kanyon
    Out in the back, Kanyon was seen rummaging through some clothes. I'm not sure if they were his, or if his recent injury meant that he'd fallen on such hard times he had to steal them from somebody else's suitcase.

    Either way, we'd never find out for sure because he was accosted by Mean Gene, who wanted to know one thing:

    Why?

    Because Eric Bischoff visited Kanyon in the hospital more than anyone else and told him that all he had to do to get DDP's spot was to take him out. Gleefully, Kanyon gloated about doing just that, but Okerlund wasn't so sure the former Mortis had achieved his goal. After all, we were shown Page breaking out of the ambulance, punching a defenceless EMT (remember: DDP = babyface), and going off.

    As he wandered into the parking lot, Goldberg made a subtle and discreet entrance in a huge monster truck with his name branded on it.

    Back in the arena, Kanyon didn't seem too bothered by any of this, and declared himself to be "Positively Kanyon."

    Hmm, doesn't quite have the same ring to it.

    Tables Match
    The Franchise Shane Douglas vs. The Wall

    WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - Shane Douglas faced The Wall in a stupid tables match
    You want a straight-forward wrestling match with no gimmicks? Well, this WCW, so f*** you.

    And f***  you, Baltimore, because The Franchise Shane Douglas is a heel who hates you...

    ...or maybe he isn't.

    Before the match, Douglas cut a confusing promo in which he started off by calling the crowd 'Baltimore pieces of s**t'.

    Years later, the WWE Network would leave that line intact in all its uncensored glory. Douglas then took a moment to take shots at Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan, because he was physically incapable of opening his mouth without the Nature Boy's name coming out of it.

    That, however, wasn't the confusing part.

    The confusing part was that Douglas then decided that this was going to be a "Best of Five" tables match, and then appealed to the audience, turning to them and asking "Would Baltimore like to see that?" with all the enthusiasm and excitement of a babyface.

    Then again, this was WCW, so I don't know why I'm surprised by such nonsense, or why I'm surprised that the announcers couldn't figure out that a "best of five" match meant that the first man to put his opponent through three tables won the whole thing.

    Once the match got started, Douglas mostly got his ass kicked by The Wall and was chokeslamed through two tables in a matter of minutes. Whenever he did get in some offence, Douglas played to the crowd and received the obligatory EC-DUB! chant in response. I guess the Baltimore crowd really didn't mind being called pieces of s**t.

    To be fair, the spirit of ECW was strong in its former champion tonight. Having gone through two tables, The Franchise made a miraculous and almost instantaneous recovery, luring The Wall out of the ring to a spot by the entranceway where two tables had been set up with a ladder placed in front of them. It was as though it was purposefully set up so that somebody could be pushed off the ladder and crash through the two tables or something.

    Did I mention there were TWO tables? Of course, I did, because this was important, and also very obvious. There were two tables. Predictably, Douglas climbed to the top of the ladder. The wall chased after him with his back to the TWO tables and choked him out. As he did this, the announcers pointed out -several times- that there were only TWO tables.

    Shane then produced some brass knuckles from his tights and punched The Wall with them. This caused The Wall to blatantly jump backwards and crash through the TWO tables.

    That would even the score, right? Two tables a piece? Next man to put his opponent through a table wins?

    Nope.

    This was WCW, so f**k you, we're now going to say that The Wall went through three tables and Shane Douglas is the winner.
    Your Winner: Shane Douglas

    Afterwards, the people Shane Douglas had called pieces of s**t applauded him. The Wall then grabbed referee Slick Johnson by the throat and chokeslammed him through a table.

    We then got a replay of the finish, with the announcers blatantly ignoring the fact that there were only two tables set up and pretending it was three.

    This company, honestly.

    Out in the back, Hulk Hogan pulled up in his car and headed to the arena. The Hulkster was adorned in full 'Hollywood' regalia, complete with massive black and white boas.

