Mega Powers Running Wild!

The legendary 'Macho man' Randy Savage teams up with 'The Immortal' Hulk Hogan to take on Ted Dibiase and Andre The Giant in the first ever WWF Summerslam!

Shawn Micahels vs. Mankind

The Heartbreak Kid defends the WWF Championship against Mankind in a thrilling main event at WWF In Your House: Mind Games.

The Birth of the nWo

From Hulk Hogan's shocking turn at WCW Bash at the Beach 1996 to the addition of Ted Dibiase, THe Giant Syxx and more, relive the very beginning of the New World Order.

Austin 3:16 Says I Just Kicked Your Ass

It's one of the most famous promos of all time; Stone Cold Steve Austin wins the 1996 King of The Ring and serves notice on all the WWF superstars. Check it out in our complete review

Wrestlemania 12 Review

The boyhood dream comes true as Shawn Michaels battles champion Bret 'The Hitman' Hart in a classic 1-hour iron man match. Plus, Diesel vs. Undertaker and more.

WCW Fall Brawl 1996 Review

Was Sting in cahoots with the New World Order? Would Lex Luger be able to get along with the Four Horsemen as they faced the nWo in War Games? Find out in this review

Showing posts with label Kronik. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kronik. Show all posts

Thursday, 14 May 2020

PPV REVIEW: WCW Fall Brawl 2000

September 17, 2000 
HSBC Arena in Buffalo, New York

The interesting thing about reviewing World Championship Wrestling pay per views from the year 2000 is that you occasionally remember you're reviewing the last ever edition of a particular event.


Such is the case tonight, when it occurs to me that this particular show was the final outing for WCW Fall Brawl, an event which began life as a Clash of the Champions special back in 1988, and had been its own distinctive PPV since 1993.

This was a show that had given us The Shockmaster back in '93.

This was a show that had given us a War Games match every year until 1999.

This was a show that had given us countless matches, some good (Benoit vs. Jericho) and some terrible (Jim Duggan vs. Berlyn) and now, ladies and gentlemen, it was all over.

Join me, as we head to Buffalo, New York for Fall Brawl's final fling.






Let's Play With Wrestling Figures

In an attempt to put over just how serious and intense tonight's main rivalries were, our opening video package interspersed real-life footage of the Scott Steiner/Goldberg and Kevin Nash/Booker T feuds with clips of each man's respective action figures.

This took us down into the arena for our opening pyro and a welcome from the ever-present Tony Schiavone. Along with his usual colleagues Scott Hudson and Mark Madden, Schiavone was hyped for tonight's show and ready to call the action.

World Championship Wrestling World Cruiserweight 100 Kilograms & Under Championship
Kwee-Wee (w/ Paisley) vs. Elix Skipper (w/ Major Gunns)

Major Gunns was apparently a reluctant member of Team Canada.

She spent most of her time on the outside looking gorgeous and actively rooting against Elix Skipper, encouraging the crowd to chant "USA! USA!" as the 100 Kilograms & Under Champion gave us a spirited performance.

Though this old-school fan still pines for the days when Rey Mysterio Jr, Psicosis, Juventud Guerrera and Dean Malenko were the heart and soul of the cruiserweight division, I have to admit that this was a very good effort from Skipper and Kwee Wee, both of whom were making their WCW PPV.

Towards the end of this enjoyable back-and-forth battle, Kwee Wee was attacked by Mike Sanders (remember him?) but that wasn't quite enough to put him away.

A short time later, however, Skipper hit his sweet-looking "Overdrive" finishing move to retain the gold.
Your Winner and Still Cruiserweight Champion: Elix Skipper

After a little banter from our announce team, it was straight onto the second match of the evening.

3 Count (Shannon Moore, Shane Helms, and Evan Karagious) vs. The Misfits in Action (Lieutenant Loco, Corporal Cajun, and Sgt. Awol)

Sgt. Awol was the new MIA recruit formerly known as The Wall. If you need a refresher, Leuitanant Loco was Chavo Guerrero and Corporal Cajun was Lash Larox.

This match was awesome. Sure, it wasn't an all-time classic, but then not every match has to be. This was supposed to be a fun, undercard filler match, and to that it absolutely delivered.

Entertaining from first to last, this came to a head when Corporal Cajun caught Shane Helms coming off the top rope, hit him with a tiger bomb and won what was probably the best match each participant had been involved in up to that point in their career.
Your Winners: The Misfits in Action

Backstage, Jeff Jarrett and Scott Steiner refused to give a little kid an autograph. Kevin Nash considered it, but when the kid revealed he could only pay $1.50, Big Sexy also declined and suggested the kid buy a soda.

Get it, because they were DIRTY, NO GOOD BAD GUYS!

First Blood Chain Match Match
The Harris Brothers (Ron & Don Harris) vs. Kronik (Brian Adams and Bryan Clarke)

The Harris Brothers had returned to WCW at the previous month's New Blood Rising and attacked Kronik, leading to tonight's match.

The encounter was initially billed as a chain match, but when Kronik hit the ring, Brian Adams challenged Ron and Don to a first blood match and it was apparently accepted.

Don was then chained to Adams while Bryan Clarke was linked to Ron Harris for what turned out to be a slightly-better-than-expected hoss brawl.

Though nothing special happened, it was a wild and out of control that didn't suck half as much as anything involving The Harris Brothers usually did.

At one point, Ron Harris got busted open but the referee had taken a tumble.

When he came to, the first thing he saw was Brian Adams bleeding and thus the bell was called for.
Your Winners: The Harris Brothers

Post-match, Adams and Clarke saw off the twins and got their revenge on Billy Silverman by hitting him with High Times

Bringing the US Title Back Home

Backstage, Pamela Paulshock and her boobs interviewed General Rection about his US title match with Lance Storm.

Flanked by the rest of the Misfits in Action (sans Major Gunns), Rection vowed to beat Lance and bring both Gunns and the US title back home to the stages. He also dedicated the match to his "friend and mentor," Hacksaw Jim Duggan.

On cue, Duggan himself arrived on the scene and announced that The Cat had made him the special enforcer for the match. If you didn't watch this segment and immediately smell a Hacksaw heel turn brewing, you've clearly never watched pro wrestling.

World Championship Wrestling United States Canadian Champion Lance Storm (w/ Major Gunns) vs. General Rection

Special enforcer: Hacksaw Jim Duggan

If he could be serious for a moment, Lance Storm expressed his disbelief that everybody in the audience hadn't already packed up and moved to Canada, but was sure that they would do after he beat Rection on tonight's show.

Following the obligatory playing of the Canadian National Anthem, a trim-looking General Rection made his way out for what was surely the best match of his career.

Yes, I know I said the exact same thing about the other members of MIA earlier, but this really was a good match that proved the former Hugh Morrus was capable of being taken seriously, if not as a main eventer, then at least as a solid, mid-upper-mid star.

Or at least he could have been if he hadn't been named after a boner.

After a good match, Hacksaw predictably turned heel and levelled Rection with the 2x4. Lance applied the Canadian Mapleleaf and this one was over.
Your Winner and Still US Champion: Lance Storm

Afterwards, Duggan tore off his referee t-shirt to reveal a Canadian flag t-shirt underneath and proceeded to beat up the rest of Misfits in Action.

Rather than responding to Duggan's treachery with the loud chorus of boos he and the WCW Braintrust had been hoping for, the crowd merely looked on in silence.

This wasn't shocked, stunned "Brock just beat the streak" silence. This was more like "well, yeah, we saw that coming and it was kind of dumb and we don't want to react silence."

Seriously. This was Hacksaw Jim Duggan. At this stage of the game, nobody wanted to boo him.

Mean Gene is a Bad Ass

Out in the back, Mean Gene Okerlund interviewed Mike Sanders and The Natural Born Thrillers, and he wasn't taking any crap from them.

Okerlund called Sanders a 'prick' then told Palumbo and O'Haire to blow it out of their ass when they threatened to beat him up.

For his part, Sanders cut a compelling promo about how it was the young guy's time to shine, but really, it was Okerlund who was the star of the show here.

Outside the arena, The Natural Born Thrillers' opponents, The Filthy Animals, emerged from a limousine with a mystery partner, a big-looking dude with a towel over his head to hide his identity.

The crew, along with their other partner, Big Vio, made their way out to the entranceway, where they revealed that the big guy was none other than Mr Wonderful Paul Orndorff.

This wasn't as random as it might seem at first. Orndorff was the lead trainer at the WCW Power Plant and therefore had played a part in training The Natural Born Thrillers.

