Mega Powers Running Wild!

The legendary 'Macho man' Randy Savage teams up with 'The Immortal' Hulk Hogan to take on Ted Dibiase and Andre The Giant in the first ever WWF Summerslam!

Shawn Micahels vs. Mankind

The Heartbreak Kid defends the WWF Championship against Mankind in a thrilling main event at WWF In Your House: Mind Games.

The Birth of the nWo

From Hulk Hogan's shocking turn at WCW Bash at the Beach 1996 to the addition of Ted Dibiase, THe Giant Syxx and more, relive the very beginning of the New World Order.

Austin 3:16 Says I Just Kicked Your Ass

It's one of the most famous promos of all time; Stone Cold Steve Austin wins the 1996 King of The Ring and serves notice on all the WWF superstars. Check it out in our complete review

Wrestlemania 12 Review

The boyhood dream comes true as Shawn Michaels battles champion Bret 'The Hitman' Hart in a classic 1-hour iron man match. Plus, Diesel vs. Undertaker and more.

WCW Fall Brawl 1996 Review

Was Sting in cahoots with the New World Order? Would Lex Luger be able to get along with the Four Horsemen as they faced the nWo in War Games? Find out in this review

Showing posts with label Terri. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Terri. Show all posts

Thursday, 13 January 2022

EVENT REVIEW: WCW Clash of the Champions XIII - Thanksgiving Thunder

WCW Clash of the Champions 13 Review - Thanksgiving Thunder
November 20th, 1990 
Jacksonville Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida. 

Clash of the Champions 13 - Thanksgiving Thunder saw World Championship Wrestling at weird time.

After rising to the height of popularity, Sting had finally captured the World Heavyweight Championship, only to find himself lacking any serious, credible challengers outside of the man he beat for the title, Nature Boy Ric Flair.

Instead of actually creating any serious, credible challengers, the WCW braintrust created The Black Scorpion, supposedly a dark and mysterious figure from Sting's past (with it being hinted that it might be his former partner, The Ultimate Warrior), but who was really just a goof in a mask who did stage magic and made ominous threats over the PA system.

The gimmick -and, indeed, the whole story line- clearly didn't work, but, as we'll see tonight, WCW were not ones to give up on a bad idea.






Here's what went down when Clash of the Champions XIII - Thanksgiving Thunder came to us live from Jacksonville, Florida.

Thanksgiving Thunder

WCW Clash of the Champions 13 Review - Jim Ross and Paul Heyman called the event

We began tonight’s show with a basic intro featuring clips of WCW’s stars beating the hell out of each other, all framed in log tuning bolts...get it, because thunder?

Anyway, we then went live to the arena where Jim Ross and Paul E. Dangerously put over the stipulations for tonight’s main event.

Not only was a tag team title shot on the line, but if Butch Reed won, then Teddy Long would get Ric Flair’s limo and yacht whereas if Nature Boy won, Long would have to be his chauffeur for the day.

Hmm.

Moving on, Dangerously ranted and raved about how we could talk to Lex Luger on the WCW Hotline before JR sent it to Garry Michael Capetta for our opening contest.

The Fabulous Freebirds (Michael ‘P.S’ Hayes & Jimmy ‘Jam’ Garvin w/ Little Richard Marley) vs. The Wild Eyed Southern Boys (Tracy Smothers & Steve Armstrong)

WCW Clash of the Champions 13 Review - Bobby Eaton and The Fabulous Freebirds
I often write these reviews months in advance, and right now it feels both fitting and incredibly sad that, less than 24 hours after learning of “Beautiful” Bobby Eaton’s passing, the first wrestling match I sat down to review looked to set to feature the Midnight Express legend.

This was all set to be a six-man, featuring Bobby teaming with Michael Hayes and Jimmy Garvin to face Tracy Smothers, Steve Armstrong, and El Gigante.

Alas, the Freebirds shot themselves in the foot before the match could start by grabbing the microphone and taking credit for El Gigante’s alleged disappearance.

The referee then declared that since Hayes had owned up to some shady doings, this would now be a regular tag match and Eaton had to go to the back. 

These two teams had a great match back at Clash of the Champions XI, and this looked like it was going to be on par with that.

Unfortunately, it was a much shorter bout than their last effort, and after about 6 short minutes of exciting tag team action, Little Richard Marley tripped up Tracy Smothers, allowing Hayes to hit the match-winning DDT.
Your Winners: The Fabulous Freebirds

WCW Clash of the Champions 13 Review - Sting and Tony Schiavone
Out in the arena, Tony Schiavone interviewed Sting

The World Heavyweight champion didn’t have much to say. He simply bounced up and down a lot and confirmed that he was fighting Black Scorpion again tonight.

He didn’t get to elaborate as he was interrupted by Ole Anderson’s Black Scorpion voice echoing through the PA.

Scorpion likewise said nothing that actually meant anything, it was simply a case of “listen to how spooky snd scary I am.”

To his credit, he did promise to show off some of his black magic. I’m telling you now, if that magic ends up being half as hilariously bad as his stunt at Halloween Havoc 90, I can’t wait for it.

Nature Boy Buddy Landel vs. Flyin’ Brian Pillman

This rematch from Great American Bash 1990 was a pretty good effort which saw Buddy Landell using all the devious heel tactics he could to counter Brian Pillman’s high-flying offence.

Of course, Pillman was the real star here.

He looked incredibly impressive and so it came as no surprise when he came off the top rope with a flying crossbody and won the match.
Your Winner: Brian Pillman

WCW Clash of the Champions 13 Review - Starrcade 1990 commercial
After another reminder that we could speak to Lex Luger on the WCW hotline, we next got a promo for Starrcade ‘90: Colission Course.

The video told us that Sting would face The Black Scorpion, which was news to me as I thought the earlier promo meant that said match was happening tonight.

It also promised us a universal tag team attraction featuring the best tag teams “from across the cosmos.” 

I won’t lie, that tag team thing actually looked pretty cool.

The Big Cat vs. ‘The Candy Man’ Brad Armstrong

WCW Clash of the Champions 13 Review - The Big Cat
No, this wasn’t Ernie Ladd. It was a young Curtis ‘Mr.’ Hughes in an early gimmick.

As he made his way to the ring for his I first appearance at a big WCW event, we got some pre-recorded comments from Cat in which he promised he was here to beat everyone up and that he had his sights firmly set on Lex Luger.

