Mega Powers Running Wild!

The legendary 'Macho man' Randy Savage teams up with 'The Immortal' Hulk Hogan to take on Ted Dibiase and Andre The Giant in the first ever WWF Summerslam!

Shawn Micahels vs. Mankind

The Heartbreak Kid defends the WWF Championship against Mankind in a thrilling main event at WWF In Your House: Mind Games.

The Birth of the nWo

From Hulk Hogan's shocking turn at WCW Bash at the Beach 1996 to the addition of Ted Dibiase, THe Giant Syxx and more, relive the very beginning of the New World Order.

Austin 3:16 Says I Just Kicked Your Ass

It's one of the most famous promos of all time; Stone Cold Steve Austin wins the 1996 King of The Ring and serves notice on all the WWF superstars. Check it out in our complete review

Wrestlemania 12 Review

The boyhood dream comes true as Shawn Michaels battles champion Bret 'The Hitman' Hart in a classic 1-hour iron man match. Plus, Diesel vs. Undertaker and more.

WCW Fall Brawl 1996 Review

Was Sting in cahoots with the New World Order? Would Lex Luger be able to get along with the Four Horsemen as they faced the nWo in War Games? Find out in this review

Showing posts with label Harley Race. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Harley Race. Show all posts

Thursday, 6 August 2020

PPV REVIEW: NWA Starrcade '83: A Flare for the Gold

NWA Starrcade 83: A Flare for the Gold Review - Event poster
November 24, 1983 
Greensboro Coliseum Complex in Greensboro, North Carolina

"Folks, we've come a long way since Ric Flair vs. Harley Race at Starrcade '83."

That was Tony Schiavone, commenting at the end of a Bunhouse Street Fight between Jeff Jarrett and the Harris Brothers and The Filthy Animals at Starrcade 2000.

That one single line sticks out to me more than anything else that happened on that show. It stuck out partly because of how bewildered and bemused by the state of then-modern pro wrestling that was evident in Schiavone's voice.

After all, he was there at the very beginning. He'd seen it all -the good, the bad, and The Yhetti. So if anyone knew how much things had changed, it was Tony.







It also stuck out to me because it made me realise that I'd never actually seen Starrcade 1983. Not once had I sat down to witness the birth of an event that would often be referred to in later years as 'WCW's answer to Wrestlemania.'

Of course, that simply wasn't true. If anything, Wrestlemania was the WWF's answer to Starrcade, an event which proceeded Vince's annual spectacle by a good two years.

Without further ado then, let's head down to the Greensborough Coliseum for the debut of the NWA/WCW's flagship event.


Starrcade 83: A Flare for the Gold

Gordon Solie and Bob Caudle host the show, but there’s no opening gambit, no video package or special welcome, just straight to the ring for our opening match.

The Assassins (w/Paul Jones) vs.  NWA Mid-Atlantic Champion Rufus R. Jones & Bugsy McGraw.

NWA Starrcade 83: A Flare for the Gold - The Assasins beat on Rufus R. Jones
If you ever find yourself in a pro wrestling trivia contest and are asked to name the participants of the first-ever Starrcade match, don’t feel too bad if you don’t remember it.

After all, there was nothing particularly memorable about tonight’s opening contest.

Sure,  NWA Mid-Atlantic Champion Rufus R. Jones and Bugsy McGraw were entertaining in their own unique way, throwing their arms around a lot and doing the whole ‘crazy babyface’ thing, but much of the actual action was nothing to write home about.

After minutes, the masked Assassins pulled a switch-a-roo to score a win that this writer did not see coming.
Your Winners: The Assasins

After the official welcome from Caudle and Solie, we went backstage to a fresh-faced Tony Schiavone. One thing I will say, I love how Solie pronounced Tony’s name as Sch-Phoney.

NWA Starrcade 83: A Flare for the Gold - Tony Schiavone hangs out backstage as Roddy Piper talks to Ric Flair and Mark Youngblood
Anyway, out in the back, the NWA/WCW mainstay told us that tonight he would be conducting exclusive backstage interviews from inside the locker room, something Schiavone claimed was a first in pro wrestling.

Whether it was or not, I couldn’t say, but I did enjoy this segment. As the company’s future lead announcer spoke, we saw Ric Flair and Rowdy Roddy Piper talking in the background.

At one point, Charlie Brown from Outa Town (Jimmy Valiant in a mask) walked by and then Ricky Steamboat came up to say hi to Flair and Piper, all showing us that the wrestlers -at least the babyfaces- all shared one dressing room.

If you ask me, that was far more realistic than pretending every wrestler had his own dressing room like the major companies would eventually do.

Johnny Weaver & Scott McGhee vs. Kevin Sullivan & Mark Lewin (w/Gary Hart)

NWA Starrcade 83: A Flare for the Gold - Johnny Weaver & Scott McGhee vs. Kevin Sullivan & Mark Lewin (w/Gary Hart)
Our second tag match of the evening was a decent contest but again, not something that anybody would remember or be in any hurry to rush out and see.

Scott McGhee played face-in-peril for a while before finally making the hot tag to Johnny Weaver, but neither man was any match for Kevin Sullivan and Mark Lewin on this night.

