Mega Powers Running Wild!

The legendary 'Macho man' Randy Savage teams up with 'The Immortal' Hulk Hogan to take on Ted Dibiase and Andre The Giant in the first ever WWF Summerslam!

Shawn Micahels vs. Mankind

The Heartbreak Kid defends the WWF Championship against Mankind in a thrilling main event at WWF In Your House: Mind Games.

The Birth of the nWo

From Hulk Hogan's shocking turn at WCW Bash at the Beach 1996 to the addition of Ted Dibiase, THe Giant Syxx and more, relive the very beginning of the New World Order.

Austin 3:16 Says I Just Kicked Your Ass

It's one of the most famous promos of all time; Stone Cold Steve Austin wins the 1996 King of The Ring and serves notice on all the WWF superstars. Check it out in our complete review

Wrestlemania 12 Review

The boyhood dream comes true as Shawn Michaels battles champion Bret 'The Hitman' Hart in a classic 1-hour iron man match. Plus, Diesel vs. Undertaker and more.

WCW Fall Brawl 1996 Review

Was Sting in cahoots with the New World Order? Would Lex Luger be able to get along with the Four Horsemen as they faced the nWo in War Games? Find out in this review

Showing posts with label Kronik. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kronik. Show all posts

Thursday, 4 March 2021

PPV REVIEW: WWA - The Revolution 2002

WWA - The Revolution 2002 - Event Review
February 24, 2002
Aladdin Casino Center, Las Vegas, Nevada

I couldn't help myself. I needed to see more  World Wrestling All-Stars shows even though the first show, WWA: The Inception had been bad beyond belief.

Not just bad, but farcical

Famously, the show featured the commentary of Jeremy Borash and Jerry Lawler blaring out over the arena PA system for the whole event, but that was the least of this show's problems.

It featured a Bananas in Pyjamas rip-off known as The Fruits in Suits whose sole contribution to the show was to serve as the basis for a bunch of homophobic jokes, Bret Hart lying about being undefeated before interfering in the main event because he didn't want anyone winning with his finishing move and so much ridiculousness that The Inception simply has to be considered one of the worst PPVs of all time.

Still, I couldn't help myself. 

I found the company's second PPV, The Revolution, on YouTube, and just had to know if it was as bad as the first or if the company had managed to turn things around.

Let's head to  Las Vegas, Nevada and find out together, shall we?

It's the Revolution

WWA - The Revolution 2002 - Tantric performed at the event
Rather than starting with the usual opening video package, we instead joined WWA Revolution part way through a live performance by the band Tantric with a song called -naturally- Revolution.

Look, I'm not going to knock on Tantric. Their song Down and Out is a good tune that still crops up on my playlists from time to time, but the production values of this show were so poor that all you heard was lead singer Hugo Ferreira moaning the word "Revolution" over and over. 

Needless to say, this was not Tantric's finest hour.

Nor was it WWA's. 

The show finally gave us our opening video...Three of them in fact.

The first video showed clips from The Inception and other WWA tour shows set to the classical piece O Fortuna

If they'd left it at that, I would've said the show was off to a good start. Unfortunately, they gave us a second short video featuring more of the same clips set to a piece of rock music and finally, a third short video which featured yet more of the same in more of an opening credits style.

It was like they made three different intros and couldn't decide which one to use so simply said "f**k it" and threw all three in.

Unfortunately, the production woes would continue in our first match of the broadcast.

Six-Way Elimination Match
Nova vs. Low Ki vs. Shark Boy vs. AJ Styles vs. Tony Mamaluke vs. Christopher Daniels

WWA - The Revolution 2002 - Christopher Daniels competed in the opening match
There are certain things that we all just take for granted in pro wrestling. Take camera angles for example. 

In any match where the competitors are already in the ring for "super special introductions" we take it as a given that when a wrestler's name is announced, the camera will show us that wrestler so that we can put a name to a face and know exactly who the ring announcer is talking about.

WWA either didn't think that was important or hired a camera crew who had never seen professional wrestling before. As such, whenever a wrestler was introduced in this six-man elimination match, the view either stayed on the ring announcer's face, cut to the hard camera, or gave us some random view of a different wrestler. 

The camera work didn't get any better as the match progressed and ended up completely distracting from the action. At times, the camera crew completely missed what was going on. 

At one point, Tony Mamaluke got busted wide open and nobody had any idea why because the cameras missed it, leading announcers Jeremey Borash and Mark Madden to speculate that Mamaluke had actually cut himself open backstage before the match

I mean, unless he took the whole Goldberg-headbutting-a-locker thing to extreme levels, that seems very unlikely. 

Later in the match, Christopher Daniels was on the top rope, the next he toppled to the mat like a sack of crap and nobody knew why guessed it, the camera missed it.

Look, I get it:

This is a pro wrestling review not a cameraman/show director review, but when the production value is so bad that you notice it more than anything going on in the ring, that seems like it's worth mentioning.

Not that the action itself was bad. 

Here, you had six talented guys who knew full well that their job was to go to the ring, bust out a bunch of cool spots and big moves, and to that end they mostly delivered.

With the possible exception of AJ Styles busting out a second rope Styles Clash, almost everything was instantly forgettable, but this was still a fun match. 

Speaking of Styles, he was really the star of the whole thing which, knowing what we know now about his career, shouldn't come as much of a surprise.

Unfortunately for the future WWE Champion, simply outshining everyone else in the match wasn't enough to actually win it. Nova picked up the win with a top rope suplex.
Your Winner: Nova 

WWA - The Revolution 2002 - Mark Madden and Jeremy Borash called the event
Post-match, Madden and Borash killed time by talking about how we should "expect the unexpected" from the WWA which was a not-so-subtle way of letting us know that tonight's advertised card had changed. 

Bret Hart Speaks

Up next, we got an in-ring promo from WWA Commissioner Bret 'The Hitman' Hart whose first job was to tell us exactly how the card had changed.

According to The Hitman, WWA World Champion Jeff Jarrett's scheduled challenger, Macho Man Randy Savage, wasn't able to make the show. So, as Commissioner, it was Hart's job to choose a replacement and out of everyone on the WWA Roster (including bonafide main eventer Scott Steiner and the uber-talented Eddie Guerrero), he had chosen Brian Christopher.

Bret's reasoning for this seemingly out-of-the-blue choice? He liked second-generation wrestlers and since Christopher had been on the last tour (which I'm pretty sure he wasn't), that qualified him to compete for the world title.

So far, so good, but then things got...well, kinda weird.

WWA - The Revolution 2002 -  WWA Commissioner Bret 'The Hitman' Hart
Much as he'd done at The Inception, Bret decided that he wanted to talk about 9/11, and told the American audience that despite the anti-American gimmick he played at the end of his WWF run, he was actually proud to hold an American passport by virtue of his mom being born in America. After using the traumatic events of 9/11 to get himself over as a babyface with the crowd, Hart then took a bizarre swerve where he began talking about how great the Canadian hockey team was, eliciting boos and a loud "USA! USA!" chant from the live audience.

Oh, Bret, I'm a big fan of yours, but this was not your finest hour. 