Plus, this was New York, were Orndorff had been a major star thanks to his rivalry with Hulk Hogan.

Seven vs. Seven Elimination Match
The Natural Born Thrillers (Mark Jindrak, Sean O'Haire, Chuck Palumbo, Reno, and Johnny The Bull, Mike Sanders, and Shawn Stasiak) vs. The Filthy Animals (Konnan, Rey Mysterio Jr., Juventud Guerrera, Disco Inferno, Big Vito, Paul Orndorff and Tygress)

For the most part, this was a really good match. Fast-paced and hard-hitting, the right decision was made to have The Natural Born Thrillers eliminate the majority of The Filthy Animals and look pretty dominant in the process.

Things then took a nasty turn when, with only he and Rey Mysterio Jr. left, Mr Wonderful made the hot tag.

Looking really old but also in tremendous shape, the legendary grappler took his proteges to school, avoiding almost all of their offence and kicking their asses all over the ring. He even got a three count on Johnny The Bull after landing his trademark piledriver to a huge ovation.

When he tried a second piledriver on Sean O'Haire, however, something went awry and Orndorff hurt himself, re-aggravating an old neck injury and lying motionless in the middle of the ring.

Improvising, Rey and Tygress took the fight to the Natural Born Thrillers as referees and EMTs rushed the ring to check on Orndorff. That led to Charles Robinson throwing the whole thing out.
No Contest

As he was stretchered out, the crowd gave Orndorff a respectful standing ovation. Up until his nasty injury, that had been a tremendous match.

Torrie Wilson is a Bitch

Backstage, Pamela Paulshock told Billy Kidman that he would be competing against one of the most dangerous match types ever, a Pittsburg Plunge Scaffold Match. She meant 'competing in,' of course, but there you go.

Offering a response, Kidman and his new ally, Madusa cut a largely terrible and cringe-inducing promo which mainly consisted of them both calling Torrie Wilson a bitch several times and Madusa promising to "demoralise" her.

Demoralise: To make someone lose hope or confidence.

Yeah Torrie, you better watch out. Madusa isn't going to physically hurt you, but she will damage your self-esteem.

Pittsburg Plunge Scaffold Match
Shane Douglas & Torrie Wilson vs. Billy Kidman & Madusa

Before the match, Shane Douglas took to the microphone to insist that it was actually Madusa who was the bitch. He then proceeded to outline the rules for us:

You win if you can reach your opponent's side of the raised platform and climb down a ladder.

Douglas was all bold and confident when he and Torrie were on the ground, but as soon as they got on the platform and it started to rise, he remembered he was a heel and started to act all scared and cowardly.

The match itself was about as good as every scaffold match you've ever seen, not very.

Madusa and Torrie almost immediately made it to their opposing sides, but instead of racing down the ladder to win the match, they both just kind of loitered around while Kidman and Douglas tried to have some kind of a wrestling match 20 ft in the air.

Eventually, Douglas knocked Madusa off the ladder and threw Kidman off the platform for the obligatory high spots, then allowed Torrie to climb down the ladder and win the match for their team.

This was not good.
Your Winners: Shane Douglas and Torrie Wilson

Out in the back, a fired-up Sting was looking forward to settling old scores with both The Great Muta and Vampiro in their upcoming triple threat match, but he was more looking forward to his guaranteed title shot on the following night's Nitro, and to once again having the world title around his waist.

Before he could finish speaking, The Icon was attacked by Jeff Jarrett, who wanted the title shot for himself and whom that potty-mouthed Gene Okerlund called a "bastard."

Mike Tenay Visits David Flair at Home

In a pre-recorded skit, Mike Tenay visited David Flair to ask him how his mental state was after it was revealed he wasn't the father of Stacy Kiebler's baby.

Tenay knocked on Flair's front door, gave him practically no time to answer, then knocked again, and again.

Finally, Flair appeared.

"Are you by yourself?" asked David.
"I'm all alone," lied Tenay, who clearly had a camera crew with him.

Once inside the house, it was revealed that Flair wasn't having a good time. His house was trashed, with newspapers strewn everywhere, discarded pizzas, beer bottles and lots of cigarette butts.

David himself was also a mess, sitting on the sofa in a state of numbness which was only broken by the occasional paranoid burst as he lept up to the window to look out for the real father of his baby.

Ignoring all of this, Mike Tenay decided it was more important to batter Flair with questions about who Kiebler's baby daddy might be rather than getting the young, deeply troubled man some help.

"Your father questioned my journalist integrity," Tenay told David.

Yeah? After this, I'm starting to question it too, Mike.

While all of this was largely awful, it did get funny at the end. David spotted the mailman and, like a dog on the attack, ran out and clotheslined the unsuspected man on the lawn before putting him in a figure-four.

I can't tell you why, but that last bit was hilarious.

Triple Threat Match
Vampiro (w/ The Insane Clown Possee) vs. The Great Muta vs. Sting

If you were ever going to watch a match on mute, this one would be it. Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J sent Tony Schiavone and Scott Hudson packing so that they could do commentary with Mark Madden. The duo spent the entire match rambling on about nothing.

It was as bad as it sounds.

The match itself wasn't that bad, but it was incredibly predictable.

Vampiro and The Great Muta were technically still teammates in The Dark Carnival but had apparently been having some dissension as of late. They started the match working together, but the fact that they'd eventually turn on one another was obvious from the start.

When the predictable happened, Sting took the advantage, battering everyone in sight with his trusty baseball bat before hitting a Scorpion Death Drop to win the match.
Your Winner: Sting

Afterwards, Vampiro and the ICP tried to attack Muta, but his long-time nemesis Sting pulled him out of harm's way.

What you talkin' 'bout, Mike?


Out in the back, Mike Awesome stepped off a retro bus in a complete 1970s outfit. Apparently, adopting a retro 70s gimmick meant that the former ECW star was no longer only attracted to fat women.

Back at Bash at the Beach 2000, Awesome had dismissed Pamela Paulshock as being nowhere near as attractive as a large BBW he was talking to. Tonight, however, he appeared to have come to his senses and asked the beauty if she wanted to go and 'make whoopee' with him.

He wasn't the only one who had the hots for Paulshock. That 70s Guy hinted that he had a "huge surprise" - the joke being that the surprise was diminutive actor, Garry Coleman.

Comically, Awesome said that Diff'rent Strokes was his favourite TV show from the 70s, only for Coleman to remind him that the show had mostly aired in the 1980s. He too then confessed to having a thing for Paulshock before walking off, leading to this great line from Mark Madden:

"Pamela Paulshock's breasts are bigger than Garry Coleman's whole body."

Ladies and gentlemen, that's the first thing Madden ever said that was actually funny.

Bunkhouse Brawl
Jeff Jarrett vs. Mike Awesome

Remember that old-school gimmick when wrestlers competing in no DQ brawls would sell the seriousness of the occasion by wearing street clothes?

Jeff Jarrett did and came ready for combat in jeans and. Tennessee Titans shirt, the latter of which was mostly used to raise the ire of several Buffalo Bills football players sitting at ringside.

Further annoying them, Jarrett took to the microphone for the classic ‘insult the local sports team’ promo. This would have been fine and pretty effective if the veteran performer hadn’t rambled on for several minutes.

A quick dig at the sports team, sure, but a long, drawn-out promo? There was no need for it and by the end, the crowd looked more bored than angry.

Fortunately, the match itself was much better.

Nobody had given Mike Awesome the memo shout wearing street clothes, so he wrestles this captivating brawl in his regular wrestling attire.

After a very good match, this one turned into Jeff Jarrett vs. Everybody in the World.

The Buffalo Bills players surrounded the ring and pushed Jarrett about a bit. When their help proved not enough to keep Jarrett down, Garry Coleman ran out but got smashed over the head with a guitar bigger than he was.

Finally, Sting came out to get revenge for Jarrett’s earlier attack. He planted his rival with the Scorpion Death Drop which was enough for Awesome to get the cover, the count, and the fall.
Your Winner: Mike Awesome

Our pre-match video package for the next contest told us that Goldberg had beaten up Midajah and put her through a table, so Scott Steiner retaliated by kidnapping Goldberg’s girlfriend because apparently real men settle their differences by abusing women.

This led to a backstage promo in which Steiner ranted to Mean Gene about he was a ‘loaded sex pistol ready to explode’ and that yes, he would kick Bill’s head in tonight.

Scott Steiner (w/ Midajah & Vince Russo) vs. Goldberg

Steiner wore a protective mask after getting his face caved in with a lead pipe by Goldberg on Nitro.

