PPV REVIEW: WWF Survivor Series 1997

WWF Survivor Series 1997
Molson Centre, Montreal, Canada

This year marks the 25th anniversary of Survivor Series 1997, a game-changing event which, despite a lackluster undercard, went down as one of the most significant PPVs in pro wrestling history thanks to a little incident known as The Montreal Screwjob. 

Given that my last review of this event was written in 2010 and published a few years later when I started Retro Pro Wrestling, the 25-year anniversary seems like a good time to go back and revisit it all over again.

Besides, I wasn't all that happy with the original Survivor Series '97 review published on this site to begin with. So, without further ado, here's a fresh look at an event that changed the course of the WWF forever.

 

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Hart vs. Michaels II: This Time, It's Personal 

Our show tonight began with a dramatic look back at the iron man match between Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania 12, followed by sound bites from the two’s scathing, animosity-filled promos in the build-up to their rematch here, a year-and-half later.

It says a lot about the quality of that feud that many of those sound bites have become iconic, as permanently etched in this fan’s mind as Austin’s King of the Ring ‘96 promo or Hulk Hogan declaring a new world order of wrestling at Bash at the Beach that same year.

With the opening video out of the way, Milton Bradley’s Karate Fighters presented the 11th annual Survivor Series before we got pyro galore and sweeping shots of the rabid Montreal crowd.

Our announcers, Jim Ross & Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler were as psyched as the fans for tonight’s event as they put over Hart/Michaels II (or III if you count their Survivor Series '92 match) and then sent it to the ring for our opening bout.

Traditional 4 vs. 4 Survivor Series Match
The Headbangers (Mosh & Thrasher) and The New Blackjacks (Windham & Bradshaw) vs. The Godwins (Henry & Phineas Godwin), Road Dogg Jesse James, and Bad Ass Billy Gunn

Road Dogg Jesse James and Bad Ass Billy Gunn weren’t officially the New Age Outlaws yet, but they were solidifying their status as the most villainous heel tandem in the company at the time.

Tonight, the two stayed out of the ring as much as possible as The Godwins and The New Blackjacks kicked things off in a good, old-fashioned hoss battle.

The first I reviewed this match, I wrote it off as boring. Years later, while I’m not claiming it was a workrate classic or anything, I certainly enjoyed it more the second time around.

After Bradshaw and Windham had spent the first minute or so exchanging the advantage with Henry and Phineas Godwin, it was Henry who was the first to be taken out, putting the good guys up 3 to 4.

Phineas soon evened the score, getting revenge for his partner by eliminating Barry Windham.

After Billy Gunn took out Mosh, the other Headbanger, Thrasher, worked over Phineas’ arm for a lengthy stretch of time.

Although it wasn’t the most exciting part of the match, the arm spot wasn’t so bad that it ruined what was an otherwise perfectly acceptable opener.

As it wore to a finish, Thrasher did away with Phineas by jumping off the top rope and crashing on the pig farmer’s chest.

Not long after, Roadie and Bad Ass took out Bradshaw and Thrasher in quick succession to become the sole survivors and further cement their status as the top team in the division.

Your Winners: Road Dogg Jesse James & Bad Ass Billy Gunn

Remember The Truth Commission? They were up next.

Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Match
The Truth Commission (Sniper, Recon, The Interrogator, and The Jackyl) vs. The Disciples of Apocalypse (Crush, Chainz, 8-Ball, and Skull)

The big problem with a match like The Truth Commission vs. DOA was that, once the biker gang stepped off their motorcycles they had nothing interesting to offer, while Jackyl’s gang of paramilitary soldiers were never had anything interesting to offer to begin with.

Thus, after Crush, Chainz (Brian ‘Fake Undertaker’ Lee), and the team of Skull & 8-Ball (The Harris Brothers) got done popping the crowd by riding around on their bikes all that was left was a fairly lifeless match that was 80% clobberin’ and 20% sidewalk slams.

Seriously, I think there were more sidewalk slams in this match than you’d see in the entire body of work of The Big Boss Man.

The Interrogator (Kurrgan) established his dominance early on by taking out Chainz (with a sidewalk slam, obviously), only for the biker boys to get their revenge by eliminating The Jackyl first and then Recon (Bull Buchanan) a few minutes later.

After he was eliminated, The Jackyl immediately hopped over to the announce table and spent the rest of the match on commentary where he denied JR’s accusation of being the WWF’s answer to cult leader David Koresh and consistently promised to tell us the truth without actually saying what that truth was.

The battle continued as a two-on-two affair pitting Crush and whichever Harris Brother hadn’t been eliminated against Sniper and the big man, The Interrogator.

To the surprise of no one, it was the latter who was left standing as the sole survivor after Crush eliminated Sniper but then got himself pinned after -you guessed it— another sidewalk slam.

To be fair, this wasn’t completely horrible, but it certainly wasn’t much fun to watch either.

Your Winner and Sole Survivor: The Interrogator

Post-match, The Jackyl claimed that he had won the Survivor Series and lept into the ring to celebrate with his man Kurrgan.

Shawn Michaels is Gonna Win

Whenever the WWF would poll fans on their predictions for a high-profile match, I can’t help but think of the kid from Summerslam 1992 who proudly declared that the British Bulldog would beat Bret Hart ‘whether he wants to or not.’

Tonight, nobody claimed that The Hitman’s opponent had no choice in winning, but the vast majority of the Montreal fans who featured in this show’s “whose going to win?” segment all seemed to be rooting for the Heartbreak Kid despite Bret apparently being The Canadian Hero.

From there, we went to the America Online room where Stone Cold Steve Austin told interviewer Kevin Kelly that despite being concerned about his neck, he was still going to emerge victorious in his upcoming match with Owen Hart.

Austin was as compelling as ever here and ended his promo by leaning over and staring at a laptop running the WWF America Online chat room with such an exaggerated intensity that it made this fan crack up laughing.

A Word With Team USA

Back in the arena, Jim Ross put over tonight’s sponsors, Milton Bradley Karate Fighters, and took us to a clip of some kind of pre-show party to celebrate that sponsorship.