Before he could get to The Total Package, however, Cat first had to dispose of ‘The Candy Man’ Brad Armstrong who’s gimmick was...

...I don’t know, that he really liked candy or something?

Whatever he was supposed to be, Armstrong was really just there to serve as a warm body for Big Cat to throw around, which he did so in impressive fashion.

Indeed, watching this charismatic, well-built dude look like a star in the making here, it’s almost impossible to believe that he’s the same guy I just wrote about a few weeks ago as having an awful match with Sal Bellomo at ECW The Night the Line Was Crossed.

Anyway, Cat, trying to get Luger’s attention, lifted Armstrong up in the torture rack, and even though The Candy Man didn’t give up, the referee took mercy on him and stopped the match.
Your Winner: Big Cat 

Before the commercial, we got a word from Dick The Bruiser.

Sounding like he smoked 60 cigarettes a day, The Bruiser told us that he was known throughout the land as the toughest wrestler and the toughest referee in the world. As such, he was able to guarantee us a winner when he officiated the main event of Starrcade.

‘Prime Time’ Brian Lee vs. The Z-Man

WCW Clash of the Champions 13 Review - Prime Time Brian Lee
As The Z-Man made his way to the ring, Jim Ross told us that he was one of the more popular wrestlers in WCW and the crowd response seemed to back that claim up.

That was surprising as on previous shows that I’ve reviewed he was mainly used as cannon fodder for other wrestlers.

His opponent tonight was future Summerslam ‘94 headliner ‘Prime Time’ Brian Lee, making his WCW debut.

The match was decent for what it was, and even though all of these Clash matches were usually short to fit around commercials, Z-Man and Lee made the best out of the time allotted to them.

Of course, I’m not saying that this was a classic or anything, but it was perfectly acceptable for an undercard bout on a TV

Z-Man won, which was a rarity.
Your Winner: The Z-Man

WCW Clash of the Champions 13 Review - Tony Schiavone interviews Alexandra York and Michael Wallstreet
After the break, we went live to Tony Schiavone who was standing by with Michael Wallstreet and Alexandra York.

Wallstreet scalded Schiavone for calling him Mike Rotunda and revealed that he had legally changed his name to Michael Wallstreet after inheriting a large sum of money.

He then introduced us to his administrative assistant, Alexandra York, making this Terri Runnel’s first appearance on a big event.

York showed us a computer print out of a strategy she had compiled for Wallstreet using data on his upcoming opponent, The Starblazer.

According to Ms. York, as long as her man followed it to the letter, he would have no problem winning his match.

The Starblazer vs. Michael Wallstreet (w/ Alexandra York)

WCW Clash of the Champions 13 Review - The Starblazer
If you’re anything like me and had no idea who the heck The Starblazer was, it was apparently ‘White Lightning’ Tim Horner in a generic luchadore costume.

York’s strategy for Wallstreet seemed to work as he basically mauled his opponent, but the crowds were silent except for a small but noticeable ‘boring’ chant.

To be honest, you can’t blame them for that. While this wasn’t terrible either, it was lifeless and as formulaic as Starblazer’s attire.

The end came when Starblazer botched whatever move he was going for and ended up just deliberately laying down so that his opponent could put him in a Boston crab.

The former Captain Mike followed that up with a Samoan Drop he called the Wallstreet Crash and put his opponent, the crowd, and this writer out of our collective misery.
Your Winner: Michael Wallstreet 

Up next, Gordon Sollie shilled WCW’s magazine, The Wrestling Wrap-Up which led us into our top ten rankings for both the tag team division and singles competition.

The tag division seemed like a stretch as the bottom three were all make-shift teams featuring guys who had maybe only tagged together on a handful of occasions, while the singles rankings featured US champion Stan Hansen in the top spot, making him one step away from world champion Sting.

We then had Jim Ross tell us that the upcoming tag team tournament was in honour of the late, great Pat O’ Conner, would feature teams from all over the world and would be held at Starrcade.

That led us to our next match, where two teams would duke it out for the right to represent Africa in the tournament.

Pat O’ Conner International Tag Team Tournament African Qualifier
Sgt. Krueger & Col. Deklerk vs. Kalua & The Botswana Beast

Yet more names that I had to Google here.

Col. Deklerk was Ted ‘Flyboy Rocco Rock’ Petty while opinion seems to be divided as to whether Matt Borne or Ray Apollo played Sgt. Krueger.

One things for sure though, none of them were African.

Meanwhile, all signs point to Kalua being Larry ‘Thunderbolt’ Hamilton and the Botswana Beast being played by Bill Tabb, which doesn’t really help here as I’m not familiar with either of them but I’m pretty sure neither of them were African either.

Anyway, this was interesting because it started well enough with some nice wrestling between Kalua and Deklerk, but then The Botswana Beast tagged in and proved that outside of throwing a huge -and admittedly impressive- flying clothesline, he was a pretty terrible and awkward wrestler.

The rest of the match just completely fell apart, with all four men looking lost and having no idea what to do.

Deklerk and Krueger won when referee Randy Anderson shuffled awkwardly into position so that he couldn’t see them doing a double team move and then counted the fall.

I don’t say this often, but that was really, really bad.
Your Winners: Sgt. Krueger & Col. Deklerk

After the match, we went to a pre-recorded bit where legendary promoter Sam Muchnik invited all the wrestling fans to join him at Starrcade for the tag team tournament.

Muchnik was clearly reading from a script and didn’t care about this at all. I doubt anybody bought a ticket or PPV stream on the back of this.

Hansen and Luger Hate Each Other

WCW Clash of the Champions 13 Review - The Big Cat Confronts Lex Luger
Up next, we looked back at Clash of the Champions 12 when Stan Hansen attacked Lex Luger before going on to beat him for the US title at Halloween Havoc.

Weirdly, this didn’t set up a rematch between the two tonight but instead the announcers went on to tell us that Paul E. Dangerously had found some dude called The Motor City Mad Man who was going to fight Luger instead.

Before that match, Luger was about to talk about his various feuds when Big Cat approached him, only to get punched in the face and left seething.

The Motor City Mad Man vs. Lex Luger 

Yet another guy I’d never heard of, The Motor City Mad Man was Mike Moore who apparently was in a tag team called The Motor City Mad Men managed by Dangerously in the 80s.

