The legendary 'Macho man' Randy Savage teams up with 'The Immortal' Hulk Hogan to take on Ted Dibiase and Andre The Giant in the first ever WWF Summerslam!
From Hulk Hogan's shocking turn at WCW Bash at the Beach 1996 to the addition of Ted Dibiase, THe Giant Syxx and more, relive the very beginning of the New World Order.
It's one of the most famous promos of all time; Stone Cold Steve Austin wins the 1996 King of The Ring and serves notice on all the WWF superstars. Check it out in our complete review
The boyhood dream comes true as Shawn Michaels battles champion Bret 'The Hitman' Hart in a classic 1-hour iron man match. Plus, Diesel vs. Undertaker and more.
Was Sting in cahoots with the New World Order? Would Lex Luger be able to get along with the Four Horsemen as they faced the nWo in War Games? Find out in this review
Celebrities equal ratings, apparently. That’s why Seth Green (you know, does the voice of Chris in Family Guy, was in Austin Powers and Buffy) is tonight’s special guest host of World Wrestling Entertainment’s flagship programme, Raw.
Was he any good? Meh..See for yourself.
A Joke with the Robot Chicken Bloke
Triple H begins tonight show in a jovial mood, bringing us up to speed with the whole Trump/McMahon saga and the addition of weekly guest hosts. Cue Seth Green, who immediately makes his mark by booking a Six Diva Swimsuit Summer Spectacular for tonight’s show.
Together, Green and Trippers proceed to promote Green’s new Robot Chicken show (never seen Robot Chicken? Don’t bother, it’s not as good as it thinks it is) then turn their attention to calling Randy Orton a big girl’s blouse. Of course, this upsets Randy Orton and the WWE Champion comes out for all the usual banter.
The point of all this, apparently, is to set up tonight’s main event.
It’s going to be Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase taking on the team of Triple H, John Cena and…Seth Green.
Kill me now.
Six Diva Swimsuit Summer Spectacular: Mickie James, Kelly Kelly & Gail Kim vs. Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendez & Maryse
Swimsuit Summer Spectacular? Yeah, it’s just a tag match in swimming costumes And not a terrific match at that. Then again, diva bouts are rarely show-stealing stuff and this in that respect this one is reasonably acceptable.
Divas champion Maryse planted Mickie James with a DDT to win the match for her team in under four minutes. Your Winners: Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendez & Maryse
In the back, Chris Jericho pays a visit to Seth Green. The Ayatollah of Rock ‘n’ Rolla chastises tonight’s host for that Robot Chicken Star Wars thing and warns Green to stay out of his way. Utterly pointless, but the Big ‘E probably paid big bucks for Seth and want to get their money’s worth by giving him as much screen time as possible I reckon.
Primo vs. The Miz
You remember reading in my report from last week how Carlito attacked his brother and turned heel on him? Of course you don’t, because that report went missing and never found its way onto the website.
Anyway yeah, so to establish himself as a solo star, Primo got himself some new threads and new theme music. He calls out his brother but gets The Miz instead.
Miz taunts Primo then proceeds to kick his bum all over the ring. Primo fights back, Carlito pops up to cause the distraction and the Slammy award-winning Miz wins this one. Your Winner: The Miz
Afterwards, Carlito beats on his brother a little bit.
Edge is Injured
Yes folks, if you haven’t been keeping up with all the Internet goss this week you probably won’t have heard that one half of unified tag team champions, The Rated R Superstar Edge, got himself injured at a recent live event. According to Cole and Lawler, we’ll have an update on that situation later in the show.
A Match for the Ages
For now though, we’ve got more Seth Shenanigans as he books an epic rematch...Hogan/Savage? Nope. Flair/Steamboat? Nope. 123 Kid/Razor Ramon? Wrong again.
We’re getting Chavo Guerrero vs. Hornswoggle. But not yet.
Hornswoggle leaves and Big Show arrives. Apparently, Green wanted some advice from Show on how to survive in his tag match alter tonight (why he didn’t ask the two guys he’s tagging with is beyond me, but what the hey; since when did pro wrestling ever make sense?). Show says to watch his match against Evan Bourne, then wraps things up with an utterly cringe-worthy Dr. Evil impression.
MVP VS. Jack Swagger
In what is easily the best wrestling match on the card so far, Swagger and Porter put on a good effort before the All American American wins with a gutwrench powerbomb on eight minutes. Your Winner: Jack Swagger
Hey, did you know that WWE Universe, the company’s social networking site received more visits than Facebook, Myspace and Twitter?
Nope, me neither, because it’s so clearly not true. In fact, I’m almost embarrassed that WWE could be so bold as to make such a ridiculous claim.
Anyway, out next comes Chris Jericho. He belittles his partner, Edge, for getting injured and claims to have a clause in his contract which would allow him to pick a new partner of his choosing.
Mark Henry comes out, and it appears Jericho chose him, but no, Henry just wants to beat up Chris Jericho. Jerry Lawler tells us that Seth Green just booked an impromptu match, a ref comes out and yeah, we got ourselves a match!
Mark Henry vs. Chris Jericho
Henry rattles Jericho, Jericho decides he can’t be bothered and walks off. Henry wins another match by count out. How long do you reckon it will be before Henry gets someone in a cage so that they can’t wander off? Your Winner via Count Out: Mark Henry
And now folks, the match absolutely nobody was waiting for:
Hornswoggle vs. Chavo Guerrero
By the way, there’s an added stipulation to this match; Chavito has to wrestle with one hand behind his back. What’s worse, he loses the match in two minutes.
Poor Chavo. Your Winner: Chavo Guerrero
In the back, Ted Dibiase and Randy Orton are having words when Cody Rhodes shows up. He says he’s heard rumours that Dusty will be here next week, which must be a good thing, right?
Orton reminds his minions that their job tonight is to take care of HHH and Cena, leaving Seth Green for The Legend Killer.
The Big Show vs. Evan Bourne
Uh oh. Bourne in trouble!
With United States Champion, Kofi Kingston doing a decent job on commentary, ‘Air’ Bourne gets flattened by the humongous big show and taps out in less than three minutes. Your Winner: The Big Show
After the match, Show refuses to release the hold, prompting Kofi to make the save.
