Mega Powers Running Wild!

The legendary 'Macho man' Randy Savage teams up with 'The Immortal' Hulk Hogan to take on Ted Dibiase and Andre The Giant in the first ever WWF Summerslam!

Shawn Micahels vs. Mankind

The Heartbreak Kid defends the WWF Championship against Mankind in a thrilling main event at WWF In Your House: Mind Games.

The Birth of the nWo

From Hulk Hogan's shocking turn at WCW Bash at the Beach 1996 to the addition of Ted Dibiase, THe Giant Syxx and more, relive the very beginning of the New World Order.

Austin 3:16 Says I Just Kicked Your Ass

It's one of the most famous promos of all time; Stone Cold Steve Austin wins the 1996 King of The Ring and serves notice on all the WWF superstars. Check it out in our complete review

Wrestlemania 12 Review

The boyhood dream comes true as Shawn Michaels battles champion Bret 'The Hitman' Hart in a classic 1-hour iron man match. Plus, Diesel vs. Undertaker and more.

WCW Fall Brawl 1996 Review

Was Sting in cahoots with the New World Order? Would Lex Luger be able to get along with the Four Horsemen as they faced the nWo in War Games? Find out in this review

Showing posts with label Tim Horner. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tim Horner. Show all posts

Thursday, 26 November 2020

EVENT REVIEW: Smoky Mountain Wrestling - Thanksgiving Thunder 1993

Smoky Mountain Wrestling - Thanksgiving Thunder 1993
November 28th, 1993
Freedom Hall Civic Center, Johnson City, Tennessee

Much like the National Wrestling Alliance had done with The Great American Bash tour in the 1980s, Smoky Mountain Wrestling promoted a series of events across their region all under the same name, Thanksgiving Thunder.

In truth, there wasn't a tremendous amount of difference from one event to the next, so it took a little bit of detective work to figure out that the event we're about to review from this  YouTube video was indeed the November 28th stop in Johnson City, Tennessee.

To be honest, it wouldn't make much of a difference if it wasn't.

Look into it, and it soon becomes apparent that the cards were pretty much the same for every stop.

Anyway, whatever date it happened to be, here's what went down at Thanksgiving Thunder 1993.





The Loser is the Winner...or something

After a brief introduction from our announcers, Dirty Dutch Mantell and Les Thatcher, we went to some pre-recorded comments from 'Suicide Blonde' Chris Candido and Bobby Blaze.

Smoky Mountain Wrestling - Chris Candido faced Bobby Blaze for a turkey
The two were set to square off in tonight's opening contest with the stipulation that the loser would get tarred and feathered.

That was a relatively straight forward concept, and if they'd left it at that, we'd all be fine.

Instead, Blaze and Candido kept talking about how 'the loser would be the winner' without actually explaining what the hell that actually meant.

Ultimately, it turned out that if you lost the match, you'd be crowd the 'Turkey Champion' and that getting tarred and feathered would be your 'prize.'

There really was no need for that.

A straight-forward 'something bad will happen to the loser' gimmick works just fine without having to complicate it.

Anyway, both promos were fine, with Candido proving once again why he was such an effective heel.

Loser Gets Tarred & Feathered

WWA World and WWA Junior Heavyweight Champion 'Suicide Blonde' Chris Candido vs. Bobby Blaze

Smoky Mountain Wrestling -   Bobby Blaze faced Chris Candido in a 'loser gets tarred and featured' match
Neither of Candido's titles were on the line in what proved to be a pretty solid, 20-minute opening contest.

I've often said that Candido was an underrated performer, and it saddens me that we never got to see him enjoy a more credible singles run in the World Wrestling Federation.

Stripped of the ridiculous gimmick, Candido had the makings of a decent Intercontinental Champion. It's a shame that circumstances got in the way of that.

Regardless, Candido and Blaze performed well together here, building up a traditional heel vs. face match with what was -at the time- fairly fast-paced energy.

Towards the finish, Candido planted Blaze with an awesome top-rope powerbomb, but for some reason, that wasn't enough to put his opponent away. Instead, the two had to keep at it until the Suicide Blonde was able to cheat his way to a pinfall by using the ropes for leverage.
Your Winner: Chris Candido

Except, that wasn't quite the end of it.

Candido immediately got to work on tarring and feathering his rival, but before he could do too much damage, SMW official Sandy Scott came out an ordered the match to be restarted due to Candido's shenanigans.

The WWA Champion immediately attacked Blaze and tarred and feathered him anyway, causing Sandy Scott to fine him $1,000.

That was pretty much that. Apparently, Candido was disqualified, but that was never officially announced.

Daryl Van Horne Promises to End Tim Horner

Out in the back, Daryl Van Horne (Father James Mitchell) promised that the reign of Prince Kharis was about to begin in Smoky Mountain wrestling and that all the other wrestlers would fall to him.

'White Lightning' Tim Horner vs. Prince Kharis (w/ Daryl Van Horne)

Smoky Mountain Wrestling - Prince Kharis faced White Lightning Tim Horner
Daryl Van Horne continued to hype his man when he came to the ring, picking up the microphone and reminding Tim Horner that he'd already offered him an opportunity to back out of the match.

Since Horner had showed up, Horne promised that he was now in big trouble. He then raised a scroll and began chanting some gibberish that we were supposed to believe was ancient Egyptian as his wrestler, Prince Kharis, made his way to the ring.

I kid you not, Karis was the most ridiculous looking thing ever in pro wrestling.

If you thought it was bad enough the time that WCW dressed Ron Reis up as a mummy and called him 'The Yetti,' trust me, you ain't seen nothing yet.

SMW's mummy looked like somebody had bought a cheap knock off of The Yetti' costume and wore it at the most piss-poor Halloween party ever. I mean, he looked like a really shit version of one of those creepypasta stories the kids are into these days.

