PPV REVIEW: WWF Summerslam 2000

August 27, 2000
Raleigh Entertainment and Sports Arena, Raleigh, North Carolina

By the summer of the year 2000, the Attitude Era was going through somewhat of a transitional period. 

The Austin/McMahon storyline upon which the whole first half of that period had focussed was now over. Some of the more cartoonish aspects were also largely forgotten about, replaced instead with an emphasis on intensity, drama, and a brand of in-ring action that remained consistently at a higher level than at any other time in the company's history.

If Summerslam 2000 was a perfect example of anything, it was that.

Between the first ever TLC match, Jericho and Benoit tearing it up and a truely fantastic main event, this show was the apex of what had been a brilliant year for the World Wrestling Federation from an in-ring standpoint.

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But don't just take my word for it. Here's what went down when Summerslam came live from Raleigh, North Carolina.

Crimes of Passion - A Film by Freddie Fellini

In place of the usual quick introductory video, Summerslam 2000 opened up with Crimes of Passion, a film by 'Freddie Fellini'.

Though the name was an obvious nod to the famous Italian film director, this surreal short film looked more like the kind of thing David Lynch might come up with if he'd spent his time working for the WWF rather than making Mulholland Drive.

It featured Classy Freddie Blassie sitting in a locker room watching highlights of the Kurt Angle/Triple H feud while girls holding up Wakaonna masks cavorted around and a fat woman sat around eating something.


If that sounds bizarre, it's because it was, but it was also awesome.

The video was followed by a graphic which revealed for the first time on PPV the new Summerslam logo that the company would use all the way until 2008.

Pyro, a crushing metal riff  and a welcome from Jim Ross followed before and Jerry 'The King' Lawler got down to calling all the action from tonight's show.

With that, it was on to our opening match.

Right to Censor (Steven Richards, Bull Buchanan and The Goodfather) vs. Rikishi & Too Cool (Scotty 2 Hotty & Grandmaster Sexay w/ Victoria and Mandy)

Too Cool were an awesome choice to open any PPV.

Super over with the audience, Scotty 2 Hotty, Grandmaster Sexay and their partner Rikishi always had the crowd eating out of the palm of their hands from the moment their music struck until the end of the match and tonight was no different.

Well, it was kind of different.

After The Godfather abandoned his pimpin' ways and became The Goodfather, two of his hos had found solace in the arms of Rikishi and accompanied him to the ring tonight. One of those hos just happened to be future women's champion Victoria. In case you were wondering, the other ho was Mandy, better known as fitness model Frostee Moore.

The two got involved in what proved to be an entertaining opener, at one point getting in Goodfather's face only for the former Kama Mustafa to hurl them to the ground.

Though this was nowhere near as excellent as some of Too Cool's other opening contests throughout the year, it still got the crowd pumped up and ready for action, even if they missed out on seeing The Worm.

As Scotty got set to drop the crowd-pleasing move, Steven Richards levelled him with a swift kick to the mush and this one was over.
Your Winner: Right to Censor

After a word from King and JR, we were taken back to that night's episode of Heat in which Jonathan Coachman asked an arriving Kurt Angle why he'd recently taken advantage of Stephanie McMahon. Insulted that "fourth-string announcer" Coachman had questioned his integrity, the Olympic Gold Medalist shrugged off the question and headed into the arena.

In case you were wondering what Coachman was talking about, we were shown a clip of Kurt snogging a groggy and beaten up Steph.

Back on Heat, McMahon herself arrived and asked Coach where Triple H was. The interviewer responded that Hunter hadn't arrived yet but Angle had, prompting Steph to go looking for him.

Back live in the arena, Michael Cole asked WWF Hardcore Champion Shane McMahon about his sister's well being. Unfortunately for Shane, he didn't get to give much of a response as his opponent for the night, Steve Blackman, appeared and chased him off.

Road Dogg vs. X-Pac

JR reminded us that X-Pac and Road Dogg had actually fought side-by-side to keep the DX name back at Fully Loaded 1999.

They had even been partners just two months before, facing The Dudley Boyz back at King of The Ring 2000.

Now, however, they were going at it after a recent falling out which resulted in Pac accidentally sending Roadie through a table and The De Oh Double Jee abandoning his partner in a handicap match against The Undertaker.

Though it wasn’t on par with the excellent Roadie vs. 123 Kid match from In Your House 2: The Lumberjacks, this short little contest proved that the DX mainstays still worked very well together.

After a few minutes of good quality action, X-Pac broke out of Road Dogg’s patented Pump Handle Slam by levelling him with a low-blow.

One X-Factor later and this one was done.
Your Winner: X-Pac

Post-match, Pac took to the microphone and proved himself the consummate heel by declaring he and Roadie to be a great team and offering a ‘no hard feelings’ handshake to the man he just kicked in the balls.

Much to the delight of the live audience, Dogg refused to accept and beat him his former partner instead.

Who’s Hotter, Trish or Chyna?

It’s Trish Stratus, isn’t it?

Sure, but you have to admit The Ninth Wonder of the World looked pretty hot as she and her man Eddie Guerrero talked backstage about their upcoming Intercontinental championship opportunity.

Watching the action on a nearby monitor, a paranoid and self-obsessed Trish Stratus badgered Val Venis about whether she or Chyna deserved to be a centrefold model.

Having renounced his sex-obsessed ways, the Intercontinental champion told off his manager, insisting that he didn’t care who was hotter, only that he walked out of the arena tonight with the gold still firmly around his waist.

Inter-gender Tag Match for the World Wrestling Federation Intercontinental Championship
WWF Intercontinental Champion Val Venis & Trish Stratus vs. Chyna & Eddie Guerrero

So far, Summerslam 2000 was three for three in terms of good matches.

Though this won’t go down in history as the greatest of all time, all four participants played their parts well to deliver a pretty solid effort that the crowd lapped up with gusto.