The nefarious heels used multiple quick tags to get the better of their opponents before picking up the win with - of all things- a flying knee to the arm courtesy of Mark Lewin.

Well, come on, it was 1983.
Your Winners: Kevin Sullivan & Mark Lewin

Post-match, Garry Hart gave his men some kind of spike that Sullivan and Lewin used to stab McGhee in the face multiple times until he bled like the proverbial stuck pig.

Angelo Mosca eventually made the save, but the damage had already been done.  After a brief struggle, Mosca sent the heels packing then lifted McGhee over his shoulder and carried him out of the arena like a baby.

Harley Has Done his Homework

NWA Starrcade 83: A Flare for the Gold - Tony Schiavone interviews Harley Race, with Greg Valentine and Gerry Brisco
Somewhere on the front row, Barbara Clary interviewed a family of fans who were all excited to see Ric Flair win his match with Harley Race later on in the show.

Meanwhile, out in the back, Tony Schiavone had words with the World Heavyweight Champion himself. Flanked by US champion Greg Valentine and tag team champions The Briscos, Race took his time and cut a deliberate, almost sinister promo in which he claimed to have spoken to people who knew his opponent well and had learned everything he needed to know about Flair's flaws and weaknesses.

Carlos Colon vs. Abdullah The Butcher

The announcers told us that this match had been banned in Puerto Rico, presumedly for being too violent.

To be honest, there wasn't much to this match. I've never really seen the appeal in Abdullah The Butcher and this did little to change my mind.

NWA Starrcade 83: A Flare for the Gold - Carlos Calon attacks Abdullah the Butcher
Early on, Abby got Carlos Colon in the corner and discretely stabbed him with an International Object out of view of the referee.

A little while later, Colon managed to seize control of the object and stab The Butcher repeatedly with it. It was done in such a way that we were supposed to believe he was hiding the weapon, but the referee had to be a blind idiot not to see it.

Eventually, the official got knocked down by Carlos and inadvertently squashed by Abby. Colon applied a figure four, but future WWF Spanish Commentator Hugo Savinovich ran in and hit him in the head with something.

One three-count from a groggy official later and this was all wrapped up.

As I say, there wasn't much to this match and I can't really rate it all that highly, but to give them their credit, something these two did really got the crowd fired up.
Your Winner: Abdullah The Butcher

NWA Starrcade 83: A Flare for the Gold - Angelo Mosca cuts an angry promo about Kevin Sullivan and Mark Lewin
Backstage, Angelo Mosca was nursing a wound he suffered while rescuing Scott McGhee from the hands of Kevin Sullivan & Mark Lewin.

With a battered, bloody McGhee slumped by his side and looking like he might die at any moment, Mosca cut an impassioned promo in which he scolded Lewin and declared that even if he had only one arm, he'd still be on hand to referee tonight's tag team championship match.

Out in the crowd, Barbara Clary interviewed two young women with awesome 80s haircuts. Both girls were looking forward to seeing Ric Flair take the title later on in the show.

Dick Slater & Bob Orton Jr. vs. Wahoo McDaniel and Mark Youngblood

If you like tag team matches, this is the show for you. We're currently on three tag matches out of four matches total, and there's at least one more to follow in the form of the tag team title match.

NWA Starrcade 83: A Flare for the Gold - Wahoo McDaniel & Mark Youngblood faced Dick Slater and Bob Orton Jr.
Fortunately, this one was far superior to the other two and proved to be highly enjoyable from beginning to end.

Not from the very beginning, you understand - at the very beginning, the ring announcer decided that this was the most appropriate time to tell us that Dusty Rhodes was in the house, but his mic cut out so it was all kinds of awkward and weird.

But after that, the two teams went at it in a really solid bout.

Mark Youngblood did almost all of the work for his team, throwing dropkicks around like candy and playing face-in-peril before making the crowd-popping hot tag to Wahoo McDaniel.

Alas, his efforts were for nought.

Dick Slater and Bob Orton Jr. -both of whom looked awesome throughout this match- got the win when Orton drilled Youngblood with a second-rope superplex.
Your Winners: Dick Slater & Bob Orton Jr.

Afterwards, Slater and Orton took turns attacking McDaniel's arm like the dastardly heels that they were.

Flair is Ready for Race

NWA Starrcade 83: A Flare for the Gold - Ric Flair chats to Jay Youngblood and Ricky Steamboat backstage
Backstage, a sombre Ric Flair told Tony Sch-Phoney that he was ready for Harley Race before wishing his friends, Jay Youngblood and Ricky Steamboat, luck in their upcoming tag team title match.

In response, Jay Youngblood mumbled his way through an ill-advised promo in which he talked about training with Flair at Steamboat's gym.

This was not good at all.

Dusty Rhodes Says it All...


...well, at least he tried to.

Out in the crowd, Barbara Clarey attempted an interview with The American Dream only for the show to suffer audio difficulties once again.

Dusty didn’t care one bit that nobody could hear him. He went off on what looked like a very impassioned promo, but honestly, you couldn’t hear a word of it.