He looked like somebody doing a bad parody of what they thought a wrestling mummy should look like.

He looked, in a word, like crap.

The match eventually got underway, with Kharis no-selling most of Horner's offense. Every time White Lightning struck the walking toilet paper man, a load of dust came off his body because, you know, he was a 4,500-year-old mummy.

In other circumstances, I imagine that might have looked pretty impressive, but here, it looked just as ridiculous as the rest of the match.

After getting his ass whooped, Horner finally mounted a comeback and left the mummy reeling, but then Daryl Van Horne interfered because the best way to get a seven-foot invincible monster over is to have your tiny manager interfere on your behalf.

The interference was enough to allow Kharis to clobber Horner over the back and knock him out cold.

Referee Mark Curtis raised Horner's hand three times, but when Horner was unable to show that he was still conscious, Curtis ruled the match over.
Your Winner via knockout: Prince Kharis

My goodness. I've reviewed some crap over the years here on Retro Pro Wrestling, but that was just about the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen.

Post-match, Kharis locked Tim Horner in a cobra clutch, that classic move that was so wildly popular back in the days of ancient Egypt.

Eventually, Dirty White Boy -now apparently a face- ran out to make the save.

The Bullet and The Master are Going to Stab Each Other

Smoky Mountain Wrestling - Kevin Sullivan threatened to stab The Bullet
Backstage, 'The Master' Kevin Sullivan claimed that he was jealous of Bob Armstrong because 'The Bullet' had a split personality and he wanted it.

Since he didn't have that particular mental illness, the always-deranged Sulivan vowed that he was going to stab Bullet right in the heart and liver in their upcoming Singapore Spike match.

Offering a retort, Bob Armstrong promised to be just as violent towards Sullivan.

Both gave pretty compelling promos, though it would have been nice if they'd explained exactly why Armstrong was now wearing a mask and answering only to the name of 'The Bullet.'

Singapore Spike Match
Kevin Sullivan vs. The Bullet

Smoky Mountain Wrestling - The Bullet threatened to stab Kevin Sullivan in a Singapore Spike match
If I've learned anything from watching Smoky Mountain Wrestling over the last year, it's that major events like this one barely had any matches that didn't clock in around the 20-minute mark.

This one was the exception to that particular rule.

Lasting an incredibly short time for an SMW bout, this one saw Bullet and Sullivan engage in a reasonably enjoyable brawl before the masked Armstrong got the win.
Your Winner: The Bullet

Out in the back, The Rock 'n' Roll Express insisted that they weren't scared that Jim Cornette had brought The Moondogs into SMW to take them out while Jim Cornette ranted and raved about how much The Moondogs were going to beat Ricky Morton & Robert Gibson.

As Cornette screamed into the microphone, Rex and Spot trashed the backstage area.

Streetfight
The Rock 'n' Roll Express (Ricky Morton & Robert Gibson) vs. The Moondogs (Moondog Rex & Moondog Spot)

Smoky Mountain Wrestling - The Rock 'n' Roll Express faced The Moondogs
I'll be honest with you, ladies and gentleman, I enjoyed this match way more than I thought I would.

Neither time wasted any time in beating the crap out of the other, attacking with 2x4s, trashcans and whatever junk they could find around ringside.

The result was a fun, old-school brawl which, while devoid of any high spots, sure was a riot to watch.

In the end, one of the Moondogs walloped Mark Curtis, causing the official to ring for the bell.
No Contest

Afterward, both teams continued to brawl. Even Jim Cornette got involved and battered Robert Gibson with a stop sign. The Rock 'n' Roll Express continually goaded The Moondogs to get back in the ring, but this ultimately went nowhere.

The Heavyweight Championship is Next

Smoky Mountain Wrestling - Prime Time Brian Lee (w. Tammy Fytch) defended the SMW title against Dirty White Boy
Out in the back, Smoky Mountain Wrestling Heavyweight Champion Prime Time Brian Lee and Tammy Fytch talked smack about Lee's upcoming opponent, The Dirty White Boy.

Offering a response, DWB and his new valet, the imaginatively-named Dirty White Girl promised to take out the champ and his manager in the upcoming contest.

I'll be honest with you, this 25+ year recording hasn't aged all that well and it was kind of difficult to make out whether these promos were actually any good or not. All I know is that the two men and two women hated each other and would square off next.

Smoky Mountain Wrestling Heavyweight Championship
SMW Heavyweight Champion Prime Time Brian Lee (w/ Tammy Fytch) vs. The Dirty White Boy (w/ The Dirty White Girl)

Smoky Mountain Wrestling - Dirty White Boy (w/ Dirty White Girl) challenged Prime Time Brian Lee for the SMW championship
All in all, this was a good match. Not a great match, not an all-time classic, but a good match with a hot crowd and some solid action.

After a lengthy back-and-forth, Dirty White Boy looked to have the whole thing in the bag. Tammy Fytch got up on the apron to distract the referee, allowing her man Brian Lee to waffle the champion with an International Object.

Irate, Dirty White Girl jumped in the ring and leaped onto the champion's back, flashing her knickers in the process.

It was at that point that Mark Curtis turned around, saw White Girl, bare ass and all, and called for the bell.
Your Winner via disqualification and still SMW Champion: Prime Time Brian Lee

Post-match, Lee and Fytch did a number on DWB, but he and Dirty White Girl regrouped and stood tall in the middle of the ring, much to the delight of the live crowd.

Get a haircut, and get a real job

After a quick word from the announce team, we next went to a video package highlighting SMW tag team champions The Bruise Brothers.

To be honest, the video wasn't that interesting. It was basically clips of the future Skull & 8-Ball laying waste to a variety of opponents set to the song 'Get a Haircut
and Get a Real Job' by George Thorogood.