Whatcha Gonna Do, Funker?
Since we last saw him competing as Kwee-Wee back at WCW Greed 2001, Allan Funk had grown his hair long, spouted a moustache and decided to start doing a Hulk Hogan impersonator gimmick.

On tonight's show, we first met him backstage where he confronted pint-sized brawlers Puppet and Teo, both of whom stared at him looking utterly confused while he spouted every Hogan mannerism in the book.

The Funkster then walked off, leaving Puppet to charge at Teo with a trash can lid.

The Funkster vs. Reno

WWA - The Revolution 2002 -  Allan Funk did a Hulk Hogan impression
This bland but inoffensive match was notable only for the fact that the crowd clearly weren't on board with the heel/face roles. The Funkster was clearly positioned as the face here, but the crowd were having none of it and were firmly behind former Natural Born Thriller, Reno.

Of course, I say firmly - what I really mean is that they'd occasionally get bored and bust out a faint "Reno! Reno!" chant. During one of these instances, Jeremy Borash told us that we could clearly hear the audience rooting for The Funkster. Yep, because when I want to show my support for my favourite wrestlers, I always chant their opponent's name.

Clearly undeterred, The Funkster 'Funked Up' and did the whole hand-to-ear thing, only to be met with a chorus of half-hearted boos from the fans. It was pretty funny. Just not in the way Funk intended it to be.

In the end, Funk blasted Reno with a piledriver and Leg Drop of Doom and that was that.
Your Winner: The Funkster

Out in the back, Scott Steiner emerged from a limousine with a bevvy of beauties.

Out in the arena, Disco Inferno came to the announce table to bemoan the fact that his scheduled match with Brian Christopher had been canceled so that the former Grandmaster Sexay could cash in his clearly well-earned title shot against Jeff Jarrett. Pumped and ready for action, Disco declared that he was issuing an open challenge then sat down to do commentary, by which I mean he sat down to argue with Madden and Borash a bit.

To be fair, the way Borash casually quipped "I don't like you," to Disco was funnier than I can make it sound here.

Native Blood (Navajo Warrior & Ghost Warrior) vs. Kronik (Bryan Adams & Brian Clarke) 

WWA - The Revolution 2002 -  Kronik appeared
were last seen at WWF Unforgiven 2001 in a legendarily bad match against Kane and The Undertaker. Tonight, they competed against Navajo Warrior and Ghost Warrior that wasn't much better.

In fact, this wasn't really anything. Brian Adams and Bryan Clarke decimated their opponents from pillar to post, botched a few big moves (naturally), and then walked away with the pin after a "High Times" double chokeslam.

It wasn't great, but I suppose it could have been worse. 

I take no pleasure from saying that, either, because I'm generally a big fan of the basics behind the Kronik gimmick. Not so much the dumb marijuana references, but the general idea of two big dudes smashing people's heads in does have a place in wrestling. It's just a shame Adams and Clarke never quite mastered that role.

As for Native Blood, their only job was to get beat up by Kronik and serve as the basis for several tasteless jokes by Disco and Madden. If you really wanted to know how little you were supposed to care about these two, the announcers didn't even bother to learn their names, with Borash at one point calling Navajo Warrior "Native Blood One" and later referring to the team as -I'm not making this up- "The Other Team."

Pah. This was nothing. If you never see this match in your life, you really won't be missing anything.
Your Winners: Kronik 

WWA - The Revolution 2002 -  Puppet The Angry Dwarf cut a promo
Backstage, Puppet cut a promo in which he insisted that "midgets are the true stars of America" and that he was going to destroy "every weeble wobble in America," whatever that means.

This was followed by a brief dance routine by the Starettes (think discount-aisle Nitro Girls) who were thankfully spared from having Borash and Jerry Lawler making lewd comments about them over the loudspeaker as had been the misfortune of the (completely different) Starettes back at The Inception. 

Unfortunately, not everyone got to do their job without awful comments about them being made on the PA...

Falls Count Anywhere Hardcore Match:
Puppet vs. Teo

"Midgets! When was the last time you saw midgets!" asked Jeremy Borash as Puppet and Teo came out already brawling.

WWA - The Revolution 2002 -  Puppet The Angry Dwarf
Well, the last time we saw little people wrestling -these exact two no less- was at the first TNA PPV, but since this show came first, I get Borash's point. At that TNA show, Puppet and Teo actually put on a pretty decent performance, playing it straight and having an actual wrestling match with none of the goofiness normally associated with dwarf wrestling. This time, the two did their best to give us a hardcore match that was completely overshadowed by the obnoxious commentary -particularly from Madden and Disco- that the WWA production team had decided everyone needed to hear blasting out through the arena.

While Borash seemed to be in awe of the fact that dwarf performers even existed, Mark Madden and Disco Inferno spent most of the match talking about how both men should just die. That's no exaggeration. At one point, Teo climbed the top rope for a leap to the outside and Disco Inferno shouted -I shit you not- "GO ON! KILL YOURSELF!"

Throughout the rest of the match, they continued to crack wise about what it would be like for Teo and Puppet to either kill themselves or each other. Given that Puppet (Stevie Lee) passed away just a few months before I sat down to write this review, this has aged very badly. 

The worst part about this was that the commentary was the only time the crowd reacted to anything at all. Puppet and Teo slammed each other into trash cans, dove off the ropes and generally demolished each other to near silence. The only noise came from the occasional burst of laughter when the crowd found Disco and Madden's idiotic jokes funny.

Honestly, if you want to watch wrestling were Little People are treated with some kind of dignity and respect, this wasn't the match for you.

The end came when Puppet dropped Teo with a TKO onto some thumbtacks -again to almost no reaction- and picked up the pin.
Your Winner: Puppet

WWA - The Revolution 2002 -  Big Poppa Pump is your Hook Up, Holler if ya hear me!
I was going to say that Puppet didn't have much time to celebrate because Scott Steiner came out and attacked him, but that's not actually true. He had all the time he wanted to celebrate, grab a coffee, and maybe even repaint his house as The Big Bad Booty Daddy took his sweet time strolling to ringside and taking out the two pint-sized performers.

Accompanied by a beautiful woman who wasn't Midajah, Steiner cut a practically incomprehensible promo which can just about be summed up thusly:

Sex = good.
Bret Hart not giving him a title shot = bad.

Steiner then said that since he was there anyway, he was going to kick somebody's ass and went outside to grab Disco Inferno. It was at this point that the weirdest thing in the whole show occurred:

Disco tried to escape through the crowd but was stopped by -of all people- Hiroyoshi Tenzan

Tenzan choked Disco and pushed him into the waiting arms of Steiner. His appearance was never acknowledged by Borash nor by Madden, and I've even scanned countless reviews of this show and not one reviewer mentioned this spot. Honestly, I started to think I'd hallucinated it, but nope, there he is.

What an absolutely weird thing to bring a guy in from Japan to have him appear from nowhere, choke a dude, and then disappear without anyone even noting that it had happened.

Anyway, Steiner then threw Disco around the ring like a rag doll for a few minutes before taking him out with the Steiner Recliner to end the whole...whatever this was.