To retaliate, Midajah and her new boob job came out halfway through the match brandishing a lead pipe for Steiner to use on Goldberg.

Later, Vince Russo also came out to attack Goldberg, but his chest didn’t look half as good as Midajah’s.

With the odds stacked so heavily against him, Goldberg naturally lost, getting knocked unconscious and being declared out of it when Scotty slapped on the Steiner Recliner.

Before that, this was a pretty decent, hard-hitting big man match.
Your Winner: Scott Steiner

Afterwards, Russo ripped his slap nuts T-shirt off and stood over Goldberg in a pose. Say what you want about him, that was pretty funny.

Once the heels left, the Buffalo Bills once again crossed the guard rail to help Goldberg up.

A commercial for the following month’s Halloween Havoc followed, promising us that Sting was going to change into something amazing and groundbreaking at the show.

I can’t remember anything about Halloween Havoc 2000, but I’m willing to bet this idea was dropped and Sting didn’t change into anything.

Don’t Hate the Player, Hate The Game

That video was followed by a second which showed us how Kevin Nash had turned heel on Booker T and stole the WCW Championship thanks to shenanigans from the evil special guest referee, Jeff Jarrett.

In a backstage interview with Mean Gene, an amped-up Booker T swore revenge and promised to reclaim the title.

He finishes the promo with his new catchphrase, don’t hate the player, hate the game. Presumedly, this was Booker’s way of sewing the seeds for a feud with Triple H years later.

World Championship Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship Cage Match
WCW World Heavyweight Champion Kevin Nash vs. Booker T

Though it wasn’t exactly bad, nothing about this match felt like it was anything special.

Even the added attraction of a steel cage added nothing, and instead felt unnecessary.

Coming across like the sort of thing you might see killing ten minutes on Nitro, this mediocre match ended when Booker hit the Book End to reclaim the gold.
Your Winner and NEW WCW World Heavyweight Champion: Booker T

And that, dear readers, was that.







Featuring several matches which ranged from decent to good, Fall Brawl 2000 was one of the best WCW shows of that year.

That’s not to say it was anything outstanding, but at this stage, not completely sucking was a huge achievement for World Championship Wrestling.

Though there was nothing that was must-see viewing, if you’re looking for a WCW 2000 show that isn’t completely awful, this is it.



For other year 2000 pro wrestling reviews see:
Other WCW Fall Brawl reviews:
Be the first to catch the latest Retro Pro Wrestling reviews by following on Facebook or Twitter @RetroPWrestling.

Thursday, 23 April 2020

PPV REVIEW: WCW New Blood Rising 2000

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 - Event poster
August 13, 2000
Pacific Coliseum, Vancouver, British Columbia.

On April 10th, 2000, Vince Russo and Eric Bischoff returned to World Championship Wrestling and immediately set about instigating a reboot of the entire company.

Storylines were scrapped, all the titles were declared vacant, and war was declared on the wrestlers who had been hogging WCW's main event scene for the last couple of years.

Stars like Hulk Hogan, Kevin Nash, Sting, Lex Luger, Diamond Dallas Page and Ric Flair were all supposed to be the heels, the guys you'd want to see getting their asses kicked by a gang of young and hungry performers called The New Blood.

Like many things in WCW, it didn't work. Fans routinely cheered for The Millionaire's Club (Hogan et al.) and rooted for them to kick some New Blood ass.

Realizing they'd got it wrong, the WCW brain trust let the whole thing drizzle out in about a month or two.







So, totally ignoring the fact that The New Blood had already risen, peaked, and fallen again, the company looked to replace their now-defunct Road Wild brand with this, New Blood Rising 2000.

Let's head down to Canada and relive what happened, shall we?

Let’s Get Down to Business

We began New Blood Rising with the obligatory video package, this one focussing on the main event rivalry between WCW Champion Booker T and the man he beat for that title, Jeff Jarrett.

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 - Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone, and Mark Madden called the event
This feud could be summed up thus:

Booker T cut a promo in which he said ‘let’s get down to business,’ and talked seriously about being a legitimate champion who would never relinquish the belt to Double J.

In response, Jarrett just said the word ‘slapnuts’ a lot and hit a bunch of people with guitars.

We then went live to the arena for the first WCW PPV to emanate from Canada since the previous year’s WCW Mayhem.

Tony Schiavone then welcomed us to the show with his usual hyperbolic introduction before sending to the ring for our opening contest.

Fair’s fair, you’d never guess that this was a company less than a year away from folding.

Everything about the presentation suggested that this was a big deal.

At least it did until Tank Abbott came down and started dancing with Three Count.

Six-Man Ladder Match
3 Count (‘Sugar’ Shane Helms, Evan Karagious, and Shannon Moore w/ Tank Abbott) vs. The Jung Dragons

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 - Tank Abbott dances with Three Count
It got worse. Abbott wore a 3 Count t-shirt with the nipples cut out. There he stood, nipples out, dancing and cheering on 3 Count as they engaged in a match that could have been so much better without the stipulation.

Had they just kept this as a six-man cruiserweight match, we might have had a fast-paced, high-flying outing which, though it may not have been a classic, would have proved to be a suitable opener.

Alas, this was WCW, so they had to ruin things by making it a gimmick match.

That gimmick was that 3 Count’s gold record was hanging above the ring along with a contract. If 3 Count got the contract, it was business as usual for WCW’s resident boy band.

If The Jung Dragons got it, however, then Shane Helms, Shannon Moore, and Evan Karagious could never sing again.

The problem here wasn’t so much that the gimmick was silly (though it was), it was that the two inexperienced teams clearly weren’t ready to structure this kind of match.

Despite a few good spots, the whole thing came off as a sloppy, uncoordinated mess.

At various points, members of The Jung Dragons would scale the top of the ladder, remember that they weren’t supposed to win, and then just kind of stand there, obviously waiting for a member of 3 Count to get into position and knock them off the ladder.

Eventually, 3 Count retrieved the contract and, since they already had the gold record after Abbott stole it from the Dragons, that meant they won the match.

This was not good at all.
Your Winners: The Jung Dragons

Afterwards, Tank Abbott and his exposed nipples ran off with 3 Count’s contract and gold record, leaving the three men confused.

Word to Yo’ Mutha

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 - Tank Abbott dances with Three Count
Out in the back, The Filthy Animals pleaded with Commissioner Ernest Miller to let them referee tonight’s upcoming tag team title match.

In exchange, the animals promised that they could guarantee Miller won his match with The Great Muta tonight.

The Cat agreed and fist-bumped every member of the group besides Disco Inferno, who was ordered to leave after dropping a cringe-worthy ‘word to yo mutha’ on the Commissioner.

The Great Muta vs. Ernest ‘The Cat’ Miller

The Great Muta, one of the greatest wrestlers of all time.

Ernest Miller, not so much.

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 - The Great Muta before his match with Ernest 'The Cat' MillerThough it was never really explained why the two were fighting, the announcers did vaguely insinuate that it had something to do with Muta being part of Vampiro’s Dark Carnival.

Whatever the reason, the actual match wasn’t terrible, and that’s about the best thing that could be said about it.

It was the sort of thing that might be used to kill a few minutes on Nitro. That’s not to say it was bad, but let’s put it this way, if you used it as a bathroom break then you weren’t going to miss anything.

Toward the end, Tygress came out to keep The Filthy Animal’s promise by jumping off the top rope and waving a steel chair in the vicinity of Muta’s head.

The Japanese legend kicked out of the subsequent pin attempt, but Miller won anyway a few moments later.

Blah.
Your Winner: Ernest Miller

Backstage, Buff Bagwell went looking for his mum, who Schiavone told us would be up for grabs tonight in a ‘Judy Bagwell on a Pole’ match.

Yep.

Judy Bagwell on a Pole Match
Positively Kanyon vs. Buff Bagwell

Ok, let’s do this.

If Kanyon wins, he gets Judy Bagwell as his valet.

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 - Buff Bagwell's mum featured in a Judy Bagwell on a pole match
Still doing his best DDP impression after turning on Page back at The Great American Bash 2000, Kanyon drove a forklift to the ring with Momma Bagwell tied to it.

Taking to the microphone, Kanyon insisted that he’d searched the whole of Canada for a pole big enough to hold Buff’s mum but couldn’t find one.

As such, he declared that this was officially now a ‘Judy Bagwell on a Forklift’ match.

Whatever you want to call it, it wasn’t anything special.

