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Showing posts with label Rebellion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rebellion. Show all posts

Thursday, 29 August 2019

PPV REVIEW: WWF Rebellion 1999

WWE / WWF Rebellion 1999 - Event poster
October 2nd, 1999
National Indoor Arena, Birmingham, England

Between 1996 and 1999, your writer attended every WWF event to take place in the UK.

Or at least, I thought I did.

Somehow, Rebellion 1999 happened without me being there, or even having any memory of it.

Whether I'd just exhausted the time and money my Dad was prepared to spend on taking me to wrestling shows (I was 15) with the UK version of No Mercy which had taken place earlier that year, or whether it was around this time that I started to fall out of love with pro wrestling for a while, I honestly can't remember.

Still, we're here now, so let's head down to Birmingham, England for the first ever Rebellion PPV.





Two men set to kick some bum

WWE / WWF Rebellion 1999 - Jim Ross & Michael Hayes called the action
Our show tonight began with an opening video which was voiceovered by a stereotypically posh Englishman talking about Mr Helmsley and Mr Rock.

This was countered by a brash American voiceover referring to them instead as Triple H and The Great One before declaring that these were two men set to -and I quote- "kick some bum."

It's rare that you'll ever hear me moan about one of WWE's usually awesome opening video packages, but my goodness this was cringeworthy.

When it finally ended, we went live to the arena to be greeted by Jim Ross and his colleague Michael Hayes.

No, I don't know where Jerry Lawler was either.

Hayes was super excited about our main event tonight - a one-on-one showdown in which The Rock and Triple H would apparently kick some bum.

First, however, we had our undercard to get to.

Jeff Jarrett hates women

WWE / WWF Rebellion 1999 - Jeff Jarrett w/ Miss Kitty
Now at the height of his misogynist gimmick, Jeff Jarrett entered the National Indoor Arena first and took some time out to insult women everywhere, but especially those here in Birmingham.

Say what you want about the gimmick itself, Jarrett was very good at playing it and managed to get some serious, serious heat just by calling a few women ugly.

He then took out a vacuum cleaner and issued a "Thousand-pound challenge" - any woman who would step in the ring and do some vacuuming, thus proving that this was all women were good for - would earn £1,000.

After much deliberation, Jarrett picked a "fan" out of the front row, dumped a bunch of dust on the ring apron, then had her vacuum it up. Not that she could. The vacuum cleaner clearly wasn't plugged in, so the dust just stayed where it was, which made the whole thing look a bit silly.

Rather than actually plugging the vacuum in, Jarrett decided to attack the "fan" and put her in a figure-four leg lock.

Proving that she needed to spend way more time in whatever wrestling school they'd found her at, the "fan" sold Jarrett's figure four as though he were slightly flicking her on the knee.

Finally, Chyna ran in to a huge ovation and beat Jarret to a pulp.

As Double J reeled on the outside, referee Mike Chioda conducted a coin toss to decide whether it was Jarrett's Intercontinental championship or D'Lo Brown's European Championship that would be on the line in the next match.

It was heads, so we had ourselves an Intercontinental Championship match even though it would have made much, much more sense for D'Lo Brown to defend the European Championship in Europe.

World Wrestling Federation Intercontinental Championship
WWF Intercontinental Champion Jeff Jarrett (w/ Miss Kitty) vs. WWF Europea Champion D'Lo Brown

Once the two finally locked up, things developed into a good, though not necessarily great match.

The Birmingham crowd were really into D'Lo, and their unwavering enthusiasm for the show itself added an extra level of enjoyment to what was a pretty solid effort.

After a lot of back-and-forth action, Miss Kitty distracted the referee so that Jarrett could blast D'Lo with a vacuum cleaner for the match-winning three count.
Your Winner and Still Intercontinental Champion: Jeff Jarrett

Post-match, Double J challenged Chyna to a match for later on in the show. Apparently, we'd be getting a whole lot of Jeff Jarrett tonight.

The Godfather vs. Gangrel

WWE / WWF Rebellion 1999 - The Godfather faced Gangrel
Ah yes, The Godfather vs. Gangrel - the match you always wanted to see.

Before the bell, Godfather refused to give one of his hos to Gangrel then proceded to go after him in what was a very underwhelming contest.

The very definition of a filler match, absolutely nothing interesting happened outside of Michael Hayes informing us that Chyna had accepted Jeff Jarrett's challenge.

After a few minutes of nothingness, Godfather hit the Ho Train and the Pimp Drop to win the match.
Your winner: The Godfather

Afterwards, Godfather set his hos loose on referee Tim White. Having the time of his life, White got down and boogied with the bikini-clad ladies.

It was pretty funny.

Jeff Jarrett has Vachyna envy

WWE / WWF Rebellion 1999 - Michael Cole interviews Chyna
Out in the back, Michael Cole asked Chyna if she accepted Jeff Jarrett's challenge. Despite just telling us she had a few minutes earlier, Michael Hayes acted surprised when Chyna confirmed that she did.

That was dumb.

It was almost as dumb as The Ninth Wonder of the World telling us that while some men had penis envy, Jeff Jarrett had vachyna envy. You know, because it sounds a bit like vagina?