As Madden and Borash reflected on what just happened (and talked about what was still to come), Hiroyoshi Tenzan got up from his seat behind them and wandered off into the crowd. The announcers continued not to mention him as if he'd never been there.

World Wrestling Allstars International Cruiserweight Championship
WWA International Cruiserweight Champion Psicosis vs. Juventud Guerrera vs. Eddy Guerrero

WWA - The Revolution 2002 -  Eddie Guerrero wrestled for the cruiserweight title
You know, I'm convinced that WWA used the same title belt for both their cruiserweight and world championships. They looked pretty much identical. 

Not that the ring announcer even seemed to notice that a title was involved at all here. He didn't introduce Psicosis as the champion nor did he even tell us this was a title match.

Oh, and for the record, yes, that is how they spelled Eddie 'Eddy' Guerrero's name on this show.

The match got underway and proved to be the best thing on the card up until this point. That's not to say it was an all-out classic or anything. It wasn't, but it was a match in which three talented performers showed up motivated to work and delivered the best match they possibly could.

Sure, it was occasionally soured by the weird camera angles, the odd presentation of a pro wrestling show taking place in a theatre rather than an arena, and Borash constantly boasting about how they were the only pro wrestling promotion not afraid to book a proper cruiserweight division, but beneath all that, what you got here was a good effort from three stalwarts of the now-defunct WCW cruiserweight division.

Not surprisingly given his superior star power, Eddie Guerrero won the match with his patented frog splash and then started to cut a heel promo on the very crowd that had been cheering for him the whole match.
Your Winner and NEW WWA Cruiserweight Champion: Eddie Guerrero  

WWA - The Revolution 2002 -  Jerry Lynn confronts Eddie Guerrero
It was a weird promo too because Guerrero talked about how he had battled his personal issues and was now making a comeback -true babyface fodder if ever it existed- but insulted the crowd and generally heeled it up the whole time.

He was eventually interrupted by Jerry Lynn standing at the top of the entrance ramp and shouting "Excuse me! Excuse me!"  - somewhere backstage, Eddie's wife was no doubt taking notes. 

Lynn cut an equally bizarre promo in which he acted like a heel when he was supposed to be the babyface, told Guerrero to "quit your bitchin', biatch" and got punched in the head by the new cruiserweight champion. The two brawled for a bit and then it was over.

What a weird show this really was. 

Before the next match, the Starettes danced again.

No Disqualification Match:
Devon Storm vs. Sabu (w/ Bill Alfonso)

WWA - The Revolution 2002 -  Devon Storm vs. Sabu
OK, forget what I said about the last match, this was the best match on the card so far by a good mile.

OK, so it went nigh on 20 minutes, and OK so there were enough blown spots to fill an entire episode of Botchamania, but I don't care. It was fun. 

Although it was technically a No DQ match, there wasn't much of the usual garbage that you'd get in these kinds of matches around this time period. A single chair made it into the ring and a single table was set up outside the ring, and that was it. Otherwise, the NO DQ rule was there simply so that the two could spend a lot of time messing up spots on the floor.

All botches aside, this was ridiculously enjoyable and a highlight of the show that came to an end when Bill Alfonso swung a chair at Devon Storm, missed, and struck Sabu. The former Crowbar got the cover, the count, and the match.
Your Winner: Devon Storm 

The two weren't done yet. As Devon Storm staggered up the entranceway, selling the match of a lifetime, Fonzie handed Sabu a chair which the Homicidal, Suicidal, Genocidal Maniac promptly threw at the man who'd just beaten him. 

Fonzie then made his way to the entrance carrying a table upon which Storm was placed so that Sabu could jump off the video screen onto his rival. It was pretty much the exact same spot Devon had done to Norman Smiley at The Inception.

Meanwhile, backstage, Lodi stitched up Lenny Lane's shorts but it was made to look like he was doing him up the bum, you know, because gay = LOL, apparently. 

Lenny Lane & Lodi vs. Rick Steiner & Ernest 'The Cat' Miller

WWA - The Revolution 2002 -  Ernest 'The Cat' Miller grew some hair
Before the bell, Ernest Miller promised that if he and Rick Steiner lost, he would personally "pucker up and kiss Mark Madden's nasty, fat ass."

Fortunately, there would be no ass-kissing tonight. Miller and Steiner destroyed the "girly-boys" (Miller's words) in about 30 seconds and that was that.

What I don't get, is why a company would have both Rick and Scott Steiner on their show doing pretty much nothing and decide not to book them as a tag team. The Steiner Brothers could have easily done the same beat down of Lenny Lane and Lodi and it would have likely gotten a much bigger pop for the sheer novelty of having Rick & Scott teaming up. Meanwhile, Ernest Miller was still popular enough (and talented enough on the microphone) that he could have responded to Disco Inferno's challenge and made it work.

Still, this was the same company that booked Brian Christopher (God rest his soul) in a world title match, so who knows what was going on there.
Your Winners: Rick Steiner and Ernest Miller 

Afterwards, Miller beat up Madden so much that both Madden and Borash fell out of their seats. 

World Wrestling All-Stars World Heavyweight Championship
WWA World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Jarrett vs. Brian Christopher 

WWA - The Revolution 2002 - Jeff Jarrett is your WWA Champion
I take back what I said earlier about WWA only having one title belt to represent two championships. They'd clearly invested in a new belt for their world title and made the belt they'd previously used for their world title as their new cruiserweight title.


Speaking of classy, Brian Christopher came down to the ring to his WWF Too Cool theme which had the volume lowered on the broadcast to prevent copyright issues. 

Next, Jeff Jarrett responded to some fans at ringside telling him he sucked by yelling "I may suck, but you swallow!"

This was followed by Christopher grabbing the microphone and first yelling something incomprehensible like "WHEHEHEH JILLA MILLA FLIBAMEHHHH" and then saying "Hey! Jeff Jarrett doesn't suck, he swallows!" as if he'd just come up with the most original insult in the world.

Look, I hate to speak ill of the dead, but the start of this match was not Brian Lawler's finest hour.
"I heard his partner has a better worm," quipped Madden as Lawler stood around in his knickers looking all surprised.

Fortunately, things did get better and this turned into a decent match. Not world title main event decent, sure, but at least decent enough that it would have likely been well received on the mid-card of a Raw or Nitro broadcast. 

The two wrestled a deliberate, traditional Memphis style match that culminated with modern-day shenanigans which then ruined any kind of good favour the two had earned with the crowd.

Brawling on the outside, the challenger accidentally kicked the referee, taking him out of action. He then got into the ring and hit the Hip Hop Drop, prompting a second referee (Slick Johnson) to rush in to make the count, only for the first referee to pull him out of the ring and argue that only he (Referee 1) was eligible to count the fall.

This led to both zebras arguing outside the ring, allowing Jarrett to bash his opponent over the head with a guitar. He made the cover, Referee 1 then made the count only for Slick Johnson to pull him out of the ring which made no sense whatsoever. After all, if anyone had a legitimate claim at officiating the match, it was referee 1. 