Much like the previous Muta/Miller bout, there was nothing particularly offensive about Bagwell/Kanyon. It’s just that nothing interesting happened.

The most exciting moment came near the finish when former World Heavyweight Champion David Arquette came out to try and help Kanyon win.

He failed, of course.

Bagwell got a double Buff Blockbuster on both men, winning the match and, um, his mom.
Your Winner: Buff Bagwell

Post-match, Buff rescued his mother from the forklift truck and hugged her while his theme song sang about how sexy he was.

Only in a pro wrestling review will you read a sentence like that, ladies and gentlemen.

Speaking of hugs, Kanyon embraced Arquette after the match but then turned on him with a Kanyon (Diamond) Cutter.

Lance Storm: A Big F’N Deal

Out in the back, members of the Canadian police force and ‘secret service’ were shown flanking a huge limousine.

This was the kind of entrance you usually saw for Ric Flair or Hulk Hogan, but nope, it was just Lance Storm and his many titles.

After some time-killing banter from the announcers, it was on to the next match.

World Championship Wrestling World Tag Team Championship Four-Corners Match
WCW Tag Team Champions Kronik (Brian Adams & Bryan Clarke) vs. The Misfits in Action (General Rection & Corporal Cajun) vs. Mark Jindrack and Sean O’Haire vs. The Perfect Event (Shawn Stasiak & Chuck Palumbo)

Special referees: Rey Mysterio Jr., Juventud Guerrera, Disco Inferno & Tygress

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 - Buff Bagwell's mum featured in a Judy Bagwell on a pole match
Rey Mysterio Jr. And Juventud Guerrera came down wearing the tag team title belts. They weren’t the champions, they just came down wearing the titles because WCW did this sort of thing ALL THE TIME and yet nobody ever talks about.

Seriously, as I write this, I’ve covered every WCW PPV from January 1996 to August 2000 and I’ve lost count of the number of matches I’ve seen in which a guy who isn’t the champion will come out wearing the belt while the actual champion comes out acting like he doesn’t care that somebody else has his title.

The announcers never mention it. There’s no explanation for it in any pre-match video. It just kind of happens and we’re all just expected to go with it because WCW that’s why.

Rant aside, The Filthy Animals were out here to referee. Yes, all of them.

Well, most of them. Konnan was out to do commentary and set about burying everybody the minute he got a headset on.

Seriously, this wasn’t him playing the heel, this was him being a d**k.

The minute Sean O’ Haire and Mark Jindrack came out, he lay into them for being ‘terrible’ and lacking charisma. It didn’t come off as his character trying to put his own team over at the youngster’s expense, it came over as Charles Ashenoff not giving a damn and just burying the roster.

Before the bell, Disco Inferno told the combatants that he would be the in-ring official while his Filthy Animals colleagues would be the outside officials.

In fairness, Disco’s pre-match mic work was the first entertaining thing on the show.

The match itself was the second.

The best contest on the show so far, this was a well put together match that managed to avoid turning into the kind of overcrowded clusterfunk that bouts with this many people descend into it.

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 - Chuck Palumbo and Brian Adams
Eventually, it became apparent that The Filthy Animals were conspiring to have Jindrack and O’Haire win, not because they were in cahoots, but because the Animals got a shot at the titles the following night and thought the newcomers would be the easiest to beat.

Unfortunately for them, it wasn’t to be.

The most popular team in the match, Kronik dominated the closing moments and got the win thanks to Chavo Guerrero.

After Disco made one too many slow-counts, Chavo ran in, decked the disco-dancing fool and stole his referees' shirt in order to make the count.

I don’t know about you, but I love that the wrestling logic which dictates that the only thing you need in order to be an officially recognised referee for a match is the right shirt.

Also, at one point, Vampiro and Muta ran in and attacked Kronik. This would be important later.
Your Winners and Still WCW Tag Team Champions: Kronik

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 - Pamela Paulshock interviews Jeff Jarrett
Out in the back, Jeff Jarrett was upset that Pamela Paulshock was interviewing him rather than Mean Gene Okerlund.

Jarrett didn’t like Okerlund or anything, he just liked referring to him as a ‘Jurassic Slap Ass’ and seemed a bit cross that he wouldn’t get to do so.

Responding to Paulshock’s question about tonight’s main event, Jarrett gave the same promo he always gave in this era:

‘I’m going to win the match because I’m the chosen one and I have all the stroke, slappy slap ass slapnuts.’

Strap Match
The Franchise Shane Douglas (w/ Torrie Wilson) vs. Billy Kidman

Sadly, there was no yapapi involved in this strap match. There was Torrie Wilson, however, which is probably better.

The future WWE Hall of Famer had joined forces with Shane Douglas at last month’s Bash at the Beach, raising the ire of her former lover Billy Kidman.

As a result, Kidman had returned to he babyface locker room after his ill-advised heel run saw him get his ass handed to him by Hulk Hogan.

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 - Shane Douglas and Torrie WilsonTonight, the two men would compete in a strap match in which you won by pinning your opponent, making the whole stipulation -like almost everything in WCW at this time- pointless and stupid.

Before the bell, The Franchise cut a compelling promo in which he mocked Kidman for not being man enough to keep Torrie satisfied.

As a character, Douglas was on form, and his promo proved to be 500 times more enjoyable than anything he and Kidman did in the ring.

Nothing either man did looked like it was effective and the crowd didn’t care about any of it.

After a few minutes of nothing, Kidman won and the crowd continued not to care.
Your Winner: Kidman

In fact, they only cared when Kidman took the strap and gave Torrie a spanking, but then they stopped caring again when The Franchise attacked and tried to hang his rival in the corner.

Eventually, Big Vito ran to the rescue and proved to be the most over person in the whole thing.

Vito was attacked by Reno (remember him? Me neither) but saw him off too.

Meanwhile, Booker T was shown arriving at the arena and unloading his bag out of his car. This wasn’t very exciting, but it’s a good job the camera crew were there to film it otherwise we would’ve missed Jeff Jarrett sneak attacking the champion.

Back in the arena, this happened...

Mud Rip the Clothes Off Match
Major Gunns vs. Miss Hancock

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 - Major Gunns faced Ms Hancock in a "rip off your clothes and jump in the mud" match
During this era, both major promotions would put the female members of their roster in ‘wrestling matches’ which were little more than thinly-disguised efforts to show as much female flesh as they could get away with and please the horny men in the audience.

It rarely worked.

Though the women themselves may have been stunners, watching them frolic around in their knickers was usually more embarrassing than sexy.

This match was a rare exception.

Both Major Gunns and Miss Hancock were gorgeous women and made sure that they flaunted it as they worked together to put on a neat little wrestling match the likes of which you might expect to see at a pro wrestling school at the end of the first month’s training.

That’s not a criticism either. Neither woman was a full-time wrestler, and yet nothing they did in the ring looked terrible.

Hancock even bust out an impressive handspring-elbow which was even better than the one legendary veteran The Great Muta had performed earlier.

They did all this while making sure we all got a good glimpse of their bums as often as possible.

It was better to focus on this rather than the rules of the match because, unsurprisingly, they didn’t make sense.

Both girls wore camouflage and at various points would rip items of clothing off one another as in your standard ‘strip-u-nekki’ match.

The announcers even told us that the girls were supposed to strip off the camouflaged items.

But that wasn’t how you won the match. You won the match by pinfall, so who knows what the kayfabe logic behind the stripping actually was.

There was also a mud bath and, inevitably, both girls ended up in it.

There, Miss Hancock looked to have the match won, but then doubled over in pain, allowing Gunns to roll her up for the three count.
Your Winner: Major Gunns

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 -  Ms Hancock faced Major Gunns in a "rip off your clothes and jump in the mud" match
Afterwards, everybody, including Gunns, acted really concerned about Miss Hancock, who fell over clutching her stomach.

The announcers also did that horrible thing of trying to convince us that this wasn’t ‘real’ without actually coming out and yelling ‘BUT EVERYTHING ELSE YOU’VE SEEN IS A WORK!!’

They even dropped the Miss Hancock gimmick and started calling her Stacy Kiebler as she was wheeled off on a stretcher.

Get it? It wasn’t Miss Hancock going to the hospital, it was Stacy Kiebler because this was REAL!

Later, this would turn out to be the start of a pregnancy angle that nobody wanted and hardly anybody remembers.

Sting’s Nine Lives Have Run Out

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 -  Pamela Paulshock interviews Vampiro and The Dark Carnival
Back at Bash at the Beach 2000, Vampiro had beaten The Demon in a ridiculous graveyard match.