Jim Cornette and The Heavenly Bodies are Ready for The Bruise Brothers

The Bruise Brothers, you see, used to be in Jim Cornette's stable, but had a falling out with them and turned face, leading to tonight's match - a "gang fight" falls count anywhere match against The Heavenly Bodies.

Before the bout, Cornette, Gigolo Jimmy Del Ray, and Dr. Tom Pritchard cut a raving promo in which they declared that they weren't scared of the bigger, burlier Bruise Boys and besides, they had something up their sleeve.

Tag Team Gang Fight
The Heavenly Bodies (Gigolo Jimmy Del Ray & Dr. Tom Pritchard w/ Jim Cornette) vs. SMW Tag Team Champion The Bruise Brothers (Ron & Don)

Smoky Mountain Wrestling - The Heavenly Bodies faced The Bruise Brothers in a Tag Team Gang Fight
The Bruise Brothers' tag team titles weren't on the line in this match, a 'bring your favorite weapon' contest fought under Falls Count Anywhere rules.

Before the bell, Cornette and his men got on the microphone to rile up the crowd, ensuring everyone was more than ready to see them get their asses kicked.

And get their asses kicked they did..at least at first.

The Bruise Brothers stormed the ring and immediately set about laying waste to their opponents. In the opening moments, a wooden door was set up in the corner of the ring and Jimmy Del Ray was sent crashing through it. To give credit where it's due, the cameraman got a great shot of Del Ray's head sticking through the wooden door like something out of a Tom & Jerry cartoon.

From there, the bedlam continued.

There were no high spots, no jaw-dropping moments, just four angry dudes beating the hell out of each other with whatever they could get their hands on.

Sure, the fact that neither the cameras nor the commentators could keep up with the action when all four men paired off and scattered themselves around the arena, but apart from that, this was a fun main event.

The finish came when Mark Curtis took a tumble, giving  Jim Cornette the opportunity to douse a white rag in ether and smother one of the Bruise Brothers with it until he passed out. Before he could revive Curtis to make the match-winning count, however, the other Brother returned to the ring, tossed Jimmy through a table, then used the rag to knock Tom Pritchard out cold.  Curtis was revived, a ten count was delivered, and this one was over.
Your Winners: The Bruise Brothers

Except, it wasn't really.

After the bell, The Moondogs wobbled to the ring and helped Jimmy Del Ray and Jim Cornette beat up on Ron and Don, all while Pritchard lay out cold on the apron.

"Now who's the baddest street fights in Smoky Mountain Wrestling?" yelled Cornette as his team's arch-rivals writhed in agony on the floor.

Just when you thought it was over, we went backstage for a post-show wrap-up from Les Thatcher, not that Thatcher had an opportunity to say much as he was immediately interrupted by Ron and Don.

Last seeing sprawled out, half-dead in the middle of the ring, the duo had made a miraculous recovery and were fully pumped-up as they ranted and raved about getting revenge and even vowed to attack the Moondogs with an angle grinder.

I'm not kidding about that last part either.





It's a shame that the video I have for SMW Thanksgiving Thunder 1993 is of such poor quality because it really did make the whole event that much more difficult to watch. Looking past that, however, this was mostly a fun show.

Ignore the stupid Turkey Champion thing, and you had a pretty decent opener in Candido vs. Blaze. Add the entertaining SMW title fight and the old-school chaos of the main event, and you can almost forgive SMW for putting the abomination known as Prince Kharis on this show.

Overall, Thanksgiving Thunder '93 may not have been Smoky Mountain Wrestling's finest hour, but it certainly wasn't terrible.


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Thursday, 13 August 2020

EVENT REVIEW: Smoky Mountain Wrestling - Fire on the Mountain 1993

Smoky Mountain Wrestling - Fire on the Mountain 1993 Review - Event GraphicAugust 14th, 1993
Freedom Hall, Johnson City, Tennessee

Perhaps one of the strangest and most unique things about Smoky Mountain Wrestling is its origins.

This little-territory-that-could, so steeped in a tradition of southern-style wrestling that was becoming ever more unfashionable with the larger global community and so beloved by what many of the company's own stars called 'hillbillies' was bankrolled by none other than Rick Rubin, the famous music producer known for working many of the most popular and cutting edge artists for the better part of four decades.





Still, it was perhaps a testament to Rubin's hands-off approach that there was no sign  of anything particularly cutting edge on a hot summer's night in Johnson City when Smoky Mountain Wrestling Wrestling came to town.

Here's what went down at Fire on the Mountain 1993.

Welcome to Fire on the Mountain

Smoky Mountain Wrestling - Fire on the Mountain 1993 Review - Les Thatcher and Dutch Mantel called the event
We began tonight with our announcers, Les Thatcher and Dr. Dutch Mantell standing center ring.

Apparently, Mantell had earned his Ph.D. since we last saw him back at Smoky Mountain Wrestling Bluegrass Brawl 1993, but that's beside the point.

The two announcers talked us through some of the main attractions on tonight's card, including Tracy Smothers defending his title against Brian Lee, and a main event 'Rage in the Cage' match between Cornette's Criminals and Armstrong's Army.

Speaking of Rage in the Cage, the winner of our opening contest would earn an advantage for his team in the said main event.

'Gigolo' Jimmy Del Ray (w/ Jim Cornette) vs. Steve Armstrong

Smoky Mountain Wrestling - Fire on the Mountain 1993 Review - Gigelo Jimmy Del Ray beat Steve Armstrong in the opening match
Before the bell, Jim Cornette got up on the mic to talk about how much he'd love to slap 'smart alecs' like the ones in attendance.

Man, say what you want about Corny, he sure knew how to get a crowd worked up. The Johnson City faithfull really hated this guy, and made more noise for him than they did for the actual match.

That's something of a shame because Gigolo Jimmy Del Ray and Steve Armstrong did put on a competent opening match which, while hardly spectacular, did at least entertain from bell to bell.