Let’s sell some Toys
In the back, Santino is playing around with some wrestling figures for no apparent reason other than to subtly hint that you can spend money on such things. Seth Green shows up and talks to Santino, who leaves when Cena and Trippers arrive.
They talk about their match a little, and then something stupid stupid happens.
Something Stupid
Lawler and Cole announce that our special guest hosts for next week will be…ZZ Top. Oh come on, like anyone under the age of a million will care about ZZ Top. And this is supposed to be the show aimed at the young ‘uns.
Anyway folks, it’s main event time.
Six Man Match: WWE Champion Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes & Ted Dibiase vs. Triple H, John Cena and Seth Green.
OK, here goes.
This…Well, this was a weird one. In parts, it was actually an exciting little match, in others, it was a tale of Seth Green getting into scrapes before Cena and HHH bailed him out. A fun main event for sure, but hardly all that memorable.
In the end, all hell breaks loose and the ref scraps the whole idea. No Contest.
Final Thoughts:
Despite ragging on this week’s show throughout most of my review, I actually watched it again before sitting down to do my final thoughts and have decided that, you know what, it was actually quite fun.
Nonsensical in parts, embarrassing in others and with more time dedicated to Seth Green than any of the actual wrestlers, sure, but nonetheless fun.
For what it’s worth, MVP and Jack Swagger had the match of the night, whilst the ‘Who Will be Jericho’s Partner’ saga is actually a hell of a lot more interesting than the main event picture right now. Which is probably not the best thing for WWE.
North Carolina State University, Raleigh, North Carolina
John Cena stupidly reminds everyone that we’ve already seen the Night of Champions main event over a year ago, Jerry Lawler wrestles for no good reason and we get Guerrero/Hornswaggle III as some old men called ZZ Top host the worst WWE Raw in history.
Here’s what stank up the place.
***NOTE: This review was written live as Raw happened in 2009.***
Cen(a) it all before
John Cena is out to start tonight’s show and he’s excited. He thinks we’re all excited too, excited about the main event at Night of Champions in which he’ll compete against Triple H and Randy Orton for the WWE title. This is big, he says, this was the main event of Wrestlemania 24.
Yes, very clever, remind everyone that Raw has been running the exact same feud for over a year.
Randy Orton shows up and wonders aloud why Cena is so excited about getting his backside handed to him at the pay per view.
He’s followed by Legacy, and eventually Triple H, leading to tonight’s never-before-seen main event of Triple H & John Cena vs. Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase.
Wow, can’t wait.
Zzzzz Top
ZZ Top is here.
Nobody cares, except for Santino, who claims to be such a big fan yet gets all their names wrong. Not that it seems to bother these old men much, they just dress him up like one of them and sing a bit.
Poor Santino, so much potential wasted in naff segments like this.
Six Man Tag Team Match: United States Champion Kofi Kingston, Primo & MVP vs. Jack Swagger, Carlito & The Big Show
Things finally start to suggest that we might have a good show on our hands as five of WWE’s brightest stars, and The Big Show, put on a really enjoyable ten-minute match.
The only purpose it serves is to promote a six pack challenge match for the US title at night of champions which will see Kofi defend against MVP, Swagger, Carlito, Miz and Big Show, but hey, that’s good enough reason for me.
After all the fun and games are over, Primo knocks out his brother with a diving headbutt and picks up the win for his squad. Your Winners: Kofi Kingston, Primo & MVP
In the back, ZZ Top are none-too-discretely plugging their upcoming tour. Chris Jericho shows up and admits to being a big fan. He’s certain they must have heard of his band, Fozzy, but apparently, they haven’t (it’s OK Chris, I’m sure a large portion of the WWE Universe have never heard of ZZ Top).
Regardless, Jericho asks to jam with them but instead gets booked in a match with Mark Henry. This could have been awful, but Jericho was in it, so it wasn’t too bad.
This next bit however…
Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler vs. The Brian Kendrick
We return from the adverts to find Brian Kendrick down at the announce table, shouting at King and Cole. Kendrick hilariously boasts that he’s a former tag team champion, which is one more belt than Lawler has ever won (so obviously we’re not counting those five million USWA Championships Lawler held) and for that reason alone we have to have a wrestling match.
Or at least, something vaguely resembling a wrestling match, which ends in less than two and a half minutes when Lawler hits the young whippersnapper with, of all things, a flying fist drop.
Was there any point? Your Winner: Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler
Next, we go to Josh Matthews who is standing by with Mickie James to promote her match against Maryse at the pay per view. Before this really gets anywhere, Miz shows up and says that whilst Maryse walks, talks and acts like a champion, Mickie James will end up working as a waitress in ten years’ time.
Mickie claims that Miz is just bitter since she scored a victory over Maryse, whilst Miz can’t seem to score at all. Burn. This brings out the divas champion, who sprays hairspray in the eyes of her upcoming opponent.
It’s not bad, but it’s not that good either.
Chris Jericho vs. Mark Henry
This, however, is.
OK, so it only goes five minutes long and has a rubbish finish where Jericho gets frustrated and levels Henry with a chair for the DQ, but when they’re actually wrestling, Jericho makes Henry look like a star.
Which is probably the idea. Your Winner: Mark Henry
In the back, Santino and ZZ Top discuss beard-care products when Chavo Guerrero arrives. He’s disgusted about having to wrestle a leprechaun, but instead of showing much sympathy, these ZZ top chaps book him against Finlay’s kid in a Sharp Dressed Man Match.
Sharp Dressed Man Match: Hornswoggle vs. Chavo Guerrero
As every wrestling fan the world over goes for a toilet break, Hornswoggle and Chavo Guerrero ‘compete’ in a terrible tuxedo match in which Guerrero has his legs bound.
For those not familiar, the object is to strip another man of his tuxedo, which Hornswoggle does. Your Winner: Hornswoggle
Please, please WWE, please let me be able to stop writing that!
On the Same Page
Out back, HHH and Cena discuss tonight’s main event. They’re on the same page tonight, but won’t be this Sunday.
They’ve Got Legs
Santino is still hanging out with those old men.
They’re joined by Gail Kim, Alicia Fox, Rosa and Kelly Kelly, and they dance to ZZ Top’s song ‘She’s Got Legs’. However, Santino gets carried away and strips down to his pants, which frightens everybody off.
Hilarious? Not really.
Oh yeah, don’t we have a match?