Taking the old adage that ‘if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em’ literally, the Gene Simmons impersonator had enlisted in Vampiro’s Dark Carnival, a faction which also included an out-of-shape Great Muta.

Backstage, Pamela Paulshock reminded Vampiro that no matter what he did to Sting, the WCW Icon always bounces back.

Tonight, Vamp’ insisted that Sting’s ‘nine lives’ had run out and that Demon would beat him tonight.

The Demon vs. Sting

This wasn’t even a match. Sting descended from the rafters like he used to do in 1997 and beat his opponent in about 30 seconds.

Demon didn’t even get an offensive move in.
Your Winner: Sting

Afterwards, Vamp and Muta came out to attack Sting, but Kronik came out to the rescue.

Seeking revenge from earlier, Brian Adams and Bryan Clarke battered Vamp and Muta while Sting just casually walked off and Demon stood around looking lost.

The tag champs challenged The Dark Carnival to a match later on in the show and even offered to put their tag titles on the line.

Though we never heard from Vamp or Muta, the announcers told us the match was official.

World Championship Wrestling United States Canadian Heavyweight Championship
WCW Canadian Champion Lance Storm vs. Mike Awesome

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 -  Lance Storm and all his titles
Mike Awesome was amazing and it’s a crime that WCW took a giant crap on his career towards the end.

Tonight, however, he was still pretty much the same Mike Awesome we knew ana loved as he went up against Canadian Hero Lance Storm.

Storm, who got the full Goldberg entrance with security and all, came to the ring with his three titles and awesome theme music.

He then proceeded to cut a typically dry promo in which he claimed that he was happy to finally be wrestling in front of the great Canadian fans rather than those stupid, terrible Americans.

Naturally, Lance was insanely over here. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that this was probably the most over he would ever be in his career.

You know who else was over?

Bret ‘The Hitman’ Hart. The crowd chanted The Hitman’s name after the Canadian Champion announced that he had recruited a Canadian legend to serve as special referee and ensure that the ‘Canadian rule book’ was adhered to.

You could literally hear the crowd becoming deflated when that Canadian legend turned out not to be Bret Hart but Jacques Rougeau.

Last seen on PPV back at Wrestlemania 14, Rougeau stood by as both champ and challenger entered into a spirited performance.

The two ECW alumni delivered a crisp, solid wrestling match with some seriously high-impact moves.

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 -  Bret Hart appeared on the showIt’s a testament to how good Mike Awesome was that he blatantly slipped off the top rope at one point but landed on his feet, played it cool and delivered a hard clothesline as though that had been the plan all along.

Awesome eventually won the match thanks to a huge sit down powerbomb, but Rougeau declared that Canadian rules required a five-count.

Awesome then won again, this time by making the champion submit with a Dragon sleeper but again the former Mountie got involved, insisting that titles couldn’t change hands on a submission in Canada.

Undeterred, Awesome beat Storm a third time and pinned him for the five count, only for Jacques to make it a Texas death match in which the champion had til the count of ten to get up after being pinned.

Had this taken place on US soil it would have no doubt infuriated the live crowd, but the Canadians loved it and that only served to make it even more entertaining.

Eventually, both men crashed through a table and Jacques declared that the first man to his feet would be the winner.

Naturally, he decked the challenger to prevent him from getting up, allowing Lance Storm to retain his title.

If that sounds overbooked, it was to an extent, but it was so much fun I’ll let it slide.

By far the best thing on the card so far by a thousand miles.
Your Winner and Still WCW Canadian Champion: Lance Storm

Afterwards, Bret Hart’s music hit and the one Canadian hero everyone really wanted to see made his way to ring.

Known for having a bee in his bonnet about dodgy officiating, it looked as though The Hitman would call out his fellow countrymen for their shenanigans, but instead, he smiled and gave them both a big hug.

Nash is Going Over Steiner

Hey, you know who we haven’t seen enough of tonight? Vampiro.

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 -  Pamela Paulshock interviews Kevin Nash
Not to worry. Kids, if you send in a copy of your cable bill showing that you purchased New Blood Rising, WCW would send you a free Vampiro t-shirt.

Cool, right?

Speaking of which, former Big Daddy Cool Kevin Nash was standing by backstage with Pamela Paulshock.

Pamela noted that Goldberg hadn’t yet arrived for his scheduled three-way dance with Nash and Scott Steiner, but Big Sexy didn’t care.

In a short but decent promo, Nash claimed that he was only in pro wrestling for the money and the title and that he would beat Steiner anyway tonight to get a title shot.

Actually, he didn’t say he’d beat him, he said he was ‘going over’ him because according to WCW logic there was nothing cooler than using insider terms on live TV.

World Championship Wrestling World Tag Team Championship
WCW Tag Team Champions Kronik (Brian Adams & Bryan Clarke) vs. The Dark Carnival (Vampiro & The Great Muta)

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 -  Kronik
Oh look, it’s Vampiro and Great Muta again. Haven’t seen them for a while.

Also, I just realised that The Dark Carnival’s theme music was the ICP song Take it from the WCW Mayhem album.

Like many WCW bouts from this time, the best you could probably say about this one is that it was OK.

Like, there was nothing particularly bad about it, but at the same time it was kinda meh and, after the riotous entertainment of Storm/Awesome, the crowd certainly didn’t care.

Towards the end, Muta accidentally sprayed referee Mickie Jay with the green mist, giving Harris Brothers the chance to run to the ring and beat up Kronik while the referee sold the powder to the eye like he’d just been shot.

Muta then hit a moonsault, Mickie counted to three, and we had new champions.
Your Winners and NEW WCW Tag Team Champions: The Dark Carnival

Backstage, Booker T told Pamela Paulshock that Jeff Jarrett would have to kill him if he wanted his title.

This was followed by a brief video package for our upcoming three-way.

Three-Way Match
Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner (w/ Midajah) vs. Goldberg

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 -  Scott Steiner gets ready to drop an elbow on Goldberg
If they’d just left this alone as a straight forward singles match between the two former nWo members, it would have been a solid big man match.

However, this was WCW, so they couldn’t help but mess things up by throwing some
Goldberg nonsense in there.

The match was billed as a triple threat, but Goldberg didn’t come out when he was announced, leaving Steiner and Nash to go at it.

Eventually, Big Bill arrived, sporting bandaged ribs ala DDP after a kayfabe motorcycle accident.

We then got a few minutes of the advertised three-way before Goldberg decided that he didn’t want to be powerbombed by Big Sexy and ‘went off script’ by walking back.

He was confronted by Vince Russo, who demanded the former champion get back in the ring. Instead; Bill yelled ‘F**k you!’ Very loudly at Russo and it’s amazing that the WWE Network hasn’t censored that out.

Back in the ring, Steiner and Nash continued to brawl, giving us a decent effort that Big Sexy eventually won with the powerbomb.
Your Winner: Kevin Nash

After a video package for the Booker T/Jeff Jarrett match, it was onto our main event.

World Championship Wrestling World
Heavyweight Championship
WCW World Heavyweight Champion Booker T vs. Jeff Jarrett

WCW New Blood Rising 2000 -  Booker T defended the World Heavyweight Championship against Jeff Jarrett
Though it was nowhere near to main event standards, this was otherwise a decent match.

It would have been even better if Booker T had remembered how to sell.

After slamming the champion’s leg in a car door earlier in the show, Jarrett spent the first two-thirds of the match working the same body part.

Booker was fine with this when he was on the defence? But as soon as he went on the attack, it was as though his leg made an instant, miraculous recovery.

It was no noticeable and so stupid that it really took you out of the match, so much so that it was hard to care when the final third broke down into multiple red bumps and overbooking.

Booker and his fully healed legs won with the Book End, but the crowd were apparently so fed up that they started hurling garbage into the ring.
Your Winner and Still WCW Champion: Booker T

Afterwards, the champ suddenly remembered his leg was supposed to hurt and started staggering off.







For some reason, I had high hopes for New Blood Rising.

Alas, all such hopes were buried under big, dirty sheets of mediocrity.

Check out the stupidly fun Lance Storm/Mike Awesome stuff, but otherwise, avoid this one.





For other year 2000 pro wrestling reviews see:
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    Thursday, 26 March 2020

    PPV REVIEW: WCW Bash at the Beach 2000

    WCW Bash at the Beach - Event poster
    July 9, 2000
    Ocean Center, Daytona Beach, Florida

    Throughout his time in World Championship Wrestling, Hulk Hogan's biggest and most game-changing moments had occurred at Bash at the Beach.