Or at least something like that. To be honest, I’m not sure quite what the event was that we saw. All I know is that the clip featured an overhead crowd shot, Thrasher ramming some poor dude’s face into a cake, and nothing else.

Then, as we prepared for our next match, JR reminded us that Steve Blackman had debuted on Raw as a fan who just so happened to be a martial arts bad ass.

Blackman had jumped into the ring to save Vader from an attack at the hands of The British Bulldog, Jim Neidhart, and the duo of Doug Furnas & Philip LaFon.

As a ‘fan,’ Blackman had been arrested, but Vader had apparently bailed him out and then petitioned to have him join Team USA for tonight’s next traditional Survivor Series match.

Before we could get to that, however, Blackman, Vader, and their partners Marc Mero and Goldust stood by for a backstage interview with Michael “I’ve Been in this Company Forever” Cole.

Coming off as though he was struggling to remember his lines, Vader did nothing to endear himself to the Montreal faithful by declaring that he and his teammates were sick of "loud-mouthed, trash-talking Canadians telling us what to do.”

For his part, Steve Blackman insisted that despite being new to the WWF, he was plenty experienced in “every form of martial arts known to man” and was thus looking forward to tonight’s big fight.

Offering a retort, well-known Canadian The British Bulldog promised victory for Team Canada while Doug Furnas claimed that he hates America so much he’d moved out of the country.

Traditional 4 vs. 4 Survivor Series Match
Team USA (Vader, Steve Blackman, Goldust, and Marc Mero w/ Sable) vs. Team Canada (The British Bulldog, Jim ‘The Anvil’ Neidhart, Doug Furnas, and Phillip LaFon)

With Goldust slowly transitioning into his Artist Formerly Known As phase and Marc Mero also becoming a heel due to his wife, Sable overshadowing him everywhere they went, Team USA made their way to the ring to the theme that used to belong to The Patriot but which has since become synonymous with Kurt Angle.

Once their opponents hit the ring, JR took the time to note that only one man representing Team Canada -Phil LaFon- was actually Canadian, with the rest of his team comprising two Americans and an Englishman.

The match itself wasn’t the most spectacular, but with Vader doing most of the work and his teammates providing some interesting moments, it was nonetheless a fun encounter.

Steve Blackman was the first to go when, apparently unfamiliar with the rules of pro wrestling, he went brawling on the outside with Phil LaFon and didn’t bother to answer the referee’s ten count to get back inside.

I mean, that was one way to get the newcomer out of there while still looking like a major badass, but you’d think one of his teammates would have sat him down to explain simple things like the count-out rule, right?

Vader soon evened the odds for his team by destroying Jim Neidhart and then got the upper hand moments later by also doing away with LaFon.

Team USA’s run of luck didn’t last long, however, as Marc Mero was taken out by Furnas.

To be honest, I would have eliminated Mero earlier, not because he wasn’t any good, but simply because the crowd were so hot for Sable that they didn’t really care much about anything else until she was gone.

Down to 2 vs. 2, Vader found that his only remaining teammate, Goldust, didn’t really care about much either. Not only had he not yet stepped in the ring, but when Vader actually tried to tag him in, the former Intercontinental Champion refused.

That left The Mastadon to duke it out with Bulldog and Furnas in an impressive display that was exciting to watch before finally forcing Dusty’s kid into the ring.

Wanting no part of Doug and Davey Boy, Goldust merely walked off and got counted out.

Not long after, Vader eliminated Furnas but was then immediately struck with a ring bell by the Bulldog behind the referee’s back and promptly pinned.

Your Winner and Sole Survivor: The British Bulldog

Despite the crowd cheering him hugely for winning whether he wanted to or not, Davey Boy immediately left the ring and stormed straight to the back.

Hmm, maybe he was bizarre after all. 

Either that, or there was something going on backstage that he was eager to get back for.

Who knows

Not me, that’s who, but what I do know is that Milton Bradley Karate Fighters got another mention as the PPV sponsors had hosted something called the Survivor Series Super Supper Sweepstakes.

Hmm, I wonder if they were also responsible for the Super Summer Sizzler Spectacular or whatever that show ECW did in ‘93 was called.

Lawler and Ross spoke on the phone to the winner of that sweepstake, a giggly young lady called Jaqueline who, as her prize, got to choose Steve Austin as her dinner date.

Mankind Seeks to Avenge Dude Love’s Demise

From there, we got a video package recapping the arrival of Kane at In Your House 18: Badd Blood, The Undertaker’s refusal to fight his brother, and how that led to Kane annihilating Dude Love.

The Dude’s demise brought back Mankind to seek revenge for his own alter-ego, and that took us to an excellent backstage promo from Foley in which he likened Kane to a brick wall and vowed to run right into him.

I swear down, Foley in his prime has to be up there as one of the best promos in the business.

Mankind vs. Kane (w/ Paul Bearer)

You also have to give Mick credit for sacrificing himself in order to put Kane over as a truly dominant force in this match.

Though Mankind certainly got his moments to shine here, he was mostly pulverized by The Big Red Machine.

He took a beating, had the ring steps hurled in his face, and was even sent crashing through a table.

Yet as unstoppable as all this made Kane look, it wasn’t enough to put his opponent away until a tombstone piledriver sealed the deal.

All of this played out beneath red lights which, although they were a little distracting, they did add something unique to a match that was otherwise already entertaining.

Your Winner: Kane

Did any of you send your cable bill proving you’d bought Survivor Series 97 so that you could get a free WWF dog tag?

Me neither, but JR told us they had 3,000 of those bad boys to give away, so I hope somebody did.

Meanwhile, out in the back, Sgt. Slaughter told Michael Cole that they had extra security in place should anything crazy happen in tonight’s main event.

Cole then turned his attention to Vince McMahon and asked him who would win said main event.

Vince lied and said he had no idea.

What a Rush!

Backstage, Doc Hendrix interviewed Ken Shamrock, The Legion of Doom, and Ahmed Johnson about their upcoming match with the Nation of Domination.