With Legacy caught up in the main event feud and Jericho caught up in embarrassing everybody with his brilliance, you might have forgotten that the three of them are due to compete in a match for Jericho’s tag team titles at Night of Champions.
So they have a bit of an argument backstage and vow to beat each other up at the pay per view. Which is interesting enough.
Next Week’s Guest Host:
Shaquille O'Neal.
Kelly Kelly & Gail Kim vs. Alicia Fox & Rosa Mendez
This isn’t a very entertaining match, but I do like how they’re putting Gail Kim in with some of the lesser-talented female workers, hoping some of her skills rub off on the likes of the hopelessly bland Kelly Kelly and the pointless Alicia Fox.
It’s the latter who picks up the win in this match. Your Winners: Alicia Fox & Rosa Mendez
Before the main event, those old guys with the beards from ZZ Top come out to meet the crowd, but it looks like they just hired some look-alikes to do this bit and pre-recorded all the other segments.
Handicap Match: Triple H & John Cena vs. WWE Champion Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes & Ted Dibiase
Legacy dominate the bulk of this tedious main event before Triple H and Cena make the inevitable comeback, Cena’s attempts to wrap things up are thwarted and Triple H finally chips in to allow Cena to get the win by rolling up Randy Orton. Your Winners: Triple H & John Cena
After the match, HHH and Cena show some respect with a handshake.
Final Thoughts:
This show was terrible. The six man match and the Jericho/Henry clash were decent for what they were, but they just became lost in all the horrible ZZ Top stuff.
Speaking of which, having those old men host this show made absolutely no sense. As most people know by now, WWE is trying to appeal to a younger audience, so why on earth they’d have ZZ Top, who are about as relevant to today’s young people as penny farthings is beyond me.
All that said, aside from the HHH/Cena/Orton match, Night of Champions is shaping up to be an interesting card and should be one worth watching. Well, it certainly can’t get any worse than this.
Adam Copeland – On Edge is the entertaining and, at times, inspiring, autobiography of World Wrestling Entertainment Superstar, Edge.
Featuring a forward by Copeland’s real-life friend, and fellow wrestler-turned-author, Mick Foley, On Edge sees the man known to millions as The Rated-R Superstar set out to meet the high-standards set by Foley’s own literary efforts, and whilst this tome doesn’t quite get there, it’s still nonetheless a good read.
In a departure from the standard protocol used by WWE published books, Copeland does away with the need for a ghost-writer. Instead, his memoirs were written by hand during an in-ring hiatus brought about by a severe neck injury.
The result is an autobiography that bodyslams the majority of the competition to become, if not the heavyweight champion, then at least the Middleweight champion of professional wrestling books.
Writing in an honest, concise and often humorous fashion, Copeland details his early childhood without the self-pity of sympathy-baiting that such a tale of a hard-working single parent family living on the edge of poverty may warrant.
From there, Copeland wastes no time into getting into all the humour, tragedy and dedication that form the backbones of his transition from wrestling fan and uber-geek to one of pro wrestling’s brightest stars.
Stories of Canadian Winter Death Tours, cross-country jaunts financed by small-time independent wrestling shows and friendships with fellow stars such as Jason ‘Christian Cage’ Resso, Terry ‘Rhyno’ Richards and others, are told with an earnest passion and a tongue occasionally planted firmly in the cheek.
Indeed, even when Copeland’s journey to the Big Time hits its most bleak, you still believe he sat and wrote about it with an insanely big grin on his mush.
Perhaps one of the most appealing aspects of Adam Copeland’s book is that it rarely takes many potshots at others in the wrestling world.
Whilst some books of a similar ilk seem to have been crafted purely as a grievance for a wrestling star to lay into a fellow ring-warrior, On Edge seems more than content to focus on the good times and its author’s rise to the top, rather than laying into all and sundry.
Though the layout does leave something to be desired, the pulled-out quotes and randomly-inserted pictures do give the impression that you’re actually reading a journal rather than a mass-produced autobiography, and it’s that which makes Adam Copeland – On Edge such an engrossing read for wrestling fans.
March 24, 1996 Tupelo Coliseum in Tupelo, Mississippi Ranking up there with The Ding Dongs and "David Arquette - World Champion," The Doomsday Cage Match has always been regarded as one of World Championship Wrestling's biggest creative disasters, but was it really all that bad? Tonight, as we delve back in time to the company's second Uncensored pay per view,. we would find out for sure.
We'd also find out whether Sting and Booker T could co-exist as they went against The Road Warriors in a Chicago Street Fight taking place in Mississippi, and whether or not The Booty Man would prevail in a feud with Diamond Dallas Page that he'd originally had nothing to do with.
Yes folks, this was one show that -before it even begins- just has WCW written all over it.
Ready to check it out with me?
Let's head to the Tupelo Coliseum and get Uncensored, shall we?
The Alliance to End Hulkamania
Our show tonight began with the customary video package, this one showing various members of The Alliance to End Hulkamania promising Hulk Hogan that they would achieve their goal tonight and bring out the demise of Hulk Hogan once and for all.
We should also remember that Macho Man Randy Savage was involved in this match too, but none of the bad guys seemed to care much about him.
This took us into the show proper, where Tony Schiavone was there to welcome us to the second annual WCW Uncensored PPV.
Joining Tony tonight, as always, was none other than The American Dream Dusty Rhodes and Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan.
The trio hyped up tonight's main event before taking us to ringside for our opening contest.
World Championship Wrestling United States Heavyweight Championship WCW United States Champion Konnan vs. Eddie Guerrero
One thing I've always liked about WCW, is that they were never shy about booking a lengthy, honest-to-goodness wrestling match in the opening spot, and that most of those openers really did deliver.
Such is the case here, as Konnan defended his title against the man the commentary team told us was his good friend, Eddie Guerrero.
Infinitely better than Konnan's title defence against One Man Gang at the previous month's Superbrawl VI, this was a tight, solid effort which really hit the spot.
Whilst champ and challenger indulged in fast-paced exchanges and lucha libre style spots, this was by no means a 'flashy' opener. It was a straight up, hard fought pro wrestling match that this fan in particular really enjoyed.
The end came when the champ flashed a hint of the rule breaker attitude he would display after turning heel later that year, and apparently struck Eddie with a low blow for the three count.
