September 12, 2004
Rose Garden, Portland, Oregon
I'm publishing this WWE Unforgiven 2004 review after taking a two-month hiatus from working on this site. It reminds me of the time I took a much longer hiatus from pro wrestling.
By 2003, I was pretty much done with wrestling. I didn't watch, I didn't read results or backstage gossip, I was done.
Proving that I was always destined to be a lifelong fan, I eventually found myself drawn back to WWE around 2007. At that time, Randy Orton was riding high as a headliner, feuding with the likes of Triple H, Batista, and John Cena in a never-ending series of Pay Per View main events.
My goodness were some of those main events tedious. At the time, I thought Orton was absolutely the most boring professional wrestler I'd ever seen in my life. For the life of me, I just couldn't work out why he was at the top of the card, nor why a certain contingent of "smart" fans considered him the bee's-knees.
Over a decade later, I started catching up with his earlier career here on Retro Pro Wrestling and, finally, I got it.
Randy Orton's early career was fantastic. His feud with Mick Foley, in particular, turned me into such a fan that, after years of disdain for 'The Viper,' I found myself inexplicably buying his merch when my wife and I went to a Smackdown taping earlier this year.
You can check out that experience in the video above if you're so inclined, but for now, let's get on with the reason you're really here:
To read about Orton defending his newly-won World Heavyweight Championship against Triple H in the main event of Unforgiven '04.
The Future of Evolution
Unforgiven 2004 began with one of the more exciting opening videos the company had produced in some time.
Dealing entirely with Randy Orton’s expulsion from the Evolution, this compelling intro sucked this fan into the rivalry between the new World Heavyweight Champion and his nemesis Triple H, making our upcoming main event truly feel like a can’t-miss attraction.
Live in the arena, pyro and ballyhoo took us to a greeting from our Raw announce team, Jim Ross & Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler who were hyped up for our four upcoming title matches.
Before we got to those, there was this:
Evolution (Batista & Nature Boy Ric Flair) vs. William Regal & Chris Benoit
Chris Benoit still had unfinished business with Evolution lingering from his run as World Heavyweight Champion, while William Regal had been dragged into things as a result of his friendship with.
As the match begin, JR informed us that Eugene’s career was effectively over thanks to an attack by Evolution, which was enough to bring Regal into this opening match.
And man, what a match it was.
Regal and Benoit were on form here while Ric Flair proved that he often did his best work on the defensive, flopping about the place and proving that he could still be hugely entertaining at this late stage of his career.
Say what you want about the Nature Boy these days, but he still pulled his weight in the best way he could at the tail end of his full-time career.
Speaking of weight, Batista threw his around with force and believability, handling the offensive side of things while Flair took care of the selling.
The result was a long, compelling match with nary a dull moment in sight.
After ganging up on Regal for a while, the Evolution boys soon found themselves back on the retreat as soon Benoit finally got the hot tag.
Shortly after, Batista and Regal battled on the outside while, between the ropes, Benoit got the better of Flair.
The Rabid Wolverine picked Slick Ric apart with a series of Germans but has his follow-up sharpshooter attempt thwarted by a Greco-Roman eye poke from The Dirtiest Player in the game.
Unfettered, Benoit locked in the Crippler Crossface and that was all she wrote.
Your Winners: Chris Benoit & William Regal
Out in the back, Christian and Trish Stratus argued over whether the latter could have ‘problem solver’ Tyson Tomko accompany her for her match.
Christian was against the idea, insisting that he would need Tyson to watch his back after winning the Intercontinental Championship later in the show.
It was never explained why Tomko couldn’t simply look out for the both of them. It’s not as it Christian and Trish’s matches would happen at the same time.
Still, this wasn’t about logic, it was about Christian making crass remarks about Trish.
“Look, I’ve got this crazy stalker coming to get me from behind!” yelled Stratus.
“It wouldn’t be the first time someone got you from behind,” replied Christian, making the obvious joke.
Anyway, Trish convinced Tomko to accompany her by whispering something in his ear about what they could do in her dressing room later.
The two left together, giving Christian the final line of the segment.
“She really is a slut,” he declared to himself.
WWE Women’s Championship
WWE Women’s Champion Trish Stratus vs. Victoria
Victoria arrived on the scene wearing a black, sequined jump shoot which she pulled away to reveal her wrestling gear.
That gave Jerry Lawler enough of an excuse to fawn over the former champion’s looks. That was a shame because Victoria was definitely among the few talented wrestlers competing in the women’s division at the time and that deserved more attention than how good she looked.