Shamrock kicked things off by delivering a promo that was all Jeff Farmer levels of bad in which he basically said he and his men were all business.

Fairing a little better on the mic, Hawk gave the usual Road Warrior promo in which he promised that he and Animal would wipe out the “criminal element” from the WWF.

Fortunately, Hendrix was smart enough to keep the microphone away from Ahmed Johnson.

Traditional 4 vs. 4 Survivor Series Match
The Nation of Domination (Farooq, D’Lo Brown, Kama Mustafa, and Rocky Maivia) vs. Ken Shamrock, Ahmed Johnson, and WWF Tag Team Champions The Legion of Doom (Hawk & Animal)

A year on from his debut as a perma-grinned babyface, Rocky Maivia wasn’t yet The Most Electrifying Man in Sports Entertainment, but he was certainly on his way to becoming a heel worth paying attention to and further established himself by eliminating Hawk in the first two minutes of the match.

Ahmed Johnson then ensured an even playing field by pinning arch-nemesis Farooq, but the Nation leader retaliated by holding Johnson’s legs down while Rocky scored his second elimination on the master of the Pearl River Plunge.

Proving that their never-ending rivalry was far from done, Johnson and Farooq then brawled all the way to the back, ending an exciting first six minutes of the match.

From there, things slowed down considerably and the middle portion of the match seemed to drag on with little in the way of excitement.

It was during this lackluster middle section that Animal took out Kama Mustafa, only to be eliminated himself when Road Dogg and Billy Gunn interfered, blasting the Road Warrior with powder to the eyes and causing him to get counted out.

It was at that point that the match really picked up again. Shamrock snapped, eliminated D’Lo Brown, and then went at it with The Rock in a hot exchange that ended things in fine form.

Shamrock made Rocky tap in the ankle lock to win the match and emerge as the sole survivor.

The opening and closing minutes of this match more than made up for the lag in the middle, ensuring that this was an all-round enjoyable contest.

Your Winner and Sole Survivor: Ken Shamrock

1.55.02 - record attendance.

As Shamrock celebrated his big time win, Jim Ross announced that tonight’s event had set a brand new attendance record.

Prior to the next match, a clip aired to promote the next WWF PPV, D-Generation-X: In Your House 19. That show would see Shamrock capitalize on his big win here, and his overall popularity, by headlining the show as a challenger for the WWF title.

We then took a look back at all the times Stone Cold Steve Austin’s rivalry with Owen Hart, including that awful moment Owen dropped him on his head back at Summerslam ‘97.

The two would meet in a hotly anticipated rematch next.

World Wrestling Federation Intercontinental Championship
WWF Intercontinental Champion Owen Hart (w/ Team Canada) vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin

Damn, I miss Owen Hart.

Wearing his infamous Owen 3:16 t-shirt, the reigning and defending champion was accompanied to the ring by Neidhart, Smith, Furnas, and LaFon, but shortly after Anvil ate a stunner, those guys left and we got a short but explosive one-on-one encounter.

With the cruel Canadians showing their support for their countryman by yelling “break his neck! Break his neck!” Owen first got his ass whooped by Stone Cold but got a modicum of revenge outside the ring.

There, he choked Austin with a cable, and, when the referee threatened to disqualify him, Hart told him to go ahead and even rang the bell for him.

Of course, the official was having none of that, so it was back to the ring where Stone Cold regained the advantage and captured his second Intercontinental championship with an almighty stunner.

That wasn’t a long match. In fact, it was more of a short version of the main event brawls that would eventually become Austin’s trademark than an actual match, but the crowd and the competitors were both on fire and it made for compelling viewing

Your Winner and New WWF Intercontinental Champion: Owen Hart

Before a final look at Hart/Michaels, JR warned us that their match was going to be very personal and, I quote, “very stiff.”

World Wrestling Federation Championship
WWF Champion Bret ‘The Hitman’ Hart vs. WWF European Champion Shawn Michaels

And so, five years after they first headlined a Survivor Series and began their journey to becoming bonafide main eventers, Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels would meet one last time in a match that is still talked about today.

Adding an extra sense of suspense and drama to an already historic match, both HBK and The Hitman were filmed walking from their respective dressing rooms to the gorilla position with their allies in tow.

Michaels had HHH, Chyna, and Rick Rude with him while Bulldog and Anvil accompanied Hart.

Once both men were in the ring, they wasted no time in going at it, giving us a wild and out-of-control brawl into the stands and up the entranceway for a full solid ten minutes before the bell even rang.

The in-ring action was equally as enthralling, and though the spot where Michaels held Hart on the mat in a front face lock wasn’t the most exciting moment, it was an obvious call back to their Survivor Series ‘92 encounter.

Bret regained the advantage and began working over the European Champion’s legs, softening him up for the inevitable sharpshooter.

Of course, that move was applied, not by the man who had mastered it and made it so famous, but by Shawn himself.

A moment later, the call was made to “ring the f**king bell” and arguably the most controversial moment in WWF history occurred.

Ladies and gentlemen, we had all just witnessed The Montreal Screwjob.

Your Winner and New WWF Champion: Shawn Michaels

Post-match, the last live shot of Bret Hart on WWF programming for many years saw a bewildered and enraged Hitman spit in the face of chairman Vince McMahon while Michaels acted equally as surprised and annoyed as he grabbed the title and was rushed to the back by Triple H and Gerald Briscoe.

The camera followed him, zoomed in on the Survivor Series logo, and faded to black as Jim Ross wished us a good night.

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Had the show not ended the way it did, Survivor Series 1997 would have probably gone down in history as a largely forgettable show, with only the main event, the IC title match, and arguably the Nation vs. Team Shamrock main event standing out as above average.

Yet that final call to “ring the f**king bell” and that lasting image of The Hitman grozzing right in Vince McMahon’s face would ensure that it didn’t really matter whether the show was any good or not.

Writing this review 25 years after the fact, it’s fair to say that it matters not one jot whether DOA vs. The Truth Commission sucked, or that the red lights in the Kane/Mankind match were distracting. It doesn’t even really matter that the Rock/Shamrock ending was a lot of fun.