You couldn't actually see the low blow of course, and for all intents and purposes, it looked merely as though Eddie sat on Konnan's face (there's something I never thought I'd write), but the announcers told us it was a low blow, and it was our job simply to believe it. Your Winner and Still WCW United States Champion: Konnan
Afterwards, Konnan tried to help his opponent up and raise his arm as a mark of respect, but Guerrero, visibly pissed at being shotted in the nuts, was having none of it.
Col. Parker Can't Wait to Beat Up Madusa
After telling us all that we could chat with WCW wrestlers throughout the show via Compuserve (complete with footage of The Giant tapping away daintily at a laptop), Mean Gene Okerlund welcomed his first guests of the evening, Col. Robert Parker and 'Dirty' Dick Slater.
Parker claimed that when he went up against Madusa in their inter-gender match, he was going to beat up his female opponent on behalf of all men everywhere.
Dick Slater also added to the promo without actually adding anything, basically backing up the man he supposedly trained for tonight's match and reiterating the belief that Madusa was about to get beaten up by a man.
It was a cheap, dirty heel way to get heat, and it worked. After this, you definitely wanted to see Parker get his just desserts out in the ring.
Lord Steven Regal (w/ Jeeves) vs. The Belfast Bruiser Dave 'Fit' Finlay
Even better in the ring than it sounds on paper, Steven Regal vs. Fit Finlay was another long, solid Wrestling match that was just a joy to watch.
The two European stars took turns beating the living daylights out of each other both inside and outside through ring, with the referee relaxing the rules so that the bitter rivals could really settle their score.
The result was a match which contained everything from violent brawling to punishing submissions and everything in between.
Sadly, the level of intensity was lost on the Mississippi crowd, who were mostly quiet throughout, but to sit here and just take it in, Regal/Finlay was a blast.
In the end, the Irishman won when Regal's Blue Bloods team mates Squire David Taylor and Sir Robert Eaton ran in and attacked him. Your Winner by Disqualification: Fit Finlay
Post match, Finlay recovered and chased his attackers to the back.
Clearly this one was far from over.
Mean Gene Interviews The Giant and Jimmy Hart
Backstage, Jimmy Hart boasted to Gene Okerlund about humiliating Loch Ness by kicking him out of the Dungeon of Doom after the former Giant Haystacks put his hands on the Mouth of The South.
Turning his attentions to The Giant, Mean Gene informed us that the winner of tonight's Giant vs. Loch Ness would be the new number one contender for Ric Flair's World Heavyweight Championship.
The man who would one day be know as The Big Show promised to destroy Loch Ness tonight, and take Flair's title the following night on Nitro.
We next went back to the announce team, who prepared us for the upcoming inter-gender match before sending it back to Okerlund.
Loch Ness Talks
No WCW show would be complete without Mean Gene urging you to ring the hotline on 1-900-909-9900, and you have to believe that he was in full force here, telling us that if we called, we'd get to find out which wrestling legend was considering hanging up the tights and heading to Hollywood.
His obligatory shill out of the way, Gene next introduced us to his guest, Loch Ness.
I'm not sure if they ever explained why a wrestler named after a place in Scotland spoke with a thick, Manchester accent, but he did so as he called Jimmy Hart a "Weasel Face" and promised to crush The Giant by dropping all 700lbs of his weight across the Dungeon of Doom member.
Our promo this evening finished with Okerlund suggesting that Loch Ness, who to be fair did look a mess, should see a dentist. It was hilarious and cruel at the same time.
Mean Gene, you sassy bitch.
Man vs. Woman Col. Robert Parker vs. Madusa
Dressed in slacks and a shirt with the sleeves rolled up, Col. Parker sent the commentary team into frenzy when he proved he actually knew how to wrestle by locking up with Madusa in the opening moments of the contest.
What followed was actually more entertaining than it probably had any right to be.
No, this wasn't a technical masterpiece, and you got the same feeling that it had been heavily scripted as you typically got with any match featuring a non-wrestler.
Still, there was a certain mad hilarity to the whole thing, assisted of course by Dusty Rhodes pronouncing words wrong left and right.
When Parker went on the offence, Dream cried out:
"HE'S RUN A MONK!"
You have to trust me on this one, it was hysterical.
What wasn't so funny was the ending, which came when Dirty Dick Slater got involved, helping Parker to first kick out of a pin, and then score one of his own.
Whilst it may have been more rewarding to give the former Alundra Blayze the win here, it was still a decent effort regardless. Your Winner: Col. Robert Parker
Out in the back, Lee Marshall caught up with The Road Warriors to talk about their upcoming Chicago Street Fight against Sting & Booker T.
The story here was that Lex Luger, officially Sting's co-champ, was in the Doomsday Cage Match main event, so Booker T was filling in against The Road Warriors.
Not that Hawk nor Animal seemed to care. The latter promised that he and his partner would emerge victorious tonight, whilst the latter yelled his head off about destroying the medulla oblongata of both of his opponents and leaving them paralysed.
This was your typical lust-for-violence promo from the LOD, conducted in front of a chalkboard on which the heels had apparently been planning a strategy on how to beat Hogan and Savage in tonight's main event.
'I Quit Wrestling' Match Diamond Dallas Page vs. The Booty Man (w/ Kimberly)
Though the announcers definitely called this an 'I Quit' match, it wasn't what you're probably thinking.
Rather, it was an "I Quit Wrestling" match, the confusing name referring to the fact that Diamond Dallas Page would be forced to quit wrestling if he lost this match.
If he won however, he would once again acquire the services of Kimberly, and would also win back the millions of dollars he lost the previous month in his match against Johnny B. Badd at Superbrawl VI.
The name of the match wasn't the only confusing thing going on here though, just the fact that it was The Booty Man going up against Page and not Badd needed some explaining.
In storyline terms, Page had been feuding with Johnny B. Badd and lost everything to him, including Kimberly, six million dollars, and the WCW Television Championship.
Seeking revenge, Page had cost Badd the title to Lex Luger, causing Johnny to blame Kimberly, lose his shit and leave the company, with The Booty Man stepping up to, supposedly, defend Kim's honour, and her money, against her ex, Page.
This of course gave the WCW announcers plenty of opportunity to bury the real life Marc Mero just 12 days before he debuted for the opposition at Wrestlemania 12.
This of course, was the real reason why Brutus 'The Booty Man' Beefcake had now been shoehorned into a feud which originally had nothing to do with him.