Somewhat predictably, Trish Stratus cost her man the match. After a fun match, The future Hall of Famer was picked up and gorilla press slammed by Chyna, who made the cover, got the fall, and became a two-time Intercontinental Champion.
Your Winner and NEW WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chyna

Afterwards, a visibly irate Val Venis blasted his manager, and not in the way that most men would want to blast her.

Clearly, that relationship wouldn’t be lasting much longer.

Radio WWF

Remember Radio WWF?

Nah, neither does anybody else, but here was Michael Cole broadcasting on it live from WWF New York with Mick Foley as his broadcast partner.

The two had guests including Trish Stratus and Chyna, the latter of whom admitted to liking Foley’s ‘worm’ after the Commissioner bust out some dancing with Too Cool.

Finally, The Rock came back to New York via telephone to deliver a rendition of Smackdown hotel.

Steph is a Smitten Kitten

Back live, Stephanie McMahon was seen gossiping with a backstage worker called Janet, who let the bosses daughter know that everyone had been talking about her kissing Kurt Angle.

Despite insisting that Kurt kissed her and not the other way round, a clearly smitten Steph admitted that the Olympic Hero was a good kisser.

Would you like some candy?

Before the next match, JR offered King some candy from a big glass jar on their table, making sure that we all knew the jar was there.

It was an odd moment, so obviously, that meant the glass jar would play a role in the next bout.

Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler vs. Tazz

Sure enough, it did.

According to the pre-match video package, Tazz had been brutalising everybody insight, leading to JR calling him a lowlife.

The former ECW star then confronted Ross and made a rather below-the-belt insult about his Bell’s Palsey.

‘I’d slap you in your face,’ said Tazz. ‘But it looks like God already beat me to it.’

Yeah, that was harsh. So harsh in fact that Jerry Lawler stood up for his broadcast partner, leading to a match with Tazz here tonight.

The video also showed us Tazz smashing JR’s windscreen in while Ross was still in the car, injuring the announcer’s eye.

Making fun of the injury, badass tough guy Tazz opted for a comedy routine for his entrance, staggering to the ring with sunglasses and a stick like a blind person.

After a few minutes of reasonable but mostly unforgettable action, the referee took a bump.

Tazz locked in the Tazmission, but JR smashed the glass candy jar in his tormentor’s face.

On cue, the referee made a miraculous recovery and counted the fall as King made the pin.
Your Winner: Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler.

Backstage, Lilian Garcia attempted to find out what Shane McMahon thought about Steph and Kurt, but once again Steve Blackman chased the hardcore champion away before he could respond.

World Wrestling Federation Hardcore Championship
WWF Hardcore Champion Shane McMahon vs. Steve Blackman

Though it was far from a legendary battle, this was no doubt the high point of Steve Blackman’s career.

Receiving the kind of rapturous ovation from the live crowd that today’s midcarders could only dream about, The Lethal Weapon battered Shane in the early going with some creative and entertaining offence.

Eventually, Test and Albert came out to McMahon’s rescue and battered Blackman all the way to the entrance.

However, the challenger fought back and took his attackers out with a kendo stick before chasing Shane some sixty-seventy feet up to the top of a huge scaffold structure.

Then, in a moment that would be replayed on WWE TV for years to come, Blackman waffled Shane with the Kendo stick and McMahon took an epic fall to the ground.

Blackman then hit an elbow from lower down on the scaffold and reclaimed the title.
Your Winner and NEW WWF Hardcore Champion: Steve Blackman

Post-match, Shane O’Mac was stretchered out of the arena, sending his sister Stephanie into a panic.

Kurt Angle came to console her, but when the two hugged they were disturbed by Mick Foley, who wanted to talk to Steph about Shane.

Two-out-of-Three Falls
Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit

These two had delivered some of the best matches of the year 2000 at Backlash and Judgement Day.

This two-out-of-three falls match wasn’t quite at the same level as some of their earlier meetings and could have certainly benefited from having an extra ten minutes for the two men to really go it.

Regardless, Chris Jericho and Chris Benoit did the best they could with the limited time they had, and the results were still pretty good.

In the WWF’s first two-out-of-three falls match since Rock/HHH at Fully Loaded 1998, Benoit earned the first fall by making Jericho tap to the crippler crossface.

Naturally, Jericho evened the score by making Benoit tap to the Walls of Jericho.

The Crippler then stole the third fall by using the ropes for leverage on a pin, ending the match in somewhat disappointing fashion.
Your Winner: Chris Benoit

Out in the back, Triple H arrived at the arena 90 minutes after the opening bell.

Tables, Ladders, and Chairs, Oh My!

Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you’ve all been waiting for was almost upon us.

Before we got to the groundbreaking, first-ever TLC match, we got a video package looking at how the match came together:

The Dudleyz loved pushing people trough tables. The Hardyz loved diving off ladders, and now Edge & Christian had developed a fondness for hitting people with steel chairs, causing Mick Foley to put the whole thing together into one unique contest.

TLC Match for the World Wrestling Federation Tag Team Championships
WWF Tag Team Champions Edge & Christian vs. The Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray & D’Von Dudley) vs. The Hardy Boyz (Matt & Jeff Hardy)

Going from 0-epic in about two seconds flat, this was an absolutely spectacular match that your writer is immediately adding to his Favourite Matches of All Time list.

All six men held nothing back as they beat the living daylights out of one another and took some seriously insane bumps off from 20ft in the air, crashing through tables to the shock and delight of the audience.

At one point, Lita came in to try and help her men The Hardy Boyz, but she only managed to get herself speared by her future boyfriend Edge instead.

Not long after, Edge and Christian climbed the ladder and retained the titles, but not before they gave it all they had in an absolute classic war.
Your Winners and Still WWF Tag Team Champions: Edge & Christian

Out in the back, Stephanie McMahon tried to convince her husband that the Kurt kiss meant nothing to her and that The Game was the only man for her.

Thong Stinkface Match
The Kat (w/ Al Snow) vs. Terri (w/ WWF European Champion Perry Saturn)

As they came out, Terri’s man Perry Saturn tried to cover her up with a towel.