All that matters is that Survivor Series ‘97 was an event that altered the course of history, serving as the catalyst for Vince McMahon’s groundbreaking heel turn, Bret Hart’s disappointing WCW run and sad end to his career in WCW and, with the then-new Intercontinental Champion Steve Austin at the helm, the dawning of the WWF’s hottest period of its existence.

Make no mistake about it. The World Wrestling Federation and, indeed, the entire landscape of professional wrestling would never be the same again.

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Other 1997 pro wrestling reviews.

1. WWF - Royal Rumble 1997
2. WCW - Souled Out 1997
3. WWF - In Your House 13: Final Four 
4. WCW - Superbrawl VII 
5. WCW - Uncensored 1997 
6. WWF - Wrestlemania 13
7. WCW Spring Stampede 1997
8. WWF - In Your House 14: Revenge of The Taker
9. WWF - In Your House 15: A Cold Day in Hell
10. WCW - Slamboree 1997
11. WWF - King of the Ring 1997
12. WCW - Great American Bash 1997 
13. WWF - In Your House 16: Canadian Stampede 
14. WCW - Bash at the Beach 1997 
15. WWF - Summerslam 1997
16. WCW - Road Wild 1997
17. WWF - In Your House 17: Ground Zero
18. WCW - Fall Brawl 1997
19. WWF - One Night Only 1997
20. WWF - In Your House 18: Badd Blood
21. WCW - Halloween Havoc 1997
22. WCW - World War 3 1993
23. D-Generation-X: In Your House 19

Other WWF/WWE Survivor Series reviews:

1. WWF Survivor Series 1987
2. WWF Survivor Series 1988
3. WWF Survivor Series 1989
4. WWF Survivor Series 1990
5. WWF Survivor Series 1991
6. WWF Survivor Series 1992
7. WWF Survivor Series 1993
8. WWF Survivor Series 1994
9. WWF Survivor Series 1995
10. WWF Survivor Series 1996
11. WWF Survivor Series 1998
12. WWF Survivor Series 1999
13. WWF Survivor Series 2001
14. WWE Survivor Series 2002
15. WWE Survivor Series 2009
16. Top Ten Matches from the First 10 Survivor Series events

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PPV REVIEW: Heroes of Wrestling 1999

October 10, 1999
Casino Magic Hotel and Casino, Bay St. Louis, Mississippi

Heroes of Wrestling has often been regarded as one of -if not the- worst wrestling Pay Per Views of all time.

Back in the day, The Wrestling Observer called it the worst major wrestling event of 1999 and since that time this one-off show has largely been used as the benchmark against which all other bad wrestling shows are judged.

Yet surely no single show could be that terrible...

...could it?

For years, this writer had no idea.

Heroes of Wrestling was one of those mythical shows that I'd often heard about but never actually come across until, a few months ago, I discovered that somebody had uploaded a really poor quality version of it for us all to enjoy endure.

Without further ado then, let's head to the Casino Magic Hotel and Casino in Bay St. Louis, Missippi and find out if this really was the worst of the worst.

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Yoko Hates Bundy

We began tonight's broadcast with King Kong Bundy being interviewed about tonight's event, only to be interrupted by former two-time WWF Champion, Yokozuna.

For some unexplained reason, Yoko was very angry with Bundy and tried to attack him, only to be pulled away by a gaggle of officials.

Welcome to Casino Magic

We were then welcomed to Casino Magic in Bay St. Louis, Mississippi by our lead play-by-play man for the evening, Randy Rosenbloom.

IF you've never heard of Rosenbloom, he's a sportscaster and actor from Southern California who stepped in at the last minute as a replacement for the legendary Gordon Solie.

Solie had been heavily advertised for the show but had unfortunately succumbed to the very same throat cancer which would tragically take his life just a few months later.

His stand-in, Dirty Dutch Mantell gave us a rundown of the card which included such high-profile bouts as Too Cold Scorpio vs. Julio Fantastico and 'Sweet' Stan Lane vs. Tully Blanchard.

With that out of the way, it was down to ringside for our introductions.

Tonight, somebody's gonna get their ass whooped in here tonight

No, that isn't a reference to Mark Henry, but rather to our ring announcer for the evening, Crisper Stanford.

Little -in fact, nothing- is known about Stanford. The only reference to him online relates to this event.

What I can tell you though, is that the man was seven shades of cringe.

This is genuinely, word-for-word what he said to get the crowd excited and open the show:

"Welcome to the Casino Magic in Bay St. Louis, Mississippi where tonight, legendary grudge matches will be settled once and for all."

So far, not too terrible, right?

Just wait, it gets worse.

"So, throw down your toys and get out of the sandbox, play time's over because tonight, somebody's gonna get their assss-whipped tonight in here."

Seriously, it was like a bad Michael Buffer impression from a guy who had clearly been watching too much Spinal Tap.

The Samoan Swat Team (Samu & Fatu w/ Sika and Paul Adams) vs. "Rocker" Marty Jannetty & Tommy Rogers

Yes, Marty Janetty really was billed as "Rocker," and no, the Fatu here isn't Rikishi, who I believe was doing his thing with the WWF at the time.

Rather, it's Rikishi's brother, Sam Fatu, better known as Tonga Kid/Tama, who Retro Pro Wrestling readers will have last met teaming with Haku as the Islanders all the way back at the first-ever Royal Rumble in 1988.

Before Fatu and Samu could lock up with their opponents, their manager, Paul Adams, took to the microphone.

If you've never heard of Adams before, don't worry neither has anybody else. He was basically an indie wrestling version of Patrick Bateman from American Psycho, albeit with all the charisma and personality surgically removed.

Give Bateman  Adams his due though, he did manage the rare feat of speaking for a full five minutes without actually saying a single thing.

The basic gist of Adams' promo was that nobody in the audience would dare face Samu and Fatu, but it was delivered in the most wooden, cringe-worthy fashion ever, so nobody seemed to care.

The match itself wasn't all that much better.

The sole highlights were Fantastic Tommy Rogers hitting the Samoans with a double DDT and Marty Jannetty diving over the top rope, but to even call those highlights is being polite.