Whilst Tony & Co. we're busy telling us that Johnny B. Badd just couldn't cut it 'where the big boys play,' Dallas Page came to the ring with Sideshow Bob hair and an unkempt, really committing himself to the role of a down-on-his-luck pro wrestler who had just about lost everything.
Not that we were supposed to feel sorry for him.
Page was most definitely the heel here, antagonising the crowd and generally being a bastard as he went up against Booty Man in a very mediocre outing.
The crowd were into it in parts, especially when Booty Man, as a red hot face, took control, but for every spot that was genuinely enjoyable, there were two more that were either deadly dull or decidedly awkward.
The main problem here was length. Given half the time, you have to believe that both men would have been able to deliver a short, explosive contest.
Instead, this really dragged on, meaning it was a great relief when Kimberly responded to Dallas forcibly kissing her by slapping him across the mush, sending him smack into the match-winning High Knee. Your Winner: The Booty Man
Celebrating his big win, Bruti snogged a clearly smitten Kimberly and led her backstage before she fainted under the awesome power of The Booty Man's magnetic charms and great ass...or something.
Lex Luger is Worried About Sting
Emotions were running high backstage as Jimmy Hart pretended to be choked up about tonight being the final time he led Lex Luger to the ring.
Mean Gene reminded us that Hart was responsible for ejecting Loch Ness from the Doomsday Cage Match and inserting Luger in his place.
Hart neither confirmed nor denied that, but did present Luger with special Jimmy Hart style jacket with Luger's image on it as a weird kind of 'going away gift' or something.
'I love you man!' Yelled Hart, before running off camera as fast as his little legs could carry him.
This left Lex to talk to Mean Gene about the cage match, something he wasn't all that good at.
Honestly, Luger's bemusing promo here made him sound like he had no idea what the Doomsday match was all about, nor why he was part of it.
He did however, know much more about his best friend Sting teaming up with Booker T to face The Road Warriors.
Despite Okerlund reminding him that he had bailed on Sting on more than one occasion, The Total Package claimed that he was very emotional about watching Sting defending the titles without him, especially since he was a Chicago native and wouldn't be competing in the Chicago Street Fight.
You know, the one taking place in Tupelo, Mississippi?
Anyway, Luger vowed to be watching out for his buddy no matter what, and thus ended a wonderfully over-the-top promo that proved to be one of the most enjoyable things on the show so far, especially compared to the atrocity we got next.
Giant vs. Giant (Winner becomes number one contender to the WCW title) Loch Ness vs. The Giant (w/ Jimmy Hart)
The opening graphic here had the 'n' in the first 'giant' blacked out, so it actually came up as 'Gia t vs. Giant'
— Retro Pro Wrestling (@retropwrestling) June 17, 2017
After that, Loch Ness came out to the music Rey Mysterio would use only a few months later, and trip up on his way to the ring.
That was about the only interesting thing about this mercifully short match, apart from the one high spot in the whole thing.
After trading blows, The Giant had 'Ness backed into the corner. He hurled himself at him, Loch a Ness moved, and The Giant went crashing over to the outside.
For a man of his size, it was a pretty impressive move.
The rest however, was just damn ugly, so it came as a great relief when The Giant dropped a leg drop on his opponent and won the match. Your Winner: The Giant
Screaming into the camera after the bell, The Giant claimed that the leg drop was for Hulk Hogan, before promising to beat Ric Flair for the title on the following nights Nitro.
Sting and Booker T Get it On Like a Pot of Neck Bones, Sucka
Backstage, Lee Marshall wanted to ask Sting about the upcoming Chicago Street Fight, but his temporary partner Booker T interjected, ranting and raving and basically promising that he and Sting were on the same page and ready for war, because can you dig it and it's on like a pot of neck bones sucka, and all your standard Harlem Heatisms.
That's not me being a racialist, if you were around at the time,I'm sure you can back me up that Booker T and Stevie Ray's mic work from this time consisted of basically being as over-the-top black as possible.
Sting was fired up too, declaring that his 'brothers in paint' had thrown friendship out of the window and thus he was going to kick some ass.
In one of the most hilarious moments of this wildly entertaining segment, The Stinger tried to get his partner fired up, yelling at him about it being on like neck bones.
This whole promo was personally my favourite part of the show so far.
Chicago Street Fight WCW Tag Team Champion Sting & Booker T vs. The Road Warriors (Hawk & Animal)
The longest match on the card by a mile, this street fight lasted 30 minutes but felt like it went on for 3 days, which is odd, because parts of it were actually quite good.
The thing started off with a big brawl in and out of the ring that was as chaotic and out-of-control as you could expect to see in a match like this.
Then it all slowed down, the four combatants fully failing to use the freedom of a no holds barred situation to its potential and instead merely slugging it out in a long, dull and repetitive stretch that almost sent this writer to sleep.
Thankfully, things picked up towards the finish, with Booker T luring Animal backstage, where a
trap awaited.
Channelling his short-lived Narcissist gimmick, Luger was backstage, posing in a mirror as Animal and Booker brawled nearby.
The Road Warrior felled Booker and attacked Luger, prompting The Total Package to retaliate.
Stevie Ray joined in, and the three-on-one beatdown resulted in Animal being tied to a post, unable to continue.
Booker returned to ringside, where he helped Sting pick up the win, finally bringing this one to an end. Your Winner: Sting & Booker T
Finally, after some last minute comments from our announce team and some pre-match hype from Michael Buffer, it was onto a match that has been criticised over and over again in the years since.
Was it really all that bad?
There's only one way to find out.
Doomsday Cage Match The Alliance To End Hulkamania (WCW World Heavyweight Champion Ric Flair, The Enforcer Arn Anderson, The Taskmaster, Lex Luger, Meng, The Barbarian, Z-Gangsta, The Ultimate Solution w/ Jimmy Hart, Woman, and Elizabeth) vs. The Mega Powers (Hulk Hogan & Macho Man Randy Savage)
Having never actually seen this match before, everything I'd read about it led me to believe that it was
basically Hogan and Savage working their way through eight heels, giving their opponents no offence and destroying everybody in their path.
Of course, I was misinformed. Hulk and Randy did indeed absorb a whole host of punishment from their adversaries, but it turned out that this was actually the least of the problems with this match.