    No one who was around at the time could ever forget Hogan being revealed as 'The Third Man' and pledging his allegiance to Scott Hall and Kevin Nash at Bash of the Beach 1996.

    Two years before that, Hogan had made his in-ring debut for the company at the first-ever Bash at the Beach PPV, dethroning Nature Boy Ric Flair for the world heavyweight championship.

    So it was perhaps entirely appropriate that tonight, Hogan would make his last on-screen appearance for WCW at would prove to be the last ever Bash at the Beach.

    Talk about things coming full circle.

    In 1994, there was no Bash at the Beach and no WCW Hulk Hogan. After tonight, there would once again be no WCW Hogan nor Bash at the Beach.

    Here then, is a look at the fitting conclusion to Hogan's WCW run.






    The Cat Has NO Time for The Young Dragons

    WCW Bash at the Beach - WCW Comissioner Ernest Miller arrives at the venue
    Earlier in the evening, WCW Commissioner Ernest 'The Cat' Miller arrived in a limousine and told his lackey to go pass a message on to the Misfits in Action and The Filthy Animals. The lackey did as he was told, leaving The Cat to be confronted by The Jung Dragons.

    Kaz Hayashi, (Jimmy) Yang, and Jamie-San (a masked Jamie Noble) stood around like something out of a goofy Kung Fu comedy, with The Cat insisting that he didn't have time to play with them. Undeterred, the Dragons attacked Miller anyway.

    Quite why they did this was never explained.

    Pyro, camera shots, and a welcome from Tony Schiavone followed, after which he and his colleagues Scott Hudson and Mark Madden got ready to call all the action.

    World Championship Wrestling World Cruiserweight Championship
    WCW Cruiserweight Champion Lieutenant Loco vs. Juventud Guerrera

    WCW Bash at the Beach - Juventud Guerrera lifts the cruiserweight title
    As per the message from Ernest Miller, the Misfits in Action and Filthy Animals were barred from ringside for this one, but that didn't stop both factions initially coming down to ringside so that Konnan could cut his usual pre-match promo (complete with nerdy white boy hype from Disco Inferno) and so that we could all get a look at Major Gunns perfect backside.

    I should also point out that Lieutenant Loco was the champion but Juventud Guerrera came out with the title belt because this was WCW and the company LOVED that gimmick so much.

    With all that nonsense out of the way, what we were left with was a perfectly acceptable cruiserweight title match. Both men would have better outings with other opponents, but this was decent enough in its own right.

    At various points, both men's stables tried to come out wearing Halloween masks as a means of (poorly) hiding their identity but were seen off by the officials, leaving Chavo to get the win over Juvi.
    Your Winner and Still WCW Cruiserweight Champion: Lieutenant Loco

    Out in the back, Commissioner Miller was seen talking to a beaten-up Yung Dragons, insinuating that he had escaped their clutches and beaten them up.

    WCW Bash at the Beach - Jeff Jarrett confronts Comissioner Ernest Miller while Screamin' Mimi sings in the background
    The Comish told them that they had done a good job previously, but that his contract with them was over. Because they were foreign, they didn't really understand him, and could only smile at the words 'good job.'

    They were interrupted by WCW Champion Jeff Jarrett, who marched into Miller's office accompanied by a woman dressed as the valkyrie Brünnhilde from Wagner's Der Ring des Nibelungen. I've no idea what that was about, but I'm assuming it had something to do with the line "it ain't over until the fat lady sings."

    Anyway, Double J wanted to know why his scheduled opponent, Hulk Hogan wasn't here yet, but all Miller could say was that the Hulkster would definitely be taking part in tonight's show.

    World Championship Wrestling Hardcore Championship Handicap Match
    WCW Hardcore Champion Big Vito vs. Screamin' Norman Smiley & Ralphus

    Before the bell, Big Vito claimed that his original opponent was supposed by his own partner, Johnny The Bull. The Bull, however, was out of commission, so Terry Funk was supposed to be his opponent, but Vito had destroyed him on Nitro, leaving Ernest Miller no choice but to book him against a 'Mystery Opponent.'

    WCW Bash at the Beach - Hardcore Champion Big Vito faced Norman Smiley and Ralphus
    That opponent turned out to be not much of a mystery at all - it was literally the only other guy left in the hardcore division: Norman Smiley.

    Since Vito was in such a good mood, he announced that he'd take on both he and Ralphus in a handicap match. Not that it made much of a difference.

    Much as he had done back at Slamboree 2000 in Smiley's match against Funk, the former head of Jericho Personal Security kind of just wandered around aimlessly, occasionally coming in to tap his opponent on the head with a trash can.

    At one point, Ralphus was about 20 feet away from the action and still managed to fall on his ass and cut his head open. This isn't one of those times when I exaggerate to get across how fake a move looked. I mean, Ralphus was so far off in the background that he was almost off-camera, and yet he still managed to fall and bleed.

    Poor Ralphus, he really was a disaster of a human being.

    You have to feel bad for the guy too, because it was he who ended up costing his team the match. Vito sent Smiley away in an elevator then found Ralphus at ringside, beat him up and then propped up a table and rested the big guy against it. He splashed him from the top rope through the wood and this one was, mercifully, over.
    Your Winner and Still WCW Hardcore Champion: Big Vito

    WCW Bash at the Beach - Mean Gene Okerlund interviews Kevin Nash
    Out in the back, Big Bad Bill Goldberg arrived with Scott Hall's contract in his pocket.

    That contract was on the line in a match against Kevin Nash.

    Across the way, Nash cursed his way through a sombre promo with Mean Gene Okerlund in which he reminded Goldberg that he was the only man to ever really beat him.

    With a wry Smile, Nash promised to do it again tonight.

    David Flair is a Two-Timing Lowlife

    Next, we got a video package looking at the feud between Daffney and Miss Hancock. The two had been feuding because David Flair was a two-timing low-life and had been cheating on Daffney with Hancock.

    The two would compete in a 'Wedding Gown Match' next.

    Wedding Gown Match
    Miss Hancock (w/ David Flair) vs. Daffney

    WCW Bash at the Beach - Ms Hancock (Stacy Keibler) faced Daffney in a wedding gown match
    I never thought I’d say this about anything that involved Stacy Keibler taking her clothes off, but my goodness this was next-level awful.

    Dressed in a wedding suit, David Flair got involved very early on. As did referee Slick Johnson. The result was that we got four people chasing each other around the ring and occasionally grabbing each other.

    Daffney and Stacy ripped off Flair and Johnson’s pants. Crowbar got involved to help Daffney and took his own pants off.

    ‘This is pretty funny.’ said Tony Schiavone.

    It wasn’t.

    It wasn’t funny. It wasn’t entertaining, and it certainly wasn’t sexy, not even when Miss Hancock cost herself the match by saying screw it and putting on a striptease.

    The only funny moment was Slick Johnson, Crowbar and David Flair all sat down in the corner of the ring, enjoying the show.
    Your Winner: Daffney

    Afterward, everybody threw cake at each other and made a big mess. I mean, bigger than this pile of garbage already was.

    Out in the back, The Cat wandered through the corridor, voicing his concerns about Hulk Hogan being AWOL.

    Oriental music played and The Jung Dragons were seen hiding in the background.

    That wasn’t funny either.

    Where is Hogan?

    As the ring crew tried unsuccessfully to clean up the cakey mess at ringside, the announcers expressed their own concerns about Hogan and gave us the same bit about Hogan’s links with Bash at the Beach that I’d given you at the start of this review.

    Eventually, the ring crew said screw or and just flipped the messy ringside mats over.

    World Championship Wrestling World Tag Team Championship
    WCW Tag Team Champions The Perfect Event (‘Perfectshawn’ Shawn Stasiak & ‘The Event’ Chuck Palumbo) vs. Kronik (Brian Adams & Bryan Clarke)

    WCW Bash at the Beach - Kronik faced Shawn Stasiak and Chuck Palumbo
    This match might have a few critics, but this fan is definitely not one of them.

    No sir, I enjoyed the heck out of this one.

    The longest and best thing on the card so far, the action here was solid. Not spectacular, not groundbreaking, certainly not must-see, but solid, decent and perfectly acceptable as a tag team match.

    Best of all, it was one of the very few WCW PPV matches to occur around this time with a clean, no-BS finish.

    No outside interference, no weapons (Stasiak brought in the Lex Flexor but didn’t use it), just a solid team match with a good old fashioned finishing move and a three count.