It’s a blessing that he didn’t succeed because both she and The Kat looked stunning.

I mean OK, the match was kinda dumb, but the ladies looked so good that I can’t say I care much.

After about two minutes of bodyslams and the sexually suggestive moves, Al Snow gave The Kat head and she used it to blast Terri with it.

One stinkface later, this was over.
Your Winner: The Kat

Over at WWF New York, The APA were drinking Jack Daniels, smoking cigars, stealing money out of the cash register and toasting to Vince McMahon.

If you weren’t at WWF New York but were watching the show on PPV then you could send in a copy of your cable bill showing proof of purchase to claim a free pair of sunglasses with The Rock’s logo on it.

No Disqualification Match
The Undertaker vs. Kane

Two weeks ago, Kane had turned heel on his brother by chokeslamming him through the ring.

Despite the announcers wanting to know why, Kane never really explained himself, instead offering a vague reason that he did it because he was a monster.

That was enough for this rematch from their bouts at Wrestlemania 14 and Unforgiven 1998.

The match itself was nothing special, but it told a captivating story.

The Undertaker declared quite boldly that he was going to ‘rip his [Kane’s] f**cking mask off' and then spent the rest of the match trying to do just that.

It’s funny that the WWF bleeped out several F-bombs on this show but left Goldberg’s in when he told Vince Russo to go f-himself at New Blood Rising, an event held around the same time as this one.

Anyway, the American Bad Ass succeeded in his mission, Kane ran off and this one was somehow over.
No Contest

Out in the back, Kurt Angle tried to call Stephanie on her cell phone, but Steph had to pretend it was Linda McMahon because Triple H was in the room. When Hunter asked to speak to his mother-in-law, Angle hung up.

No Disqualification Triple Threat Match for the World Wrestling Federation Championship
WWF Champion The Rock vs. Kurt Angle vs. Triple H

Yes, all this HHH/Angle/Steph stuff was building to this - a world title match in which The Rock, the actual WWF Champion, had been treated like an afterthought.

The People’s Champion barely even featured in the pre-match video.

Speaking of pre-match stuff, Kurt Angle came out first to address the fact that many people had said he should apologise for kissing Steph.

Kurt did just that.

Kind of.

He apologised for not doing it sooner and boldly declared that he’d shown Steph the kind of passion The Game could only dream of.

That brought out Hunter and this one was on.

As all good WWF main events did, this one came in three acts.

In the first act, HHH and Angle waged war on each other, resulting in the former murdering the latter by sending him through the Spanish announce table. Angle was stretchered out and The Rock made his entrance.

In the second act, Rock and HHH went at it in a straight-forward singles match. Any time you got these two in the ring together it was gold, and this was no exception.

Though it might not have been the best match they'd ever have together, the pair nonetheless delivered an excellent leading into the third and final act.

In said act, Stephanie McMahon urged Kurt Angle to return to the math and help her husband. Angle returned but instead tried to beat The Rock himself.

This all resulted in HHH accidentally decking his wife and getting pinned by The Rock, bringing this brilliant main event to a close.
Your Winner and Still WWF Champion: The Rock

Post-match, Angle picked up a prone Stephanie McMahon and carried her backstage.

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Summerslam 2000 may not have been an all-time classic show, but it certainly gave us an all-time classic match in the first-ever TLC match and a classic moment in Shane McMahon falling a million feet to his doom. Both that all-out war of a match and Shane O' Mac's insane spot continue to be talked about to this day, and for good reason:

They were both awesome.

Elsewhere on the card, there was nothing on the card that was essential, must-see viewing, but it was all generally good stuff that made this year's Summerslam an enjoyable watch from start to finish.

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For other year 2000 pro wrestling reviews see:

• WWF Royal Rumble 2000
• WCW Souled Out 2000
• WCW Superbrawl 2000
• WWF No Way Out 2000
• WCW Uncensored 2000
• WWF Wrestlemania 2000
• WCW Spring Stampede 2000
• WWF Backlash 2000
• WWF Insurrexion 2000
• WCW Slamboree 2000
• WWF Judgement Day 2000
• WCW The Great American Bash 2000
• WWF King of the Ring 2000
• WCW Bash at the Beach 2000
• WWF Fully Loaded 2000
• WCW New Blood Rising 2000
• WWF Summerslam 2000

Other WWF Summerslam Reviews

• WWF - Summerslam 1988
• WWF - Summerslam 1989
• WWF - Summerslam 1990
• WWF - Summerslam 1991
• WWF - Summerslam 1992
• WWF - Summerslam 1993
• WWF - Summerslam 1994
• WWF - Summerslam 1995
• WWF - Summerslam 1996
• WWF - Summerslam 1997
• WWF Summerslam 1998
• WWF Summerslam 1999

Be the first to catch the latest Retro Pro Wrestling reviews by following on Facebook or Twitter @RetroPWrestling.

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PPV REVIEW: WCW New Blood Rising 2000

August 13, 2000
Pacific Coliseum, Vancouver, British Columbia.

On April 10th, 2000, Vince Russo and Eric Bischoff returned to World Championship Wrestling and immediately set about instigating a reboot of the entire company.

Storylines were scrapped, all the titles were declared vacant, and war was declared on the wrestlers who had been hogging WCW's main event scene for the last couple of years.

Stars like Hulk Hogan, Kevin Nash, Sting, Lex Luger, Diamond Dallas Page and Ric Flair were all supposed to be the heels, the guys you'd want to see getting their asses kicked by a gang of young and hungry performers called The New Blood.

Like many things in WCW, it didn't work. Fans routinely cheered for The Millionaire's Club (Hogan et al.) and rooted for them to kick some New Blood ass.

Realizing they'd got it wrong, the WCW brain trust let the whole thing drizzle out in about a month or two.

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So, totally ignoring the fact that The New Blood had already risen, peaked, and fallen again, the company looked to replace their now-defunct Road Wild brand with this, New Blood Rising 2000.