With the cameras placed only outside the cage, and the whole thing shot with very little lighting, it was difficult to tell what was going on.
You had to admire WCW's effort; had this been a Hollywood production, it would have no doubt looked phenomenal.
But it wasn't, it was a pro wrestling match filmed through a cage wall with TV cameras, and it looked terrible. What made things worse, is that when you did see something, what you saw was mostly dull and not actually worth watching..
The problems didn't end there, either.
Clocking in at a little over 25 minutes, the match was at least 15 minutes longer than it should have been.
Trust me, 25 minutes of not very good wrestling shot mostly in darkness with a mesh cage wall obscuring the view is not an easy thing to watch.
Yet watch this stubborn reviewer did, long enough to see The Mega Powers get the win, but only after The Booty Man snuck in to give them eye-blinding powder and frying pans (of all things) to use as weapons.
Even then, it looked as though The Alliance might actually prevail until Flair held Savage in place for Luger to drill him one.
Savage got out of harms way, Luger stopped, thought about it, then decided to hit Flair anyway.
Hogan hurled Lex out of the way, Savage got the pin, and he and Hogan escaped the cage before fleeing to the back. Your Winners: The Mega Powers Afterwards, the two fled to the back, leaving Tony, Dusty, and Bobby to wrap up tonight's show and remind us to check out Nitro tomorrow night for the big World Title fight between The Giant and Ric Flair.
So, was The Doomsday Cage Match as bad as everybody says it was? No. It was worse. I usually try to err on the side of the optimistic when reviewing pro wrestling, but even I have to admit the whole thing was garbage. That said, we shouldn't be too surprised. The whole of WCW Uncensored 1996 wasn't exactly a joy to watch. In fact, some of it was downright painful. My recommendation is that you check out the Finaly vs. Regal bout (the only must-see thing on the show), and possibly Eddie/Konnan if you want to see Guerrero as he was just breaking out into a mainstream role with WCW, but otherwise, save your sanity and avoid this show at all costs. Next time, we'll look at WCW Slamboree 1996. Until then, thanks for reading, and remember that you can join me on Facebook or on Twitter @Retropwrestling. https://twitter.com/retropwrestling
February 11, 1996 Bayfront Arena, St. Petersburg, Florida. For most pro wrestling fans, Ric Flair is as synonymous with World Championship as the company's other marquee attraction: Sting. So it was fitting that tonight, as WCW entered its final few months before the arrival of the New World Order, that The Nature Boy should be attempting to capture the group's World Heavyweight Title for an unprecedented 13th. Not that Flair and his opponent, defending champion Macho Man Randy Savagewere the only main event here.
As the first WCW PPV of 1996, we were nearing the end of Hulk Hogan's initial babyface run with the company, a company which appeared to be less and less successful with passing show.
Everywhere he went, the chants of "Hogan Sucks! Hogan Sucks!" were growing louder and more noticeable, serving as the catalyst for Hogan's eventual heel turn at Bash At The Beach 1996 later that summer.
Would The Hulkster manage to win the favour of the Florida faithful as he went up against arch-nemesis The Giant in the second of two steel cage matches tonight?
Would his Mega Maniacs partner Randy Savage prevent Flair from breaking a new record when they met in part one of our big double main event?
Let's head to the Bayfront Arena to find out, shall we?
Welcome to Superbrawl VI, Welcome to the 1990s
Our show tonight began with a cheesy video package which basically told us what was on tonight's card, but could have just as easily have been a kid's toy commercial. Seriously, don't just take my word for it, watch it here:
After that, Tony Schiavone welcomed us to the show without telling us it was the most historic night in the history of our sport. Instead, he introduced us to his colleagues Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan and The American Dream Dusty Rhodes before taking us down to ringside for our opening contest.
Street Fight: Public Enemy ('Flyboy' Rocco Rock & Johnny Grunge) vs. Nasty Boys (Brian Knobbs & Jerry Saggs)
Give credit to WCW where it's due, the company did know how to utilise Brian Knobbs and Jerry Sags effectively.
This was a team that were never going to deliver a classic in a textbook tag bout, but book them in a wild, out of control brawl like this one, and the many others they had throughout their tenure with Turner, and The Nasty Boys could prove to be as entertaining as anybody on the roster.
Going up against 'Flyboy' Rocco Rock and Johnny Grunge in a match which channelled the spirit of that team's former home in ECW, The Nasties spent several minutes trading chair shots, trash can attacks and table bumps with their opponents in an enjoyable -if hardly spectacular- opener.
Must-See TV this certainly wasn't, but as a way to get the crowd pumped for the show, the weapon-based madness on display here certainly worked well.
In the end, Rocco Rock hurled himself off the top of an obviously fake merch stand, hoping to crash onto Brian Knobbs and send him through a table.
Knobbs moved, made the cover, and won the match. Your Winners: The Nasty Boys
All the while, your writer was still thinking about that merch stand. I mean seriously, it was next to the entrance, blocked off from the fans. Who were they going to sell merchandise to, the wrestlers?
Did Mean Gene Foretell The Arrival of The Outsiders?
Backstage, Mean Gene Okerlund shilled the WCW Hotline by telling us that he and Mike Tenay would be discussing the rumour that 'two World Wrestling Federation former champions could be on their way to World Championship Wrestling.'
Of course, I never heard that Hotline talk, but I do wonder if Okerlund was referring to Scott Hall and Kevin Nash, who would be debuting just a few months later.
Okerlund Interviews Konan
From there, Mean Gene invited his first interview guest of the evening, Konnan.
The United States and AAA Americas Champion saddled up to Okerlund wearing a truly hideous outfit that looked like some mad dress one of the ladies from Abba might have worn back in the '70s.
Promising to beat One Man Gang in his upcoming US title defence, Konnan delivered his entire promo looking at the wrong camera.
Either that or he was reading from an autocue.
World Championship Wrestling Television Championship WCW TV Champion Johnny B. Badd (w/ Diamond Doll) vs. Diamond Dallas Page
It was all on the line here. If Diamond Dallas Page won, he not only became the TV champ again, but also won back the services of the Diamond Doll.
If Johnny B. Badd won, he not only kept both the belt and the girl, but also won $6 million for Kimberly, which DDP had taken from her in the first place.
Things started interestingly enough, and not just because it is still weird to see DDP heading to the ring to anything other than his famous Nirvana Rip Off theme music.