    World Championship Wrestling United States Championship 'Asylum' Match
    WCW United States Champion Scott Steiner (w/ Shakira & Midajah) vs. Tank Abbot & Rick Steiner

    WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - Scott Steiner faced Tank Abbott and Rick Steiner
    By this point, I'm starting to think that WCW could have cancelled this whole show, put up a screen that just said "F-U" for three hours, and it would have still been somehow more entertaining than the show Great American Bash 2000 was turning out to be.

    To begin with, I'm not even sure if this was actually for the US title. I'll go ahead and say that it was, because why not? It's not like anything actually mattered here.

    Then, we were told that the 'Asylum' match was Scott Steiner's signature bout so, to make things fair, Vince Russo and Eric Bischoff had made it a handicap match, with Rick Steiner joining Scott's original opponent, Tank Abbot.

    A UFC-style circular cage then descended into -not around, but into- the ring, as Tank and The Dog Faced Gremlin beat up on Big Poppa Pump.

    It was tedious, but it did at least get a little interesting when Tank Abbot pulled out a chain, only for Rick to urge him not to use it. The former UFC fighter seemed to oblige but then destroyed Rick with the chain.

    Scotty made a miracle comeback, blasted Abbot with the chain and locked on the Steiner Recliner for a win inside about three minutes.

    This was some piece of garbage.
    Your Winner and Still WCW US Champion: Scott Steiner

    Out in the back, Ric Flair turned up in a limousine with his whole family (including a young Charlotte Flair) in tow. In a case of terrible continuity, Goldberg's monster truck pulled up in the background and the announcers acted like it was the first time we'd seen it.

    Blood is Thicker Than New Blood, Dude

    WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - Mean Gene interviews Hollywood Hulk Hogan about his match with Billy Kidman
    After a promo recapping the intense rivalry between Hulk Hogan and Billy Kidman, Mean Gene Okerlund interviewed The Hulkster about his upcoming match. Addressing the stipulation that he would have to retire if he lost (yes, just like Flair), Hogan dismissed it and claimed that he and Mean Gene would last forever.

    On the subject of his nephew, Horace Hogan, being the special guest referee, Hogan insisted that blood was thicker than New Blood, dude.

    Finally, Hogan addressed his wearing of the Hollywood attire, claiming that he had to change with the times. Changing the times for Hogan meant going back to something that had worked for him four years previously.

    This was pretty good, old-school stuff from Hogan, and certainly one of his better promos.

    Billy Kidman vs. Hollywood Hulk Hogan

    Special Guest Referee: Horace Hogan

    Hogan even came out to the classic nWo theme, which was pretty cool.

    Meanwhile, special guest referee Horace Hogan was now friends with Kidman, despite being on Uncle Hulk's side only four weeks earlier at Slamboree.

    WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - Hollywood Hulk Hogan attacks Billy Kidman
    That aside, this was a better match than a lot of people give it credit for. Yes, it was mostly just Hogan destroying 'flea market champion' Kidman for the better part of ten minutes, but compared to the utter abomination that the rest of the show had been, it was a refreshingly straight-forward and enjoyable contest.

    Throughout the match, Kidman spent half the time growing increasingly frustrated at his 'friend' Horace's commitment to calling the match down the middle and the other half getting his ass kicked. Sure, at one point he gained a brief bit of offence and even went to DDT Hogan onto a chair, but Hogan's head stopped about two feet away from the chair, making the whole thing look stupid.

    In the closing stretch, Hogan hiptossed Kidman through the announce table in what was the best move in the match. That brought out Torrie Wilson, who had been having her troubles with Kidman and decided to settle their domestic dispute by handing Hogan a pair of brass knuckles.

    Hopefully, they weren't the same pair that had been down Shane Douglas' tights earlier in the evening.