‘Dusty Rhodes said it all there,’ said Sollie said with a level of sincerity that made the whole thing hilarious before adding... 'well, if you can read his lips, you can tell what he’s saying’

Title vs. Mask Match for the National Wrestling Alliance World Television Championship
NWA World TV Champion The Great Kabuki (w/ Garry Hart) vs. Charlie Brown

True story:

NWA Starrcade 83: A Flare for the Gold - The Great Kabuki defended the TV title against Charlie Brown
Once upon a time in the early 90s, I found an old VHS tape on a market stall that featured a few NWA matches. Many years later, the only wrestler I remember being on that tape besides Ric Flair was Charlie Brown from Outa Town.

If you’re not familiar with Brown, he was better known as Jimmy Valiant doing a Masked Rider/Mr America ‘everybody-knows-who-I-really-am-but-I’m-denying-it’ gimmick.

The story was that The Great Kabuki’s manager, Gary Hart wanted to prove that Brown was Valiant, so he put Kabuki’s TV title on the line against Brown’s mask for the first fifteen minutes of the scheduled sixty-minute time limit.

The actual match was pretty captivating in a way that you don’t see all that much of these days.

The challenger spent the first half of the match applying sleeper holds to the champion. Every time he did, Gordon Solie would remind us how ironic this was because the sleeper was invented in Kabuki’s home country of Japan.

In the second half of the match, the man from the Orient clamped a claw on his masked nemesis and held it there for as long as possible.

Nothing much happened, but both the competitors and the announcers sold each hold like it meant something important, and that was enough to get this fan fully invested.

After a decent contest, Charlie Brown from Outta Town hit a basic elbow drop on the legendary Great Kabuki to capture the TV title.

Ah, the 80s. Such a simpler time.
Your Winner and NEW TV Champion: Charlie Brown

Cutting to the announcers, Bob Caudle interviewed some guy from the radio who I’m pretty sure they said was called Dude Walker.

Dude Walker. Seriously.

Anyway, like everyone else on the show, the dude abided by the script and told us he was sure Ric Flair would win, though Sollie was adamant that we couldn’t count out Harley Race just yet.

After all, said Sollie, he was the only man in history to be a seven-time world champion.

Meanwhile, Flair was only a two-time world champion. What a chump.

Race Reveals His Game Plan

NWA Starrcade 83: A Flare for the Gold - Tony Schiavone hangs out with Harley Race, Bob Orton, and Dick Slater
Out in the back, Tony Schiavone interviewed Dick Slater, Bob Orton, and Harley Race.

Slater and Orton bragged about previously taking Flair out on orders of the champion, but now that the Nature Boy was at Starrcade, Race revealed that he was gunning for the champion’s neck.

I don’t know about you, but I would’ve kept that information to myself so that my opponent didn’t have time to plan a defence, though I’m not a seven-time champion so what do I know?

Rhodes Wants the Winner

Elsewhere, they tried again with Barbara Clarey interviewing Dusty Rhodes and this time got a better result.

In a short promo, the ever-charismatic ‘Dream predicted a win for Race and declared that he was coming after the champ’s title once Starrcade was over.

Dog Collar Match
NWA US Champion Greg Valentine vs. Roddy Piper

NWA Starrcade 83: A Flare for the Gold - Greg Valentine hurts Roddy Piper in their classic Dog Collar Match
There’s a reason why this match is so legendary:

It was really, really good.

You know how some matches look a bit too polished with spots which, though they look impressive, are clearly well-choreographed?

This wasn’t one of those matches.

This was two men who hated each other battering one another to a bloody pulp until neither one could stand.

It was violent, it was brutal, and the creative use of the chain linking the two dog collars made it all the more engrossing.

By far the best match on the card up to this point, this one came to an end when Piper smashed his opponent’s face in and got the three count.
Your Winner: Roddy Piper

Afterwards, Valentine avenged his loss by beating Piper senseless. At least he kept his belt as this was a non-title match.

Flair is Ready

NWA Starrcade 83: A Flare for the Gold - Another Ric Flair promo, this time with Wahoo McDaniel
Backstage, we got another interview with Ric Flair because why not?

I get that they were going all out to make the main event a big deal, but two promos a piece from champ and challenger seemed excessive, especially when neither man had much to add in their second segment.

To be fair to Flair (TM Bobby Heenan), he did address a beat-up Wahoo McDaniel who was sitting next to him and thanked Daniel for helping get him ready for tonight because, if you didn’t already know, he really was ready.

Out in the crowd, Barbara Clary interviewed former tag team champion, Don Kernodle, for his tights on the upcoming tag team title match.

Kernodle also predicted a win for Flair.

National Wrestling Alliance World Tag Team Championship
NWA World Tag Team Champions Jack & Gerry Brisco vs. Ricky Steamboat & Jay Youngblood

Special Referee: Angelo Mosca

NWA Starrcade 83: A Flare for the Gold - Jack Brisco takes down Ricky Steamboat
If you’re only familiar with Gerald Brisco as a figure of fun from the Attitude Era, this one might surprise you.

He and his brother Jack Brisco were great wrestlers who put on an absolutely excellent tag team title match with Steamboat and Youngblood.

I know I complained earlier about there being too many tag team matches on the show, but honestly, when they’re this good, it’s not a chore at all.

No frills, no fancy gimmicks, just a solid back-and-forth wrestling match that ended with a win for Youngblood and Steamboat.