Badd's entrance was particularly explosive, with a Kimberly backflipping out of the curtain and leading her man to ringside.
Diamond Doll's presence, like some kind of super dynamic, super energetic children's TV presenter, turned out to be one of the most entertaining parts of the match.
That however, is not saying much.
In the ring, her real life partner Dallas Page was in control for much of the contest. Though this did mean that the bout occasionally dragged in places, it was saved thanks to the combination of Page's natural cockiness and Badd's in-ring talent.
Indeed, it was when the champ was in control that this one was at its best, especially when he brought it to an end by reversing a tombstone pole driver and landing one of his own to retain the title. Your Winner and Still WCW Television Champion: Johnny B. Badd
Post-match, Badd and Diamond Doll celebrated with the oversized cheque representing the latter's cash prize.
Harlem Heat Suck At Their Sucky Sucka Promo, Sucka
Backstage, Mean Gene asked Stevie Ray and Booker T about their upcoming tag team title match against champions Sting and Lex Luger.
The 'Heat responded with a terrible promo in which every other word was 'Sucka' and the other words were badly phrased attempts at saying 'we're going to win.'
Seriously, you'd have no idea from watching him babble on in this promo that Booker T would go on to become one of the biggest stars to ever come out of WCW.
World Championship Wrestling World Tag Team Championship WCW World Tag Team Champions Sting & Lex Luger vs. Harlem Heat (Stevie Ray & Booker T)
The winners of this one would go on to defend the titles later on in the night against The Road Warriors.
At this point, you had to imagine they were saving any excitement for that bout, because that's the only logical reason for a match which should have been entertaining instead delivering ten-plus minutes of tedium that was an absolute chore to watch.
Even the apparent dissection between champions Sting and Lex Luger wasn't enough to make this one even mildly captivating, and when The Road Warriors ran in at the finish to help the champs retain, it came as a huge relief to this terribly bored writer. Your Winner and Still WCW Tag Team Champions: Sting & Lex Luger
In a hilarious post match promo, Mean Gene tried to question the champs on the cheap way that they had won the match. Sting and Lex were apparently too pumped up from the bout itself (God knows why, it was so dull), and instead just yelled over the top of Okerlund, congratulating each other on a great victory.
The break in the action continued with Heenan, Schiavone, and Rhodes discussing the card so far.
World Championship Wrestling United States Championship WCW United States Champion Konnan vs. One Man Gang
I'd love to tell you that this was surprisingly enjoyable, that the two men worked hard to deliver a bout which was better than it looks on paper.
I'd love to, but of course, I can't.
This was dreadful.
It started bad enough, the champ throwing himself at the challenger with some sloppy looking offence which honestly looked as though he didn't care less whether he injured his opponent, or himself.
Then One Man Gang took over, and things went from bad to worse, the match only serving to ensure that the few fans still awake after the earlier tag team snooze fest were sent right to sleep.
A boring match in front of a lifeless crowd, if you only ever see this match once in your life, it will be one too many times.
Konnan threw himself recklessly off the top rope at his opponent to retain his title. Nobody cared. Your Winner and Still US Champion: Konnan
Out in the back, Mean Gene informed us of a plumbing problem in the arena, before telling us that it was totally irrelevant and instead shilling the Hotline and the big rumour about the two WWF stars jumping ship.
What I can't understand now, is that if WCW themselves were hyping this as a potential big story as early as February, why were we supposed to be surprised when Scott Hall finally turned up on Nitro that summer?
Anyway, moving on, Okerlund brought on The Road Warriors who, in their typical rant and rave fashion, refused to apologise to Harlem Heat for costing them the titles, and promised that they were looking forward to locking up with Sting and Lex Luger.
"I Respect You" Strap Match The Taskmaster (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. 'Flyin' Brian Pillman
In one of the most infamous moments in WCW history, Pillman rushed to the ring for a quick, intense brawl with The Taskmaster before running to the corner, stealing the house mic and yelling 'I respect you, Booker Man.' Your Winner: The Taskmaster
I've read elsewhere that the 'Booker Man' part was edited out of the VHS release of this event, but it is still included in the copy we're watching today.
As the story goes, the line was part of Brian Pillman's run where he was working everybody, including Bischoff.
Eric would agree to release Pillman for real as part of a long term angle to bring him back as an even bigger star. Pillman, of course, would never return, ending up in the WWF by the summer.
Arn Anderson Steps Up
Back to tonight, after Pillman had stormed off, Sullivan basically stood around looking both confused and pissed off whilst Jimmy Hart ran to the back, apparently to fetch 'The Enforcer' Arn Anderson.
Shirt tucked into shorts and big, clobbering boots on his feet, Anderson came to the ring attired in a way that can't have looked good even in the '90s.
Apparently, he was going to step up and take the place of his Four Horsemen comrade Pillman in tonight's strap match.
"I Respect You" Strap Match The Taskmaster (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. 'The Enforcer' Arn Anderson
For the first couple of minutes, both men went at it in a heated exchange which had all the signs of turning into a really great match.
It didn't however.
Instead Jimmy Hart ran to the back again, this time bringing out Ric Flair, who put a stop to the whole thing by insisting that The Horsemen and The Dungeon of Doom should work together to take out Hulk Hogan and Macho Man Randy Savage.
Anderson claimed that if it meant getting his hands on the good guys, he would get in bed with the devil himself. Sullivan said nothing because Flair took the mic from him and bounced around the ring being Ric Flair, but a silent nod and a handshake from The Taskmaster was enough to cement the truce. No Contest
Out in the back, Mean Gene managed to interview somebody without shilling the WCW Hotline.
This time, his guests were The Giant and his manager Jimmy Hart, both of whom promised us that tonight, we would see the end of Hulkamania forever.
World Championship Wrestling World Tag Team Championship WCW World Tag Team Champions Sting & Lex Luger vs. The Road Warriors (Hawk & Animal)
Further teasing a heel turn that would never fully come to fruition, Luger spent the opening moments of this contest threatening to head to the back and not compete at all.
This was entertaining for about a minute, and worked well as a storytelling device, but when it went on for a full five minutes, it became just as boring as Luger & Sting's earlier outing against Harlem Heat.
Eventually, Sting put us all out of our misery by persuading Luger to stick around and join him in what turned out to be by far the better of the two tag title bouts on tonight's show.