After a decent seven-minute outing, the dastardly Cornette wallopped Armstrong with his tennis racket behind the back of referee Mark Curtis. He then helped Del Ray get his foot on the ropes to ensure an ill-gotten victory.
Your Winner: Jimmy Del Ray

The fact that the winner of that match gained a 2-on-1 advantage in the upcoming Rage in the Cage match pretty much telegraphed a win for the heels right from the start, but it was still a fun effort despite the telegraphed finish.

You Fight, I Fight...

Out in the back, Brian Matthews interviewed Dirty White Boy about his upcoming match with The Mongolian Stomper.

Sounding incredibly excited about the impending battle, White Boy acknowledged The Stomper's legendary status but insisted that he'd learned everything he needed to know in order to defeat him from another legend, Ron Wright.

'Stomper,' said White Boy. 'You fight, I fight, and that's just the way I like it!'

That match was next.

'Battle of the Brutes'
Dirty White Boy vs. The Mongolian Stomper

Smoky Mountain Wrestling - Fire on the Mountain 1993 Review - Dirty White Boy faced The Mongolian Stomper
The last time we saw Dirty White Boy in action, he was dropping his world title to Tracy Smothers back at Bluegrass Brawl.

That match was pretty awesome.

This one, not so much.

White Boy attacked Stomper as the legendary grappler came through the ropes and from that point on, neither man let up, giving us five, unrelenting minutes of clobbering blows, the occasional bit of biting and... well, not much else.

Though watching the two men wail on each other wasn't bad, it was a little underwhelming.

After five minutes, the two were so engrossed in punching each other that they both shoved Mark Curtis aside when he tried to break them up.

That led to the double disqualification and this one was over.
Double DQ

Post-match, Stomper and White Boy brawled all the way to the back.

Who Will Drink From a Baby Bottle?

Smoky Mountain Wrestling - Fire on the Mountain 1993 Review - White Lightning Tim Horner faced Chris Candido
Up next, 'White Lightning' Tim Horner was set to take on 'Suicide Blonde' Chris Candido in a bout that had one unique stipulation:

Yep, the loser would have to drink from a baby bottle.

Before the match, Brian Matthews interviewed both participants. I'm not sure if Tim Horner intentionally meant to be so funny, but as he ranted on about how Chris Candido would have no problem sucking from a baby bottle because that's what he did 'all night, all the time,' you couldn't help but laugh out loud.

Chris Candido was a little more put-together in his promo.

One of the most underrated heels ever, 'Suicide Blonde' protested the indignity that he, the so-called 'Real World's champion' had to compete in a baby bottle match when the likes of Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair would never have to go through such humiliation.

With that out of the way, it was down to ringside.

'Loser Must Suck From a Baby Bottle'
WWA Heavyweight Champion 'Suicide Blonde' Chris Candido vs. 'White Lightning' Tim Horner

Smoky Mountain Wrestling - Fire on the Mountain 1993 Review - Chris Candido faced White Lightning Tim Horner
To be honest, I'm not quite sure where the WWA title that Chris Candido was wearing came from as I can't seem to find much information on it. If anybody reading this could fill me in, I'd be very grateful.

I'm also not sure whether Tim Horner knew that 'White Lightning' is a cheap brand of cider in the UK closely associated with alcoholics, but that's neither here nor there.

The match itself was pretty good stuff.

As with most Smoky Mountain bouts, you were never going to get a five-star classic here, but Candido and Horner did at least give us a solid see-saw battle with plenty of enjoyable moments.

Towards the finish, referee Mark Curtis tried to dive out of harm's way but got knocked to the outside by the two wrestlers.

Candido then tried charging at Horner, but White Lightning side-stepped, causing the Suicide Blonde to go crashing onto the outside.

Only seeing part of this, Curtis returned to the ring and called for the bell. Apparently thinking that Horner had deliberately thrown his opponent over the top, the referee awarded the match to Candido on the grounds that throwing someone over the top rope was illegal in SMW.
Your Winner via Disqualification: Chris Candido

Smoky Mountain Wrestling - Fire on the Mountain 1993 Review - Tim Horner cut an angry promo after his match with Chris Candido
Ignoring the fact that this was the second match in a row to end on a DQ finish of some kind, Candido smashed Horner in the face with his WWA title belt, then pushed him into the ropes where he tried -and failed- to tie him up using wrist tape.

Though he couldn't get him tied up, Candido did at least force his rival to suck from a baby bottle, so there was that at least.

Backstage, Brian Matthews caught up with Horner, who vowed that in revenge for Candido squirting milk on him, he was going to -and I quote- "squirt something on you, and it's not going to be milk!"

The less said about that, the better.

We're Ready for the Coal Miner's Glove Match

Smoky Mountain Wrestling - Fire on the Mountain 1993 Review - Brian Matthews interviews Tammy Fytch and Prime Time Brian Lee
Up next, we got pre-recorded comments from SMW Champion Prime Time Brian Lee and his manager, Tammy Fytch.

With Brian Matthews holding the microphone, Fytch expressed her disgust that her man Lee should have to compete in a coal miner's glove match before both of them went on about how much of a pervert Tracy Smothers was.

In one of the better promos of the evening, Lee promised that by the time he was done with his opponent, Smothers wouldn't be able to perv on Fytch any more.

We then went to more pre-recorded comments, this time from the challengers.

Pointing at himself, Smothers declared "the light's on but nobody's home." Surely that's up there with Sid Vicious' "I only have half the brain that you do" moment when it comes to inadvertently cutting a promo on yourself?

That dumb moment aside, The Wild-Eyed Southern Boy admitted that he was a hillbilly, a redneck, and all of the other terms that Lee had tried to use as an insult against him before vowing to dethrone his rival and become the Smoky Mountain Wrestling Champion for the third time.