Before his predictable loss to Luger, The Mad Man had to wait while Big Cat attacked the Total Package.

The referees eventually broke that up, and what we got was a pretty poor match that was saved only by Luger’s popularity.

After a few minutes of sloppy action, the former US champion put his opponent away with a clothesline.
Your Winner: Lex Luger 

After another Starrcade promo, Tony Schiavone interviewed Nick Patrick. Patrick informed us that The Steiner Brothers had been told off for trying to end the careers of The Nasty Boys.

So that was happening.

The Renegade Warriors (Chris & Mark Youngblood) vs. The Nasty Boys (Brian Knobbs & Jerry Sags)

WCW Clash of the Champions 13 Review - The Renegade Warriors
For what it was, this was a good match. The Nasty Boys had looked very impressive in their short 1990 run in WCW and although they’d be in the WWF for a run as cartoon characters very soon, they looked just as impressive here.

Meanwhile, The Renegade Warriors also brought their A-game and were starting to get over -to a degree- with the live crowd.

Those factors led to a fun match which ended when The Steiners ran in to attack Brian Knobbs and Jerry Sags.
Your Winners via Disqualification: The Nasty Boys 

Afterwards, The Nasties simply ran off. 

Vader is Back...Kinda 

Big Van Vader had debuted back at The Great American Bash and then hadn’t been seen -at least not on Clash shows or PPV- since.

A graphic told us that he was back, but that was literally it. There was no promo or hype video and he wasn’t shown again on this show unless it was in a bit that got cut out of the Network version.

The Nightstalker vs. Sid Vicious 

WCW Clash of the Champions 13 Review - Sid Vicious
The Night Stalker
was Bryan “Adam Bomb” Clarke carrying a ridiculous, oversized toy ax.

Sid Vicious was, well he was The Master of the World and a man who could never truly be a heel because the fans always loved him.

As the Four Horsemen representative made his way to the ring, we got some pre-recorded comments in which he promised to come after Sting as soon as he got done with The Night Stalker.

The match wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t great either.

The two behemoths tried a test of strength, then Night Stalker put Sid in a bear hug, then he did this really weird thing where he put him in the ropes and just lay his hands on Sid’s side like he was some kind of faith healer.

That was about the whole match. Big Cat came down for seemingly no reason and Night Stalker just had to stand around awkwardly waiting while Sid took care of him.

The Horseman then used Stalker’s own ridiculous axe toy against him to win the match.

Why didn’t he get DQ’d for using an international object? Because for the second time tonight, Randy Anderson had to awkwardly position himself so that he couldn’t see it, this time by taking a short nap in the corner despite not being touched.
Your Winner: Sid 

Post match, Stalker and Cat got their asses handed to them by The Ruler of The World.

That was a very clumsy and poorly executed finish.

El Gigante is Here After All

WCW Clash of the Champions 13 Review - El Gigante and The Southern Boys
Up next, The Fabulous Free Birds bragged about sending El Gigante packing back to Argentina, but then The Southern Boys turned up with street clothes wearing giant in tow.

I read somewhere that the reason Gigante hadn’t been in the match was that he missed his flight, but he’d clearly caught a later one and managed to make it for this nothing segment.

I wouldn’t have bothered.

With that over, Missy Hyatt reminded us to watch her and Jim Ross call a match between Arn Anderson and Terry Taylor on Main Event.

A recap of the Steiners attacking The Nasty Bots followed, after which we got to see Rick & Scott in action.

Magnum Force vs. NWA United States Tag Team Champions The Steiner Brothers (Rick & Scott Steiner)

You know, I’ve been watching pro wrestling since 1992 and I’ve been writing these reviews for almost ten years now and yet never before have I ever had to Google “who the f**k are these guys?” more than I have with Clash of the Champions 13.

Truth is, even after Google I still don’t know who Magnum Force are as the consensus seems to be that the original Force had been replaced by two other wrestlers and nobody can quite agree what their names are

Not that it really mattered.

Magnum Force were clearly jobbers and were easily disposed of in a quick match that was barely worth watching.
Your Winners: The Steiner Brothers 

Post match, The Nasties ran in but quickly got sent packing out of the arena, out of WCW, and into the waiting arms of Titan Sports.

A Word With The Horsemen

Up next, Ric Flair reminded Doom that they would have to walk that aisle as he, Tony Schiavone and Arn Anderson went over the stipulations for our main event.

As they did so, stagehands could be seen setting up some contraption for more of The Black Scorpion’s cheap stage magic.

Flair was as good as he ever was in this promo, but to be honest, this Clash show has been such a clusterf**k to write about that it’s hard to maintain interest at this point.

The Black Scorpion is a Magician 

Up next, Sting came out to tell Paul E. Dangerously that he was ready to come face to face with The Black Scorpion, but instead The Scorpion dragged a plant out of the crowd, made his head rotate 360 using a magic box, then turned him into a tiger.

For his final act, Scorpion made himself disappear.

This was all supposed to be  evidence of the Black Scorpion’s super powers, but it was nothing you couldn’t see watching any stage magician in the land.

It was also made worse by the fact that Paul Heyman and Sting both started shouting over what was very clearly some pre-recorded audio of Ole Anderson doing his Scorpion voice.

Silly.

WCW Tag Team Champion Butch Reed (w/ Teddy Long and Ron Simmons) vs. Nature Boy Ric Flair (w/ TV Champion Arn Anderson)

WCW Clash of the Champions 13 Review - Teddy Long picks Butch Reed to face Ric Flair
The deal here was that we didn’t know which two men would represent their teams and it was to be decided by a coin toss.

Except it wasn’t. At least not entirely. 

Doom called Heads, but then Nick Patrick simply asked Teddy Long who was going to represent them and he picked Butch Reed. 

Surely he could have done that without a coin toss?

Flair and Anderson’s coin toss was a little more like how it’s supposed to be done. Flair also called heads, heads it was, and thus he got to wrestle.

With that done, Jim Ross reminded us of what was at stake.

If The Horsemen won, they would get a tag team title shot at Starrcade and Teddy Long would have to be their chauffeur for the day.

If Doom won, there was to be no Starrcade match and Long would get both Ric Flair’s 65ft yacht and his limo. 

Unsurprisingly, this was the best match on the card by a country mile and was the first time all night that the crowd really came to life.