Let's head down to Canada and relive what happened, shall we?

Let’s Get Down to Business

We began New Blood Rising with the obligatory video package, this one focussing on the main event rivalry between WCW Champion Booker T and the man he beat for that title, Jeff Jarrett.

This feud could be summed up thus:

Booker T cut a promo in which he said ‘let’s get down to business,’ and talked seriously about being a legitimate champion who would never relinquish the belt to Double J.

In response, Jarrett just said the word ‘slapnuts’ a lot and hit a bunch of people with guitars.

We then went live to the arena for the first WCW PPV to emanate from Canada since the previous year’s WCW Mayhem.

Tony Schiavone then welcomed us to the show with his usual hyperbolic introduction before sending to the ring for our opening contest.

Fair’s fair, you’d never guess that this was a company less than a year away from folding.

Everything about the presentation suggested that this was a big deal.

At least it did until Tank Abbott came down and started dancing with Three Count.

Six-Man Ladder Match
3 Count (‘Sugar’ Shane Helms, Evan Karagious, and Shannon Moore w/ Tank Abbott) vs. The Jung Dragons

It got worse. Abbott wore a 3 Count t-shirt with the nipples cut out. There he stood, nipples out, dancing and cheering on 3 Count as they engaged in a match that could have been so much better without the stipulation.

Had they just kept this as a six-man cruiserweight match, we might have had a fast-paced, high-flying outing which, though it may not have been a classic, would have proved to be a suitable opener.

Alas, this was WCW, so they had to ruin things by making it a gimmick match.

That gimmick was that 3 Count’s gold record was hanging above the ring along with a contract. If 3 Count got the contract, it was business as usual for WCW’s resident boy band.

If The Jung Dragons got it, however, then Shane Helms, Shannon Moore, and Evan Karagious could never sing again.

The problem here wasn’t so much that the gimmick was silly (though it was), it was that the two inexperienced teams clearly weren’t ready to structure this kind of match.

Despite a few good spots, the whole thing came off as a sloppy, uncoordinated mess.

At various points, members of The Jung Dragons would scale the top of the ladder, remember that they weren’t supposed to win, and then just kind of stand there, obviously waiting for a member of 3 Count to get into position and knock them off the ladder.

Eventually, 3 Count retrieved the contract and, since they already had the gold record after Abbott stole it from the Dragons, that meant they won the match.

This was not good at all.
Your Winners: The Jung Dragons

Afterwards, Tank Abbott and his exposed nipples ran off with 3 Count’s contract and gold record, leaving the three men confused.

Word to Yo’ Mutha

Out in the back, The Filthy Animals pleaded with Commissioner Ernest Miller to let them referee tonight’s upcoming tag team title match.

In exchange, the animals promised that they could guarantee Miller won his match with The Great Muta tonight.

The Cat agreed and fist-bumped every member of the group besides Disco Inferno, who was ordered to leave after dropping a cringe-worthy ‘word to yo mutha’ on the Commissioner.

The Great Muta vs. Ernest ‘The Cat’ Miller

The Great Muta, one of the greatest wrestlers of all time.

Ernest Miller, not so much.

Though it was never really explained why the two were fighting, the announcers did vaguely insinuate that it had something to do with Muta being part of Vampiro’s Dark Carnival.

Whatever the reason, the actual match wasn’t terrible, and that’s about the best thing that could be said about it.

It was the sort of thing that might be used to kill a few minutes on Nitro. That’s not to say it was bad, but let’s put it this way, if you used it as a bathroom break then you weren’t going to miss anything.

Toward the end, Tygress came out to keep The Filthy Animal’s promise by jumping off the top rope and waving a steel chair in the vicinity of Muta’s head.

The Japanese legend kicked out of the subsequent pin attempt, but Miller won anyway a few moments later.

Blah.
Your Winner: Ernest Miller

Backstage, Buff Bagwell went looking for his mum, who Schiavone told us would be up for grabs tonight in a ‘Judy Bagwell on a Pole’ match.

Yep.

Judy Bagwell on a Pole Match
Positively Kanyon vs. Buff Bagwell

Ok, let’s do this.

If Kanyon wins, he gets Judy Bagwell as his valet.

Still doing his best DDP impression after turning on Page back at The Great American Bash 2000, Kanyon drove a forklift to the ring with Momma Bagwell tied to it.

Taking to the microphone, Kanyon insisted that he’d searched the whole of Canada for a pole big enough to hold Buff’s mum but couldn’t find one.

As such, he declared that this was officially now a ‘Judy Bagwell on a Forklift’ match.

Whatever you want to call it, it wasn’t anything special.

Much like the previous Muta/Miller bout, there was nothing particularly offensive about Bagwell/Kanyon. It’s just that nothing interesting happened.

The most exciting moment came near the finish when former World Heavyweight Champion David Arquette came out to try and help Kanyon win.

He failed, of course.

Bagwell got a double Buff Blockbuster on both men, winning the match and, um, his mom.
Your Winner: Buff Bagwell

Post-match, Buff rescued his mother from the forklift truck and hugged her while his theme song sang about how sexy he was.

Only in a pro wrestling review will you read a sentence like that, ladies and gentlemen.

Speaking of hugs, Kanyon embraced Arquette after the match but then turned on him with a Kanyon (Diamond) Cutter.

Lance Storm: A Big F’N Deal

Out in the back, members of the Canadian police force and ‘secret service’ were shown flanking a huge limousine.

This was the kind of entrance you usually saw for Ric Flair or Hulk Hogan, but nope, it was just Lance Storm and his many titles.

After some time-killing banter from the announcers, it was on to the next match.

