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Showing posts with label Rico. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rico. Show all posts

Thursday, 16 September 2021

EVENT REVIEW: WWE Global Warning 2002

WWE Global Warning 2002: Melbourne
August 10, 2002
Colonial Stadium, Melbourne, Australia

Look up the WWE Global Warning event on the WWE Network and it will tell you that the date of the event was November 5th, 2002. 

It wasn't. 

The actual event took place in August, in between Vengeance 2002 and that year's Summerslam.

The first WWE event in Australia since 1986 was promoted as a Smackdown branded show despite the fact that The Un-Americans, Chris Jericho, and Triple H were all now Raw superstars. 

The show featured three matches that didn't make it to the broadcast, including Mark Henry teaming with a rookie Randy Orton to face Reverand D-Von and Batista, Hardcore Holly and Chavo Guerrero battling Billy and Chuck, and Kurt Angle beating Test

We may not be able to talk about those matches today, but let's talk about the ones we can in this WWE Global Warning review: 






Welcome to Global Warning

WWE Global Warning 2002: Stephanie McMahon opened the show
After the briefest of intros with none of the usual opening video package, pyro exploded, the crowds roared, and Michael Cole and Taz welcomed us to Australia. 

This was followed by the arrival of new Smackdown General Manager, Stephanie McMahon

Steph said nothing of significance, simply welcoming fans to the show before dancing with Rikishi as he made his way to the ring for our opening contest.


Kiss My Ass Match
Rikishi vs. Rico 

You could tell this wasn't an important event because Cole and Tazz spent more time making fun of ring announcer Tony Chimmel, each other, and the size of Rikishi's ass than they did calling the action.

Not that there was much action to call. 

This was all over in pretty much no time. 'Kishi battered his former tag team partner for a few minutes, Rico made the briefest of comebacks but then missed a moonsault and got Samoan Dropped to end the match. 
Your Winner: Rikishi 

Afterwards, Big 'Kish flattened his rival in the corner then gave him the stink face to the delight of the Melbourne faithful. He then proceeded to dance with two kids from the audience, all while Taz and Cole cracked jokes.

Jamie and Nidia go Surfing

Prior to the next match, we saw a video package of Cruiserweight Champion Jamie Noble and his girlfriend Nidia learning to surf and seeing the sights of Australia. 

It looked like they had a good time, and in its own way, the video was almost cute, but it wasn't very interesting and added nothing of value. Still, at least it saved WWE the hassle of actually adding more wrestling matches to this thing.

WWE Cruiserweight Championship
WWE Cruiserweight Champion Jamie Noble (w/ Nidia) vs. The Hurricane

WWE Global Warning 2002: Hurricane vs. Jamie Noble
Although it felt like it moved at a somewhat slower pace than most cruiserweight matches, this was a lot of fun. Noble and The Hurricane combined some of the usual highflying stuff with actual strategy and more of an emphasis on entertaining the crowd.

It was plenty enjoyable, especially when Hurricane took out the champion with a huge swinging neckbreaker off the top rope. Alas, that wasn't enough to win match.

After a solid effort, Noble retained thanks to Nidia's interference and a rope-assisted pin.

All the while, Cole and Taz continued to goof off, this time turning their insults to referee Jimmy Korderas and Raw announcers JR & King.
Your Winner and Still Cruiserweight Champion: Jamie Noble

Post-match, Hurricane destroyed his rival with a chokeslam and smacked Nidia on the ass.

A Day at the Zoo


Before the next match, we got a look at the day Christian, Lance Storm, and Kurt Angle all went to the zoo in Australia. 

Kurt Angle getting offended by the Australian word "buggar" was hilarious, and the video including a shot where Angle clearly called Christian "Jay" was interesting. Everything else was mildly entertaining filler. 

WWE Tag Team Championship
WWE Tag Team Champions The Un-Americans (Lance Storm & Christian) vs. Rey Mysterio & Billy Kidman

WWE Global Warning 2002: Rey Mysterio & Billy Kidman vs. Lance Storm & Christian
And so, we had former WCW tag team champions Billy Kidman & Rey Mysterio taking on current WWE tag team champions Lance Storm and Christian. 

Mysterio had only just arrived in WCW and looked eager to prove himself, flying around the ring with gusto in what was mostly an exciting match.

I say "mostly" because there was a lull in the middle of this one, but for the most part, it was a fun encounter which almost -but not quite- delivered all the excitement you'd expect from these four talented performers.

Given that this show was kind of "non-cannon" in the same way that UK PPVs were, it came as no surprise when the tag champs retained their gold.
Your Winners and Still WWE Tag Team Champions: Lance Storm & Christian 

Edge was in action next. 

That meant that, following the pattern of the rerst of the show, we were obligated to watch him go sightseeing with Billy Kidman and Torrie Wilson. The trio went to a market where Kidman thought that a digeridoo was a walking stick, then sat down to eat dessert.

Alright then.

Chris Jericho vs. Edge 

WWE Global Warning 2002: Edge vs. Chris Jericho
Prior to the match, Chris Jericho took to the microphone to address the crowd but found himself met with a huge chorus of "You're a wanker! You're a wanker!

Of course, Cole, Taz, and Jericho all had no idea -or at least pretended to have no idea- what the word meant. As such, your British writer got a good laugh out of the announcers repeatedly using the word over and over again, and Jericho busting out "you think I'm a wanker? Well I don't even know what a wanker is, and I think Australia sucks!"

The best line, however, went to Taz. Jericho missed a move, causing the announcer to proclaim "he landed right on his wanker!