OK, so it wasn’t Flair’s greatest match ever, but given the caliber of his work, that’s hardly a criticism.

This was still very, very good and made sitting through all the crap that went before it very much worth it.

At one point, Reed looked to have the match won thanks to an awesome top rope shoulder tackle, but Long was arguing with Patrick on the outside so there was nobody to make the count.

Then Ron Simmons took out Flair and again, Reed could have won, but this time Arn Anderson hit him with a chair.

Flair got the cover, Anderson threw Patrick in the ring and that was that.
Your Winner: Ric Flair

The Horsemen and Doom now had a date with destiny at Starrcade.







You know, I’ve been enjoying watching all of these old WCW shows simply because I never got to see them as a kid due to the company’s non-existent TV exposure here in the UK.
Even when the matches have been poor, nostalgia has kept me invested, but not with this one.

Clash of the Champions XIII was a chore to watch.

Sure, a couple of the undercard matches were decent, but they weren’t enough to make up for the number of squash matches featuring no mark jobbers and that abysmal “none of us are actually African” African qualifying match.

Still, the main event was fantastic. If you’re even mildly curious, enjoy the opening Freebirds/Southern Boys match then skip out all of the other crap until you get to the awesome Flair/Reed match.

Thursday, 14 November 2019

PPV REVIEW: WWF Royal Rumble 2000

WWE / WWF Royal Rumble 2000 - Event poster
January 23, 2000
Madison Square Garden, New York

It's interesting that while 1999 was among one of the financially successful in the World Wrestling Federation's history, it was also, from a creative standpoint, one of its absolute dirt worst.

We've just covered every WWF and WCW PPV from 1999 here on Retro Pro Wrestling and believe me when I tell you, there were times when shows from both companies were so bad that your reviewer seriously considered abandoning this blog altogether.

Still, here we are.

A new year had dawned in the World Wrestling Federation, and as the company marched headlong into a brand new millennium, there came a new sense of hope that things could get better.

With that in mind, let's head to Madison Square Garden for the Royal Rumble 2000 to see whether they actually did or not.





No remorse

WWE / WWF Royal Rumble 2000 - Jim Ross & Jerry 'The King' Lawler called the action
Our show tonight began with a fantastic promo video for the upcoming Cactus Jack vs. Triple H street fight. Splicing together footage of the two at their most violent and sadistic (including shots of Cactus competing in the IWA King of Death Match 1995 tournament) with a captivating voiceover in which both men talked about how good they were and how much they were going to destroy the other, this was a great way to get you hyped up for the show.

From there, we panned the New York City faithful as Jim Ross and Jerry 'The King' Lawler welcomed us to the show. The iconic Attitude Era duo talked up not only tonight's main event but also the Rumble match itself before sending us down to our opening contest.

Kurt Angle vs. Tazz

WWE / WWF Royal Rumble 2000 - Tazz debuted against Kurt Angle
Heading to the ring first, Kurt Angle took to the microphone and proved why everybody says he was such a natural at pro wrestling by cutting a very entertaining heel promo that really got the crowd fired up.

Angle then made out like the man he'd be facing tonight was supposed to be a surprise by addressing his "unnamed opponent." However, at that moment, the crowd immediately began chanting "We want Tazz!"

Eventually, the former ECW star himself appeared and went to war with Angle in a short, explosive opening bout.

Trading suplexes galore, the two ensured that the WWF's first PPV of the new millennium got underway in terrific fashion with a hugely enjoyable performance that saw Angle pass out to the Tazzmission, suffering his first WWF loss.
Your Winner: Tazz

His job done, the victor simply marched off backstage as Angle sold the devastating effects of the Tazmission by being stretchered off and given an oxygen mask.

It was a brilliant way to get the newcomer over which makes it all the more of a shame that they never really did much with him.

The Hardys are Ready for Action

WWE / WWF Royal Rumble 2000 - Michael Cole interviewed The Hardy Boyz w/ Terri
Out in the back, Michael Cole interviewed Terri Runnels and The Hardy Boyz about Matt & Jeff's upcoming tables match with The Dudley Boyz.

Terri was just telling Cole how they were going to go out and kick ass when Jeff interrupted, letting her know that it was too dangerous for her to be out there.

For his part, Matt told Cole that even though The Dudleys were 'the masters of putting people through tables' (as if it were a specialist skill), he and Jeff were going to win the match or die trying.

Bless 'em, the Hardys really didn't have much charisma here. This whole promo was seriously cringe-worthy, but at least the two would get better over the next two decades.

Tables Match
The Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray & D-Von Dudley) vs. The Hardy Boyz (Matt & Jeff Hardy)

WWE / WWF Royal Rumble 2000 - Jeff Hardy prepares to dive at Madison Square Garden
Having dropped the whole stuttering gimmick, Bubba Ray Dudley joined his brother D-Von Dudley in getting some early heel heat by talking smack about some New York baseball star.

Being British and having no interest in sports outside of pro wrestling, your writer never has any idea what's going on when wrestlers use the local sports team for heat. What I do know, however, is that this the exact same tactic that Kurt Angle used in the first match, making The Dudleyz' tactic a little repetitive.

The match itself, however, was highly original, at least for the time.

Both teams traded some pretty innovative offence, building the match into a captivating stunt-fest in which you had to put both of your opponents through the wood in order to win.

Bubba Ray and Matt Hardy were both planted through tables, after which the match developed to a jaw-dropping finish in which Jeff Hardy hit a Swanton bomb off the balcony crashing through two tables with D-Von sandwiched in between them.

That, my friends, was a really good match.
Your Winners: The Hardy Boyz

Out in the back, a groggy and confused Kurt Angle was seen getting checked over by EMTs. As out of it as he might have been, Angle still had the wherewithal to claim that he was still technically undefeated since Tazz had choked him out.

Miss Rumble 2000 Contest
WWF Women's Champion The Kat vs. Ivory vs. Terri Runnels vs. Jacqueline vs. Barbara Bush vs. Luna Vachon vs. Mae Young

WWE / WWF Royal Rumble 2000 - The King is stunned at Mae Young wanting to get naked
With Jerry Lawler on compere duties, a group of sexy young women in their twenties and thirties sauntered to ringside to judged by a panel of old men (and one old woman) which included legends Sgt. Slaughter, Tony Garea, The Fabulous Moolah, Johnny V and Classy Freddie Blassie, the latter of whom received a huge ovation from the New York crowd. Joining them on the panel was Conan O'Brien co-host Andy Richter, who was also somehow qualified for the gig.