Speaking of Jannetty, I spent most of the match trying to figure out if he was wearing cut-off jean shorts instead of actual ring attire because he was trying to be edgy and alternative (such was the culture during the Attitude Era period), or because he simply couldn't be bothered to get dressed properly.

Not that it mattered.

After a few minutes, Samu drilled Rogers with TKO and this dull, uneventful contest was over.
Your Winners: The Samoan Swat Team

Cutting to a pre-tape, we saw George 'The Animal' Steele and Sensational Sherri Martel checking into a hotel. With Martel fawning all over him, Steele literally tore off her dress as the two went into a hotel room.

Yes, we were supposed to believe that Sherri found The Animal sexy and wanted to do the nasty with him. Maybe it would have been more convincing if Mantell and Rosenbloom didn't talk over the whole thing.

As it was, this came off as a weird segment that totally telegraphed the ending of the next bout.

George Steele is Insane

Back to the show, Sherri gave an interview to our backstage reporter, Michael St. John.

"You know, in the pro wrestling business you get to the top by your body count," said Sherri. "And George Steele is CERTIFIABLY INSANE!"

I'm sure there was a link between those two points, but Martel never mentioned it.

Instead, she just showed off her cleavage a bit until Steele himself arrived, proving how insane he was by wrapping his arm around his manager and shouting FIGHT! FIGHT!

In the earlier hotel segment, Steele was shown to be a calm, collected dude capable of holding a conversation with Sherri, but now, the very act of arriving to a wrestling show had turned him into a MAD MAN!

My goodness. I've been a big fan of Sherri's ever since I first started watching wrestling over 25 years ago and I feel bad that she had to put up with this garbage.

Greg 'The Hammer' Valentine vs. George 'The Animal Steele (w/ "Sensuous" Sherri Martel)

'Sensuous' was the name Sherri had first used in WCW when the Turner-backed company realised 'Sensational' was copyrighted by Vince.

Before the bell, Greg Valentine took to the microphone and told us that his father, Johnny Valentine had been feuding with Steele for years, but now that pops had retired, it was up to The Hammer to settle the score once and for all.

The veteran promised to put his rival in the figure four and walk out with Sherri.

Give the guy his credit, he was true to his word, kinda.

Sherri turned on her 'lover' within the first two minutes of the match, but Steele didn't realise it because he'd stupidly got his shirt stuck over his head. The heel turn was so predictable that the live crowd didn't even react to it.

After getting his vision back, Steele lumbered around and found an International Object and jabbed his opponent with it. Not realising his manager didn't actually like him, he then handed it to Sherri, who -not surprisingly- passed it to The Hammer.

Barely passing as actual pro wrestling, more atrocious inaction followed until Sherri leveled George with a chair, allowing Hammer to pick up the three count.

Seriously, that was Adrian Adonis/Uncle Elmer at Wrestlemania 2 level of terrible.
Your Winner: Greg 'The Hammer' Valentine

Keeping his promise, The Hammer left with Sherri in tow, then returned to the ring to attack Steele as the CERTIFIABLY INSANE legend ate the turnbuckle. This time, Steel no-sold a chair shot and chased Valentine back to the locker room.

Julio Fantastico is Wrestling's Greatest Superstar

Out in the back, Michael St John interviewed Julio Fantastico, the man you probably recognise best as Julio Dinero from ECW or possibly TNA.

You know when people who aren't actually involved in wrestling do an impression of a pro wrestler by ranting and throwing in a bunch of cliches? That's what Fantastico sounded like here.

In a cookie-cutter promo, Fantastico claimed to be Wrestling's Greatest Superstar and vowed to win every match he ever wrestled in, starting with his upcoming bout against Too Cold Scorpio.

When St. John suggested that the rookie Fantastico was underestimating his veteran opponent, Fantastico dismissed him and once again asserted his belief that he was the greatest of all time.

Julio Fantastico vs. Too Cold Scorpio

This was the best match on the card up to this point, but that's really not saying very much.

Scorpio came to the ring brandishing a replica of The Big Gold Belt which was never explained by anyone. I like to think Scorpio just thought 'f- it,' and decided he was the champion.

Once the bell rang, the two went at it with what started out as decent wrestling but soon disintegrated into a half-arsed, by-the-numbers routine that looked scripted and was devoid of any actual emotion.

At one point, Fantastico went to dive onto Scorpio on the outside but somehow messed it up so badly he ended up skinning the cat instead. It looked ridiculous, especially when he backed up and clearly just did the spot over.

More back-and-forth happened until Scorpio hit Fantastico with two Tumbleweeds from the top rope and scored the three.
Your Winner: Too Cold Scorpio

Captain Lou Albano had joined the commentary for this match. After Scorpio's win, Rosenbloom produced a document which announced that Captain Lou was the new Commissioner of Heroes of Wrestling.

The legend was so overwhelmed by this announcement that he practically started weeping on Dutch Mantell's shoulder while calling Heroes of Wrestling 'The Greatest Organization Around' and 'The Greatest Production of All Time.'

Man, how much were they paying this guy?

King Kong Bundy is Irate

Since his last attempt at a promo was interrupted by Yokozuna, King Kong Bundy got a do-over,  promising that he was going to hit Yoko with the Avalanch and pin him for the five count.

It was a fairly generic 'Angry Big Man' promo, but at least it was effective in generating interest about their match.

The Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff (w/ Nikita Brezhnikov) vs. Luke & Butch

Man, this is getting painful to watch.

As the former Bushwackers made their way to the ring, Randy Rosenbloom called them "Luke and Dutch."

This was far from his only cock-up of the evening. In the earlier Scorpio/Fantastico bout, he called a dropkick and 'leg drop' and made countless errors throughout the show.

Speaking of errors, whoever decided that having The Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff compete in an actual match made one of the biggest errors ever committed in pro wrestling.

The two were so old and past their prime that they couldn't really do much of anything.

At one point, Koloff picked up one of the Bushwhackers and then, instead of slamming him to the mat, kind of just gently lay him down as though lying a newborn baby down in their crib.