    After a lengthy battle, that finishing move came in the form of a powerbomb/Doomsday Device combo courtesy of Kronik, earning Bryan Clarke and Brian Adams the gold.
    Your Winners and NEW WCW Tag Team Champions: Kronik

    Out in the back, Jeff Jarrett and his opera singing friend (known as Screamin’ Mimi) warned The Cat that he’d cause trouble and ruin the show if Hogan didn’t appear.

    Miller was trying his best to sort things out, but once again got attacked by The Jung Dragons.

    Admittedly, this was starting to get old, but it was also so ridiculous you couldn’t help but laugh.

    ‘Positively Kanyon’ vs. Booker T

    WCW Bash at the Beach - Booker T faced Kanyon
    After turning on Diamond Dallas Page at The Great American Bash, Kanyon was now doing a DDP rip off gimmick, even going so far as to wear a wig to look like Page and come down to the Self Hi-Five theme.

    Meanwhile, Booker T had ditched the G.I. Brain thing and was now just good old’ Book.

    The two gave us another solid match, albeit one without a clean finish.

    After several minutes of compelling action, Jeff Jarrett stayed true to his word and screwed with the show by waffling Booker with a guitar.

    Kanyon then hit the weakest looking Diamond Cutter ever and won.
    Your Winner: Kanyon

    Backstage, Mike Awesome was chatting up Screamin’ Mimi but was interrupted by Pamela Paulshock, who wanted to know about his upcoming US title match.

    WCW Bash at the Beach - Pamela Paulshock tries to get an interview with Mike Awesome
    Awesome didn’t care about that. He only cared about seducing the fat lady.

    The joke here was that Awesome found Mimi way hotter than the smoking hot Paulshock. It would have been way more convincing had he not continually looked down at her boobs throughout the promo.

    Speaking of Pamela Paulshock, can I just say how much I enjoyed her performances?

    No, it wasn’t to do with the fact that she was an attractive woman (though it helps), but because she was one of the few backstage interviewers to have come along with a genuine personality, like a modern-day Missy Hyatt.

    I enjoy her get-in-the-wrestlers-face approach immensely.

    Also, there was this line from Madden:

    "You know who the fat girl's favourite wrestler is? Shane Douglas...She thinks he's The French Fries."

    Fair play, that was probably his only genuinely funny contribution to pro wrestling.

    World Championship Wrestling United States Championship
    WCW US Champion Scott Steiner (w/ Midajah) vs. Mike Awesome

    WCW Bash at the Beach - Mike Awesome gets set to pounce on Scott Steiner
    Scott Steiner’s other ‘Freak’ Shakira had now left the company, leaving just his memorable pairing with Midajah.

    She wasn’t the only part of Steiner’s gimmick to have gone. For vague, nefarious heel reasons, The Cat had declared that the Steiner Recliner was now a banned move.

    At first, it didn’t seem to matter. Steiner ana Awesome still tore it up a wild and thoroughly entertaining brawl, giving us a match that was even better than their last outing at Spring Stampede 2000.

    Towards the finish, however, The Cat came down and, after inadvertently kicking Awesome, insisted that he would strip Steiner of the title if he put Mike in the Recliner.

    Stupidly, Scotty did it anyway and lost the title.
    Your Winner by erm. Disqualification: Mike Awesome

    That was such a dumb finish to an otherwise good match that I had to go on Wikipedia to find out what the actual result was.

    Apparently Awesome won by DQ, but whether or not that made him our new champion was unclear as of that moment.

    Taking out his frustrations, Steiner murdered Awesome with a wicked T-Bone suplex.

    Then, after more time-killing meanderings from the announcers, we went down to the graveyard.

    Graveyard Match
    The Demon (w/ Aysa) vs. Vampiro

    WCW Bash at the Beach - The Demon faced Vampiro in a Graveyard Match
    Last seen on PPV way back at Superbrawl 2000, The Demon was no longer simply a Gene Simmons impersonator but was being billed as the personification of Dale Torborg’s dark side.

    Whatever he was, he journeyed into a graveyard for a cheesy, cringe-inducing non-match with Vampiro in which the only way to win was to make it out of the graveyard and back to the arena.

    Had they played this tongue-in-cheek like Matt Hardy would do years later with the Broken Universe stuff, it could have been glorious.

    Had they gone all-in with the violence factor and gritty realism of say, Undertaker and Mankind’s Boiler Room Brawl at Summerslam 1996, it could have been very compelling.

    As it was, they did neither.

    Instead, the two just kind of staggered around the fake graveyard, hitting each other and occasionally shouting at each other.

    At one point, Vampiro threw Demon into an open grave then ran off with Aysa.

    Moments later, Demon caught up and found Asya rocking back and forth as though something traumatic had happened.

    As he went to check on her, Vampiro pulled him into the lake for a bit of a splash about then ran off again.

    Eventually, Demon caught up, but Vamp spat some Muta-like mist in his face then stuffed Mr Torborg in a casket and dumped the casket into the open grave.

    With that, Vamp just kind of walked away.

    Yuck. This could have been so good. Instead, it was so, so stupid.

    Ok then...

    A Franchise Guarantee

    WCW Bash at the Beach - Mean Gene interviews Franchise Shane Douglas
    Kids, if you want to be the guest manager for big bad heel Bill Goldberg at a random house show, then mail it your cable or satellite bill proving that you ordered Bash at the Beach.

    Don’t want to do that? Just listen to Shane Douglas’ promo instead.

    Speaking to Mean Gene, The Franchise guaranteed to defeat his former partner Buff Bagwell in their upcoming match.

    I’m not certain, but this sounded like Douglas’ best attempt at cutting a babyface promo.

    Buff Bagwell vs. The Franchise Shane Douglas

    Ok, so maybe it wasn’t, because Douglas was definitely still a heel here.

    WCW Bash at the Beach - Torrie Wilson seduces Buff Bagwell before turning on him
    The story was that each man blamed the other for their failings as a tag team. The announcers sold this as though Buff and Shane were at Road Warrior or Steiner Brother levels of experience when in reality they’d probably tagged together for no more than a month tops.

    Like so many of the matches World Championship Wrestling presented around this time, this was a good wrestling match ruined by a convoluted finish.

    Bagwell and Douglas battler back and forth in an intense brawl until Torrie Wilson strutted to ringside with her boobs practically hanging out of her top.

    At first, she slapped Douglas, but that was just a ploy to gain the trust of Buff, who she then kicked squarely in the bollocks.

    Revealing her true colours, Torrie helped Shane keep his word by beating Buff Daddy.
    Your Winner: Shane Douglas

    Post-match, Wilson and Douglas made out.

    Nobody wanted to see that.

    The Chosen One is Ready for The Hulkster

    Backstage, Hollywood Hulk Hogan was seen walking, ready to face Jeff Jarrett.

    Elsewhere in the arena, Jeff insinuated to ‘Jurassic Slap Ass’ Mean Gene Okerlund that Hogan had made a lot of enemies during his WCW tenure and this would somehow come into play tonight.

    World Championship Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship
    WCW World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Jarrett vs. Hollywood Hulk Hogan

    WCW Bash at the Beach - Hollywood Hogan had his last on-screen WCW appearanceThough I don’t really remember them, apparently all kinds of rumours were floating about around this time that something dodgy would go down involving Hogan and Jarrett.

    If you hadn’t already caught wind that something was up, the fact that a Hulk Hogan world title match was plonked at a place in the card with an hour left to go should have given you a clue.

    We even got Michael Buffer calling this our ‘main event of the evening.'

    Buffer called out Jarrett first. The champion took forever to come out and, when he did so, he was following behind Vince Russo.

    Hogan came out next, by which time Jarrett had walked back up the ramp. Taking to the microphone, Hogan demanded that The Chosen One get in the ring so that he could powerbomb him in tribute to his buddy, Kevin Nash.

    Jarrett did so, but instead of locking up with Hollywood, simply lay down for him.

    Yep, this was like the Fingerpoke of Doom all over again, except, you know, without the actual finger poke.

    Looking confused and bewildered, Hogan took to the microphone and uttered the last words he would ever utter on WCW TV:

    ‘Russo, is this your deal? You know, this is why this company is in the damn shape it’s in, because of bulls**t like this.’

    Looking dejected, Hogan put his foot on Jarrett and Slick Johnson counted the three.
    Your Winner and NEW WCW World Heavyweight Champion Hulk Hogan

    WCW Bash at the Beach - Jeff Jarrett lay down for Hulk Hogan in the infamous worked shoot
    That was it. A six-year run was over. From Bash at the Beach 1994 to Bash at the  Beach 2000, Hulk Hogan’s WCW career had come full circle.