One by one, the ladies took turns to reveal their bathing suits, with prudish heel Ivory reluctant to do so but still looking remarkably hot anyway.

Terri and Jacqueline also looked particularly stunning, while Barbara Bush was naturally a thing of beauty too. The Kat, however, wore a bathing suit made out of bubble wrap which was supposed to be sexy but which actually made her look like she was wearing a diaper and was all kinds of odd.

Luna Vachon refused to participate at all, which was just as well as they needed the extra time for Mae Young. Young arrived on the scene as a last-minute surprise and claimed that everybody wanted to see her puppies, much to the shock and horror of just about everyone.

She then began to strip to her bathing suit and strut around the place, which was pretty funny until she literally exposed her bare breasts to Madison Square Garden at which point, the joke had clearly been pushed too far. With the producers doing their best to censor the saggy boobs, Mark Henry came in to protect her modesty.

Finally, Young was declared the winner, bringing to an end a segment that started off sexy, got funny, and ended with more cringe than that earlier Hardy Boyz promo.
Your Winner: Mae Young

Cutting across to the company's new 'entertainment complex' WWF New York, newcomer The Coach made his WWF PPV debut getting mobbed by a bunch of rabid fans while saying nothing of note other than letting us know that WWF New York existed.

Chris Jericho is not a Gentleman

WWE / WWF Royal Rumble 2000 - Co-intercontinental Champions Chris Jericho & Chyna
Meanwhile, back in the arena, co-Intercontinental Champions Chris Jericho and Chyna were seen arguing over which one of them got to wear the belt to the ring for their upcoming match.

Chyna, whose theme song literally started with the words "don't treat me like a woman," claimed that Jericho should be chivalrous and let her wear it.

"Chivalrous?" exclaimed Jericho. "What do you think this is, the middle ages?"

Before the argument could get any more heated, Dave Hebner came and snatched the title from them, claiming he'd be the one to take it to ringside.

Amusingly, Jericho first referred Dave as Earl before correcting himself.

Triple Threat match for the World Wrestling Federation Intercontinental Championship
Co-WWF Intercontinental Champion Chyna vs. Co-WWF Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho vs. Hardcore Holly

Though you might question why Hardcore Holly needed to be involved in this one, it was nonetheless a solid mid-card triple threat match that entertained from bell-to-bell.

Prior to the match, Chris Jericho took to the microphone to promise that the celebration after he won would be the biggest thing ever. He then proceeded to deliver a perfectly acceptable performance against Chyna and Holly before making good on his word and picking up the three thanks to an Asai Moonsault.
Your Winner and New Undisputed Intercontinental Champion: Chris Jericho

I say 'true to his word,' his post-match celebration was really nothing special.

Finally...The Rock has come back to New York City

WWE / WWF Royal Rumble 2000 - Michael Cole interviews The Rock
Out in the back, Michael Cole asked The Rock if there were any superstars he was worried about facing in tonight's Royal Rumble match.

Hilariously, The Great One told us that he had his concerns about Crash Holly and Headbanger Mosh, but that if he could get past them, he might have a chance of winning.

Cole, of course, was thinking that The Rock might have a bigger problem with The Big Show, to which Rocky responded by sending Cole away to fix himself a glass of Shut Up Juice then laying the verbal smackdown on Paul Wight.

Finally, The Most Electrifying Man in Sports Entertainment wrapped up this awesome promo by guaran-damn-teeing that he would win tonight's Royal Rumble and go on to become our new WWF Champion at Wrestlemania 16.

Though it should go without saying, this was amazing stuff from The People's Champion.

We got two words for ya...

Prior to our final undercard match of the evening, we were reminded that The Acolytes had earned a tag team title shot tonight by winning a battle royal back at Armageddon 1999.

Farooq and Bradshaw had then spent the rest of the past few weeks feuding with Road Dogg and Billy Gunn, with both teams beating the heck out of each other on multiple occasions, and if you weren't down with that, Farooq had two words for ya...

...Ass Kicking.

World Wrestling Federation Tag Team Championship
WWF Tag Team Champions The New Age Outlaws (Road Dogg Jesse James & Bad Ass Billy Gunn) vs. The Acolytes (Farooq & Bradshaw)

WWE / WWF Royal Rumble 2000 - The New Age Outlaws faced The Acolytes for the Tag Team TitlesThis was the worst match on the card, but that's not to say that it was actually bad.

It was a short and sweet affair in which The Acolytes used their brute power to just absolutely demolish the New Age Outlaws.

A minute or two in, Farooq looked to get the win on Road Dogg, only for Billy Gunn to yank the referee out of the ring, only for Bradshaw to charge at him, knocking both Gunn and the referee flying.

That presented an opportunity for X-Pac to run in, and in the resulting confusion, Billy was able to hit Bradshaw with a Fame Asser for the fall.
Your Winners and Still WWF Tag Team Champions: The New Age Outlaws

Up next, we got another look back at the intense rivalry between Triple H and Cactus Jack.

Street Fight for the World Wrestling Federation Championship
WWF Champion Triple H (w/ Stephanie McMahon) vs. Cactus Jack

WWE / WWF Royal Rumble 2000 -  Cactus Jack and Triple H went to war
We'd seen Hunter and Mick Foley have enjoyable matches before, such as their brawl at Canadian Stampede: In Your House 16, their cage match at Summerslam 1997 and, to a lesser extent, their opening bout at One Night Only 1997 in England.

Yet none of those matches could hold a candle to the sheer brutality of this no-holds-barred street fight.

Though it may not be quite as memorable as Foley's show-stealing performance against The Rock at Royal Rumble 1999, this was still nonetheless a fantastic title match that got better and better the longer it went.

Despite a slow start, both champ and challenger worked hard to turn this into a violent, bloody massacre of a match. They used fists, they used steel chairs, they used 2x4s wrapped in barbed wire and they absolutely destroyed not only each other but everything in their path.

Google usually gives me grief for posting shots of wrestlers sporting the crimson mask, so here's a link to the shot of a bloody and broken Triple H.