Don't get me wrong, that's not to say that this was in anyway a great match, because it wasn't.
It took forever to get going, and once it did, the whole thing failed to reach the kind of momentum you had to believe both teams were working towards.
Still, compared to the earlier snooze fest, this was a decent effort which ended on a double countout when all four men started brawling on the outside. Double Countout
Post match, The Road Warriors went after Luger, seeking revenge for the heel-like shenanigans that had been the catalyst for The Total Package's recent teased turn.
Sting came to his partner's rescue, and all four men brawled to the back.
The Nature Boy is Ready for Randy Savage
Backstage, our old buddy Mean Gene was standing by to get some pre-match comments from The Nature Boy Ric Flair and his consort, Woman.
Teasing Okerlund, who always came off like a dirty old man in these segments, Woman promised that she always got what she wanted, and tonight she wanted her man Flair to capture the gold from Savage.
For his part, Flair basically lost his mind and began ranting and raving about Hulk Hogan, before presumedly remembering he was fighting Savage and promising to beat him, take his title, and take Miss Elizabeth, too.
Flair may have a reputation for being gold on the mic, but tonight was certainly not a good example of that. The Nature Boy came off as delirious and non-sensical in a segment that just didn't achieve anything.
From there, we got more analysis from Dusty, Tony, and Bobby, followed by much hype and fanfare as the cage lowered from the rafters in time for tonight's main event.
A quick commercial for the following month's WCW Uncensored 96 PPV followed, after which it was time for more Mean Gene.
Macho Man Hijacks Elizabeth's Interview
Okerlund was about to ask Miss Elizabeth some questions, only for her man, the WCW World Heavyweight Champion Randy Savage to burst onto the scene and begin putting over how awesome it was that he, Elizabeth, and Hull Hogan were back together again as The Mega Powers.
Tonight, Savage promised that he would beat up Ric Flair, and that's just what we were about to see next... after more pre-match analysis from our commentary team of course.
World Championship Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship Cage Match WCW World Heavyweight Champion Macho Man Randy Savage (w/ Elizabeth) vs. Ric Flair (w/ Woman)
Whilst this rematch lacked some of the drama of that original WWF encounter, WCW's version of Savage vs. Flair was still very good.
The best match on the card so far, this intense contest made it more than worth sitting through all the dross that went before it.
Looking to capture his record-breaking 13th World Title (back in the days before titles changed hands every week, this sort of thing was a big deal), Nature Boy controlled much of this wild and wonderfully entertaining title match, only for the champion to continually fight back.
Just when it looked like Macho Man was about to put Flair away for good, Miss Elizabeth did the unthinkable; turning her back on Savage by giving Flair her shoe to hit him with.
Flair did just that, and a three count later, became the 13 time World Champion. Your Winner and NEW WCW World Heavyweight Champion: Ric Flair
Afterwards, as Flair and Arn Anderson celebrated in the ring, Elizabeth and Woman looked to make a break for it, only for Hulk Hogan to come running down and threatening the with a chair.
Hulk sent Flair and Anderson packing and helped Savage to the back, stealing Ric Flair's moment to celebrate his record breaking title win whilst the crowd chanted 'Hogan sucks! Hogan sucks!'
Mean Gene Interviews Hulk Hogan
After more comments from the announce team, we went to the back one last time, where Hulk Hogan told Mean Gene that he didn't understand why Elizabeth had turned on Savage, but that didn't stop him being furious about it.
Now that he thought about it, Hogan said that it seemed funny just how easy Elizabeth's shoe had come off on WCW TV when Flair used it to stab Hogan in the eye, causing him to be effectively blind in one eye for tonight's match against The Giant.
Speaking of that match, The Hulkster told us that it was unsanctioned, with the referee remaining on the outside merely to declare the winner.
Unlike the previous bout which could be won only by pin or submission, Hogan reminded us that his match was basically what we'll call WWF rules: with escaping the cage the only way to win.
That match was next, Brother.
Unsanctioned Cage Match The Giant (w/ Jimmy Hart and The Taskmaster) vs. Hulk Hogan
As The Giant made his way to the ring, Michael Buffer referred to him as 'The man who literally came back from the dead' at the previous year's Halloween Havoc.
Yes, literally.
I'm just going to leave that alone and concentrate on the match, which was better than I expected, but not by much.
Indeed, the bulk of the bout was so nondescript and uneventful that I had a hard time paying attention, though once Hogan hulked up to take us towards the finish, things did start to get exciting.
Replicating his Wrestlemania 3 moment with The Giant's storyline father, Andre, Hogan made a big deal out of slamming his larger adversary, before planting him with a Leg Drop of Doom hat trick.
The Giant shook off all of these, but wasn't able to stop Hogan from eventually making it out of the cage to win the match. Your Winner: Hulk Hogan
The moment Hulk landed on the outside, he was stacked by a chair-wielding Kevin Sullivan.
Hogan fought back, taking the chair for himself and chasing Sullivan into the ring.
The entire Dungeon of Doom ran in, though in a typical example of Hulk putting himself over at the expense of everybody else, he single handily beat every one of them up without selling so much as a single punch.
Finally, newcomer and Dungeon of Doom member Loch Ness (popular British wrestler Giant Haystacks) waddled down to get a piece of Hogan, only for his stablemates to pull him away as the shoe cane to an end.
Looking back, it's fascinating to see how different the landscape of World Championship Wrestling was just months before the New World Order came in and changed everything for good. No cruiserweights, none of the edginess and sense that anything could happen which came post Hogan heel turn, just an old fashioned pro wrestling show with a few notable moments, namely Pillman going into business for himself, and Flair capturing his 13th world title in a great match with Randy Savage. Speaking of which, that match may be the only reason you need watch this show. After all, when a match featuring the Nasty Boys turns out to be the second best on the card, that doesn't exactly speak volumes about the show's over all quality, does it? Next time, we'll review WCW Uncensored 1996. To be among the first to read that review when it is published, join me on the Retro Pro Wrestling Facebook page, or follow me on twitter at @Retropwrestling. twitter.com/retropwrestling
New reviews of classic WWF/WWE events recalling every moment from Wrestlemania 1 - 30. You'll also find reviews of WCW, ECW, TNA and the occasional indie event, along with a look at old school magazines, merchandise and more.