Before any of that, however, the two foreign heels had to work the crowd a bit.

Volkoff sang the Russian National Anthem before Iron Sheik did his Persian Clubs routine and then randomly cut a promo on Hulk Hogan and Bob Backlund, neither of whom were appearing here tonight.

Naturally, the crowd responded to this with loud "USA! USA!" chants that they would keep up for the rest of the match. Once the bell rang, these pro-USA chants were encouraged by New Zealanders Luke & Butch.

Honestly.

This was a terrible train wreck of a match, ending with a win for the Bushwhackers when the heels messed up and Volkoff accidentally blasted his own partner with an International Object.
Your Winners: Luke & Butch

Afterward, Sheik and Koloff almost came to blows, but were encouraged to hug it out by their manager, a random dude in a Russian military outfit who was apparently called Nikita Brezhnikov.

Tully Blanchard Has a Flashback

In true Horseman style, Tully Blanchard arrived earlier in the day in a limousine. Happy to be there, Blanchard was about to give an interview to Michael St John. Yet before he could say anything, he was attacked by Sweet Stan Lane.

Later, Blanchard cut a compelling promo that proved to be the best thing on the show up to this point.

The former Brainbuster was unhappy. Now long retired, he had hoped that Heroes of Wrestling would be a bit of fun, but, like everybody watching it, those hopes had been dashed.

Getting really intense, Blanchard claimed that the attack by Lane had given him a flashback to his most violent battles with the likes of Dusty Rhodes and Wahoo McDaniel and that he was going to channel all the rage and anger built up inside him into taking out Sweet Stan.

This was very good stuff.

Tully Blanchard vs. Sweet Stan Lane

As bad as this show was, it, of course, makes perfect sense that the most solid match on the card was also one of the shortest.

Before the bell, Sweet Stan Lane took to the microphone to do his own ring introduction. Tully Blanchard arrived on the scene and the two went at it in a basic, no-frills kind of match which still managed to outshine just about everything else on the card.

The most hilarious thing about this match was that the company were trying to get over Stan Lane as some kind of Ladies Man Adonis type figure.

To that end, they kept cutting to the shots of various women in the crowd, but all the women looked totally bored, miserable, or just outright confused.

After seven minutes of decent action, Lane hit Blanchard with a belly-to-back suplex but kept his shoulders on the mat. Tully got his up at two and that meant he won the match.
Your Winner: Tully Blanchard

Lane attacked his rival afterward, but Blanchard fought back with a suplex and sent The Fabulous One packing.

Out in the back, Michael St John interviewed Jim 'The Anvil' Neidhart, who had King Kong Bundy with him for some unexplained reason.

Neidhart was his usual crazy self as he insisted that he didn't really have a problem with Jake Roberts, but would fight him anyway later on in the show.

"Don't worry about that snake," said Bundy. "We'll take care of it."

One Man Gang vs. Abdullah The Butcher (w/ Honest John Cheatum)

This was garbage in every possible sense of the word.

Despite not being billed as one, this was a basic No DQ match in which almost nothing happened.

Prior to the bell, we were shown an angry, pre-recorded promo from One Man Gang in which he just shouted a lot without saying much of anything. He then spent half the match wrapping Abdullah The Butcher up in a chain.

The other half of the match saw Abby jabbing OMG with his trademark fork.

Both men bled a lot and then got counted out.

It was awful.
Double Countout

The two continued to brawl for a long while afterward. Gang even blasted a security guard with a chair.

When Card Games Go Bad

Up next, Randy Rosenbloom told us that, despite "feuding since 1984," Cowboy Bob Orton and Superfly Jimmy Snuka had agreed to put their differences aside and play a game of cards with Captain Lou.

However, things went awry when Snuka and Albano accused Orton of cheating. To make him pay for this terrible crime, Snuka attacked Orton while Albano hurled abuse at him.

That was a pre-taped bit. Cutting back to the show, Michael St John interviewed Captain Lou and Snuka about the latter's upcoming match with Orton.

Albano ranted and raved about how badly Orton was going to get his ass kicked. Meanwhile, Superfly just kind of stood there, arms by his sides, staring off into the distance. In fact, I'm not entirely sure that he didn't have his eyes closed and was taking a quick standing power nap.

Offering a retort, Randy's dad cut a promo of his own, claiming that he hadn't cheated, but was now angry anyway and would beat sup Superfly.

Cowboy Bob Orton vs. Superfly Jimmy Snuka (w/ Captain Lou Albano)

I've seen other reviewers call this the match of the night and 'the least sucky thing on the show,' but I'm not buying it.

The whole thing clocked in at just under 12 minutes, at least half of which saw Bob Orton lock Jimmy Snuka in an armbar while the crowd chanted homophobic slurs at him.

The other half was just dull and uneventful.

Snuka won with a crossbody, even though it would have taken just as much effort to hit his trademark top rope splash.
Your Winner: Superfly Jimmy Snuka

Out in the back, a clearly hammered Jake 'The Snake' Roberts slurred his way through what would have otherwise been an awesome promo.

“If you're in a casino, you should gamble," he began. "Let me tell you something, Anvil, you don’t want to play cards with me, because I’ll cheat. Okay? I cheat. You want to play twenty-one, I got twenty-two.

"You want to play BlackJack? I got two of those too. You want to play Aces and Eights? Well, I got some of those too. The bottom line is this. You do not gamble with me. When you walk into a casino, when you want to gamble, the main thing you must do, is this, you must accept losing. I don’t accept losing, and neither does Damien. Damien, my friend! My friend Damien is right here.

"You don’t want to see this, do you? Let me show you something (*camera pans down to the snake in a bag on the floor*). I tell you what Anvil, go ahead and roll the dice. Mr. Cameraman, get your ass back up here. Hello? I’m talkin’ to you. Get that camera back up here. That’s what you should worry about Anvil. The bottom line is this, when the DDT comes, then the snake comes out. Worry about the DDT. DDT! DDT! DDT! DDT! DDT! DDT! THINK ABOUT IT!”

Even when he was plastered, Roberts could still deliver a promo better than most of today's current roster.