Ahem. Yeah.

Anyway, Chyna was then interrupted by The British Bulldog.

Receiving a rousing chorus of boos from his countrymen, Davey Boy insisted that nobody wanted him to see him fight "that long haired freak" X-Pac and that he should instead have a title shot against Triple H. Playing the heel to full effect, Bulldog stormed off to demand such a shot from Vince McMahon.

Val Venis vs. Mark Henry

Well, this was fifty shades of meh.

Val Venis made light work of super heavyweight Mark Henry, beating him with the Money Shot after three terribly uneventful minutes.

Man, I'm actually starting to be grateful that I wasn't at this show after all.
Your Winner: Val Venis

WWE / WWF Rebellion 1999 - British Bulldog confronts Vince and Shane McMahon
Out in the back, British Bulldog stormed into Vince McMahon's office to demand a title shot against Triple H.

When McMahon reminded Davey that he'd already had one on Smackdown, an angry Bulldog picked up a rubbish bin and threw it across the room.

Cameras then cut away to Stephanie McMahon lying on the floor, insinuating that Davey had knocked her out with the bin.

World Wrestling Federation Women's Championship
WWF Women's Champion Ivory vs. Tori vs. Jacqueline vs. Luna

The last time we saw Jacqueline here in the UK, she was getting her boobs out back at Capital Carnage 1998. Tonight, she kept all of her clothes on as she locked up with Luna Vachon, Tori, and WWF Women's Champion Ivory.
WWE / WWF Rebellion 1999 - Ivory and Jacqueline square off
Look, I hate to rag on the women. I'm a fan of at least three of them, but this was an absolute hot mess of a match.

At one point, Ivory dropped to the outside and let the other three duke out it before finally coming back in to pick up the scraps.

With Tim White's back turned, she blasted Jacqueline with the title and won what was a really poor bout.
Your Winner and Stil WWF Women's Champion: Ivory

Out in the back, we were shown paramedics putting Stephanie -now wearing a neck brace- onto a stretcher and wheeling her off. We were also shown a recap of the bin-throwing incident from about five minutes ago.

You know, just in case we missed it.

Looking back on it a second time, one thing stood out as being pretty odd:

When Stephanie was on the floor, the bin the Bulldog had thrown was now nowhere in sight despite the fact that it must have landed nearby.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the arena, Michael Cole and Davey Boy Smith watched via a monitor as Stephanie was stretchered out. Bulldog told Cole that what happened to Stephanie was an accident and that he didn't owe Vince an apology but rather Vince owed him one.

If anything, this was an effective way to establish the Bulldog as a hated villain in his own country.

WWF Tag Team Champion Road Dogg vs. Chris Jericho (w/ Curtis Hughes)

WWE / WWF Rebellion 1999 - Chris Jericho faced Road Dogg
Oh, you didn't know?

Making his UK debut, Chris Jericho had been at war with Road Dogg for months after he legitimately injured him shortly after his debut.

Behind the scenes, this was the reason that Jericho had to run all his matches by X-Pac first. In front of the camera, it was the reason why he and Road Dogg had engaged in a war of words back at Summerslam 1999, and why they were going at it tonight.

Cutting Y2J off as he made his entrance, the D-O-Double-G took the fight to his opponent in what turned out to be the best match on the show (at least up to now) by a country mile.

This was a highly entertaining contest with a hot finish that saw Road Dogg make a miraculous, last-second kick out after being blasted with a vicious chair shot by Jericho's bodyguard, Curtis Hughes.

By the way, here's one thing I never mentioned back in the Unforgiven 1999 review. If your only memory of Mr Curtis Hughes is as the big fat guy from the late 80s/early 90s, you might want to check him out in 1999. The dude was jacked!

Anyway, despite kicking out of the chair shot, Road Rogg eventually succumbed to a low blow and lost this terrific match.
Your Winner: Chris Jericho

Prior to the next match, we saw clips of fans lining up outside Virgin Records in London for a meet and greet with The Rock and Big Show.

WWF Intercontinental Champion Jeff Jarrett (w/ Miss Kitty) vs. Chyna

Though it was about five times shorter than their match at Unforgiven, this quick little contest was far more enjoyable.

Before it could pick up steam, however, British Bulldog ran in and clobbered Chyna before drilling her with a powerslam.

Jim Ross claimed that he had done so because, in their earlier backstage encounter, Chyna had claimed Davey Boy had a face like the ass-end of a dog.

Really though, it made more sense that he was trying to get the attention of Chyna's partner in crime, Triple H.
Your Winner via DQ: Chyna

Post-match, Jeff Jarrett slapped the Figure Four on Chyna until all the referees broke it up.

We then saw more clips from The Rock and Big Show's autograph signing in London.

No Disqualification Match
The Big Show vs. Kane

WWE / WWF Rebellion 1999 - Big Show puts Kane in a boston crab
Though most of this no DQ match was basically just a regular match, it was still pretty fun, or at least as fun as you were going to get from The Big Show and Kane.