Coal Miner's Glove Match for the Smoky Mountain Wrestling Heavyweight Title
SMW Heavyweight Champion Prime Time Brian Lee (w/ Tammy Fytch) vs. Tracy Smothers

Smoky Mountain Wrestling - Fire on the Mountain 1993 Review - Tracy Smothers challenged Prime Time Brian Lee for the SMW title
Prior to the bell, Tammy Fyth got on the microphone to address the crowd. When the Tennessee faithful roundly booed her and Lee, the SMW Champion declared that if they carried on, he and Fyth would simply leave.

It was an effective move to get the crowd well pumped up, but it didn't see the champ and his manager leave. Instead, they were yelled at by Tracy Smothers who -for like the tenth time on the show so far- referred to the future Sunny as 'Tammy Witch with a Capital B.'

Later, Smothers interrupted the match to take the microphone again, this time calling Brian Lee a 'f*ggot' much to the delight of the crowd.

Ah, the early 1990s, when casual homophobia was still a reason to cheer.

That aside, this was another pretty solid effort. Nothing flashy, nothing altogether memorable, but decent old-school wrestling that kept the crowd -and this writer- suitably entertained.

Sure, it would have been better if the two had made more of an effort to reach for the coal miner's glove rather than applying rest holds, but that aside, it was a good showing.

After close to twenty minutes, the champion retrieved the glove, which turned out to be nothing more than a rubber washing-up glove painted silver. Before he could use it, Smother's attacked with a dropkick slipped on the rubber glove and smashed his foe in the mush.

It was that point that shenanigans came into play.

Tammy distracted the referee while Dirty White Boy ran in and walloped Smothers with a chair. He put the glove onto Lee, draped Lee's arm across Smother's chest, and left the ring.

One three count later and this one was over.
Your Winner and Still SMW Champion: Brian Lee

Post-match, Smothers sought revenge, attacking his rivals and bending Tammy over for a good old fashioned spanking. White Boy and Lee retaliated, attacking the fallen babyface until Mark Curtis got on the mic and threatened to have them permanently suspended if they laid another finger on The Wild Eyed Southern Boy.

I won't lie, Curtis' voice was surprisingly deep for such a small dude.

Dissension in the Ranks

Smoky Mountain Wrestling - Fire on the Mountain 1993 Review -  Prime Time Brian Lee, Tammy Fytch and Dirty White Boy celebrate
Making their way backstage, White Boy, Lee, and Fytch stopped by for an interview with the ever-present Brian Matthews. After Tammy got done calling Smothers a 'woman beater,' Prime Time boasted that not only was he still the champion, but that he'd also now be able to collect a $20,000 bounty put on the head of The Wild Eyed Southern Boy by Ron Wright.

"Wait, what do you mean you'll get the $20,000?" asked Dirty White Boy. "I'm the one that took Smothers out."

The two began a little argument, but before it could escalate into anything, we were taken to the ring where Les Thatcher and Dutch Mantell introduced us to some pre-recorded comments from tonight's main event teams.

Ready for War

First up, Jim Cornette stood by in an empty dressing room with his team, Cornette's Criminals. Ever a convincing act on the microphone, Cornette promised that his team were ready for war, with The Bruise Brothers (Ron & Don Harris) serving as the big tanks that would mow everybody down before his 'Secret Service' of The Heavenly Bodies went in to finish the job.

Offering a retort, Bullet Bob Armstrong got insisted that his Armstrong's Army were all gunning directly for Cornette and that they would go through The Bruise Brothers and The Heavenly Bodies just to get their hands on the outspoken manager.

Rage in a Cage
Cornette's Criminals (SMW Tag Team Champions The Bruise Brothers, The Heavenly Bodies, and Jim Cornette) vs. Armstrong's Army (Bullet Bob Armstrong, Scott Armstrong, Steve Armstrong, and Rock N’ Roll Express)

Smoky Mountain Wrestling - Fire on the Mountain 1993 Review - Armstrong's Army cut a backstage promo before facing Cornette's CriminalsSpecial Guest referee: The Big Boss Man

Let's get this out of the way right now, shall we?

This was just about the worst-looking cage in the history of pro wrestling. Cobbled together using timber and chicken wire, it looked like something some half-assed backyard wrestling fed would get laughed at for using.

Seriously, it could hardly contain a couple of chickens, let alone ten human beings.

Still, it did a good job of containing our special guest referee for this evening, The Big Boss Man.

Having left the WWF earlier in the year (though not without first appearing on Wrestlemania: The Album), the former Big Bubba Rogers had made his way to SMW for a conflict with Cornette, for whom he'd previously been a bodyguard way back in the day.

Before the match, Cornette lambasted Boss Man and questioned whether he really had 'changed his ways' as he'd claimed. Finally, Jimmy introduced us to his team before the opposition made their way out.

The match began, and from that point on, Big Boss Man might as well have not been there. He simply walked around aimlessly while the other men went at it.

In case you're wondering just what 'Rage in the Cage' was, it was basically a low-rent War Games with the added stipulation that along with submitting someone, you could also win by handcuffing all of the opposing team to the cage.

It was a novel concept, however, much like the nine-man mess from Bluegrass Brawl, this one was hard to watch at points.

Fortunately, at other points, it provided some genuinely engrossing moments.

Ricky Morton got busted open about ten seconds into the match and proceeded to gush like a fountain for the remainder. Bullet Bob went crazy when he finally made his way into the ring as the last man for Armstrong's Army, and the remaining contestants saw to it that this was a very lively brawl indeed.

In the end, Armstrong's Army had all of Cornette's Criminals handcuffed to the cage, allowing Bullet Bob to clamp Jim Cornette himself into a submission hold and win the match.
Your Winners: Armstrong's Army

Though not exactly this writer's favorite type of wrestling, I can certainly see the appeal of a match like Rage in the Cage.