World Championship Wrestling World Tag Team Championship Four-Corners Match
WCW Tag Team Champions Kronik (Brian Adams & Bryan Clarke) vs. The Misfits in Action (General Rection & Corporal Cajun) vs. Mark Jindrack and Sean O’Haire vs. The Perfect Event (Shawn Stasiak & Chuck Palumbo)

Special referees: Rey Mysterio Jr., Juventud Guerrera, Disco Inferno & Tygress

Rey Mysterio Jr. And Juventud Guerrera came down wearing the tag team title belts. They weren’t the champions, they just came down wearing the titles because WCW did this sort of thing ALL THE TIME and yet nobody ever talks about.

Seriously, as I write this, I’ve covered every WCW PPV from January 1996 to August 2000 and I’ve lost count of the number of matches I’ve seen in which a guy who isn’t the champion will come out wearing the belt while the actual champion comes out acting like he doesn’t care that somebody else has his title.

The announcers never mention it. There’s no explanation for it in any pre-match video. It just kind of happens and we’re all just expected to go with it because WCW that’s why.

Rant aside, The Filthy Animals were out here to referee. Yes, all of them.

Well, most of them. Konnan was out to do commentary and set about burying everybody the minute he got a headset on.

Seriously, this wasn’t him playing the heel, this was him being a d**k.

The minute Sean O’ Haire and Mark Jindrack came out, he lay into them for being ‘terrible’ and lacking charisma. It didn’t come off as his character trying to put his own team over at the youngster’s expense, it came over as Charles Ashenoff not giving a damn and just burying the roster.

Before the bell, Disco Inferno told the combatants that he would be the in-ring official while his Filthy Animals colleagues would be the outside officials.

In fairness, Disco’s pre-match mic work was the first entertaining thing on the show.

The match itself was the second.

The best contest on the show so far, this was a well put together match that managed to avoid turning into the kind of overcrowded clusterfunk that bouts with this many people descend into it.

Eventually, it became apparent that The Filthy Animals were conspiring to have Jindrack and O’Haire win, not because they were in cahoots, but because the Animals got a shot at the titles the following night and thought the newcomers would be the easiest to beat.

Unfortunately for them, it wasn’t to be.

The most popular team in the match, Kronik dominated the closing moments and got the win thanks to Chavo Guerrero.

After Disco made one too many slow-counts, Chavo ran in, decked the disco-dancing fool and stole his referees' shirt in order to make the count.

I don’t know about you, but I love that the wrestling logic which dictates that the only thing you need in order to be an officially recognised referee for a match is the right shirt.

Also, at one point, Vampiro and Muta ran in and attacked Kronik. This would be important later.
Your Winners and Still WCW Tag Team Champions: Kronik

Out in the back, Jeff Jarrett was upset that Pamela Paulshock was interviewing him rather than Mean Gene Okerlund.

Jarrett didn’t like Okerlund or anything, he just liked referring to him as a ‘Jurassic Slap Ass’ and seemed a bit cross that he wouldn’t get to do so.

Responding to Paulshock’s question about tonight’s main event, Jarrett gave the same promo he always gave in this era:

‘I’m going to win the match because I’m the chosen one and I have all the stroke, slappy slap ass slapnuts.’

Strap Match
The Franchise Shane Douglas (w/ Torrie Wilson) vs. Billy Kidman

Sadly, there was no yapapi involved in this strap match. There was Torrie Wilson, however, which is probably better.

The future WWE Hall of Famer had joined forces with Shane Douglas at last month’s Bash at the Beach, raising the ire of her former lover Billy Kidman.

As a result, Kidman had returned to he babyface locker room after his ill-advised heel run saw him get his ass handed to him by Hulk Hogan.

Tonight, the two men would compete in a strap match in which you won by pinning your opponent, making the whole stipulation -like almost everything in WCW at this time- pointless and stupid.

Before the bell, The Franchise cut a compelling promo in which he mocked Kidman for not being man enough to keep Torrie satisfied.

As a character, Douglas was on form, and his promo proved to be 500 times more enjoyable than anything he and Kidman did in the ring.

Nothing either man did looked like it was effective and the crowd didn’t care about any of it.

After a few minutes of nothing, Kidman won and the crowd continued not to care.
Your Winner: Kidman

In fact, they only cared when Kidman took the strap and gave Torrie a spanking, but then they stopped caring again when The Franchise attacked and tried to hang his rival in the corner.

Eventually, Big Vito ran to the rescue and proved to be the most over person in the whole thing.

Vito was attacked by Reno (remember him? Me neither) but saw him off too.

Meanwhile, Booker T was shown arriving at the arena and unloading his bag out of his car. This wasn’t very exciting, but it’s a good job the camera crew were there to film it otherwise we would’ve missed Jeff Jarrett sneak attacking the champion.

Back in the arena, this happened...

Mud Rip the Clothes Off Match
Major Gunns vs. Miss Hancock

During this era, both major promotions would put the female members of their roster in ‘wrestling matches’ which were little more than thinly-disguised efforts to show as much female flesh as they could get away with and please the excitable men in the audience.

It rarely worked.

Though the women themselves may have been stunners, watching them frolic around in their knickers was usually more embarrassing than sexy.

This match was a rare exception.

Both Major Gunns and Miss Hancock were gorgeous women and made sure that they flaunted it as they worked together to put on a neat little wrestling match the likes of which you might expect to see at a pro wrestling school at the end of the first month’s training.

That’s not a criticism either. Neither woman was a full-time wrestler, and yet nothing they did in the ring looked terrible.

Hancock even bust out an impressive handspring-elbow which was even better than the one legendary veteran The Great Muta had performed earlier.

They did all this while making sure we all got a good glimpse of their bums as often as possible.

It was better to focus on this rather than the rules of the match because, unsurprisingly, they didn’t make sense.

Both girls wore camouflage and at various points would rip items of clothing off one another as in your standard ‘strip-u-nekki’ match.

The announcers even told us that the girls were supposed to strip off the camouflaged items.

But that wasn’t how you won the match. You won the match by pinfall, so who knows what the kayfabe logic behind the stripping actually was.

There was also a mud bath and, inevitably, both girls ended up in it.