Yet The Game wasn't the only one to take a beating. In a callback to the aforementioned Mankind/Rock I Quit match, Cactus Jack had his hands handcuffed behind his back and had the crap kicked out of him all the way to the entrance way.

Undeterred, Jack begged for more, but before Hunter could strike, The Rock arrived and smashed his old nemesis with a steel chair, after which a New York City cop unhandcuffed the challenger.

The two then brawled back to the ring where Foley took a vicious back body drop and a pedigree onto some thumbtacks to end the match.
Your Winner and Still WWF Champion: Triple H


All told, including entrances, that whole match lasted over half an hour and you know what? I enjoyed every minute of it.

Afterwards, a battered and bloody champion was stretchered off while the defeated Cactus, being the Hardcore Legend that he was, simply got up and dragged Triple H back for another ass whooping.

To be honest, one of the best parts of the post-match antics was seeing JR & King at their announce table, which had been destroyed and was covered in the spilt blood of Triple H.

Talk about a warzone.

A Word with the CEO

Prior to our main event, we went back to WWF New York where Jonathan Coachman tried to interview a sour-faced Linda McMahon about her daughter Stephanie's nefarious heel turn.

Linda refused to comment on Steph's actions but promised that things would be handled 'The McMahon Way' from there on in.

2000 Royal Rumble Match
Featuring: The Rock, Big Show, D'Lo Brown, Grandmaster Sexay, Scotty 2 Hotty, Edge, Christian, Val Venis, Big Boss Man, Chris Jericho, Chyna, X-Pac, Kane, The Godfather, Rikishi, Bob Backlund and more

WWE / WWF Royal Rumble 2000 -  The Rock won the Rumble match
And so the Royal Rumble match got underway with a somewhat uninspired effort between entrants 1 & 2, D'Lo Brown and Grandmaster Sexay. Entrant number three was The Rock's worse nightmare, Headbanger Mosh, who sported some rather interested fur cones on his chest. That was the most interesting thing that happened for a few minutes until Rikishi came in at the number five spot (Christian was number four).

The big man cleaned house, eliminating everyone in the ring and even taking out his Too Cool buddies Grandmaster Sexay and Scotty Too Hotty, though not without the obligatory dance break.

'Kishi stayed on a roll, further eliminating Steve Blackman and Viscera before Big Boss Man and Test arrived, at which point the match settled into a fairly basic yet still pretty entertaining Rumble.

Other highlights included:

  • Bob Backlund appearing as a surprise entrant
  • Mean Street Posse running into attack Farooq and later Bradshaw for seemingly no reason
  • Kai En Tai hilariously making multiple run-ins, only to be immediately thrown over the top. At one point, Taka Michinoku got injured, so Funaki continued to do run-ins on his own for the rest of the match, it was pretty funny.

In the end, it all came down to X-Pac, Kane, Big Show and The Rock. X-Pac got eliminated but the referee didn't see it, so he was able to come back and hang out for a while before taking Kane out of the mix. Naturally, 'Pac was the next man to go, leaving the predictable showdown between Rock and Big Show.

After an enjoyable bit of back-and-forth, both men toppled over the top, but Rock was able to hold on while Big Show crashed to the outside.

Not the best Rumble match in history then, but still decent enough.
Your Winner: The Rock

Afterwards, The Rock took to the microphone to declare that he was on his way to Wrestlemania, only for The Big Show to return and beat him up. The two had an intense staredown and trash-talked each other as Royal Rumble 2000 went off the air.





While the actual Rumble match may not have been the greatest in history, it's fair to say that this was the most fun I've had writing a Retro Pro Wrestling review for a long time.

After the long, hard slog of crash-course TV and sub-par matches that was 1999, Royal Rumble 2000 made for a refreshing change.

There really wasn't a bad match on the card and, overall, this one was a lot of fun from start to finish.

One I do recommend checking out.




For more Royal Rumble reviews see:

Thursday, 5 September 2019

PPV REVIEW: WWF - No Mercy 1999

WWE / WWF No Mercy 1999 - Event poster
October 17, 1999
Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio

Though there's every chance your writer could be wrong on this one, 1999 was the first and only year in WWE history that the company held two different pay per view events at different times with exactly the same name.

I say exactly the same so that we can forget about that whole Greatest Royal Rumble thing for a while and focus on the story of No Mercy.

In May of that year, the company held the first version of the event, a UK only PPV which saw WWF Champion Stone Cold Steve Austin defeat Triple H and The Undertaker in a three-way main event.

Five months down the line and the World Wrestling Federation had decided that they liked the No Mercy name so much that they were going to use it again for their October PPV.

This time around, however, Austin would be the one to challenge for the title as defending champion Triple H walked into Cleveland, Ohio aiming to prove his reputation as The Game.






Let's head there ourselves and see just what went down when the WWF presented the American version of No Mercy 1999.

WWE / WWF No Mercy 1999 - Jim Ross & Jerry 'The King' Lawler called the action Tonight, there will no mercy

Though it was well done, there was nothing particularly special about tonight's opening video package. It basically told us all about the upcoming WWF title match between Austin and Triple H before sending us live to the arena where Jim Ross and Jerry 'The King' Lawler welcomed us to the show.

The two didn't have time to say much as we went straight down to our first match

The Godfather (w/ The Hos) vs. Mideon (w/ Viscera)

WWE / WWF No Mercy 1999 - The Godfather dances with his hos
That week on Smackdown, Mideon and Viscera had double-teamed The Godfather after The Pimp Daddy scored a win over Mideon, leading to tonight's rematch.

Jim Ross told us that, after the attack on Smackdown, The Godfather was probably not in a jovial mood. Clearly contradicting JR, as he said this, we saw Godfather smiling hugely and dancing around with his hos.

Hilariously, Mideon had refused Godfather's offer to spend a night with one of the hos on Smackdown, insisting that he much preferred farm animals.

Tonight, Godfather addressed this by saying that since he didn't have any farm animals since Mideon didn't want any hos, he was just going to straight up kick his ass.

And kick his ass he did, in a match that you pretty much wanted to be over as soon as it started.

I mean, I'm not saying it was the worst thing you'll ever see, but it was exactly like you'd imagine a Godfather/Mideon to be...except about five times as long.

After what felt like an eternity, Godfather rolled up Mideon to bring this fairly average match to an end.
Your Winner: The Godfather

Up next, we were shown a clip of Triple H attacking Stone Cold Steve Austin on Smackdown, then bragging about it to Michael Cole earlier on Heat.