Given that this word would never make it on air if this show had been broadcast here in the UK, I found this pretty funny, but it wasn't the only thing this match had going for it.

Wanker or not, Jericho put in a solid effort against Edge here as the two gave us the best match they were capable of delivering in ten minutes. 

After a good back and forth and some dramatic nearfalls, Edge went over by reversing the Walls of Jericho into a roll-up.

The best match on the card so far.
Your Winner: Edge 

Post match, Jericho once again channeled his WCW heel turn and threw a temper tantrum before Edge climbed up a big lighting tower to celebrate. 

Fan Frenzy 

Up next, we got a look back at the WWE Fan Frenzy event. This was essentially the Axcess events, Australia style. The event looked like a lot of fun and featured Edge, Test, Stacy Keibler and Brock Lesnar, as well as a bunch of fans spouting catchphrases from their favorite performers. Good times.

Bra & Panties Match
Stacy Keibler vs. Torrie Wilson

Special Guest Ring Announcer: The Big Val Bowski

WWE Global Warning 2002: The Big Valbowski
Before the girls could lock up, The Big Valbowski came down to make a bunch of predictable jokes about going down...under. 

Stacy and Torrie then gave us every bra and panties match you've ever seen. 

I'm sure there are some people who really like these kinds of matches, but this fan isn't one of them. Yes, both girls were insatiably beautiful, and yes, they tried hard to do some actual wrestling to the best of their limited abilities, but there's nothing about bra and panties matches that holds any appeal. 

They even did the predictable spot where the two girls start catfighting and end up rolling on top of the referee, though it was so poorly executed that it looked like official Mike Sparks was physically pulling the two on top of him for his own gratification.

The zebra loved it, so Stacy and Torrie pulled his pants down to expose his undies, then a few moments later Torrie stripped Stacy of her shorts to win the match.
Your Winner: Torrie Wilson

Post-match, Torrie gave Stacy a good spanking and sent her on her way.  

Charity Dinner

WWE Global Warning 2002: The Rock at a charity dinner
Prior to tonight's main event, we got a quick look back at the WWE's recent charity dinner/auction. 

The company often did these before the UK PPVs, so it wasn't much of a surprise to see it here to. 

Paintings of The Rock, Triple H, and Hulk Hogan sold for thousands of dollars to raise good money for good causes, The Rock was asked for his porno name, and by the looks of it, a good time was had by all.

With that out of the way, we still have 35 minutes left on this show which either means a really long main event, or some kind of shenanigans.

No Disqualification Match for the WWE Undisputed Championship
WWE Undisputed Champion The Rock vs. Brock Lesnar (w/ Paul Heyman) vs. Triple H

With Triple H and The Rock competing alongside the man who was certainly living up to his moniker of The Next Big Thing, this was never going to be anything less than a good match.

Was it an all-out, PPV-calibre classic? 

WWE Global Warning 2002: The Rock vs. Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar
Of course not, but as the main event for what was essentially a glorified house show, it was certainly good. 

Triple H and The Rock double-teamed Brock Lesnar in the early going but The Game switched allegiances and helped Lesnar take out The Great One.

From there, standard WWE Triple Threat formula kicked in, with the competitors taking it in turns to have a quick nap while their fellow combatants duked it out. 

Lesnar looked impressive, but it wasn't to be his night. After a good effort, The People's Champ put down The Next Big Thing to retain his title, a result which, let's be honest, was never in question.
Your Winner and Still Undisputed Champion: 

The actual match was only around 20 minutes, which still gave us 15 minutes of show time to fill, something The Rock, Triple H, and Paul Heyman did with gusto.

With Cole and Taz having signed off for the evening, Lesnar went to attack Brock with a chair, only for Hunter to stop him and help The Rock dispose of Heyman's charge once and for all. 

At this point, The Game was in the midst of an intense heel turn following his jump to Raw and fall out with best friend Shawn Michaels. Despite that, he was still very much a babyface here as he and the Undisputed Champion confronted Paul Heyman.

The former ECW boss was hilarious here as he first pleaded for his life and then clapped and cheered along as the Melbourne crowd erupted with chants of "Rocky! Rocky!"

Proving he was smart, Heyman was reluctant to shake The Rock's hand for fear that it would lead to him getting Rock Bottomed and People's Elbowed. Eventually, The Brahma Bull convinced Heyman to shake and let go without trouble, but when Paul E. shook The Game's hand, he naturally got a pedigree for his efforts.

The fun and games continued as first HHH convinced The Rock to hit Heyman with a People's Elbow, before Rock himself convinced Hunter to deliver the move he'd been on the receiving end of countless times.

Finally, Rock stood back and allowed his long-time rival a chance to bask in the adulation of the crowd then, once The Game left, the Undisputed Champion took the microphone to thank the fans and utter some catchphrases.

Honestly, that last 15 minutes of post-show shenanigans was more entertaining than anything else on the show.








The after-match stuff may have been the highlight, but that doesn't necessarily mean that WWE Global Warning was a poor show or anything. The main event was as good as you were going to get for a show at this level, while Edge vs. Jericho and the tag team championship match were also enjoyable. 

Sure, this felt like one of the many UK PPVs were nothing of any consequence happened, and sure, there was far too much "here's what the WWE Superstars did in Australia" stuff between the relatively few matches on the card, but if the goal of professional wrestling is simply to entertain, then I think it's fair to say that Global Warning 2002 achieved that goal. 

Retro Pro Wrestling

New reviews of classic WWF/WWE events recalling every moment from Wrestlemania 1 - 30. You'll also find reviews of WCW, ECW, TNA and the occasional indie event, along with a look at old school magazines, merchandise and more.