Very good indeed.
Your Winners and NEW Tag Team Champions: Ricky Steamboat & Jay Youngblood

Post-match, the booking committee once again ran the heel-attacks-the-face angle they’d run after like 80% of tonight’s matches.

This time, however, the good guys prevailed and proceeded to indulge in a lengthy celebration with their newly-won titles.

As the champs paraded through the crowd, the credits came up on the screen with Gordon Sollie trying in earnest to put over each member of the production crew.

It was kind of sweet, but also strangely very funny.

Of interest, one of the cameramen listed was none other than future WCW Head of Security, Doug Dellinger.

A Word With the Victors

NWA Starrcade 83: A Flare for the Gold - Tony Schiavone interviews new TV Champion, Charlie Brown From Outta Town
Out in the back, Nature Boy Ric Flair paced up and down while Schiavone interviewed some of tonight’s winners.

First up, Charlie Brown raved like a wild loon about how good it was to be the new TV champion.

In a complete contrast in tone, Piper then talked about Greg Valentine busting up his ear before challenging Valentine for the US title.

Finally, Youngblood and Steamboat addressed their unprecedented (for the time) fifth tag team championship reign.

Jay Youngblood had way more charisma than his brother Mark, cutting a convincing promo about his and Steamboat’s success.

He was even more charismatic than Steamboat himself, who tried his best to inject a little passion into his speech about competing with the best in the world and coming out on top.

Hey Look, It's Dusty Again

NWA Starrcade 83: A Flare for the Gold - Barbara Clary interviews Dusty Rhodes with some fans
I don't have too many legitimate complaints about Starrcade '83, but this insistence on constantly interviewing the same guys was getting pretty old.

Race had two promos, Flair had two promos, and now Rhodes had three promos and he wasn't even booked in a match.

This time, Barbara Clary interviewed him while he hung out with three girls who predicted that Flair (who else?) would take home the gold. After that, Dusty cut another promo in which he excitedly said his own name a lot and not much else.

Look, I love 'Dream as much as the next fan, but this was unnecessary.

After that, a performer called James 'Tiny' Weeks sang the National Anthem.

Steel Cage Match National Wrestling Alliance World Heavyweight Championship
NWA World Heavyweight Champion Harley Race vs. Nature Boy Ric Flair

Though it looked slow compared to the modern fast-paced-workrate-rules-all style of pro wrestling and featured none of the insane spots you'd probably find in a cage match today, this was a classic old-school battle which more than deserves its legendary status.

NWA Starrcade 83: A Flare for the Gold - Ric Flair battles Harley Race in their classic cage match
After some grand entrances that made this one stand out as a really huge deal, and after both men received a somewhat overly long address from the referee and former world champion Gene Kiniski, champ and challenger went at it in an intense, bloody war for the ages.

Flair started off wrestling methodically, taking the champion to the mat and attempting to wear him down. Reversing a front face lock into a suplex (or *suplé* if you're Gordon Sollie), Race then took control and stayed true to his word, beating down on his opponent's neck with brute force.

What followed was a brilliant seesaw battle in which both men got progressively more violent as time ticked on.

Of course, given that the whole show was built around Flair as the hero, the outcome was never really in question, but it sure was a joy to watch it unfold.

After an excellent match, Flair scaled the top rope and hit Race with a crossbody block. Referee Kiniski had taken a tumble and was on all fours, waiting for Flair to knock Race and Race to go tumbling over him, school-boy style. However, somebody was out of position so it didn't quite come off right, but it still led to the cover, the count, and the fall.

I'm not certain, but I wonder if that's the only time Flair has gone to the top and not been immediately thrown off. Still, given that it earned him a world title in one of his most legendary matches, it's no wonder Nature Boy would spend the rest of his career trying to hit that move again.
Your Winner and NEW World Heavyweight Champion: Ric Flair

Post-match, the babyface locker room spilt out into the ring to lift Flair on their shoulders and celebrate with the new champion as a defeated Harley Race looked on in shock and frustration.

After a kiss from his wife, Flair took to the microphone to address the crowd and thank them for their support.

Usually, this is where a show would end, but this was the NWA in 1983, so we got another ten minutes of promos.

First, we went to the back, where Ricky Steamboat congratulated the new champion. Flair was grateful for Steamboat helping him train and promised that if Ricky ever needed anything, he'd be there. It was interesting watching these two be such close friends after reviewing the epic battle they'd have at Wrestlewar '89 a few years later.

Dusty Rhodes then arrived on the scene and warned Flair that he was coming after his title. Unperturbed, Nature Boy insisted that he wasn't going to worry about that right now, and was only focussed on celebrating his big victory.

Then, after a lengthy summary from the announcers, we went to Harly Race's dressing room. With Barbara Clary holding the mic, the fallen champion insisted that despite losing the title, he wasn't going away.

Funnily enough, that's exactly what he did. Race would leave for the AWA the following year before showing up in the WWF in 1986 so that he could pretend to be a king and have that ridiculous brawl with Hacksaw Jim Duggan at the 37th Annual Slammy Awards.

Still, at the time, Harley insisted that he was gunning for his eighth world title and told the new champion to enjoy it while it lasted.