Anyway, stupidity finally ceased, Jarett hit The Stroke, driving Christopher into the WWA title belt, and three seconds later it was all -thankfully- over.
Your Winner and Still WWA Champion: Jeff Jarrett

Afterwards, Jarrett celebrated with his title before Tantric's Revolution played over a video of highlights from the event (not that there were many) and the ring announcer thanked us all for coming.

So, was World Wrestling All-Stars' The Revolution PPV as bad as their first event, The Inception?

No, but that's a bit like saying that being run over by a car isn't as bad as being run over by a truck. It was still a pretty painful experience. OK, so some of the action was pretty decent, and yours truly enjoyed the Sabu/Devon Storm match far more than I ever could have imagined. The cruiserweight title match didn't suck, and if you like the kind of "everybody flip around and do lots of spots" multi-man matches that would become a TNA trademark for years, then you'll no doubt enjoy the opening contest.

Still, the production values were awful, the booking decisions bizarre, and the decision to have Mark Madden and Disco Inferno loudly wish that Puppet and Teo would just literally murder each other was beyond words. 

If you're a glutton for punishment, watch this show. Otherwise, stay away.

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Thursday, 4 February 2021

PPV REVIEW: WWF Unforgiven 2001

WWE / WWF Unforgiven 2001 - Event Poster
September 23, 2001
Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

WWF Unforgiven 2001 was the first World Wrestling Federation Pay Per View to be held in the wake of 9/11.

Unsurprisingly, and for good reason, this meant that the company were flying their star-spangled banner high, with a certain sense of American patriotism underlying their recent programming. 

It also meant that their own All-American Hero Kurt Angle -already serving as the #2 babyface behind The Rock at this point in time- was now perhaps more popular than he'd ever been, serving as the red, white, and blue hero that fans could truly get behind in this time of national healing.

So it was entirely fitting that it would be Angle who tonight would take on an outside threat - not the terrorists- but the leader of the invading Alliance group, WWF Champion, Stone Cold Steve Austin.

It was also fitting that this should all happen in Angle's own home state.

Would goodwill -and a tight ankle lock- prevail? Or would this be one instance where the evil outside force triumphed?

Let's find out by heading down to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania for the last Unforgiven show to be promoted under the WWF banner before the company changed its name to WWE.

WWE / WWF Unforgiven 2001 - Jennifer Holiday sang America The Beautiful

Please Rise for America the Beautiful

With the World Wrestling Federation still in full-blown patriot mode in the wake of 9/11, tonight’s show began with a stirring rendition of America the Beautiful courtesy of two-time Grammy-winner, Jennifer Holiday.

Credit where it’s due, Holiday not only had an awesome voice, she was pretty badass at working the crowd and looked genuinely touched by the applause she received.

From that touching moment, it was on to the violence and chaos of Unforgiven 2001.

Now I Dub Thee Unforgiven

WWE / WWF Unforgiven 2001 - Paul Heyman & Jim Ross called the event
Things got underway properly with a short promo reminding us of the heated rivalry between Kurt Angle and Stone Cold Steve Austin and, to a lesser extent, the ongoing rivalry between Booker T and The Rock.

We’d see all four men in action later in the show, but first, we got our usual greeting from Jim Ross and Paul Heyman.

Ladies and gentleman, Unforgiven was underway.

Four-Team Elimination Match for the World Wrestling Federation Tag Team Championship
WWF Tag Team Champions The Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray & D’Von Dudley) The Hardy Boyz (Matt & Jeff Hardy) vs. WWF European Champion The Hurricane & Lance Storm vs. The Big Show & Spike Dudley

Having only just recently beaten Kane & The Undertaker for the tag team titles, Bubba Ray & D’Von Dudley our them online in a very fun opening match in which everyone played their roles perfectly.

The early going saw a lot of fast-paced action between The Hardy Boyz, Lance Storm, Hurricane and Spike Dudley, all of which delighted an audience who were so loud you’d be forgiven for thinking you were watching a Rock ‘n’ Roll Express match back in the 80s.

WWE / WWF Unforgiven 2001 - Lance Storm and The Hurricane teamed up in the opening match
Hurricane was especially popular which was interesting, partly because he’d only been doing the gimmick for a few weeks, but mostly because he was an Alliance member and thus technically a heel.

Even Big Show played his part well, sitting on the sidelines before coming in for some crowd-popping clobbering time and letting Little Spike jump off his shoulders to the outside, flattening everyone else in the match.

Show even got the first elimination, catching Lance Storm coming off the top and chokeslamming him into oblivion before Matt Hardy put Spike away to eliminate that team also.

With the two makeshift teams out of the way, that left us with the two established duos to go at it and give us everything you’d expect from a Dudleyz/Hardyz battle.

After an enjoyable effort, the champs hit the 3D on Matt Hardy only for Jeff to break it up with a last-minute Swanton.

Alas, it wasn’t enough, as Jeff and Bubba fell to the outside, a beaten up D’Von draped an arm over Matt to retain the gold.
Your Winners and Still WWF Champions: The Dudley Boyz

WWE / WWF Unforgiven 2001 - Stephanie McMahon flirts with Rob Van Dam
Out in the back, Stephanie McMahon let Hardcore Champion Rob Van Damn know that if there was anything she could do -you know, anything- to help him beat Chris Jericho, then she was more than happy to.

Of course, being The Whole Damn Show, RVD didn’t need anyone’s help, though he did get Steph’s permission to claim the biggest dressing room in the arena for himself.

Back in the arena, Michael Cole interviewed Kurt Angle’s mom and brother about the homestate hero’s championship match against Steve Austin.

Honestly, it was only slightly less awkward than the time Todd Pettingill interviewed The Steiner Brothers’ family back at Summerslam 1993.

Raven (w/ Terri) vs. Perry Saturn

These two had a memorable bout back at WCW Fall Brawl 1998 when they feuded over Saturn trying to free The Flock.

Three years later, they were at war again, this time because Saturn had fallen in love with a mop and dumped the ever-gorgeous Terri in favor of the cleaning appliance, prompting the former Marlena to align herself with Raven and put Moppy through a wood chipper.

The story was so dumb that Jim Ross and Paul Heyman decided to spend more time talking about their history in WCW and the aforementioned freeing of The Flock. It was a smart move.

The actual match was OK, but nobody really seemed to care and even the best spots of the match were played out to almost total silence.

In the end, Saturn got the win and the crowd popped for the first time in the whole match.
Your Winner: Saturn

WWE / WWF Unforgiven 2001 - Lilian Garcia interviews Christian about his match with Edge
Since King of the Ring, Christian had become increasingly jealous of his brother Edge, eventually turning on him in front of their hometown audience in Toronto on Raw.

It had been a well-done story so far and was about to come to a head with Christian challenging Edge for the Intercontinental Championship.

First, however, the future Captain Charisma stopped by the backstage area to cut a decent promo, telling Lillian Garcia that turning his back on Edge was worth it if it meant him becoming our new IC champion.

World Wrestling Federation Intercontinental Championship
WWF Intercontinental Champion Edge vs. Christian

Christian! Christian! At last, you’re on your own!

What a theme that was!

Speaking of themes, this was the first WWF PPV in which Edge used Never Gonna Stop by Rob Zombie as his theme.