There, Miss Hancock looked to have the match won, but then doubled over in pain, allowing Gunns to roll her up for the three count.
Your Winner: Major Gunns

Afterwards, everybody, including Gunns, acted really concerned about Miss Hancock, who fell over clutching her stomach.

The announcers also did that horrible thing of trying to convince us that this wasn’t ‘real’ without actually coming out and yelling ‘BUT EVERYTHING ELSE YOU’VE SEEN IS A WORK!!’

They even dropped the Miss Hancock gimmick and started calling her Stacy Kiebler as she was wheeled off on a stretcher.

Get it? It wasn’t Miss Hancock going to the hospital, it was Stacy Kiebler because this was REAL!

Later, this would turn out to be the start of a pregnancy angle that nobody wanted and hardly anybody remembers.

Sting’s Nine Lives Have Run Out

Back at Bash at the Beach 2000, Vampiro had beaten The Demon in a ridiculous graveyard match.

Taking the old adage that ‘if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em’ literally, the Gene Simmons impersonator had enlisted in Vampiro’s Dark Carnival, a faction which also included an out-of-shape Great Muta.

Backstage, Pamela Paulshock reminded Vampiro that no matter what he did to Sting, the WCW Icon always bounces back.

Tonight, Vamp’ insisted that Sting’s ‘nine lives’ had run out and that Demon would beat him tonight.

The Demon vs. Sting

This wasn’t even a match. Sting descended from the rafters like he used to do in 1997 and beat his opponent in about 30 seconds.

Demon didn’t even get an offensive move in.
Your Winner: Sting

Afterwards, Vamp and Muta came out to attack Sting, but Kronik came out to the rescue.

Seeking revenge from earlier, Brian Adams and Bryan Clarke battered Vamp and Muta while Sting just casually walked off and Demon stood around looking lost.

The tag champs challenged The Dark Carnival to a match later on in the show and even offered to put their tag titles on the line.

Though we never heard from Vamp or Muta, the announcers told us the match was official.

World Championship Wrestling United States Canadian Heavyweight Championship
WCW Canadian Champion Lance Storm vs. Mike Awesome

Mike Awesome was amazing and it’s a crime that WCW took a giant crap on his career towards the end.

Tonight, however, he was still pretty much the same Mike Awesome we knew ana loved as he went up against Canadian Hero Lance Storm.

Storm, who got the full Goldberg entrance with security and all, came to the ring with his three titles and awesome theme music.

He then proceeded to cut a typically dry promo in which he claimed that he was happy to finally be wrestling in front of the great Canadian fans rather than those stupid, terrible Americans.

Naturally, Lance was insanely over here. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that this was probably the most over he would ever be in his career.

You know who else was over?

Bret ‘The Hitman’ Hart. The crowd chanted The Hitman’s name after the Canadian Champion announced that he had recruited a Canadian legend to serve as special referee and ensure that the ‘Canadian rule book’ was adhered to.

You could literally hear the crowd becoming deflated when that Canadian legend turned out not to be Bret Hart but Jacques Rougeau.

Last seen on PPV back at Wrestlemania 14, Rougeau stood by as both champ and challenger entered into a spirited performance.

The two ECW alumni delivered a crisp, solid wrestling match with some seriously high-impact moves.

It’s a testament to how good Mike Awesome was that he blatantly slipped off the top rope at one point but landed on his feet, played it cool and delivered a hard clothesline as though that had been the plan all along.

Awesome eventually won the match thanks to a huge sit down powerbomb, but Rougeau declared that Canadian rules required a five-count.

Awesome then won again, this time by making the champion submit with a Dragon sleeper but again the former Mountie got involved, insisting that titles couldn’t change hands on a submission in Canada.

Undeterred, Awesome beat Storm a third time and pinned him for the five count, only for Jacques to make it a Texas death match in which the champion had til the count of ten to get up after being pinned.

Had this taken place on US soil it would have no doubt infuriated the live crowd, but the Canadians loved it and that only served to make it even more entertaining.

Eventually, both men crashed through a table and Jacques declared that the first man to his feet would be the winner.

Naturally, he decked the challenger to prevent him from getting up, allowing Lance Storm to retain his title.

If that sounds overbooked, it was to an extent, but it was so much fun I’ll let it slide.

By far the best thing on the card so far by a thousand miles.
Your Winner and Still WCW Canadian Champion: Lance Storm

Afterwards, Bret Hart’s music hit and the one Canadian hero everyone really wanted to see made his way to ring.

Known for having a bee in his bonnet about dodgy officiating, it looked as though The Hitman would call out his fellow countrymen for their shenanigans, but instead, he smiled and gave them both a big hug.

Nash is Going Over Steiner

Hey, you know who we haven’t seen enough of tonight? Vampiro.

Not to worry. Kids, if you send in a copy of your cable bill showing that you purchased New Blood Rising, WCW would send you a free Vampiro t-shirt.

Cool, right?

Speaking of which, former Big Daddy Cool Kevin Nash was standing by backstage with Pamela Paulshock.

Pamela noted that Goldberg hadn’t yet arrived for his scheduled three-way dance with Nash and Scott Steiner, but Big Sexy didn’t care.

In a short but decent promo, Nash claimed that he was only in pro wrestling for the money and the title and that he would beat Steiner anyway tonight to get a title shot.

Actually, he didn’t say he’d beat him, he said he was ‘going over’ him because according to WCW logic there was nothing cooler than using insider terms on live TV.

World Championship Wrestling World Tag Team Championship
WCW Tag Team Champions Kronik (Brian Adams & Bryan Clarke) vs. The Dark Carnival (Vampiro & The Great Muta)

Oh look, it’s Vampiro and Great Muta again. Haven’t seen them for a while.

Also, I just realised that The Dark Carnival’s theme music was the ICP song Take it from the WCW Mayhem album.

Like many WCW bouts from this time, the best you could probably say about this one is that it was OK.

Like, there was nothing particularly bad about it, but at the same time it was kinda meh and, after the riotous entertainment of Storm/Awesome, the crowd certainly didn’t care.