After more chatter from Caudle and Sollie, we went back to the babyface locker room once again were two funny things happened.

1: Flair said that tonight wasn't just about him, but was about people like "Roddy Piper Jimmy Valiant, and everyone who participated in this event" - thus blowing Valiant's 'Charlie Brown' cover.

2: The babyfaces had a champagne celebration. In the background, Jay Youngblood clearly got some champagne in his eye or had some other unfortunate incident and was seen stumbling around and having a bad time. I can't tell you why, but I found that hysterical.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the first-ever Starrcade, a great show that was a far cry from the last event some 17 years later.







I mean that, too.

Although the first half of the show was nothing too special, the last three matches alone make Starrcade 83: A Flare for the Gold must-see viewing.

It's a testament to Piper and Valentine that in an age when we've seen just about every act of violence and creative spot under the sun, their barbaric and bloody dog collar match remains as compelling today as it ever did.

The tag team title match was a pure joy to watch, featuring some of the crispest, solid wrestling you're likely to come across.

Then, there's the main event. Often regarded as a passing of the proverbial torch from Race to Flair, this was an utterly gripping title match that more than earned its legacy.



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Thursday, 16 January 2020

EVENT REVIEW: WWF Slammy Awards 1987

WWF - Slammy Awards 1987 -
December 16, 1987
Caesars Atlantic City in Atlantic City, New Jersey.

Vincent Kennedy McMahon has never made a secret of the fact that when it comes to his patented brand of sports entertainment, it's the entertainment part that he's really interested in.

So it was unlikely to come as much of a surprise when, in 1986, he sent his roster of pro wrestling superstars into the music studio to record a music album, known simply as The Wrestling Album.

Nor was it overly shocking when he decided to promote that album by producing his own music awards, a parody of the Grammys known as The Slammy Awards.

That whole process worked so well that, one year later, Vince decided to it all again.

In 1987, the World Wrestling Federation released Piledriver: The Wrestling Album 2 and once again used The Slammy Awards to promote it.

This year however, they took their unique brand over-the-top entertainment to a whole new level.

Don't believe me, here's what went down at the 37th 2nd annual Slammy Awards.





Welcome to the 37th Annual Slammy Awards

WWF - Slammy Awards 1987 - The Hart Foundation arrive
No, that's not a typo. The World Wrestling Federation promoted this as the 37th Annual Slammy Awards when in actual fact it was only the second.

Why did they do this?

Presumedly to make the whole event seem bigger than it was, even though this would have meant that the first Slammy Awards took place in 1950, two years before Vince McMahon's grandfather, Jess McMahon first founded the Capitol Wrestling Corporation that would eventually become the WWF.

So, despite the inaccuracy, Howard Finkle's voice welcomed us to the 37th Annual Slammys then proceeded to show us all of tonight's star nominees arriving for this 'prestigious' event.

For some unknown reason, half the wrestlers arrived in ambulances, though Bam Bam Bigelow did pull up in a pretty cool looking roadster and George 'The Animal' Steele hilariously turned on a pushbike.

Most of the guys were wearing tuxedos, but Bam Bam Bigelow and Ultimate Warrior simply wore their wrestling attire.

For Warrior, that meant turning up for what was essentially a black-tie event in his underpants.

The Traditional Home of The Slammy Awards

WWF - Slammy Awards 1987 - Vince McMahon cut an impassioned intro
Keeping up the pretense, Vince McMahon walked out on stage to open up the show by welcoming us to the arena.

This wasn't just any arena. According to McMahon, this was 'The Traditional Home of The Slammys.'

Again, I'll remind you that there had only been one other Slammy Awards event before this one, and it took place in an entirely different venue in an entirely different state.

Clearly getting carried away with himself, McMahon called the event 'a joyous celebration of the human potential' and -I kid you not- 'A LOVE FEST OF MUTUAL ADMIRATION AND SUPPORT!'

Vince wasn't kidding, either. He looked deadly serious as he said all this, at times coming across like a religious preacher.

It was hilarious.

Giving you just enough time to stop laughing, McMahon next introduced our hosts for the evening, Mean Gene Okerlund and Jesse 'The Body' Ventura.

The WWF Academy of Sports and Sciences

WWF - Slammy Awards 1987 - Jesse 'The Body' Ventura and Mean Gene Okerlund
Ventura and Okerlund's first job was to introduce the man who had apparently collected and tallied all the votes for tonight's event, Jack Tunney.

We all know that Tunney was the WWF President, but did you know that his official title was 'President of World Wrestling Federation Academy of Sports and Sciences?'

Yes, that does give you the acronym 'WWF ASS.'

Of course, this was all a set up so that Mean Gene could say "ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce Jack Ass. I mean, Jack Tunney."

It was a lame joke, but it could have been worse.

He could have called Tunney a JOCK ASS!

Tunney walked out on stage, waving and smiling to a crowd who were clearly booing him, then walked off again. It was funny, in a random and unintentional sort of way.

Moving on, Jesse left the stage to go and get ready for something else, leaving Mean Gene to announce the first award.

Best Performance by an Animal

WWF - Slammy Awards 1987 - George Steele won 'Best Peformance by an Animal'
'Now, historically, this category has been the springboard to even greater achievements' said Mean Gene, somehow managing to keep a straight face.