Special Bonus Feature:
Lumberjack Match
Bullet Bob Armstrong (w/ Armstrong's Army) vs. Jim Cornette (w/ Cornette's Criminals)

Special Guest Referee: Big Boss Man

Smoky Mountain Wrestling - Fire on the Mountain 1993 Review - Cornette's Criminals cut a backstage promo before facing  Armstrong's Army
This match didn't actually take place at SMW Fire on the Mountain 1993 but took place at some other event and was tacked onto this recording as a bonus.

This time, Boss Man was a little more involved, demanding Cornette get in the ring after the cowardly manager tried everything from feigning an injury to presenting a note from his mother to get out of the match.

Once things got underway, Boss Man continued to ensure law, order, and justice prevailed as he presided over a fun little contest in which Cornette used heel shenanigans (namely, interference) to get the upper hand.

All the while, The Bruise Brothers, The Heavenly Bodies, The Rock & Roll Express, and The Armstrong Brothers all hung around ringside in their role as lumberjacks, each man brandishing one of Cornette's trademark tennis rackets.

At the finish, Bullet Bob drilled James E. with not one but two piledrivers, one of which the announcer called an atomic drop.
Your Winner: Bullet Bob Armstrong

Post-match, a bloody Jim Cornette sold the piledrivers like he'd just been murdered and had to be stretchered out of the arena into a waiting ambulance. The whole thing played out as we listened to Bullet Bob Armstrong's theme song, Bad to the Bone by George Thoroughgood.

It was, admittedly, really cool, and probably the most unique end to a pro wrestling event this writer has seen in a long time.





All in all then, another good show from the southern promotion.

As I said last time, you're never going to get five-star quality from a promotion like Smoky Mountain Wrestling, but you will get plenty of entertaining, even if a lot of that entertainment seems incredibly dated (and, in the case of Smothers' slurs, pretty darn offensive) by today's standards.

Match of the night goes to Candido vs. Horner, if only because that terrible-looking cage made the main event look a bit ridiculous.

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Thursday, 2 April 2020

EVENT REVIEW: Smoky Mountain Wrestling - Bluegrass Brawl 1993

Smoky Mountain Wrestling - Blue Grass Brawl 1993
April 2nd, 1993
Pikesville College Gym, Pikeville, Kentucky

Confession time: Your writer has been a fan of professional wrestling for over 25 years and yet never once sat down to watch a Smoky Mountain Wrestling show. 

Sure, the promotion had always been on my radar.

Founded by Jim Cornette in 1991, the southern promotion served as the launchpad for a number of 1990s stars, with everyone from Chris Jericho and Lance Storm to Tammy 'Sunny' Sytch, Al Snow, Kane, Road Dogg and D'Lo Brown -among many others- all enjoying runs with the company early in their career.

Still, despite knowing all this, it wasn't until I discovered a bunch of their old shows on YouTube that I finally got to watch any of it.






Join me then, as I head to Pikeville, Kentucky in the year 1993 to watch my first Smoky Mountain Wrestling show.

Please Stand for 'My Old Kentucky Home'

You know how wrestling companies will occasionally have the national anthem performed at the start of the show to add some gravitas and sense of importance to the occasion?

Smoky Mountain Wrestling -Lance Russel and Les Thatcher hosted the eventYeah, well, Smoky Mountain Wrestling didn't do that, instead asking the crowd to stand for a recording of anti-slavery anthem and official Kentucky State Song, My Old Kentucky Home.

With that out of the way, Les Thatcher told us it was time to 'kick open the doors' on Bluegrass Brawl.

Standing center ring with his colleague, Lance Russel, Thatcher handed things over to Russel who gushed about being invited to participate in tonight's main event.

Running down tonight's card, Russel continually referred to the show as 'Bluegrass Ball.'

You have to forgive him, though, this guy was VERY EXCITED about being there.

Rob Morgan vs. The Mongolian Stomper

If you think Shane McMahon's punches look weak, I dare you to watch this match. Compared to Rob Morgan's offense, everything Shane O' Mac does looks stiff as hell.

Seriously. Morgan attacked The Mongolian Stomper as he climbed through the ropes, beating him with punches to the gut and clobbering forearms to the back.

Not a single thing he did looked like it would hurt in the slightest, so it was no surprise The Stomper turned around and beat the living daylights out of his terrible opponent.

Poor, feeble Morgan didn't stand a chance. The Stomper threw him to the outside, beat his ass there, then took him back to the ring and knocked him out with the cobra clutch.

After those first few seconds of horrible punches, Morgan didn't get in another lick of offense in this short and forgettable nothing match.
Your Winner: The Mongolian Stomper

Smoky Mountain Wrestling - Prime Time Brian Lee is interviewed before his match
Out in the back, Prime Time Brian Lee stood around looking completely different than you may remember him if you only know him from his WWF run as Chainz and onwards.

Anyway, Lee told interviewer Brian Matthews that he was ready for his Russian Roulette match with the dastardly Kevin Sullivan and that, tonight, Sullivan was about to get a taste of his own medicine.

Roll the dice...Make the Erm...Deal

About six months earlier, World Championship Wrestling had famously done their big 'Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal' gimmick in which the stipulation for a match between Jake 'The Snake' Roberts and Sting would be decided by the spin of a roulette wheel.

Here, Smoky Mountain Wrestling were set to do the exact same thing for 'Russian Roulette' grudge match between arch-rivals 'Prime Time' Brian Lee and Kevin Sullivan.

The only difference, of course, was that SMW didn't have nearly the same budget as WCW.

So, instead of a fancy roulette wheel, they simply rolled dice in the middle of the ring to determine what kind of match Lee and Sullivan would have.

According to Lance Russell, each number of the dice was linked to a different type of match.