WWE / WWF Unforgiven 2001 - Intercontinental Championship match: Christian vs. Edge
As for the actual match, while I doubt anyone would consider it an all-time classic (and certainly not an instant one), it was still a very good contest.

After a fired up Edge got his revenge on Christian by beating him from pillar to post, the match turned into a story of the two brothers and tag team partners who knew each other so well that they would constantly trade the advantage and counter each other’s moves.

Things got more heated and more violent until Christian brought in a couple of chairs ready to hit the Con-Chair-to on his brother.

Instead, Edge made a comeback and looked to hit the same move only for the referee to grab the chair out of his hand.

As the champion argued with the official, Christian grabbed the second chair, whacked his opponent in the goolies with it and became -at least for the time being- our new champion.
Your Winner and NEW Intercontinental Champion: Christian

You know, it’s only at this stage that I realised Paul Heyman was wearing an ECW Anarchy Rulz laminate. I wonder if they let him in the arena with that acting as his backstage pass?

Stevie Richards Gets Kronik

WWE / WWF Unforgiven 2001 - Jonathan Coachman interviews Kane & Undertaker about their match with Kronik
I noticed this as Heyman and JR introduced us to a video package introducing our next match.

Stevie Richards had recently attacked The Undertaker in retribution for the American Bad Ass breaking up Right to Censor months back.

The two met on Smackdown, only for Brian Adams and Brian Clarke to appear and attack ‘Taker. That, ladies and gentleman, would lead us to tonight’s Ill-fated WCW tag team title match, but not before the champions, Taker and Kane, stopped by for a few words with Jonathan Coachman.

In a solid interview, Undertaker told Coach he had no problem getting beaten up by Kronik but was more than a little miffed at Richards reminding everyone about the RTC when that was the one thing most people wanted to forget about.

Tonight, he swore that he and Kane would drop Adams & Clarke on their heads.

World Championship Wrestling World Tag Team Championship
WCW Tag Team Champions Kane & The Undertaker vs. Kronik (Brian Adams & Bryan Clarke w/ Steven Richards)

WWE / WWF Unforgiven 2001 - Steven Richards leads Kronik into battle
OK, so before we get into this legendarily awful match, here’s some fun facts.

This was Kronik’s first PPV appearance since WCW Superbrawl Revenge in February of that year.

It was Brian Adam’s first WWF PPV appearance since Survivor Series ‘97 and Bryan Clark’s first WWF PPV since Wrestlemania 10 when he lost to Earthquake in a mere 35 seconds. Of course, that’s not including the Adam Bomb vs. Kwang match that served as a dark match for Summerslam ‘95.

Speaking of Bryan Clark, did you see his mugshot after he got arrested last year? I could barely tell it was the same guy.

Now, onto one of the most famous bad matches of all time.

Was it really all that terrible? And was it really all Kronik’s fault?

I mean, not really.

Sure, it was certainly bad, and sure, Adams & Clark weren’t exactly five-star caliber performers, but at least they were in shape.

Undertaker and Kane (especially Kane) both looked heavy and sluggish, while Kane was visibly hampered by his recent staph infection.

All four men moved at snail's pace. Basic moves like a neck breaker looked like they were being performed by a kid on his first day at wrestling school rather than by veteran performers, and Adams even managed to mess up his shoulder breaker on Kane even though it was one of only five or so moves he had in his repertoire and had done it countless times.

Even worse though, was The Undertaker, who couldn’t even be bothered to make his moves look like they connected. Punches and a knee lift, in particular, landed in the next state over and looked dumb.

So yes, it was bad, but it wasn’t the worse thing you’ve ever seen.

Long-time readers of Retro Pro Wrestling will know that all bad matches are compared to the worst match of all time, Adrian Adonis vs. Uncle Elmer at Wrestlemania 2, and it certainly wasn’t that bad.

I’m also inclined to agree with RD at Wrestlecrap who quite rightly noted that this was nowhere near as awful as ‘Taker’s Wrestlemania 9 match with Giant Gonzales, but yeah, it was still pretty terrible all the same.

In the end, Kane and Taker won and Kronik would never be seen on WWF television ever again.
Your Winners and Still WCW Tag Team Champions: Kane & Undertaker

WWE / WWF Unforgiven 2001 - Tazz speaks to Booker T and Shane McMahon
Backstage, Tazz annoyed his Alliance cohorts Shane McMahon and Booker T by telling them that it would be pretty embarrassing if they couldn’t beat The Rock in tonight’s two-on-one handicap match.

Across the arena, Stephanie McMahon hung around outside RVD’s dressing room, flirting with him through the door and insisting that if he beat Jericho it would be a great birthday present for her and, in return, she’d make his time in the Alliance very -ahem- pleasurable.

Little did Steph know that Jericho was stood behind her. Y2J mocked Steph and her recent boob job then headed to the ring for our next match.

World Wrestling Federation Hardcore Championship
WWF Hardcore Champion Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Jericho

Make no mistake about it, Rob Van Dam had come into his own as a true superstar during the Invasion angle and was by far the most popular member of The Alliance.

Before, I mentioned how The Hurricane was receiving large pops despite his Alliance membership making him a heel by default. The reception Shane Helms got however was nothing compared to the kind of ovation that greeted RVD on every show throughout the invasion.

His popularity could be partly explained by his cooler-than-cool character, and partly because every time he stepped foot in the ring he had awesome matches like this one with Chris Jericho.

Like the E/C match from earlier, this one may not be in anyone’s top five matches of all time, but it was still incredibly good and utterly compelling from start to finish.

Exactly what you’d imagine a match between these two to be like, albeit even better thanks to the freedom afforded to them by hardcore rules, this was easily the best match on the show so far.

However, like all good things, this one had to come to an end, and did so when Stephanie McMahon distracted her nemesis Y2J, giving RVD the chance to plant his opponent and flatten him with a match-winning frog splash.
Your Winner and Still Hardcore Champion: Rob Van Dam

WWE / WWF Unforgiven 2001 - The Rock faced Booker T for the WCW title
No one gets as high as Rob Van Dam,” said Paul Heyman as we watched the replay of the five-star frog splash. 

Heyman absolutely knew what he was doing with that line.

Out in the back, Shane O’ Mac reminded Booker T that the most important thing was simply bringing the WCW title back to the Alliance regardless of who won. Clearly, we’d see some dissension in the ranks tonight.

Prior to that match, we got another video package that featured Rey Mysterio’s old WCW theme music as the soundtrack.

World Championship Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship Handicap Match
WCW World Heavyweight Champion The Rock vs. Booker T and Shane McMahon

Sadly, this one was pretty disappointing.

Sure, it had its flashes of excitement and the crowd certainly appreciated the big moments such as The Rock popping up to his feet and stopping Shane in his tracks just as he was about to land a ‘Shane-O Elbow,’ but between those moments were long -and I mean *long* periods were very little of note happened.

WWE / WWF Unforgiven 2001 - The Rock faced Booker T for the WCW title
Things picked up as the match went into the finish, but by that point, the whole thing had dragged on for what felt like an eternity so it was almost impossible to give a crap.