The nominees were:
  • Damien, with Jake 'The Snake' Roberts
  • Frankie, with Koko B. Ware
  • Matilda, with The British Bulldogs
  • George 'The Animal' Steele.
In a moment of unplanned madness, Matilda tried to attack Frankie. Apparently, nobody questioned the judgment of placing both animals so close to one another.

'And now, the moment that animals performing all over the world have been waiting for,' said Okerlund. 'The Winner, is George 'The Animal' Steele.'

Keeping the level of absolute ridiculousness at an all-time high, Steele got lost on his way to the stage and had to be shown the way by Hillbilly Jim.

In lieu of an actual acceptance speech, The Animal simply ripped the turnbuckle off the host's podium (which had been designed to look like the corner of a pro wrestling ring), then chased off the girl who had brought his Slammy award out for him.

Honky Tonk Man Sings


Forget Michaels/Taker, Flair/Steamboat, or R-Truth's 'My Bad' moment, this was the single greatest thing to ever happen in pro wrestling.

I mean, OK, it really wasn't, but it was so over-the-top that I couldn't help but enjoy it.

With Jimmy Hart sitting in a Cadillac, clapping along in the background and Jesse Ventura on the keys, Honky Tonk Man shook, rattled, and rolled his way through a fun rendition of his theme song, complete with dancers, backing singers, and a hysterical cameo from The Hart Foundation.

Seriously, you've not seen funny until you've seen Bret 'The Hitman' Hart and Jim 'The Anvil' Neidhart getting jiggy with it.

Woman of the Year

WWF - Slammy Awards 1987 - Miss Elizabeth won Woman of the Year
Honky and Jimmy Hart were on double duty tonight, presenting our next award for Woman of the Year.

Jimmy came out solo and insisted that Honky Tonk Man wouldn't set foot on the stage until he'd received a proper introduction, even though we'd just seen him on stage a few moments earlier.

Okerlund obliged anyway, introducing The Greatest Intercontinental Champion of All Time back to the stage.

The nominees were:
  • Sensational Sherri
  • Dolly Parton
  • The Fabulous Moolah
  • Yoko Ono
  • Elizabeth
Dolly Parton and Yoko Onoo were represented by actresses who looked nothing like either woman. Not that it mattered anyway, Elizabeth was the obvious winner, but before she could make her acceptance speech, Macho Man Randy Savage had to run on stage and save her from the advances of The Honky Tonk Man.

"I'd like to thank you all very much," she said sweetly. "But I'd especially like to thank the man who made me the woman I am today, the Macho Man Randy Savage."

Best Ring Apparel

WWF - Slammy Awards 1987 - Demolition looking awesome
Savage would make another appearance in the next category as he was nominated for 'best ring apparel.'

The award was presented by Hacksaw Jim Duggan who, proving he knew a thing or two about fashion, forwent the traditional tuxedo in favor of a t-shirt with a tuxedo print on it.

The 1988 Royal Rumble Winner did at least bring a touch of class to proceedings by sticking a bow-tie on his trusty 2x4.

The nominees in this category were:
  • Demolition
  • Macho Man Randy Savage
  • Honky Tonk Man
  • King Harley Race
  • The British Bulldogs
Brilliantly, Ax and Smash wore their wrestling attire with a collar and bow-tie. I won't lie, it looked kinda cool.

King Harley Race was declared the winner, but Duggan was so incensed by this that he refused to announce it. Instead, he had the pretty young model who was holding the Slammy Award do it for him.

"And the winner is...King Harley Race?" she said in a fashion which suggested she'd never heard of him and wasn't sure if she was pronouncing his name correctly.

Race's manager, Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan accompanied him to the stage and declared that The King could only accept the award if it was properly presented to him.

The Brain tried to get Hacksaw to drop to one knee in order to offer up the award. When he refused, Race attacked him.

What is a Donkey Doing at the Slammy Awards?

WWF - Slammy Awards 1987 - Donkey Doug Yo!
The two fought their way into the dressing room for a wild and thoroughly enjoyable brawl reminiscent of the kind of backstage hardcore matches we'd see 12 years later in the Attitude Era.

Gorilla Monsoon popped up to provide commentary for the whole fight, calling the action while at the same time expressing his absolute bewilderment that a random donkey and some chickens were hanging out backstage.

The whole thing ended when Race, now down to his wrestling trunks and shirt, tried to hit Duggan with a flying splash but instead crashed through a table in what was probably the first instance of this spot ever happening on a WWF show.

The whole thing was brilliantly good fun in a wacky, over-the-top kind of way.

Vince McMahon Performs Stand Back

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it's the moment you've all been waiting for.

Or, as Jesse Ventura put it in his introduction.

"And now, a man who has repeatedly proven that he can't talk, and will prove that he can't sing, either."



Vince McMahon took to the stage to strut his funky stuff and sing 'Stand Back,' in a performance which, ten years later, would famously be ridiculed by D-Generation-X.

One often overlooked part of this performance is that McMahon wasn't alone.

Along with his backing dancers, the WWF Chairman also had an ensemble of pro wrestlers behind him.