Towards the end, Muta accidentally sprayed referee Mickie Jay with the green mist, giving Harris Brothers the chance to run to the ring and beat up Kronik while the referee sold the powder to the eye like he’d just been shot.

Muta then hit a moonsault, Mickie counted to three, and we had new champions.
Your Winners and NEW WCW Tag Team Champions: The Dark Carnival

Backstage, Booker T told Pamela Paulshock that Jeff Jarrett would have to kill him if he wanted his title.

This was followed by a brief video package for our upcoming three-way.

Three-Way Match
Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner (w/ Midajah) vs. Goldberg

If they’d just left this alone as a straight forward singles match between the two former nWo members, it would have been a solid big man match.

However, this was WCW, so they couldn’t help but mess things up by throwing some
Goldberg nonsense in there.

The match was billed as a triple threat, but Goldberg didn’t come out when he was announced, leaving Steiner and Nash to go at it.

Eventually, Big Bill arrived, sporting bandaged ribs ala DDP after a kayfabe motorcycle accident.

We then got a few minutes of the advertised three-way before Goldberg decided that he didn’t want to be powerbombed by Big Sexy and ‘went off script’ by walking back.

He was confronted by Vince Russo, who demanded the former champion get back in the ring. Instead; Bill yelled ‘F**k you!’ Very loudly at Russo and it’s amazing that the WWE Network hasn’t censored that out.

Back in the ring, Steiner and Nash continued to brawl, giving us a decent effort that Big Sexy eventually won with the powerbomb.
Your Winner: Kevin Nash

After a video package for the Booker T/Jeff Jarrett match, it was onto our main event.

World Championship Wrestling World
Heavyweight Championship
WCW World Heavyweight Champion Booker T vs. Jeff Jarrett

Though it was nowhere near to main event standards, this was otherwise a decent match.

It would have been even better if Booker T had remembered how to sell.

After slamming the champion’s leg in a car door earlier in the show, Jarrett spent the first two-thirds of the match working the same body part.

Booker was fine with this when he was on the defence? But as soon as he went on the attack, it was as though his leg made an instant, miraculous recovery.

It was no noticeable and so stupid that it really took you out of the match, so much so that it was hard to care when the final third broke down into multiple red bumps and overbooking.

Booker and his fully healed legs won with the Book End, but the crowd were apparently so fed up that they started hurling garbage into the ring.
Your Winner and Still WCW Champion: Booker T

Afterwards, the champ suddenly remembered his leg was supposed to hurt and started staggering off.

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For some reason, I had high hopes for New Blood Rising.

Alas, all such hopes were buried under big, dirty sheets of mediocrity.

Check out the stupidly fun Lance Storm/Mike Awesome stuff, but otherwise, avoid this one.

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For other year 2000 pro wrestling reviews see:

• WWF Royal Rumble 2000
• WCW Souled Out 2000
• WCW Superbrawl 2000
• WWF No Way Out 2000
• WCW Uncensored 2000
• WWF Wrestlemania 2000
• WCW Spring Stampede 2000
• WWF Backlash 2000
• WWF Insurrexion 2000
• WCW Slamboree 2000
• WWF Judgement Day 2000
• WCW The Great American Bash 2000
• WWF King of the Ring 2000
• WCW Bash at the Beach 2000
• WWF Fully Loaded 2000

Be the first to catch the latest Retro Pro Wrestling reviews by following on Facebook or Twitter @RetroPWrestling.

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EVENT REVIEW: Saturday Night's Main Event 1 (1985)

May 10, 1985 (aired May 11, 1985)
Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York

Say what you will about Wrestlemania 36, there's one thing we can all probably agree on:

The Firefly Fun House match was batsh*t crazy.

Full of references to wrestling's past, the John Cena/Bray Wyatt was a montage of retro mayhem from start to finish.

In between the Ruthless Aggression callbacks and that bizarre nod to the nWo, one scene, in particular, cast our stars in the full-on eighties glory of one Saturday Night's Main Event.

And if that isn't a good enough reason to dive back to 1985 and review the first-ever edition of the WWF's occasional NBC special, I don't know what is.

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Let's get to it.

Welcome to Saturday Night's Main Event

We began tonight's show with words from the biggest stars of the Rock 'n' Wrestling Connection.

First, Wendi Richter received a pep talk from her manager, Cyndi Lauper. That wily ring veteran Lauper encouraged the women's champion to avoid getting her hair pulled and 'keep [her] trunk strong.' in her match tonight with The Fabulous Moolah.

Then, Hulk Hogan let us know that Mr T would be in his corner for his upcoming match with Bob Orton Jr.

This was followed by a delightful eighties intro, complete with shots of the company's biggest stars hitting their best moves while the fantastic theme song Obsession by Animotion played on.

Our announcers tonight were the incomparable duo of Vince McMahon and Jesse 'The Body' Ventura.

While McMahon was pumped for Hogan's title defence against Orton, Ventura seemed more excited about the six man tag team match that was about to take place.

The U.S Express are Fired Up

Before we got to the action, Mean Gene Okerlund stood by for an interview with Barry Windham, Mike Rotunda and Ricky Steamboat.

Windham was upset that their match tonight wasn't for the tag team titles while Captain Lou warned the heel manager Classie Freddie Blassie to stay out of his way.

As old-school eighties promos went, this was good stuff.

Six-Man Tag Team Match
George 'The Animal' Steel and WWF Tag Team Champions The Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff (w/ Classie Freddie Blassie) vs. Ricky Steamboat and The U.S Express (Barry Windham & Mike Rotunda)

Thank goodness for the talent of the babyfaces or this match would have been a disaster.

People scolded the decision to put The Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff in a match at the ill-fated Heroes of Wrestling PPV because they were in such poor shape then, but here, 14 years earlier, they honestly weren't much better.

At one point, Ricky Steamboat hit both men with a pair of arm drags and I'd be surprised if either man went more than a millimetre off the floor.