Age vs. Beauty

WWE / WWF No Mercy 1999 - WWF Women's Champion Ivory
Out in the back, Michael Cole interviewed WWF Women's Champion Ivory about her upcoming match against The Fabulous Moolah. Moolah and Mae Young had pissed off the champ by beating her up at last month's Unforgiven 1999, leading to tonight's match.

Ivory was clearly not happy about having to face the ageing Moolah and spent her entire promo laying into how old she and Young were. It was good stuff from Ivory, and without even having seen it, I can guarantee you it was a thousand times better than the match would be.

World Wrestling Federation Women's Championship
WWF Women's Champion Ivory vs. The Fabulous Moolah (w/ Mae Young)

Bless 'em. They tried hard to make this work, but it was more of a comedy match than anything. Ivory battered Moolah and whenever Mae Young tried to interfere -which she did a lot- Ivory just took her out too. Somehow, every time she hit Mae Young, it got funnier, but then Moolah rolled up the champ and stole a three count and suddenly it wasn't so funny any more.

Not a good match at all, though they certainly did their best with it.
Your Winner and NEW Women's champion: The Fabulous Moolah

I should note that was Moolah's first WWF PPV match since the 1987 Survivor Series.

Vince Changes the Rules

Earlier, on Heat, Vince McMahon informed Triple H that tonight's main event would no be no holds barred, anything goes. Naturally, this had angered The Champion, whose entire strategy depended on getting The Rattlesnake so worked up that he got himself DQ'd.

The New Age Outlaws (Road Dogg Jesse James  & Bad Ass Billy Gunn) vs. The Hollys (Hardcore & Crash Holly)

WWE / WWF No Mercy 1999 - Road Dogg beats up Hardcore Holly
The Hollys cost The New Age Outlaws the tag titles in a match against a reunited Rock & Sock Connection on Smackdown which meant the two teams now had an excuse to fight.

For the most part, this followed the same formula as every Outlaws match you've ever seen:

  • Road Dogg spends a year getting his ass kicked.
  • Billy Gunn makes the hot tag.
  • The Match somehow ends.
Though it was generic, this was one of those instances where that formula served as the foundations of a very entertaining match.

After a solid effort from both teams, Hardcore Holly slid a chair into the ring, only for Billy Gunn to hit Crash Holly with a Fame Asser onto it. That was enough to cause the referee to ring the bell, bringing this enjoyable outing to a close.
Your Winners via Disqualification: The Hollys

Up next, we got a look back at the rivalry between Chyna and Jeff Jarrett which led to tonight's match.

Good House Keeping Match for the World Wrestling Federation Intercontinental Championship
WWF Intercontinental Champion Jeff Jarrett (w/ Miss Kitty) vs. Chyna

WWE / WWF No Mercy 1999 - Jeff Jarrett & Miss Kitty
By now, we all know the story of how Jeff Jarrett's contract had expired the day before the PPV. As legend has it, Jarrett agreed to drop the Intercontinental title on his way out the door, but only if Vince McMahon paid Jarrett all of the PPV bonus money he was owed up front rather than months down the line as was the company's standard procedure.

McMahon relented, causing a rift between the two that wouldn't be healed until many years later.

Though the story telegraphed the ending of this match, it certainly didn't dampen the enjoyment of it.

A Good House Keeping match was essentially a falls-count-anywhere hardcore match in which only household objects were legal weapons. I say only as that would become important in the finish.

Before that, however, the unique stipulation gave us plenty of fun spots as Chyna and Jarrett beat each other with brooms and trash cans and all manner of household goods. It gave us even more fun spots as they hurled food at each other (at one point Chyna smacked Jarrett with salami and he countered later with a fish), and, overall, it gave us a match that, while certainly not a technical classic- really made you smile just watching it.

Towards the end, referee Teddy Long got squashed in the corner, so Jarrett grabbed the Intercontinental title and waffled Chyna with. The referee recovered, Jarrett made the three count, and this one was over...

..Except it wasn't.

Having somehow found out what had gone down, Long stopped Jarrett and Miss Kitty from leaving the arena and told them that the match had to continue since the Intercontinental title wasn't a household item.

WWE / WWF No Mercy 1999 -  Chyna won the Intercontinental Championship
"Of course it's a household item," quipped Lawler. "I've seen it in Jarrett's house!"

Back in the ring, an irate Double J looked to take out his frustrations on Long, knocking him to the mat and going for the Figure Four, only for Chyna to whack him over the back of the head with a guitar.

Despite it not technically being a household item either, Long allowed it and, one three count later, we had our first (and only?) female Intercontinental Champion.
Your Winner and NEW WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chyna

And so that was to be Jeff Jarrett's last WWF match until the Royal Rumble event some 20 years later. The following night, Double J would return to World Championship Wrestling and see out the remainder of the Monday Night Wars there before being publically fired by McMahon and going on to form a little-known company called TNA wrestling.

Meanwhile, Chyna had become not only the first female Royal Rumble entrant, but also the first female Intercontinental Champion and, in this fan's mind at least, that more than qualifies her for her own Hall of Fame induction outside of the 2019 D-Generation-X induction.

The British Bulldog vs. WWF Tag Team Champion The Rock

WWE / WWF No Mercy 1999 -  The British Bulldog battles The Rock
As with most major matches, this one began with a video package recapping the rivalry between The British Bulldog and The Rock. However, it totally glossed over the fact that Davey Boy had cost The Great One his WWF title match at Rebellion 1999 just a few weeks earlier.

That's mostly because the WWF still didn't really see it's UK PPVs as anything more than glorified house shows.

The actual match itself wasn't bad at all, but it never really picked up the pace and felt more like a mid-card bout from Raw rather than a top-level PPV match.

Nor did you ever really feel as though The Rock was in any danger of losing. Sure, The Bulldog got some offence in. He even hit Rocky with his trademark power slam, but Rock only sold a minimal amount and always bounced back pretty quickly.

After a short, passable contest, The Great One predictably picked up the win thanks to a Rock Bottom and People's Elbow.
Your Winner: The Rock

WWE / WWF No Mercy 1999 -  Jerry 'The King' Lawler interviews Terri up a ladder
Earlier, on Heat, Terri Runnels had been explaining to Jerry Lawler that, in order to win the Terri Runnels Invitational, a team would have to climb a ladder and retrieve the prize - money and a contract for her managerial services.