Fresh from his Metallica audition, The Immortal Hulk Hogan stood tall and proud, slapping the bass like a mother. He was surrounded by a horn section comprised of Junkyard Dog, The Killer Bees, Macho Man Randy Savage, Brutus Beefcake and Jake 'The Snake' Roberts.

George Steele was there too, playing a tambourine of course.

Like just about everything on this show, McMahon's performance was glorious...in an absolutely ridiculous sort of way. The Chairman held nothing back, singing his heart out and throwing himself through the choreographed routine with commendable gusto.

I don't care if DX mocked him, if I were Vinny Mac, I'd be rightly proud of that performance.

Wait, a Llama?

Backstage, the Hacksaw/Race brawl continued with Monsoon standing by, calling the action.

Obviously, a random llama walked by, because why wouldn't it?

Then Race and Heenan managed to lock Duggan inside some kind of mesh cage. Duggan shook at the cage wall, trying to get out. The cage easily opened so that Duggan could have just pushed through it, but that would have ruined the whole storyline, so he just had to pretend like he was still trapped and instead managed to push a tower of empty cardboard boxes onto his rivals.

The Hulk Hogan Real American Award

WWF - Slammy Awards 1987 - Superstar Billy Graham won the Hulk Hogan Real American award
Up next, Hulk Hogan made his way through the crowd to the stage, accompanied by a small group of rent-a-cops who were about half his size.

I mean, seriously, if somebody did try to attack Hogan, what were these short, flabby dudes going to do exactly?

Anyway, The Hulkster made his way to the stage to present The Hulk Hogan Real American Award to a man he said embodied the things that made a Real American like integrity and perseverance in the face of adversity:

Superstar Billy Graham.

Decked out in a salmon suit with enormous earrings in both ears, Graham used a walking cane to help him get up onto the stage. There, he used his acceptance speech to put over Hogan.

Repaying the kind words, Hulk took Graham's walking cane and snapped it over his knee before encouraging the legendary grappler to pose with him.

You have to hope that cane was a gimmick, otherwise, that was a bit of a dick move by the WWF Champion.

The Christmas Party is Ruined

Backstage, Hacksaw and Harley battled into a room that had been reserved for the cast of tonight's show to enjoy a celebratory Christmas party. No random animals popped up this time, though Hacksaw did blast Heenan over the head with a giant fish which was pretty funny.

The Jesse The Body Award

WWF - Slammy Awards 1987 - Mean Gene covers up Rick Rude
Up next, Jesse Ventura presented an award named after him to the person he declared to have the best body.

The nominees were:

  • Ravishing Rick Rude
  • The Natural Butch Reed
  • The Ultimate Warrior
  • Sensational Sherri
  • Hercules.

Ravishing Rick Rude was declared the winner. Clearly having the time of his life, Rude strutted onto the stage and stripped off to his undies.

He then started to take his undies off too, but Mean Gene ran on stage and put a towel in front of him.

Interestingly, despite the fact that he'd run out to stop Rude from showing his junk, Okerlund couldn't stop looking at it. As Rude took his pants all the way off, Gene continually stared at what was going on behind the towel.

I suppose this shouldn't come as much of a surprise.

A few months later, at Wrestlemania 4, Gene would literally point at Brutus Beefcake's groin and yell "What a package!"

Rude eventually made his way to the podium, where he thanked Jesse and the millions of women around the world who worshipped him. In true Rick Rude fashion, he then draped his arm around the girl holding the Slammy and walked off with her.

Hit Me With Your Best Shot

"When I say 'Greatest Tits' you probably think of Jesse The Body," said Ventura.

Of course, he meant "Greatest Hits," but I'm telling you, he definitely said "tits."

The point of all this was to introduce a video package in which clips of various wrestlers hitting a bunch of moves, all set to the song 'Hit Me With Your Best Shot' by Pat Benatar.

The Greatest Hit Award

WWF - Slammy Awards 1987 - Hacksaw Jim Duggan won the 'Greatest Hit' award - tough guy!
This video package was to set up our next award, for the 'Greatest Hit' or in other words - the best attack/wrestling move.

The nominees were:

  • Andre The Giant (for throwing Hulk Hogan out of a battle royal)
  • Hacksaw Jim Duggan (for drilling Harley Race with a 2x4)
  • The Honky Tonk Man (for smashing Randy Savage with a guitar)
  • Strike Force (for beating up Hart Foundation)
  • Bam Bam Bigelow (for hitting a sweet slingshot splash)

Before the nominees could be read out, however, Duggan and Race burst onto the stage for some more fighting.

Gorilla Monsoon held Duggan back, giving Race and Heenan a chance to escape, but then Duggan was back a moment later as he was declared the winner of the award.

Duggan's acceptance speech was short and simple:

"HOOOOOO!"

Manager of the Year Award

WWF - Slammy Awards 1987 - Manager of the Year Award
After a commercial break, Monsoon presented the award for Manager of the Year, an award he said would go to a man who has improved his wrestler's career the most while displaying sportsmanship.

The nominees were:

  • Slick
  • Jimmy Hart
  • Mr. Fuji
  • Bobby Heenan.
Hilariously, all four men made their way to up to the stage as though it was a given that they'd win.

As it turned out, none of them won. Monsoon announced the winner to be "None of the Above."