Still, Steamboat, Windham, and Rotunda made up for it with their talent and popularity.

After a short but serviceable match, Volkoff and Sheik abandoned their partner George Steel (who was entirely miscast as a heel), leaving him to get rolled up by Windham and pinned.
Your Winners: The U.S Express and Ricky Steamboat

Post-match, Sheik and Volkoff attacked Steele, but he fought back and saw them off before seeking solace in the embrace of his former manager, Lou Albano, effectively turning face again.

As the dastardly heels made their way backstage, they were stopped by Gene Okerlund who demanded an explanation.

Blassie declared that Steele hadn't made the tag when he was supposed to because -insult of all insults- he was a fruitcake.

Harsh, Blassie, way harsh.

Piper's Pit

Up next, we returned to the ring were "two of the baddest dudes in the World Wrestling Federation" (Vince's words), Rowdy Roddy Piper and Cowboy Bob Orton were standing by an episode of Piper's Pit.

Their guest this evening was Piper's Wrestlemania 1 tag team partner, Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorff. The two got together to discuss their big 'Mania loss to Mr T. & Hulk Hogan. Of course, I say discuss, what I really mean is that Piper called Orndorff a loser and blamed him for the big loss.

Naturally, Mr. Wonderful attacked, turning babyface in the process, but was outnumbered and eventually overwhelmed by Piper and Orton.

Not all of Rowdy Roddy's Piper's Pit segments have aged well, but this was good stuff, especially when Orndorff responded to Piper's invitation to sit down by saying "ladies first," getting a huge pop from the live crowd.

This is For My Mother Brother

With that out of the way, Piper and Orton stayed in the ring, waiting for Orton's big title shot against The Hulkster. Before he got to the ring, Hogan gave an interview to Mean Gene. With Mother's Day coming up, Hogan dedicated his match to his Mother Brother though I assume he meant, you know, his mother, brother.

World Wrestling Federation Championship
WWF Champion Hulk Hogan (w/ Mr. T) vs. Ace Cowboy Bob Orton

The match itself was your typical Hulk Hogan 1980s title defence with most of the actual excitement turned down a few notches.

Hogan attacked Orton's cast-covered arm for a while, the Cowboy cheated his way to an advantage and beat up on the champion, then Hogan blocked a superplex attempt, pushed Orton to the ma, legdropped him and pinned him. It wasn't much, but it was fairly inoffensive at least.
Your Winner and Still WWF Champion: Hulk Hogan

Afterwards, the heels attacked the faces, but  Paul Orndorff came to the rescue, cementing his face turn.

Cyndi Lauper is Banned From Ringside

Before our big women's title match, challenger The Fabulous Moolah told Mean Gene that due to Cyndi Lauper constantly getting involved in Wendi Richter's matches, WWF officials had banned the singer from ringside. What's more, Moolah had the official paperwork to prove it.

Offering a response, Cyndi wanted to remind us about Moolah interfering in Richter's match  at "Wrestling Mania." She was, of course, talking about her beating Leilani Kai for the title at Wrestlemania 1.

World Wrestling Federation Women's Championship
WWF Women's Champion Wendi Richter (w/ David Wolff) vs. The Fabulous Moolah

Lauper made her way to the ring anyway but was ordered away from ringside and forced to watch the match on a tiny monitor while her manager, David Wolff, hung around at ringside doing nothing of note.

The match was fairly poor, at least compared to the fun outing Richer had with Kai at 'Mania, but still, this was a different time and the standards were completely different.

After a few minutes of very litle excitement, Richter rolled up Moolah to retain her title.
Your Winner and Still Women's Champion: Wendi Richter

Out in the entranceway, Junkyard Dog told Mean Gene Okerlund that he was bring his mom, Bertha, with him for his upcoming match.

The Duke of Dorchester, Pete Doherty vs. Junkyard Dog (w/ His Mother)

On obvious squash match, this was made all the better by the fact that Pete Doherty was one of the more entertaining jobbers of his time, always boasting enough personality to mask the fact that very little of note actually happened from a wrestling perspective.

To the shock of absolutely noone, JYD slammed Doherty to the mat after just a few minutes and pinned him clean.
Your Winner: Junkyard Dog

Aftewards, the JYD and his momma boogied out in the ring

Cyndi Lauper's Mother's Day Party

Out in the back, Cyndi Lauper hosted a Mother's Day party. Well, they called it a party, it was more a bunch of wrestlers and some of their moms (or fake mom stand-ins) all stood side-by-side in a line like they were in the weirdest police line-up ever.

Freddie Blassie came with a young woman who he claimed to be his mother yet was clearly 30 years his junior, a gag that Jerry Lawler would later use at In Your House 1 ten years later.

Meanwhile, Cyndi Lauper's mom told Mean Gene that she was glad the party was happening because now moms the world over could be recognised for the hard work they do, as though her daughter was the one who had invented the very concept of Mother's Day.

Finally, The Fabulous Moolah stormed in, irate at not being invited to the party, and got into a shouting match with Lauper.

In keeping with that ancient pro wrestling tradition which states that any time there is a cake, somebody's face must destroy it, the segment finished with a skirmish that led to both Moolah and Mean Gene going through the cake.

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So, that was that. This is normally the point in these reviews were I wrap things up with some kind of final statement about the quality of the show, but it seems almost unfair to do that here.

Saturday Night's Main Event was very much a product of its time. It wasn't meant to stand the test of time as some landmark moment in history - it was meant to fill a bit of time when NBC weren't airing Saturday Night Live and entertain a few people, and to that end, it did it's job.

Sure, the match quality may not have been very remarkable, but at least the whole thing made much more sense than whatever the Firefly Fun House was supposed to be.

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For other 1985 pro wrestling reviews see:

• WWF Wrestlemania 1 
• WWF - The Wrestling Album (Track-by-Track review)

Be the first to catch the latest Retro Pro Wrestling reviews by following on Facebook or Twitter @RetroPWrestling.

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