In the end, The Rock won this mediocre contest with a rock bottom. That was bad news for Booker T. Despite having an extra man on his team, a clearly biased referee (Nick Patrick) working in his favor and a run-in from Test, he still wasn’t able to win the match, making him look like a chump.
Your Winner and Still WCW Champion: The Rock

Backstage, we were reminded of the bizarre storyline in which we were supposed to believe Torrie Wilson had it bad for US Champ and William Regal’s assistant, Tajiri.

In Regal’s office, The Commissioner declared that he’d been thinking of banning anyone from being at ringside during Tajriri’s match with Rhyno in order to prevent shenanigans.

Understandably upset, Tajiri and Torrie tugged on Regal’s heartstrings until he gave the WCW beauty permission to accompany her man to ringside.

Speaking of WCW beauties, over at WWF New York, we were supposed to believe that WWF had simply allowed Alliance member Stacy Kiebler to saunter into the venue and occupy the stage despite the two factions being at war.

The former Miss Hancock showed us a video of her shaving her legs in the bath which was set to Sunny’s old theme music. Paul Heyman nearly had a heart attack at the very sight, acting as if Stacy was, I don’t know, visibility masturbating rather than just tending to her personal grooming routine.

Look, I’m not saying Stacy wasn’t stunning, but I’m not sure if a woman shaving her legs is really as hot as Paul E. made it out to be.

World Championship Wrestling United States Championship
WCW U.S. Champion Tajiri (w/ Torrie Wilson) vs. Rhyno

WWE / WWF Unforgiven 2001 - Rhyno faced Tajiri for the US title
So, here we had two men who (at the time) were best known as ECW stars fighting for a WCW title on a WWF PPV.

Though the match was clearly designed to provide a little breathing room between the two main events, it actually proved to be a fun match in its own right.

Relatively short and to the point, this enjoyable little battle came to an end when Rhyno gored Tajiri into oblivion to claim the gold.
Your Winner and NEW US Champion: Rhyno

Finally; after one last hype video, it was onto our main event.

World Wrestling Federation Championship
WWF Champion Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Kurt Angle

The outcome of this match was always a foregone conclusion.

Kurt Angle was the All-American babyface competing in his home state just weeks after 9/11 with his family sitting in the front row, so there was no way he was losing tonight.

WWE / WWF Unforgiven 2001 - Steve Austin defended the US title against Kurt Angle

Thankfully, Angle and Austin made us forget about that for a while by telling a compelling story centered around both men’s previous neck injuries.

From a technical standpoint, this wasn’t as great as it could have been, but the story and psychology more than made up for it.

After a good effort, Angle made Austin tap to the ankle lock and won the match. However, Stone Cold visibility had his hand under the bottom rope.

No doubt this would be brought up the following night on raw.
Your Winner and NEW WWF Champion: Kurt Angle

Post-match, a short-haired Karen Angle led the Angle clan into the ring to celebrate with the new champion. 

Then, The Rock led the entire WWF roster to the ring to congratulate Angle.

It was a surprisingly emotional ending to the show.

And so, the All-American Hero had prevailed against the leader of the evil, outside invading force in a move that should not have surprised anybody.

Sure, the outcome of tonight's show may have been a forgone conclusion, and there wasn't much in the way of game-changing moments, but that doesn't make WWF Unforgiven 2001 a bad show.

You could argue that the underwhelming Rock/Booker T match, the Kronik disaster and nothing matches like Saturn vs. Raven made it a bad show, but that would perhaps be a bit overly harsh.

The main event, the hardcore title match, Edge vs. Christian, and even the opening multi-man tag match were all enjoyable enough to save Unforgiven from being a complete waste of time.

Not the best show in the world then, but certainly not the worst. 

Thursday, 3 September 2020

PPV REVIEW: WCW Superbrawl: Revenge (2001)

WCW Superbrawl Revenge 2001 - Event poster
February 18, 2001 
Nashville Municipal Auditorium,  Nashville, Tennessee.

By far the most frustrating thing about World Championship Wrestling wasn't all the dumb and terrible things they'd done over the years, it was how much better the company started getting towards the end of their run.

Sure, all of that dumb stuff had caused irrevocable harm and there was no way they could ever truly come back from all the damage that had been done, but from a creative stand point at least, WCW were starting to look good again.

Scott Steiner's reign of terror as WCW champion made for intriguing television -if not necessarily excellent matches- as he took credit for taking out all of the company's biggest stars one by one.

The cruiserweight division was getting a second wind with Chavo Guerrero at the top of the hierarchy, and though there was still plenty of WCWness about the whole company, a lot of their more idiotic decisions were behind them.

So, while all of that may have been too little, too late, it did make watching the company's final months far less painful than the torturous ordeal than the task of watching their 1999/2000 efforts.

Don't believe me? Here's what went down when the last ever Superbrawl show came live from Nashville, Tennessee.


WCW Superbrawl Revenge 2001 - Tony Schiavone & Scott Hudson called the event
Tonight’s opening video looked like something straight out of a horror trailer, with a pair of hands clinically cutting out words from a newspaper to form a ransom-style cut-and-paste note.

This being WCW, we never saw what the note said, but as it was being made, words like ‘psycho’ and ‘ego’ flashed on the screen.

Live in the arena, it was fireworks galore and a greeting from Tony Schiavone and Scott Hudson as the cameras panned over what was obviously a very small crowd, at least compared to WCW’s heyday.

Animal Hates Kidman for Some Reason

Schiavone and Hudson took us back to the Superbrawl pre-show where Road Warrior Animal inexplicably beat up Billy Kidman for no known reason.

Six-Man, Four-Corners Elimination Match
Evan Karagias vs. Jamie Knoble vs. Yang vs. Kaz Hayashi vs. Shannon Moore vs. Shane Helms

WCW Superbrawl Revenge 2001 - Shane Helms won the opening match
The backstage attack was just a way to write Kidman out of this match and replace him with Shane Helms.

With the other five competitors in the ring, the announcers speculated who the sixth participant was going to be as if it was ever going to be anybody other than Shane Helms.

Honestly, these six men had opened up a large number of WCW PPVs over the past six months. Sometimes it was in a ladder match such as at Starrcade 2000, other times it was a straight-up three-team tag, but it was always these same six men opening the show in some way other another.

Most of those matches had been exciting, lightning-fast spotfests that were a thrill to watch despite not having much to them beyond lots of interesting flips.

This was more of the same, but it fell short when compared to its predecessors because there was an insane amount of botching going on that made it look sloppy and uncoordinated.

At one point, Yang screwed up three moves in a row and made himself look ridiculous. Fortunately, Jamie Knoble tombstoned him a few seconds later and put him out of his misery.

The final moments came down to Yang’s partner Kaz Hayashi and Shane Helms who, to their credit, gave us the most solid and gripping part of the match.

Helms got the win with a Vertebraker after the better part of 20 minutes, ending a contest which was still pretty good, but spoiled somewhat by all the screw-ups.
Your Winner: Shane Helms

Post-match, the announcers showed us some security camera footage of Chavo Guerrero approaching, and apparently striking a deal with, Road Warrior Animal and Ric Flair.