Sure, there was a little too much reliance on drawn out submission spots, but when the two were just laying into each other, it was an enjoyable watch.

In the end, Show went to smash Kane with a chair but The Big Red Machine kicked it into his opponent's face then lifted him up for an awesome looking bodyslam to win the match.

Yes, I know bodyslams aren't usually awesome, but the way Kane lifted Show like he was nothing was pretty impressive.
Your Winner: Kane

Backstage, Michael Cole interviewed Triple H, bringing up the fact that British Bulldog had been running roughshod all night.

The WWF Champion claimed that he didn't care about Bulldog, about Jeff Jarrett, or even about Chyna at that point. All he cared about was defending his title against The Rock in tonight's main event. Referring to himself as 'The Game' for the first time on a WWF PPV, Hunter vowed to kick Rocky's ass and leave "this craphole England," with the title still around his waist.

X-Pac vs. British Bulldog

WWE / WWF Rebellion 1999 - British Bulldog caused havoc on the show
The last time we saw British Bulldog on a WWF PPV, he was getting beaten up by Shawn Michaels and Triple H in the main event of One Night Only 1997.

Two years later, and he was back fighting HBK and HHH's Clique buddy X-Pac in a decent though somewhat unspectacular effort.

Keeping things relatively short, the two worked well together, but you sort of expected something more from Davey Boy's big homecoming.

Still, at least he picked up the win thanks to his patented power slam.
Your Winner: The British Bulldog

Out in the back, Crash Holly tried explaining to his cousin Hardcore Holly that Brits measure weight in stones and money in pounds. Clearly confused, a frustrated Bob insisted Crash pick up his weighing scales and get going for their next match.

Elimination Match to Determine the Number One Contenders to the Tag Team Titles
Edge & Christian vs. The Acolytes (Farooq & Bradshaw) vs. The Hollys (Crash and Hardcore Holly)

WWE / WWF Rebellion 1999 - The Hollys faced Edge & Christian and The Acolytes
Fought under Elimination rules, The Holly Cousins were the first ones to go after Crash ate a wicked clothesline from Bradshaw.

That left The Acolytes to go at it with Edge and Christian in what proved to be a pretty good tag team contest. Though it didn't quite make it to fifth gear at any point, this was still great to watch, especially when Edge picked up the win to earn another tag team title shot for Christian and himself.
Your Winners: Edge and Christian

Finally, we got a recap of the recent three-way rivalry between Triple H, The Rock, and The British Bulldog, leading us to tonight's main event.

World Wrestling Federation Championship Steel Cage Match
WWF Champion Triple H vs. The Rock

WWE / WWF Rebellion 1999 - Michael Cole interviews WWF Champion Triple H
We'd seen them fight in a two-out-of-three-falls match at Fully Loaded 1998. We'd seen them clash in a classic ladder match at Summerslam 1998.

Tonight, we finally got to see Triple H and The Rock collide in a steel cage match and, man, what a steel cage match it was.

Going from 0-60 in no time at all, the two long-time rivals put it all on the line in what proved to be a tremendous effort.

The two waged an absolute war on each other until they could barely stand, but that was only half the story.

At one point, Hunter got the cage door open and tried to make an escape, but when Rock grabbed his foot to stop him, the champ reached for a steel chair which had been conveniently placed near the door. Despite Tony Chimmel telling us earlier that this was a no-rules match, that dumb ass Earl Hebner tried to stop Triple H grabbing the chair anyway.

A scuffle ensued which resulted in Hebner getting knocked out cold, meaning the official wasn't awake when Rock climbed through the cage a few moments later to win the match.

With nobody to make the call, the action continued, using this clever little set-up to allow Rock and Hunter to brawl on the outside and through the crowd without the match ending.

Rock busted HHH wide open with a chair, then put on a headset and told us that it wasn't blood oozing out of the champion's head but monkey piss.

Once the two got back in the ring, Bulldog came in for the eventual run in. Shane McMahon and the Stooges went after him but got their asses kicked before Chyna ran down to help Triple H, despite The Game telling us earlier that he didn't really care about Chyna.

Eventually, The Rock got too busy getting beat up by The British Bulldog to stop Triple H escaping the cage and retaining his title.

Seriously, a lot happened in that match, but it was incredible fun.
Your Winner and Still WWF Champion: Triple H

Post-match, Vince McMahon locked The British Bulldog in the cage so that The Rock could nail him with The Rock Bottom and a People's Elbow to end the show on a high note.





And that's probably the saddest part of Rebellion, the fact that The British Bulldog's last appearance on a British PPV was him getting his ass kicked rather than getting one last moment of glory.

But hey, that's just speaking as a biased fan.

Overall, Rebellion is only really worth watching for the awesome main event. Yes, the earlier Road Dogg/Jericho match was fun, and yes, the X-Pac/Bulldog and tag team title matches were enjoyable for what they were, but neither of those matches were strong enough to compensate for what had otherwise been a truly terrible undercard.

The main event, however, was in a league of their own, and after spending most of this show being glad I hadn't sat through this one in person, Rock/HHH in a steel cage made me wish I really had been there on that night in October 1999.



1999 events reviewed so far

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