1: A 'Prince of Darkness' (blindfold) match
2: A Stretcher match
3: A Handicap match in which Lee would have to face Sullivan & The Nightstalker
4: A 'Ring of Fire' (inferno) match
5: A 'Singapore Spike' match in which four boxes would be attached to the corners of the ring. One box contained a Singapore spike which could be used by whoever found it.
6: Brian Lee's choice

Lee rolled the dice and, naturally, it landed on six. At least, it did if you take SMW's word for it. The cameras never actually showed you a close up of the dice.

After all that, Lee opted for a Singapore spike match despite the fact he could have had *literally* any match he wanted.

Tim Horner is Ready for The Nightstalker

Smoky Mountain Wrestling - White Lightning Tim Horner is interviewed before his match
Out in the back, 'White Lightning' Tim Horner had some harsh words for his opponent, The Nightstalker.

The two had been at war since getting involved in the Lee/Sullivan rivalry, with Horner helping out Brian Lee and Nightstalker serving as Sullivan's muscle.

Horner vowed to take care of his opponent in their upcoming match, then revealed that both of them would be handcuffed to different corners of the ring during the Lee/Sullivan.

"This means I might not be able to get at you, but I can definitely keep an eye on you," said Horner. It was the least menacing thing any wrestler had ever said in a promo.

Yep, you better watch out, Nightstalker. If you're not careful, Tim Horner is going to LOOK AT YOU.

'White Lightning' Tim Horner vs. The Nightstalker

Smoky Mountain Wrestling - White Lightning Tim Horner faces Night Stalker (Adam Bomb)
Yep, before he went to Three Mile Island to get tangled up in a nuclear disaster, Bryan Clarke was a man who stalked the night...or stalked by night, or something.

Here, the big man displayed plenty of charisma and a reasonable amount of athleticism as he locked up with Horner in what turned out to be a pretty fun match.

OK, so this was far from a five-star classic, but the crowd were solidly into this one and as a result, every single move, no matter how basic, seemed like a very, very big deal.

After taking a pounding at the hands of his larger opponent, babyface Horner had the crowds solidly behind him as he mounted a comeback, eventually leaping onto Nightstalker's back and slapping on a sleeper hold.

With nowhere to go, 'Stalker headed for the ropes and dumped his opponent over the top to the outside.

Since throwing your opponent over the top was illegal here in SMW, that gave the win to White Lighting.
Your Winner via Disqualification: Tim Horner

Smoky Mountain Wrestling - Kevin Sullivan is interviewed before his match
Backstage, Brian Matthews stood by with a man he called 'Evil Kevin Sullivan.'

'I'm not evil,' claimed Sullivan, 'I'm just misunderstood.'

Despite his protest, Sullivan then cut a fun promo in which he insisted his upcoming Singapore spike match would be just as much fun as the time he went around clubbing baby seals.

Honestly.

Singapore Spike Match
Kevin Sullivan (w/ The Nightstalker) vs. 'Prime Time' Brian Lee (w/ Tim Horner)

Before the bell, the ring announcer reminded us of the rules:

Four boxes were placed on the corners of the ring, one containing a spike, the other three containing 'nothing but air.' The object was to find the spike and beat up your opponent with it.

Instead of running straight for the corners, both men instead laid into one another with a flurry of rights and lefts, building up what turned out to be a very enjoyable brawl.

We had steel chairs, we had Sullivan whacking Lee with a random sandbag, and we even had a hammer come into play.

Unfortunately, the one thing we didn't have was a solid ending.

Somehow, The Nightstalker ended up with the spike and gave it to Sullivan. The spike got dropped, 'Stalker picked it up again and this time refused to give it to his man.

The distraction allowed Horner to pull down Sullivan's tights and get the three count thanks to a roll-up.

Yes, this hotly-anticipated blood feud came to an end with a roll-up.
Your Winner: Tim Horner

Afterward, Sullivan got into it with The Nightstalker. It would have been more dramatic had there not been a problem with the handcuffs used on The Nightstalker.

For some reason, they couldn't get him free so they literally had to take down the second turnbuckle to free him. When he finally got free, 'Stalker saw off Sullivan, effectively turning babyface in the process.

Tracy Smothers is From the South

Smoky Mountain Wrestling - Tracy Smothers is interviewed before his match
With the ring left in shambles, we next went backstage where Brian Matthews stood by for an interview with 'Wild-Eyed Southern Boy' Tracy Smothers.

A fired-up Smothers wasted no time laying into his opponent Dirty White Boy. The two would face later in a chain match for the world title in front of what Smothers over-optimistically called 'millions of people.'

Despite forgetting his lines a couple of times, the Wild-Eyed one did cut a mostly compelling promo as he promised to get revenge on White Boy for costing him the TV title and $5,000, and for doing something unsavory to his rebel flag.

This last heinous deed was a particularly sore point for Smothers because he took great pride in being a southerner from the south who liked southern things, and if you didn't know that already, the southern wrestler did at least take the time to tell you all about how southern he was in every other sentence.

Take my Chain...

Smoky Mountain Wrestling - Ron Wright presents his famous chain to Dirty White Boy
Out at ringside, Dutch Mantell thrust a microphone in the face of a wheelchair-bound Ron Wright, a Tennessee legend who had enjoyed runs in promotions like the NWA and Mid-Atlantic.

With the world champion Dirty White Boy standing by, Wright lifted a big heavy chain from what was literally a plastic bag you'd get from the grocery store.

Telling us all about how he'd kept this chain in great condition ever since he'd been bound to a wheelchair, the retired star made out like this chain was his most prized possession, which makes you wonder why he kept it in a dirty plastic bag.

Anyway, the whole point of this was that Wright was now gifting this chain to Dirty White Boy in a weird and trashy passing-of-the-torch ceremony.

'I Won't Bring Shame to the Chain'

Smoky Mountain Wrestling - Just Dirty White Boy with a deadly weapon
Up next, we cut to a pre-recorded promo in which Dirty White Boy pretended to be in New York City even though he was clearly in some random park in Tennessee.