It was suggested that maybe Animal has taken out Kidman to help Chavo, though quite why that would be nobody knew.

The Misfits Are Over and Its No Laughing Matter

WCW Superbrawl Revenge 2001 - Hugh Morrus cut a backstage promo on The Wall
In some pre-recorded comments, Hugh Morrus talked about General Rection as if he was a different person.

Morrus had nothing but hatred in his heart after Rection had taken The Wall into the Misfits In Action only for the temporarily named Sgt. AWOL to turn his back on him and join fellow defector, Chavo.

The MIA was over and Morrus wanted revenge.

More Backstage Stuff

My lord, they were back to cramming a thousand ‘tween-match segments into 90 seconds again.

WCW Superbrawl Revenge 2001 - Ric Flair consults Scott Steiner with Midajah standing by
After the security footage and the Morrus promo, we saw a tuxedo-clad Ric Flair interrupt the shoulder massage that Scot Steiner was getting from Midajah.

Steiner had cut some scathing, obscenity-laden promos against Flair in the past but they were now friends and Flair had an envelope that would help Steiner end Kevin Nash’s career.

Then, Commissioner Lance Storm stopped Kronik as they entered the arena and ordered Bryan Clark to go and get checked over by a doctor before he was cleared to wrestle.

The Wall vs. Hugh Morrus

This started as a fairly enjoyable big-man brawl, but it didn't have enough about it to keep it engaging for very long.

After almost ten minutes, Morrus hit the No Laughing Matter on The Wall to get the win after a mediocre contest.
Your Winner: Hugh Morrus

Morrus hit a second moonsualt after the bell and was surprisingly very over with the live crowd.

Konnan Wants Revenge

Get it? Because the show was called Superbrawl: Revenge so everyone was out for revenge, including Konnan.

He wanted revenge on Flair and Animal for the attack on Kidman, but could only get to Animal, who despite being an all-time legend was now just Flair’s muscle.

The Road Warrior and the K-Dog got into a brawl which was then broken up by security.

A video package followed showing us that the Natural Born Thrillers had broken up after Shawn Stasiak & Mark Jindrak got sick of being the lesser team compared to tag champions Chuck Palumbo & Sean O’Haire.

There was no mention of where Mike Sanders was in all this.

World Championship Wrestling World Tag Team Championship
WCW World Tag Team Champions Chuck Palumbo & Sean O’Haire vs. Shawn Stasiak & Mark Jindrak

WCW Superbrawl Revenge 2001 - Chuck Palumbo & Sean O'Haire
Before the bell, Stasiak got himself some cheap heat by taking to the microphone and insulting the local sports team. He followed this by saying ‘note to self,’ then adding ‘the next time we walk into this town you should all get on your knees and worship the ground we walk on.

That was clearly a note to the audience, not himself, but fair play to the lad for trying.

As the tag champs made their way to the ring, Jindrak revealed a microphone of his own and cut a cringe-inducing promo telling the challengers that they would be the ones to get on their knees when they kissed their asses goodbye.

When the match got underway, it turned out to be a decent outing, albeit a little rushed.

I’ve often thought that if WCW had never gone under and was still active today, we would have seen all four of these men pushed towards the main event eventually.

I’m not saying that’s a good thing or that I necessarily agree with it, but from the way they were portrayed, it seemed kind of inevitable.

Palumbo spent the majority of the match getting his ass beat, which was a bit of a stretch given the size of him, but to be fair, both teams were still relatively new and didn’t have the experience to give us anything that the basic tag team formula.

After a long while, O’Haire got the hot tag, cleaned house and hit a Seanton Bomb on Stasiak for the win.
Your Winners and Still Tag Team Champions: Chuck Palumbo & Sean O’Haire

Backstage, Dustin Rhodes claimed that Ric Flair had tried to keep him out of WCW and somehow this meant that Rhodes would now challenge Rick Steiner for the US title.

World Championship Wrestling World Cruiserweight Championship
WCW World Cruiserweight Champion Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

WCW Superbrawl Revenge 2001 - Rey Mysterio Jr. challenged Chavo Guerrero for the cruiserweight title
No Tygress. Presumedly she was a victim of WCW’s cost-cutting measures.

Also, it’s worth pointing out how badass Chavo’s theme music was. It was basically Eddie Guerrero’s old LWO theme albeit with an awesome lead guitar mixed in.

The music wasn’t the only awesome thing.

As close as you were going to get in 2001 to the great Cruiserweight classics of the mid-90s, this was the best match Rey Mysterio had been involved in for some years, at least since he lost his mask. It was also one of Chavo Guerrero’s finest performances.

At this stage of the game, the best you could usually hope for from a WCW PPV match was that it would be decent, but this was on another level and was probably the best WCW PPV bout since the turn of the millennium, it not before that.

After an enthralling see-saw battle, Guerrero waffled Mysterio with a chair behind the referee’s back then hit a brainbuster to retain his title.
Your Winner and Still Cruiserweight Champion: Chavo Guerrero

Out in the back, Commissioner Storm warned Brian Adams that Kronik’s match was up right after our US title match. Adams didn’t want to compete without his partner but Storm didn’t care and booked it anyway.

A video package then showed us that Dustin had got this title shot after Kevin Nash held David Flair hostage and demanded it. The video also showed us that Mike Sanders was part of Flair’s stable, so that answers my earlier question.

World Championship Wrestling United States Championship
WCW United States Champion Rick Steiner vs. Dustin Rhodes

WCW Superbrawl Revenge 2001 - Rick Steiner defended the US title against Dustin Rhodes
This was OK. Nothing more. It looked as though Dustin was trying hard, but he was in there with Rick Steiner, who hadn’t really tried hard in years.

The good news is that this rather average match didn’t last long. The bad news is that it had almost exactly the same finish as the last match.

In both bouts, the referee stopped the babyface from using a chair which gave the heel a chance to cheat. The only difference was that Chavo used a different chair while Steiner used an exposed turnbuckle, dropping Rhodes face-first into it to win the match.
Your Winner and Still US Champion: Rick Steiner

Post-match, Dustin got his Superbrawl: Revenge by propping Steiner in the corner and kicking him swiftly in the bollocks.

Pointless Backstage Stuff

Out in the back, Lance Storm was busy preparing for his match when Ric Flair came and told him to make sure that anybody who wasn’t in their stable was booted out of the arena after their match.

Flair also wanted Storm to ensure that the winner of the upcoming Totally Buff/Kronik match got a tag team title shot.

Across the arena, Storm’s scheduled opponent, Ernest Miller was getting pumped up with Diamond Dallas Page giving him a pep talk and insisting that he had to get the Comissionershio back because Flair had gotten rid of everybody else and now it was down to just the two of them.

Totally Buff (The Total Package Lex Luger & Buff Bagwell) vs. Kronik (Brian Adams & Bryan Clarke)

WCW Superbrawl Revenge 2001 - Lex Luger and Buff Bagwell - Totally Buff
Before the match, Totally Buff cut a really long and largely terrible promo in which they spoke for about fifty hours without actually saying anything of note.

