Saturday, 16 September 2017

TV REVIEW: TNA Impact - January 15th, 2009

TNA Impact Logo
Orlando, Florida

In the wake of their first pay per view of 2009, TNA Wrestling returned to the Impact Zone for another edition of TNA Impact.

(NOTE: This review was originally written when the January 15th, 2009 episode of TNA Impact actually aired. I discovered a number of my old TNA posts in my archives recently and wanted to share them on RPW, so here we are.)

Here's what happened:

Main Event Mafia Ready for War

To open the show, Kurt Angle, World Champion, Sting, Legends Champion, Booker T, Sharmell and Scott Steiner make their way to the ring dressed ready for combat.

As usual, Kurt takes to the microphone and talks about how good the Main Event Mafia really are, before announcing that tonight's main event will see him taking on AJ Styles with Mick Foley as special enforcer. Is it just me, or is the 'Mick Foley as special enforcer' thing growing old really fast?

There's a surprise in store for the 'Mafia boys though, as Hernandez makes his way to cash in his Feast or Fired World Heavyweight title match against 'The Icon' Sting.

That match is next.


World Heavyweight Championship Match: Sting (champion) vs. Hernandez

With the Main Event Mafia surrounding the ring, Sting and Hernandex lock up in the corner before Hernandez starts to overpower The Icon. This slowly transforms into a decent match, with a sadly predictable ending; the Mafia jump in the ring and attack Hernandez.
Your Winner by disqualification: Hernandez (Sting retains title).

In the aftermath, the Mafia begin to attack Hernandez, with referee Shane Sewell (thought he was fired as a referee?) trying to help and Homicide doing the same.  But it's of little use as LAX and AJ Styles – who also came down to help – get their backsides handed to them until Team 3D leg it down to the ring and make the save, putting Angle through a table to end a pretty intense segment.

Team 3D speak

The crowd are going wild for Brother Ray & Brother Devon as the latter reminds us that his whole career has revolved around him and Brother Ray working as a tag team. But despite winning all their championships, they’re yet to prove how good they are in singles matches.

At Against All Odds, we’re apparently going to get Brother Devon vs. Kurt Angle and Brother Ray against World Champion, Sting.

The Dudleys are good on the microphone and really get this segment across well.

   

The Beautiful People are Stupid

We’re backstage with Lauren, The Beautiful People and Cute Kip.

Angelina Love and Velvet Sky are apparently so stupid that they firmly believe they’re going to the White House to be a part of Governor Sarah Palin’s Cabinet, despite the fact that the whole world has been talking non-stop about Barack Obama recently. Even Kip’s persistence that this whole thing is a joke doesn’t deter them, and he storms off in a huff.

Pointless, silly and wasting valuable time, things like this bug your writer to no end.

Le’me at ‘Em, Le’me At ‘Em

In the Main Event Mafia’s lockeroom, Kurt Angle is pretty worse for wear after being put through a table and is unable to compete. Scott Steiner begs Angle to let him fight Styles instead, but the Olympic Gold Medalist simply gets angry and makes everyone leave.


The Beautiful People are Still Stupid

Back in the Impact Zone, The Beautiful People (sans Kip James) and ‘The Governor’ make their way to the ring so that we can make this thing official and get Love & Sky off to Washington.

And it’s here where, after months of stupidity, the pay off finally comes.

Before long, Taylor Wilde and Roxxi make an appearance and have something to say.

This whole thing has been a rouse (no kidding!), set up by Wilde and Roxxi to extract revenge on the two ‘blonde bimbos’ for, well, being really bad people I suppose.

At least, that’s what you think they’re getting at as a whole load of poo falls from the ceiling and drenches The Beautiful People.

As pay offs go, it’s hardly the best, but hopefully this will spell the end of these awful segments.

Lauren with The Kongtourage 

Despite the silly name, it’s nonetheless refreshing to see an all-female stable for a change.

Made up of TNA Women’s Knockout Champion, Awesome Kong, her manager, Raisha Saeed and their lackeys, Rhaka Khan and Sojourner Bolt, The Kongtourage are ready for action next, but not before Bolt gives Lauren a good telling off for calling her ‘So Jo’.

Six Woman Knockout Street Fight: ODB, Roxxi and Taylor Wilde vs. The Kongtourage (Raisha Saeed, Rhaka Khan and Sojourner Bolt).