Lawler had Terri demonstrate by climbing a ladder just so that he could look up her skirt. It was pervy but very funny.

Terri Runnels Invitational Ladder Match
Edge & Christian vs. The Brood (Matt & Jeff Hardy w/ Gangrel)

Before the bell, JR told us that this was the first tag team ladder match in WWF history, though it certainly wouldn't be the last.

Referees ejected Gangrel early on, leaving Matt and Jeff Hardy to deliver an absolutely incredible match with Edge and Christian.

I said that the tag team gauntlet match back at Summerslam 1999 was the making of Edge and Christian, but tonight really was the night that stars were born in Edge, Christian and The Hardyz.

All four men held nothing back as they continually upped the ante to deliver one jaw-dropping spot after another. OK, so some fans might be quick to deride this as little more than a spot fest, but this kind of match -at least in the WWF- was groundbreaking at the time and when all the spots were delivered so well, who cares what you call it?

Truth be told, I tend to review these shows in bulk, usually going through about three or four different PPVs in a single weekend. That's a lot of wrestling and it's easy to get burned out, but not today. Watching this match was absolutely the most fun I've had watching wrestling in a long, long time.

All in all, a great effort that saw Jeff Hardy leap from one ladder to another and retrieve the sack containing $100,000 to win the match, and the services of Terri Runnels.
Your Winners: Matt and Jeff Hardy

Post-match, The Hardyz were rushed backstage in order to be filmed celebrating with Terri herself while Edge and Christian stayed in the ring to receive a standing ovation.

Finally, The Rock has come back to Cleveland

WWE / WWF No Mercy 1999 -  Finally, The Rock came back to No Mercy
Up next, we were shown a clip from Heat of Mankind wandering the backstage area looking to give a copy of his book Have a Nice Day to The Rock but instead getting beaten up by Val Venis in the bathroom.

Those two would square off soon, but first, The Great One came out to the ring to challenge the winner of tonight's main event to a title shot.

Though he kept things fairly short and sweet, Rock was as entertaining as ever.

On his way backstage, however, he was greeted by Triple H, who took out The People's Champion with a few well-placed sledgehammer shots. EMTs including Barbara Bush had to come and carry Rocky backstage on a stretcher.

Val Venis vs. WWF Tag Team Champion Mankind

WWE / WWF No Mercy 1999 -  Val Venis faced Mankind
Ah, Mankind, the three-time WWF champion capable of having memorable main events with the likes of Austin, Undertaker and The Rock, now spending the latter part of 1999 taking on lifelong mid-carders like Val Venis.

At first glance, this didn't look like it was going to amount to much, especially as Mankind was clearly so broken down as to be very limited physically.

Still, what he lacked in athletic prowess this night he more than made up for with the kind of psychology that only a savvy veteran could possess. What's more, he used that psychology to ensure that he and Venis put on the best match possible.

Sure, it wasn't pretty, but what started off relatively poorly eventually built up into a compelling bout that had you gripped all the way to the finish.

Speaking of the finish, Mankind slapped the mandible claw on Val, but Val pulled out a sock of his own and grabbed Mick by the balls until he passed out. A three count later and this one was over.
Your Winner: Val Venis

Afterwards, Mankind beat up on Val and then left with a copy of his book, which was important since this whole feud seemed to be about nothing more than not-so-subtly promoting Have a Nice Day.

Out in the back, The Rock continued to receive treatment from EMTs on a stretcher.

Four Corners Elimination Match
Farooq vs. Bradshaw vs. X-Pac vs. Kane

WWE / WWF No Mercy 1999 -  Farooq vs. Bradshaw vs. Kane vs. X-Pac
I'm not quite sure why they had two tag teams facing each other in an every-man-for-himself elimination match, but it didn't seem to matter too much.

From the opening bell, we got a decent battle between all four men, including parts where Bradshaw faced Farooq and X-Pac went at it with Kane.

After a lengthy showing, Kane eliminated Bradshaw then X-Pac immediately lept off the top rope and eliminated Kane, leading to a short but enjoyable fight with Farooq.

In the end, the former Nation of Domination lept off the ropes and straight into a horrible-looking X-Factor, giving the DX member the win.

This whole match never really went beyond being anything more than 'just OK,' but as a cool-down before the main event, it served its purpose.
Your Winner: X-Pac

Out in the back, The Rock's treatment now saw him with a bandage around his ribs, though JR & King told us that The Great One had, somewhat unwisely, refused medical treatment.

Before our main event, we got a look at how Austin and Triple H's rivalry had begun back at Summerslam 1999 and developed to the point that they'd face each other tonight for the title. the video was pretty cool and featured some of the H-Blockx song Oh Hell Yeah from WWF The Music Volume 4 which I'll be reviewing on here very soon.

Anything Goes Match for the World Wrestling Federation Championship
WWF Champion Triple H vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin

WWE / WWF No Mercy 1999 -  Triple H on Heat
And so, it came down to this, a lengthy, Attitude Era-style no holds barred match for the WWF title that delivered on all counts.

What we had here was Austin's typical main event format (lots of wild brawling and creative spots) combined with Triple H's penchant for drama, psychology, and spots involving the announce tables.

The result was a very good main event that was a joy to watch.

In the beginning, Triple H tried bringing his sledgehammer, but Vince McMahon came out and disallowed it, so The Hs decked him one.

Later, as the match reached its conclusion, Rocky came limping out with the sledgehammer to get revenge, but he only got planted by the champion. As did Austin who, three seconds later, lost the match.
Your Winner and Still WWF Champion: Triple H

And that was that. No fancy ending, no big post-match shenanigans, just Triple H riding off into the sunset with his title.





It's fair to say that No Mercy was mostly -mostly- a good show. Nobody needs Mideon/Viscera in their life and the four-man elimination match was nothing special either, but that incredible tag team ladder match, the entertaining Good House Keeping match and a thrilling main event all made up for the sour spots on what was probably a good, solid 3.5/5 rated card.

If there's any one match that's a definite must-see, it's the ladder match. Yes, the main event was very good, but it was so typical of the company's main event style at the time that it didn't really stand out among the many others like it.


1999 events reviewed so far
Other WWE No Mercy events
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