The whole promo told us stuff we already knew:

  • They were part of Ric Flair’s stable
  • Bryan Clarke wasn’t cleared to compete.
  • The winners of the match got a tag title shot.

We’d already been told all of this, so why Luger and Bagwell had to spend so long going over it again is anyone’s guess.

Anyway, despite not being cleared to compete, Bryan Clarke seemingly came down to help his partner regardless but was immediately taken out by a Buff Bagwell chair shot.

The rest of the match was a decent though unspectacular handicap match in which Bagwell and Luger mugged Adams until his heroic comeback. It was at that point that Bryan Clarke turned on his partner and drilled him with a German Suplex...

...Except he didn’t really because it was revealed that it was actually Mike Awesome doing a Bryan Clarke cosplay.

One Buff Blockbuster later and this was over.
Your Winners: Totally Buff

Afterwards, the real Bryan Clarke consoled his partner.

The two then went backstage where a Lance Storm ordered that they be thrown out of the building. Security tried to act, but Adams & Clarke destroyed them all.

As we went back to the arena, Schiavone and Hudson told us that Kronik were being ejected and that Konnan and Dustin Rhodes had already been thrown out.

Battle for the WCW Commissionership
WCW Commissioner Lance Storm vs. Ernest Miller (w/ Miss Jones)

WCW Superbrawl Revenge 2001 - Lance Storm 'If I can be serious for a minute"
It seriously feels as though Ernest Miller spent every single PPV since the turn of the millennium winning and losing the role of WCW Commissioner.

It was only back at WCW Sin that he regained the role for the nine millionth time after beating Mike Sanders but he’d since lost it again to Lance Storm and now had to try and get it back once more.

Before the bell, Lance Storm called himself the greatest technical wrestler in the sport which was surely a dig at Chris Benoit, who the WWF were calling the best technical wrestler.

Before he got to have his Canadian National Anthem played, however, The Cat interrupted him and called him a Power Ranger, which for some reason always makes this fan laugh out loud. The crowd were firmly behind Miller, who was amazingly really over in WCW’s final months.

He was also starting to get better as a wrestler and had perhaps the best PPV match of his career here against Storm. OK, so the bar wasn’t set terribly high to begin with, but this was still a fun little match.

Towards the end, Mike Sanders came out for no reason but got clocked by the ever-lovely Miss Jones.

That reminds me: No Major Gunns here, which is sad for obvious reasons.

While Jones beat up Sanders, Cat cracked Storm with the Feliner and regained the Commissioner role for the second time in as many PPVs.
Your Winner: Ernest Miller

Cat and Miss Jones celebrated after the match with their weird dancing.

After a video for our next match, Schiavone told us that Cat only resumed power at midnight so Ric Flair had him ejected from the building.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Kanyon

Of note, DDP was no longer using his Smells Like Teen Spirit theme and had Generic Jobber Theme #5579 instead.

WCW Superbrawl Revenge 2001 - Jeff Jarrett puts Diamond Dallas Page to sleepHe was supposed to face Jeff Jarrett, but since he’d challenger Kanyon to a match ‘anywhere, any time,’ Jarrett and Kanyon had decided that the place was here and the time was now.

What followed was a really enjoyable match with lots of unique spots from Innovator of Offence Kanyon and a nasty blade job from Page.

After a very fun contest, Jarrett’s interference helped Kanyon get the win via Flatliner.
Your Winner: Kanyon

Kanyon then took to the microphone to serve as ring announcer and reveal that Jarrett vs. Page would still go ahead.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Jeff Jarrett

Though it was neither as fast nor as furious as the last match, this was still a very good effort.

The end saw more interference, this time from Kanyon. It backfired, however, and resulted in Jarrett inadvertently blasting Kanyon with a guitar.

A Diamond Cutter later and Page was your victor.
Your Winner:  Diamond Dallas Page

Before the main event, CEO Ric Flair came out to join the commentary team.

World Championship Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship
WCW World Heavyweight Champion Scott Steiner (w/ Midajah) vs. Kevin Nash

WCW Superbrawl Revenge 2001 - Ric Flair presents WCW Champion Scott Steiner & Midajah
It’s amazing that WCW had lost so much money and were cutting costs left and right but still paid Michael Buffer to do the main event announcements. Either that, or he was paid directly by Time Warner.

As part of Steiner’s entrance, Buffer declared that Steiner was responsible for ending the careers of Sting, Booker T, and Sid Vicious,  none of whom had been seen since facing Big Poppa Pump.

Of course, Sid was gone because he horrifically broke his leg in a freak accident, but oh well.

Scotty didn’t appreciate being put over by Buffer and ordered him out of the ring so that he could talk about ending those men’s careers for himself.

Steiner then had the production crew play a clip of Sid breaking his leg over and over again. It was crass and tasteless and had this writer looking away from the screen until it was over.

I have no desire to ever look at that sickening sight.

WCW Superbrawl Revenge 2001 - Kevin Nash got no sympy from Scott Steiner
Ric Flair then entered the ring and told us that not only was the title on the line, but the loser would be forced to leave WCW.

Finally, after being attacked by the heels on Nitro, Kevin Nash was pushed to the ring in a wheelchair by two women dressed as sexy nurses.

“Kevin Nash, you come out here trying to get the sympy of the people,” said Steiner, noticing the leg cast Nash was wearing. “But you don’t get my sympy at all.”

From his wheelchair, Nash just looked at Steiner with a confused look on his face as if to ask ‘dude, WTF is sympy?’

Nash then revealed he wasn’t hurt at all (obviously), hit Steiner with the belt and won the title.

At least he appeared to until dastardly heel Flair made it two out of three falls.

On the outside, Steiner murdered Nash with a lead pipe but despite being a generic freak couldn’t lift Big Sexy snd get him back in the ring. To help him out, Flair then made it falls count anywhere and announced that Nash’s first fall didn’t count.

The actual wrestling part of the match was OK but there’d been so much overbooking and interference from Flair and Midajah the whole thing just came off as garbage.

Steiner eventually won by making Nash pass out to the Steiner Recliner, but the damage was done.
Your Winner and Still World Heavyweight Champion: Scott Steiner

This was probably the worst WCW PPV main event since Hogan/Warrior or maybe that First Blood fiasco between Flair and Hogan.

It was beyond awful and really ruined what was otherwise a decent show.

I mean that sincerely, despite a few blips, Superbrawl: Revenge had a lot of bright spots.

OK, so it was nowhere near as good as Starrcade 2000 or January’s Sin Show, but the Chavo/Mysterio match was a thing of beauty, the opening few matches were good and Page/Kanyon was a blast.

But that main event, man was it ever bad.

I started this review saying the most frustrating thing about WCW was that they started getting much better toward the end but I take that back. The most frustrating thing was sitting through that abomination of a main event.

Watching that and knowing WCW would soon be out of business, I have no sympy for them at all.

Other reviews of 2001 pro wrestling events: 
More WCW Superbrawl reviews:
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Retro Pro Wrestling

New reviews of classic WWF/WWE events recalling every moment from Wrestlemania 1 - 30. You'll also find reviews of WCW, ECW, TNA and the occasional indie event, along with a look at old school magazines, merchandise and more.