Proving she belonged in a real match and not one of WWE’s “sex sells” segments, Victoria looked like a formidable threat to Stratus from the very beginning.
The challenger dominated the early going of the match. Even when Tomko came to Trish’s assist, Victoria remained relentless until the champion halted her momentum with a simple elbow to the temple.
From there, the champion took control, stretching her opponent and wearing her down, but it wasn’t enough to keep Victoria down.
The challenger soon battled back, taking Trish and even leaping over the ropes to knock Tomko on his butt for good measure.
Unfortunately, that was to be her downfall.
Tyson chased Victoria, giving Stratus enough time to recover and meet her nemesis with her match-winning Stratusfaction finisher.
Your Winner and Still WWE Women’s Champion: Trish Stratus
The post-match shenanigans saw Tomko go after Victoria, picking her up by the throat for a good mauling.
‘The Problem Solver’ was quickly stopped in his tracks by a “mystery woman,” who was clearly a man in bad drag.
The person came to Victoria’s aid and then bolted, doing their best to hide their identity behind an ill-fitting wig.
Grabbing the microphone, Tomko ordered the “Mystery Woman” to come out and fight him, referring to them as a “cross-dressing hermaphrodite.”
It’s interesting that nobody knew anything ahout this woman but Tomko knew what genitalia she had.
Tyson Tomko vs. Stevie Richards
The woman made her way to the ring and was quickly stripped to her knickers, revealing that she was, in fact, Stevie Richards.
Tomko then spent way too long doing nothing but punching Richards.
This probably only lasted five minutes, but it was so mind-numbingly tedious that it felt like five days.
The longer it went on, the more the audience’s apathetic silence became low, resentful jeers which finally reached their crescendo in a hostile chant of “you suck.”
Ignoring the boos, Tomko and Richards continued to deliver one of the most boring matches in pro wrestling history until a bright spot finally came along.
Tomko yelled at his opponent and called him a “big sissy,” which apparently fired up Richards enough tool grab his opponent by the bollocks and batter him in the corner.
That proved to have little effect.
Tomko quickly recuperated and put us all out of our mystery with a TKO neckbreaker.
Your Winner: Tyson Tomko
My goodness, that was awful.
If you absolutely have to do Tyson Tomko revealing Stevie Richards as the man behind a “mystery woman” character and beating his ass for it, make it quick.
Surely Tomko steamrolling over Richards in a minute has a bigger impact than punching Stevie in the head for seven excruciating minutes?
At least it wouldn’t put everybody to sleep.
Time to Declare a Champion
Before the Intercontinental Championship ladder match between Christian and Chris Jericho, we got a recap of how this one all came together.
To sum up:
Chris Jericho wanted a shot at Edge’s Intercontinental title, but Edge was injured and had to forfeit the title instead.
Christian then returned and attacked his old rival, Jericho, and demanded Eric Bischoff award him the title.
Bischoff refused but did agree to Jericho’s suggestion that the two should scrap it out in a ladder match for the vacant title.
That was next.
Ladder Match for the Vacant WWE Intercontinental Championship
Chris Jericho vs. Christian
Tyson Tomko Banned From Ringside
Watching this match, it’s understandable why Christian would eventually decide to try his luck in TNA.
Giving the performance of his life, he and Jericho delivered the absolute best of the many contests they would have throughout 2004.
It made this fan in particular appreciate how good Christian was (still is) and how underutilized he was throughout his WWE solo run.
Jericho was no slouch either, of course, and the resulting match was one for the ages.
Things started out with some basic wrestling between the ropes until Y2J dumped Captain Charisma to the outside.
There, the two began a battle for the advantage that Christian eventually won by catching Jericho leaping off the ring steps and splattering him across the floor with an Unprettier.
The former tag team champion then slid a ladder into the ring and, from that point on, things only got better.
And better.
And better.
The two utterly annihilated one another with the ladder, the drama and excitement building from one painful spot to the next.
Christian slammed the ladder on Jericho, and Jericho retaliated by doing the same. At one point, the two climbed the ladder and Jericho pulled off the same ladder-assisted submission hold he’d used against Benoit back at Royal Rumble 2001.
In the end, both men went flying from the top of the ladder. Jericho made it to his feet first and one slow, sluggish climb later, was able to grab the gold.
Your Winner and New Intercontinental Champion: Chris Jericho
Backstage, Tod Grisham waited outside Kane’s dressing room for an interview with The Big Red Machine.
0 Comments