Get it?

Because all the heels were so terrible that none of them deserved it!

Naturally, this caused much outrage among the wrestlers.

Koko B. Ware Performs Piledriver

WWF - Slammy Awards 1987 - Ultimate Warrior performed as Koko B. Ware's backup dancer
Another nominee for 'Song of the Year' saw Koko B. Ware performing the lead track from Piledriver: The Wrestling Album 2.

Koko was joined on stage by a saxophone-playing Bam Bam Bigelow and a bunch of wrestlers including Hillbilly Jim, Davey Boy Smith, and The Ultimate Warrior all dressed up as construction workers.

It's a shame that I couldn't find a video of this, because you've honestly never seen a man look so uncomfortable as Jim Hellwig strutting around on stage in a hard hat, pretending to have a good time.

Best Personal Hygiene Award

Returning from commercial, Mean Gene was up to present what he called 'the oldest and most prestigious' award for best personal hygiene.

The nominees were:

  • Sika (for his table manners)
  • Hillbilly Jim (for creating a new cologne out of pig swill)
  • George Steel (for "his tidiness in and around the ring")
  • Nikolai Volkoff, Boris Zuchoff and Slick (for sharing a toothbrush)
  • King Kong Bundy (for doing a smelly turd, seriously).

Volkoff, Zuchoff, and Slick won the award. Making their way to the stage, Volkoff and Zuchoff tripped over the steps and fell flat on their faces. Making a swift recovery, they flanked The Slickster, who raised the ire of the crowd by talking about how the Russians were clean and peaceful people.

Jimmy Hart Performs Girls in Cars


On the album, Robbie Dupree sang this song as Strike Force's theme song. Tonight, Jimmy Hart picked up the microphone to croon his way through it as girls on roller skates skated by with cardboard cut-outs of cars stuck to their sides.

One girl apparently couldn't roller skate, so she moved across the stage on a child's tricycle instead.

Things got weirder when Tito Santana and Rick Martel turned up on dirt bikes to steel the girls, after which a big fat woman dressed up like a school bus started to chase Jimmy Hart around the stage.

Seriously, just writing that sentence makes me question what kind of messed up drugs were floating around backstage at the Slammys.

Best Vocal Performance Award

Macho Man Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth came out to present this award, though not before the pair took a moment to put over how dapper Savage looked.

The nominees for this award were:
  • Junkyard Dog (for his growl)
  • One Man Gang (for his bellow)
  • Hacksaw Jim Duggan (for his 'howl')
  • Jimmy Hart (for his shrieking megaphone)
  • George 'The Animal' Steele (for his wail)
And the winner was:

Hacksaw Jim Duggan.

Once again, Duggan gave us a big "Hoooo!" instead of an actual acceptance speech.

The WWF Superstars perform If You Only Knew

Finally, it was down to the last performance of the evening; the entire cast of World Wrestling Federation Superstars on stage, swaying back-and-forth and clapping their hands in a performance of 'If You Only Knew.'

Some, like Dynamite Kid, looked clearly uncomfortable in the song-and-dance number, but others, like Bret Hart and Butch Reed, for example, looked to be having tremendous fun.

Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase even had a smile about him as he danced on the front row, though his bodyguard, Virgil, stood stoic, arms folded, scowling the whole time, probably wishing he were at Olive Garden.


And the Winner Is...

All the song performances throughout the show were supposed to lead us to the big reveal of the Best Song Award winner.

Yet when Mean Gene tried to announce it, Jimmy Hart stole the envelope and passed it around all the heels. It eventually ended up in the hands of Sika, who, naturally, ate it.

Jesse told Mean Gene not to worry, he could always hang out with the Wild Samoan and pick up the results the following day.

The Missing Awards

WWF - Slammy Awards 1987 - Director - Kayfabe
Apparently, there were some awards handed out which were cut from the broadcast I watched.

Ted Dibiase won the Humanitarian of the Year. One Mang Gang was the obvious winner of the 'Best Group' Award, and the Bobby "The Brain" Heenan Scholarship Award was presented to all of Heenan's wrestlers.

The was also an award for 'Best Head' presented to Bam Bam Bigelow and Mean Gene Okerlund. If you're as disappointed as I am that what was clearly a fellatio joke was cut from the broadcast, I guess there's only one person we can blame:

The show's director, Kay Fabe.





If you've never seen the 37th Annual Slammy Awards, here's the best way to describe it:

Imagine the most ridiculous thing you've ever seen in pro wrestling and multiply it by a thousand.

The Slammys was bizarre, cheesy, over-the-top, ridiculous, stupid, and gloriously, gloriously wonderful.

If you take pro wrestling seriously, you'll probably hate this. It was intended to be a comedy show, and to that end, it worked. OK, so most of the humor was low-brow, but let's be honest, wrestling isn't exactly known for being high-concept performance art, is it?

Overall, this is one of the weirdest and most fun things you'll ever see as a wrestling fan, and I highly recommend it.



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Retro Pro Wrestling

New reviews of classic WWF/WWE events recalling every moment from Wrestlemania 1 - 30. You'll also find reviews of WCW, ECW, TNA and the occasional indie event, along with a look at old school magazines, merchandise and more.