Whilst there’s nothing especially wrong with this match, when you already saw pretty much the same thing at Genesis last week, it’s hard to keep your attention. Even adding the ‘street fight’ tag and getting the good girls dressed in their street clothes fails to make this anything other than a bit of filler.

In the end, Roxxi picks up the win with the Voodoo Drop on Khan.
Your Winners: ODB, Roxxi and Sojourner Bolt.

After the match, precisely nothing happens. Which is silly, because this spot could’ve been used to generate more interest in the upcoming ODB/Kong title clash.

Relax, Brother.

Returning to the Main Event Mafia locker room, Booker T tells Kurt Angle to relax and that the ‘Mafia will take care of business tonight.

TNA Tag Team Championship Number One Contenders Match: Matt Morgan & Abyss vs. Lethal Consequences (‘Black Machismo’ Jay Lethal and Consequences Creed.) 

I’m not sure if that’s the official team name for Consequences Creed & Jay Lethal, but I’ve heard it mentioned and I’m sticking with.

Regardless as to what you call them, Lethal Consequences put in an entertaining effort against their larger foes, but unfortunately it’s overshadowed by the growing friction between The Blue Print Matt Morgan and The Monster Abyss.

It’s that same friction that ultimately gives Creed and Machismo the win, with Abyss inadvertently powerbombing Lethal atop a prone Matt Morgan. With confusion in the air, Jay simply lies there and gets the win.
Your Winners and new Number One Contenders to the TNA Tag Team Titles: Lethal Consequences (Jay Lethal & Consequences Creed).

In the post-match, Morgan and Abyss predictably come to huge, clubbing blows, so much so that even an army of referees and officials can’t stop them.

Eeeny, Meeny, Miny, er, Mo.

Once again, we find ourselves in the Main Event Mafia locker room, where Booker T and Scott Steiner are arguing over who gets to wrestle AJ Styles tonight.

Like the grown men they are, the two decide to settle things with a game of Eeny, Meeny, Miny with Steiner even going so far as to proclaim: “Hey, I’m good at Eeny, Meeny, Miny Mo.” (of course you are, old man).

Yet before their game can get anywhere, TNA Management’s Jim Cornette (who just seems to be there for no real reason), declares that Steiner will be the one in the main event tonight, and that the rest of the ‘Mafia have to stay away.

Jeremy Borash with Mick Foley.

Mick Foley tells JB that whilst he welcomes Cornette’s gesture, he actually wants the Main Event Mafia to show up tonight. You know, so he can punch them and what have you.

Main Event: ‘Big Poppa Pump’ Scott Steiner vs. ‘The Phenomenol’ AJ Styles.

In an enjoyable main event, AJ Styles manages to drag Steiner through a good match with a somewhat surprising finish.

As Special Enforcer, Mick Foley gets on the ring apron to apparently try and slap Mr. Socko on Steiner, it turns out this was just a ploy to distract the referee long enough for Steiner’s former protégé, Petey Williams to make his TNA return and plant Big Poppa Pump with a sweet-looking missile drop kick.

AJ then hits the Pele and gets the one, two and three.
Your Winner: AJ Styles

In the post-match, Steiner and Williams stare each other down and trade words to end the show.

As Impacts go, this week’s edition wasn’t a bad show from TNA, but it could have still been better. Though the rivalry between the Main Event Mafia and the TNA Front Line continued to evolve, it did so at the expense of answering a few unresolved questions from Genesis.

Namely; if Shane Sewell was fired as a referee on the last Impact but reinstated as a wrestler, how come he’s back in the zebra outfit and officiating matches like nothing happened?

After having a gripping match at Genesis, are the Motor City Machine Guns still the best of friends, or is there tension between them now that Shelley got the X-Belt?

Are Beer Money Inc. pleased to be tag champs again? And how come ODB and Awesome Kong don’t seem bothered by one another half as much as they should be?

Ultimately, it’s all very frustrating. TNA have proved that when it comes to putting on pay per view events, they do a fine job, but when it comes to actually promoting those events properly on TV, there’s still lots of room for improvement.



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Retro Pro Wrestling

New reviews of classic WWF/WWE events recalling every moment from Wrestlemania 1 - 30. You'll also find reviews of WCW, ECW, TNA and the occasional indie event, along with a look at old school magazines, merchandise and more.