    The last shot of him on WCW TV was of him waking backstage while some kids carried the title belt and Vampiro walked into the arena, ignoring Hogan entirely.

    All the while, the announcers fumbled over themselves trying to explain that this wasn’t how the match was supposed to go down without actually coming out and saying ‘you know it’s all fake, right?’

    The irony was that this whole thing actually was planned.

    The idea was that he would return later in the year claiming to be the real champion and go up against whoever the heel champion happened to be at the time.

    That, of course, would never happen, and we’d have Vince Russo‘ upcoming promo to thank for it.

    But first, more Vampiro.

    The Dark Circle Has Been Completed

    WCW Bash at the Beach - Vampiro
    Vampiro came to the ring, winning his graveyard match in the process, and cut a spooky promo about how ‘The Dark Circle’ had been completed.

    No, I’m not sure what that meant either.

    The fans chanted for Sting, but Vamp claimed that, just like Dale Torborg, Sting was now dead.

    Sting himself wasn’t so sure of that.

    Taking a play directly from The Undertaker’s book, Sting had several Druid-like creatures wearing Sting masks and hoods wheel a coffin down to ringside.

    When the coffin opened, somebody who clearly wasn’t Sting but who the announcers lied and told us was Sting popped out of it.

    The lights went dark, the opening riff of Metallica’s Seek & Destroy played and was quickly replaced by Generic Creepy Music 124.

    When the lights came back on, Vamp was having a nap in the coffin.

    Goldberg Wants to Destroy The Outsiders

    WCW Bash at the Beach - Mean Gene interviews Bill Goldberg
    Two years after Starrcade 1998, Bill Goldberg finally looked to get revenge on Kevin Nash and Scott Hall for the outcome of his match with Nash on that show.

    Tonight, he promised to beat Nash from pillar to post and then destroy Scott Hall’s contract right in front of him.

    The funny thing was, Scott Hall hadn't appeared on WCW TV since that February’s Superbrawl 2000 show and had already left the company months ago following an incident on the company’s March European tour.

    Fun fact - I was at one of the shows on that tour.

    Vince Russo Kills Hulk Hogan’s Career

    Here’s that promo in full:

    "Three weeks ago, I left WCW and quite frankly I didn’t know if I was gonna come back. And the reason I didn’t know if I was gonna come back or not is because, from day one that I’ve been in WCW, I’ve done nothing, nothing, but deal with the bulls**t of the politics behind that curtain. 

    "The fact of the matter is I’ve got a wife, I’ve got three kids at home and frankly, the fact of the matter is I don’t need this s**t. 

    "But let me tell you the reason why I did come back. I came back for every one of the guys in this locker room that week in and week out busts their ass for WCW. I came back for the Booker Ts. I came back for every single guy in MIA. I came back for the Animals, I came back for Jarrett. I came back for the guys behind that curtain who give a s**t about this company. And let me tell you who doesn’t give a shit about this company that god damned politician Hulk Hogan. Because let me tell you people what happened out here in this ring tonight. 



    "All day long I’m playing politics with Hulk Hogan because Hulk Hogan tonight wants to play his creative control card and to Hulk Hogan that meant that tonight in the middle of this ring, when he knew it was bulls**t, he beats Jeff Jarrett. Well, guess what- Hogan got his wish, Hogan got his belt and he went the hell home. And I promise everybody else or else I’ll go in the god damn grave you will never see that piece of s**t again.

    "But I also... I sat out there in the people just like you and I know you paid good money to be here tonight and nobody is gonna be ripped off here tonight. 

    "So Hulk Hogan now has the WCW belt. And Hulk let’s refer to it as the Hulk Hogan memorial belt cause from here on in that belt don’t mean s**t. Because there will be a new WCW belt and as far I’m concerned that belt still belongs to the one guy that busts his ass week in and week out in the middle of this ring and you people can love him and hate him and he don’t screw anybody back there and that’s Jeff Jarrett. 

    "Now hold on a minute- Jeff Jarrett is still the official WCW champion but he will defend in this ring tonight. And he will defend that title against the son of a bitch back there who for fourteen years has been busting his ass for WCW and can’t get a god damn break because of the Hulk Hogans and I’m talking about Booker T. Booker T and Jeff Jarrett are the two reasons why I’m in this damn stinkin' business to begin with. So tonight in this ring for the WCW Title two deserving guys Jarrett and Booker will compete for the WCW belt and they’ll tear this god damned house down. And Hogan you big bald son of a bitch- KISS MY ASS!"

    The most noticeable thing about this passionate, profanity-laden speech from Russo is that it was genuinely one of the best promos to feature on WCW programming in ages.

    Personally, I could have done without all the swearing, but if wrestlers back then -or even now- could have delivered a promo with even a tenth of that intensity and believability, it would have made for awesome viewing.

    If you couldn’t be bothered watching the video, the other noteworthy thing was that Russo booked Jarrett vs. Booker T for tonight.

    Kevin Nash vs. Goldberg
    Scott Hall’s Contract on the Line

    WCW Bash at the Beach - Kevin Nash faced Goldberg
    It occurs to me that after what went down with Hogan, Nash was now the only member of the original nWo still standing in WCW.

    As he made his way from the locker room, Big Sexy stopped to ask one-time nWo member Scott Steiner is he’d watch his back.

    Steiner refused, being too busy getting his freak on with Midajah, but then he and his woman came out to ringside a few minutes into the match.

    Honestly, you could smell the heel turn a mile away.

    The actual Nash/Goldberg action wasn’t half bad and was more or less exactly what you’d expect from the pair of them.

    Predictably, however, Steiner turned on his long-time friend. Goldberg hit a spear and a Jackhammer, and Scott Hall’s WCW career was officially over months after he’d already left the company.
    Your Winner: Goldberg

    I say that, but when you think about it, this was a smart way to actually explain why we’d never see Hall again on WCW TV rather than having him do that mysterious thing that so many wrestlers before him had done and just randomly disappearing, never to be mentioned again.

    Booker T Will Take His Opportunity

    Backstage, Booker T claimed that he didn’t really know what was going on, but would take his opportunity when he could get it and walk out with the gold tonight.

    World Championship Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion
    WCW World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Jarrett vs. Booker T

    WCW Bash at the Beach - Booker T beat Jeff Jarrett to win his first WCW title
    Yes, Jeff was still technically the champion because Russo had declared the result of the earlier debacle to be null and void.

    It was interesting to note the number of empty seats on the hard camera side of the ring by this point. Clearly, plenty of people had just about had enough of WCW's nonsense and gone home. A shame, really, because they missed a really good main event.

    Sure, it began with something of an ominous cloud hanging over it, a certain sense of "this is only happening because something controversial went down earlier," but Jarrett and Booker worked hard to move past that and give us the best match of the night by a thousand miles.

    It was dramatic, it was captivating, and even though it had an unnecessary ref bump, it was everything you'd want from a high profile title match.

    In the end, Jarrett came off the top with the guitar, but Booker blocked it and hit a Book End. Slick Johnson ran in because Billy Silverman had been KO'd in the corner, and three seconds later we had the best 'new world champion' moment any company had produced since Stone Cold Steve Austin at Wrestlemania 14.
    Your Winner and NEW WCW World Heavyweight Champion: Booker T

    I mean seriously, this was such a feel-good moment. The remaining crowd all raised the roof for Booker, the champ himself was overwhelmed with emotion and almost cried, and your writer, watching at home, got goosebumps.

    Whatever else had happened at Bash at the Beach 2000, that's how you close a show - with a deserving champion standing tall after a tremendous, tremendous effort.






    Speaking of tremendous effort, that's mostly what WCW had produced here. Not that it was a flawless show. It was more like A+ for effort, C+ for execution. For all the decent wrestling, for all the moments like Booker T winning the title and that incredible Vince Russo promo, there were dumb Graveyard matches, too many run-ins, and David Flair dropping his pants.

    This, ladies and gentlemen, was the last ever Bash at the Beach show, and for better or worse, the world of professional wrestling would never forget it.





    For other year 2000 pro wrestling reviews see:
    Other WCW Bash at the Beach reviews
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    Retro Pro Wrestling

    New reviews of classic WWF/WWE events recalling every moment from Wrestlemania 1 - 30. You'll also find reviews of WCW, ECW, TNA and the occasional indie event, along with a look at old school magazines, merchandise and more.