Jim 'The Anvil' Neidhart vs. Jake 'The Snake' Roberts

It's amazing that out of the four men involved in tonight's main event, only one of them is still alive and it's Jake 'The Snake' Roberts.

The man the announcers mistakenly referred to as a former Intercontinental Championship staggered to the ring clearly in no fit state to compete.

Seriously. Roberts's appearance here makes Jeff Hardy's Victory Road 2011 low point look like the model of good sobriety.

Reaching the ring, Roberts tried to open the bag to let Damien the Snake out, but was so blitzed he couldn't do it. Instead, he stumbled backstage then stumbled out again, sans shirt, and molested a female fan at ringside.

Eventually, the Master of the DDT made it into the ring for his first appearance in a Retro Pro Wrestling review since WWF Royal Rumble 1997.

As you can imagine, the match was a disaster, but, to his credit, Jim Neidhart did at least try to carry it.

For a few minutes, he basically wrestled himself in close proximity to Roberts, but things only got worse.

After failing to open the snake bag earlier, his snake actually started to slither out unexpectedly, so Roberts grabbed it, shoved it between his legs and started to feign masturbation with it.

This in a crowd full of children.

Next, Roberts went to the mat, not entirely on purpose, and started to lick the snake's face.

As the match reached its most disastrous point, King Kong Bundy made his way to the ring. He and a Mini Bundy (a random fat dude with a bald head who looked like Bundy) conferred with Neidhart to discuss the new finish, after which Jim went to the ring and slapped Jake in a chin lock.

Not long after, Yokozuna and his enormous ass waddled out to the ring, making this a tag team match.

Yokozuna & Jake 'The Snake' Roberts vs. Jim 'The Anvil' Neidhart & King Kong Bundy
Seriously, Yoko had ballooned since we last saw him at WWF Survivor Series 1996. Weighing an estimated  760 lb (345 kg), the poor guy looked so big it was amazing he could even move.

Not that he did very much.

Instead, despite apparently having a huge rivalry with King Kong Bundy, he interacted with his originally scheduled opponent for all of ten seconds then spent the rest of the time on the outside while Jake took a beating.

Seriously, they changed this to a tag team match because Jake Roberts was in no fit state to wrestle, but then he finished the bulk of the match anyway.

In the end, Jake did make the tag to Yoko, but then he fell over and King Kong Bundy pinned him anyway.
Your Winners: Jim Neidhart and King Kong Bundy

It wasn't over yet.

In the ring, Yoko got hold of Mini Bundy and held him in place while the crowd chanted for a DDT. Roberts either couldn't or wouldn't deliver, so a frustrated Yokozuna shot the guy off the ropes and hit him with a Samoan Drop.

Jake then draped his snake over the guy and the show just faded to black without a word from the announcers. When it came back on a few seconds later, it was to the tragic sight of a massively overweight Yokozuna leaning over to check on a fallen, drunken Jake 'The Snake' Roberts.

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So, was Heroes of Wrestling really as bad as people say it was?

No, it was a hundred times worse.

There was very little to like about the show, and the main event was just a sad sight to behold.

If you really hate your own life, this is a good way to torture yourself, otherwise avoid it. Not even morbid curiosity makes it worth putting yourself through two and a half hours of torture.

I'm just glad Jake was finally able to get back on the road to recovery, though I think the biggest tragedy here is Yokozuna.

The guy was so overweight that something bad was bound to happen sooner rather than later. Indeed, he passed away a year later, making this atrocity of a show the last PPV he would appear on.

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1999 events reviewed so far

• WCW Souled Out 1999
• WWF Royal Rumble 1999
• WWF St. Valentine's Day Massacre - In Your House 27
• WCW Superbrawl IX
• WCW Uncensored 1999
• WWF Wrestlemania 15
• WWF Backlash 1999
• WWF No Mercy UK 1999
• WWF Over the Edge 1999
• King of the Ring 1999
• WCW Great American Bash 1999
• WCW Bash at the Beach 1999
• WWF Fully Loaded 1999
• WCW Road Wild 1999
• WWF Summerslam 1999
• WCW Fall Brawl 1999
• WWF Rebellion 1999
• WWF No Mercy 1999
• WCW Halloween Havoc 1999
• WWF Survivor Series 1999
• WCW Mayhem 1999
• WWF Armageddon 1999
• WCW Starrcade 1999

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PPV REVIEW: WWF - In Your House 16: Canadian Stampede

July 6, 1997
Saddledome, Calgary, Alberta

In Your House 16: Canadian Stampede has long been one of my favourite pro wrestling events of all time, so I've been both excited and nervous about reviewing the show for Retro Pro Wrestling for some time now. 

Excited, because I'd get to relive an event that was such an enjoyable moment in my childhood and nervous because, well, what if it didn't live up to my memories?

What if a show that I've always considered perfect turned out to be anything but?

Honestly, one way or another, I can't wait to find out for sure, so let's get this intro over with and head down to Calgary, Alberta, Canada for In Your House 16.

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Shades of Grey 

Our opening video package tonight highlighted the rivalry between Bret 'The Hitman' Hart and Stone Cold Steve Austin, telling us that the line between heroes and villains had become blurred and that the World Wrestling Federation was now coated in shades of grey.

This led us to the arena, where Vince McMahon growled his way through his usual welcome before introducing us to his colleagues Jim Ross and Jerry 'The King' Lawler.

In the spirit of the occasion, all three wore cowboy gear and Stetson hats. One of the three would become synonymous with his hat and would barely be seen without it thereafter.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley (w/ Chyna) vs. Mankind 

After defeating him in the final of last month's WWF King of the Ring 1997, Hunter Hearst Helmsley had been engaged in a heated rivalry with Mankind that would last throughout the summer months.

Tonight, they squared off in a wild and violent opening contest that served as the perfect introduction to tonight's show.

Rather than settling their differences, this match only intensified the rivalry between Mankind and Hunter, with the two beating the hell out of each other both in the ring and out.