The Smoky Mountain Heavyweight Champion gave smothers a verbal beat down, promising that he wouldn't 'bring shame to the chain' given to him by Ron Wright, but would instead use the chain to beat Smothers' brains out.

After taking some time to insult all the people of the Smoky Mountain region,  White Boy then proceeded to take the chain and whack it into a bag of flour, a pineapple, a melon and a bottle of beer, all of which were supposed to represent his opponent in some way.

Finally, after a brief catch-up with our announce team, it was on to the match itself.

Tennesee Chain Match for the Smoky Mountain Wrestling Heavyweight Championship
SMW Heavyweight Champion Dirty White Boy (w/ Ron Wright) vs. Tracy Smothers

I'll be honest with you, I wasn't expecting much from this, but man was I ever wrong.

Smoky Mountain Wrestling - Dirty White Boy faced Tracy Smothers in a Strap match
Basically, this was your standard strap match with a really long chain in place of a leather strap, Smothers and Dirty White Boy were absolutely compelling as they engaged in a bloody, old-school brawl.

The challenger took the advantage early on, beating the champion from pillar to post and back again, all to the delight of the Tennesee faithful. Eventually, however, Dirty White Boy regained the upper hand, beating his rival to a bloody pulp and ramming the chain violently into the gash on Smother's forehead.

From there, we got a good, solid championship match that kept the crowd fully invested from start to finish.

After a really entertaining brawl, the match ended the same way that just about every strap match ever ended:

The heel took charge and touched the first three corners, dragging the face behind him. The face, naturally touched all three corners too, then beat his opponent to the fourth 'buckle, winning the match -and the title- in the process.

If that sounds familiar to you, it's because it was the exact same ending that Stone Cold Steve Austin and Savio Vega would eventually use three years later in their match at In Your House 8: Beware of Dog.
Your Winner and NEW SMW Champion: Tracy Smothers

After celebrating with the crowd, the new champion made his way backstage where he was interviewed by Lance Russel, who called the preceding contest the best match he'd seen in his life.

Smothers was inclined to agree and spent the next two minutes rambling on about how it was the greatest match of his life. Before he could say anything else, however, Dirty White Boy showed up, knocked him down with a block of wood and kicked him square in the bollocks.

Personally, I don't know what White Boy was so mad about.

After all, he had a lucrative career in plumbing waiting for him.

Fighting Words

Prior to our three-team, nine-man street fight main event, we got backstage promos from each team.

Smoky Mountain Wrestling - Blue Grass Brawl 93 - The Stud Stable
First up, The Stud Stable of Robert Fuller, Jimmy Golden, and Dutch Mantell cut a wild and intense southern heel promo in which they typically vowed to destroy their opponents.

Next, we heard from 'The Enforcer' An Anderson and his partners, Robert Gibson, Ricky Morton, and Ricky Morton's amazing mullet.

Anderson cut a ridiculous promo in which he likened the beatdown he was going to give his opponents to the feeling you get when you go without underwear or get a DUI and crash your car.

Apparently, those two things feel exactly the same as getting beaten up by The Enforcer.

I know Anderson is a legend and one of the greatest solid wrestlers of all time, but this promo was all kinds of stupid.

Finally, Jim Cornette and The Heavenly Bodies cut the most compelling promo of all, insisting that the Smoky Mountain tag team champions had never lost a street fight yet and weren't about to start today.

All the while, their partner, Beautiful Bobby Eaton stood in the background looking like he'd just randomly walked on set and didn't know why he was there.

Three-Team Street Fight
The Stud Stable (Robert Fuller, Jimmy Golden & Dutch Mantell) vs. The Rock & Roll Express (Ricky Morton & Robert Gibson) & Arn Anderson vs. SMW Tag Team Champions The Heavenly Bodies (Stan Lane & Tom Pritchard) & Beautiful Bobby Eaton w/ Jim Cornette

Smoky Mountain Wrestling - Blue Grass Brawl 93 - Arn Anderson and The Rock 'n' Roll Express
A wild, out-of-control ECW-style garbage brawl which took place a full year before ECW officially became extreme, this looked like it was a lot of fun for the live crowd.

Unfortunately, any enjoyment didn't really translate when you watch this back on video.

With all nine-men competing at once, it was necessary to show the majority of the bout from the hard camera, which made it really hard to focus on anything at all. Instead, you just kind of sat back and looked at the screen as the combatants battered each other with trashcans, straps, and even a tyre.

At one point, Tom Pritchard got busted open. Admittedly, the resulting crimson mask looked pretty impressive, but the actual act of him getting his head caved in was lost amidst the rest of the carnage, severely limiting its impact.

At another point, Bobby Eaton's pants fell down. It was legitimately the most exciting thing in the match.

Eventually, The Stud Stable got taken out before Arn Anderson came in with a fire extinguisher. In the resulting mele, Tom Pritchard scaled the ropes and came down with a flying knee. True to their earlier word, The Heavenly Bodies ensured their run of success in street fights remained unbroken.
Your Winners: The Heavenly Bodies & Bobby Eaton

Afterward, the winning team were interviewed in the back by Brian Matthews, with Jim Cornette promising that The Heavenly Bodies would reign supreme over SMW for a long time to come.







You know, it's interesting. I've been a wrestling fan for over 25 years and yet this is the first time I've ever sat down to watch a Smoky Mountain Wrestling show. On the whole, I have to say that I did genuinely enjoy it. 

OK, so it wasn't a classic, but it was far from the worst wrestling show ever produced and gave us some genuinely enjoyable wrestling in the form of Smothers vs. Dirty White Boy and even Nightstalker vs. Tim Horner.

Seriously, who knew Adam Bomb was so good at working a crowd?

Though the main event did disappoint in this fan's eyes, I will say that Bluegrass Brawl '93 did at least get me intrigued enough to check out more SMW shows.




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