    Kidman got hold of the International Object and took out Horace, but got a low-blow from Torrie. That allowed Hogan to put on the knucks, blast his opponent and win the match.
    Your Winner: Hollywood Hulk Hogan

    Post-match, Hulk and Horace reunited as the announcers reminded us that Hogan's win meant he earned a title shot at Bash at the Beach. That, my friends, would only spell trouble.

    Speaking of trouble, back in the dressing room, Eric Bischoff was seen yelling at a policeman for not keeping the arena secure enough from Goldberg.

    A Word With The Flairs

    WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - Pamela Paulshock interviews Vince Russo and David Flair
    Elsewhere in the arena, Pamela Paulshock got in an unexpected burn on David Flair.

    "David, good luck in retiring your father Ric Flair tonight, because you're gonna need it," said the backstage interviewer, drawing the ire of both Flair and his manager/surrogate father, Vince Russo.

    Doing all the talking for David, Russo ranted and raved about how badly David was gonna hurt his dad in what turned out to actually be a pretty decent promo.

    Not that it was anywhere near the level of the Nature Boy's promo. Speaking live to Mean Gene  Meeeeeeean WOOOO! GENE, The Nature Boy promised to style, profile, and walk that ilse en route to destroying his eldest son.

    David Flair (w/ Vince Russo) vs. Nature Boy Ric Flair

    WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - A young Charlotte Flair (top-right) in the audience with her family to watch Ric Flair vs. David Flair
    It says a lot about this show that a David Flair match was the best thing on it, at least up to this point anyway.

    Obviously, the quality was all down to Ric walking his eldest son through the whole thing as David himself was barely competent.

    The two put on a decent couple of minutes that got a little weird when Russo handcuffed Ric Flair's hands together. Referee Charles Robinson allowed that but had a problem with David using the ropes for leverage in a figure four.

    At that point, Reid and Ashley (Charlotte) made their PPV debuts by getting involved. Reid hit Russo with a low blow and stole the keys so that Robinson could set Nature Boy free, after which Ashley used those same keys to handcuff Russo's arms together.

    Back in the ring, Ric slapped the figure four on David and this one was over.
    Your Winner: Ric Flair

    Afterwards, Flair chopped the bejeebus out of Russo, prompting to Russo to call Ric's kids 'bitches' and promise to end Flair's career himself on the following evening's Nitro broadcast.

    A quick video recapping the Sting vs. Vampiro rivalry followed, then it was time for the two to lock horns.

    Human Torch Match
    Vampiro vs. Sting

    WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - Sting lights the torch for his Human Torch match with Vampiro
    Sting started the match stood atop the 'Nitrovision' (titantron) and lit a torch, telling Vampiro that if he wanted to fight him, he'd have to follow him up there.

    Vamp initially refused and looked horrified at even the mere suggestion of climbing up there. Sure, setting people on fire he had no problem with, but climbing a 45ft platform?

    That was too much for Vampiro.

    At least it was for the first three minutes, after which he willingly climbed up there anyway once The Stinger abseiled down and got in the ring for a quick brawl.

    Once both men were safely back on top of the platform, we got thunder and lightning sound effects as the arena lights flashed on and off. Seriously, you thought The Fiend's red light was distracting in 2019?

    Those matches are the picture of clarity compared to this.

    After a few minutes of hardly anything happening, the lights went completely dark so that Sting could trade places with a stuntman. I think that's what happened anyway. I mean, there's always the possibility that in the few seconds of absolute darkness, Sting gained about 50 lbs and had a haircut. Fake Sting got set on fire, then stood at the edge of the tron, took a deep breath, then took the fakest 'professional stuntman' dive down onto a concealed inflatable mattress below.

    As I write this, I've been watching professional wrestling for 28 years and that was easily the fakest thing I've ever seen.
    Your Winner: Sting

    Afterward, the announce team acted as though the terrible fall by 'Sting' had all but killed him. Again, F-U, Owen Hart.

    "This is not wrestling anymore," said Scott Hudson.

    He wasn't wrong.

    WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - Pamela Paulshock interviews grey-haired Eric BischoffThere is No Surprise

    Is it just me, or does Eric Bischoff look a little like his former opponent, Jay Leno in this picture?

    Here, we saw him confronted by Pamela Paulshock, who interrupted Bischoff's phone call by sticking her boobs in his face and demanding to know what the mystery surprise was that he'd been promising throughout the show.

    Furious, Bischoff claimed there was no surprise after all and send Paulshock packing.

    World Championship Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship
    WCW World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Jarrett vs. Kevin Nash

    As I write this, there are about 25 minutes left on this show. Look, I like Kevin Nash, and I don't mind the odd Jeff Jarrett match, but do I want to see them wrestling each other for 25 minutes?

    WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - Kevin Nash challenged Jeff Jarrett for the WCW World Heavyweight Championship
    Heck no.

    Thankfully, I wouldn't have to. Some of that time was wasted by WCW Commissioner Ernest 'The Cat' Miller coming out and announcing that some 'celebrities' would be involved in the match.

    Those 'celebrities' were basically The Filthy Animals, who were filling in such roles as guest 'bell-ringer' and 'timekeeper' while Miller declared himself to be the 'special ring enforcer and referee.'

    Yawn.

    Still 20 minutes to go.

    The action got underway with Jeff Jarrett taking an approach that no wrestler before him had ever thought of:

    Attacking Kevin Nash's legs.

    He worked over Big Sexy's giant pins for a good few minutes. Not a single person cared. This wasn't just because it was incredibly boring, but because everybody was waiting for the inevitable Goldberg appearance and spent most of the match looking out to the entrance for him.

    Eventually, the combatants managed to capture the audience's attention when referee Micky Jay took a ref bump, giving us the only enjoyable part of the match with the Filthy Animals running interference and The Cat playing 'Evil Referee,' only for Nash to defy the odds and beat the hell out of them all.

    Predictably, Goldberg did show up.

    He hit the ring, sized up Jarrett, and then SWERVE! He hit Kevin Nash with the spear. This was also very predictable when you consider WCW's recent track record of doing the STUPIDEST THING POSSIBLE at every opportunity.

    Goldberg's involvement allowed Jarrett to cover Nash. Big Bill revived Micky Jay long enough to make the count, and this was done.
    Your Winner and Still WCW Champion: Jeff Jarrett

    Post-match, Bill Goldberg posed with Eric Bischoff and Vince Russo to close the show.






    Throughout all the years that I've been writing these reviews, I've found that the best way to approach a bad show is with humour. Mock it a little, have fun with it, make a joke about all the weird, ridiculous and awful things that happen in the name of pro wrestling.

    Yet, as I've learned the hard way today, there's only so long you can do this before it stops being funny.

    By the summer of 2000, World Championship Wrestling had stopped being funny.

    At Slamboree, I mentioned how there had at least been some decent wrestling, even if it was overshadowed by lousy creative decision making.

    However, Great American Bash 2000 didn't even have decent wrestling to save it from being one of the worst shows of all time. I don't say that lightly, either.

    Since I started Retro Pro Wrestling, I've reviewed every WWF PPV from Wrestlemania 1 up to Judgement Day 2000. I've reviewed every WCW show from Superbrawl 1996 onwards, and I've even reviewed the terrible disaster that was Heroes of Wrestling 1999. Out of all those shows, I can't think of many -if any- that have infuriated me, disappointed me, and made me want to quit this whole thing any more so than this one.

    Honestly, the only reason I would advise you to go anywhere near this mess is to see Charlotte Flair before she was Charlotte Flair.

    Everything else basically just "because we're WCW, so f**k you.'



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    Retro Pro Wrestling

    New reviews of classic WWF/WWE events recalling every moment from Wrestlemania 1 - 30. You'll also find reviews of WCW, ECW, TNA and the occasional indie event, along with a look at old school magazines, merchandise and more.