It was on the outside where this on came to an end, with Helmsley and Mankind ignoring the referee's ten count and continuing to brawl on the outside. The referee reached ten and we had ourselves a draw.
Double Countout

Not that the match being over meant anything. The two continued to brawl through the crowd and up towards the entrance until all the officials ran out to the rescue.

This one was far from over.

The Hart Foundation Received a Heroes Welcome 

Up next, Doc Hendrix voiced a video package which showed us The Hart Foundation living it up in their home town and embracing the crowds at the annual Calgary Stampede event.

This then took us to Doc attempting to interview The Hart Foundation live in the backstage area, only for Stone Cold Steve Austin to interrupt things.

Austin was dragged off by Pat Patterson and a handful of others whilst Bret told Doc that he didn't want to gang up 5-on-1 against Austin but instead wanted to wait until it was 5-on-5 to prove that The Hart Foundation really were the best ever.

Taka Michinoku vs. The Great Sasuke 

In response to the runaway success of WCW's Cruiserweight division, the WWF had first experimented with bringing in luchadors at the 1997 Royal Rumble before deciding to launch their own Light Heavyweight division here with newcomers Taka Michinoku and The Great Sasuke.

As the latter made his way to the ring, Vince McMahon told us that we had some pre-recorded comments from The Great Sasuke, but sadly we would never hear them.

There was a weird pause, then -in a theme that would run throughout the rest of tonight's show- Hunter and Mankind came out for another brawl among the crowds before finally disappearing backstage again.

When the bell finally rang, Michinoku and Sasuke took a while to gel, but when they did, their match was a thing of beauty.

Stiff strikes combined with some stunning aerial moves and breathtaking suplexes made this a joy to watch.

In the end, Sasuke hit the Thunderfire Powerbomb to win the match.

Your Winner: The Great Sasuke 

Meanwhile, out in the parking lot, a battered and bloodied Hunter Hearst Helmsley continued to wage war with Mankind in what would prove to be a highlight amongst many on tonight's show.

Doc Hendrix Interviews Paul Bearer and Vader

Backstage, Doc Hendrix asked Paul Bearer how he could live with himself after claiming that The Undertaker had murdered his entire family.

Bearer insisted that it was true, and that The Undertaker would regret it tonight when Vader defeated him for the WWF Championship just like he'd beaten him at the 1997 Royal Rumble.

With that, it was on to our only title match of the evening.

World Wrestling Federation Championship

WWF Champion The Undertaker vs. Vader (w/ Paul Bearer) 

Going at it for the second time on pay per view, reigning WWF champion The Undertaker put up

his title against Vader in a solid effort.

This may not have been the best match on the card, but it was still a fairly good big man brawl, with Paul Bearer camping it up on the outside only adding to the entertainment factor.

After a good, long battle, the champion hit the Tombstone Piledriver to keep the title around his waist.

Your Winner and Still WWF Champion: The Undertaker  

In order to put plenty of distance between that match and our main event, we then got another look at the same Bret Hart autograph signing we were shown earlier in the broadcast.

This led to another video, this one looking at the recent gang wars between The Nation, The Disciples of the Apocalypse and Los Boricuas, and somehow making it relevant to our big five-on-five main event.

The Americans Are Ready 

Backstage, Doc Hendrix stood by with Goldust, The Legion of Doom, Ken Shamrock, and Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Goldust, The LOD, and Shamrock all had not very interesting things to say, whilst Austin simply walked off, ready for battle.

Time for the Formalities 

Prior to the bell, Howard Finkle asked the Calgary faithful to stand whilst country group Farmer's Daughter sang the Canadian National Anthem.

Finkle, wearing a Stetson of his own, then introduced us to the Premier of Alberta and Stu and Helen Hart.

This whole thing was a nice touch which really leant an air of importance to tonight's show.

Finally, it was down to the main event.

Five on Five Tag Team Match

Goldust, Ken Shamrock, Stone Cold Steve Austin, and The Legion of Doom (Hawk & Animal) vs. The Hart Foundation (Brian Pillman, Jim 'The Anvil' Neidhart, WWF European Champion The British Bulldog, WWF Intercontinental Champion Owen Hart and Bret 'The Hitman' Hart) 

Yes, this was as good as you've been told.

From the opening ten man stare down like something out of a western to the final moment when Owen Hart rolled up Steve Austin for the three count, everything about this match was phenomenal.

The crowd had been electric all night, but here they really blew the proverbial roof off, creating the kind of atmosphere that you barely saw in the mid-90s.

The action itself was off the charts, with all ten men working to their strengths to create one of the best main events of the decade.

Your Winners: The Hart Foundation 

Afterwards, it took an army of referees, road agents, and rent-a-cops to get the American team out of the ring.

Austin came back with a chair and waffled Jim 'The Anvil' Neidhart, but the rest of The Hart Foundation plus more security guards all pounced on him, put him in handcuffs and carted him off.

That just left the Canadian heroes to celebrate in the ring with their entire family, including all the Hart brothers, Stu & Helen, and all their grandkids, among them Harry Smith and current Smackdown superstar Natalya.

Thus, one of the greatest shows of the 1990s, and one of this writer's personal all time favourites came to an end.

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So, did Canadian Stampede live up to the fond memories I have of it?

Absolutely. 

This show well deserves to be regarded as one of the most entertaining shows of all time and was absolutely solid from start to finish. 

In an age where WWE are tiring fans out with six-hour shows, perhaps they could look back to their past to rediscover just how awesome they could make things by trimming the fat and keeping things short.

After all, this was only a four-match card and yet it still stands the test of time, even 20 years later.

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1997 events reviewed so far:

1. WWF - Royal Rumble 1997
2. WCW - Souled Out 1997
3. WWF - In Your House 13: Final Four 
4. WCW - Superbrawl VII 
5. WCW - Uncensored 1997 
6. WWF - Wrestlemania 13
7. WCW Spring Stampede 1997
8. WWF - In Your House 14: Revenge of The Taker
9. WWF - In Your House 15: A Cold Day in Hell
10. WCW - Slamboree 1997
11. WWF - King of the Ring 1997
12. WCW - Great American Bash 1997 

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