Mega Powers Running Wild!

The legendary 'Macho man' Randy Savage teams up with 'The Immortal' Hulk Hogan to take on Ted Dibiase and Andre The Giant in the first ever WWF Summerslam!

Shawn Micahels vs. Mankind

The Heartbreak Kid defends the WWF Championship against Mankind in a thrilling main event at WWF In Your House: Mind Games.

The Birth of the nWo

From Hulk Hogan's shocking turn at WCW Bash at the Beach 1996 to the addition of Ted Dibiase, THe Giant Syxx and more, relive the very beginning of the New World Order.

Austin 3:16 Says I Just Kicked Your Ass

It's one of the most famous promos of all time; Stone Cold Steve Austin wins the 1996 King of The Ring and serves notice on all the WWF superstars. Check it out in our complete review

Wrestlemania 12 Review

The boyhood dream comes true as Shawn Michaels battles champion Bret 'The Hitman' Hart in a classic 1-hour iron man match. Plus, Diesel vs. Undertaker and more.

WCW Fall Brawl 1996 Review

Was Sting in cahoots with the New World Order? Would Lex Luger be able to get along with the Four Horsemen as they faced the nWo in War Games? Find out in this review

Thursday, 5 March 2020

PPV REVIEW: The Great American Bash 2000

WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - event poster
June 11, 2000
Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland

Say what you will about Vince Russo's reputation as a booker, with the oft-reviled writer at the helm, World Championship Wrestling spent the first half of 2000 enjoying their best run of PPV shows in years.

Sure, the horrible finishes and blatant disregard for standard pro wrestling tropes had made the previous month's Slamboree 2000  a frustrating and perplexing experience, but much of the in-ring action had been solid and the show as a whole left you with the smallest amount of hope that the company might yet be able to turn things around.

Of course, it speaks volumes about the state of WCW at the time that the show -featuring WCW World Heavyweight Champion David Arquette in the main event- had so many things wrong with and yet was still better than a lot of the company's recent output, but honestly, at this stage in the game, being able to say anything positive at all about the company was nothing short of a miracle.





Would Russo and WCW be able to continue their hot streak, or would it be back to nonsensical, frustrating, terrible business as usual?

Let's head to the Baltimore Arena to find out as World Championship Wrestling presents The Great American Bash 2000.

Goldberg is Back...But Also Not Booked

WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone, and Mark Madden called the show
What do you do if you're WCW and you have your hottest homegrown star, Bill Goldberg, returning to action after an injury?

Book him in a high-profile PPV match in order to generate interest and PPV buys?

Of course not, that would be logical and sensible.

If you're WCW, you have him return to much fanfare and save former rival Kevin Nash from a Rick Steiner/Tank Abbot beatdown. You then book Nash in the PPV main event for the world title and run an angle where Goldberg, the red hot star, is not only not booked in a match but is banned from the arena.

#BecauseWCW.

Tony Schiavone reminded us of all this nonsense before we cut live to the arena, where wimpy-looking policemen stood by, ready to arrest Big Bill if he dared show up.

This segued into our opening video package which told us about tonight's matches. Besides the Nash/Jeff Jarrett world title fight, we'd also see Ric Flair promising to retire forever (lol) if he lost against son David Flair, and Vampiro taking on Sting in a 'Human Torch' match in which the only way to win was to set your opponent on fire.

Pyro and crowd shots followed, accompanied by our official greeting from Schiavone and fellow announcers Scott Hudson and Mark Madden.

With that, it was right onto our opening contest.

World Championship Wrestling Cruiserweight Championship
WCW Cruiserweight Champion Leuitenant Loco (w/ General Rection, Major Stash, Corporal Cajun, and Major Gunns) vs. Disco Inferno (w/ Konnan, Rey Mysterio Jr., Juventud Guerrera, and Tygress)

WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - Konnan and Disco Inferno of The Filthy Animals
This was about as chaotic a mess as you could possibly get in four short minutes.

Prior to the bell, General Hugh G. Rection (Hugh Morrus), had his men Major Stash (Van Hammer), Corporal Cajun (Lash LeRoux), Major Gunns, and Cruiserweight Champion Leitenant Loco (Chavo Guerrero) fall in line. Chavo took to the microphone and pulled out a toy grenade that he threatened to use in his match.

Geddit? Cos he was loco!

Sigh.

Disco Inferno then came out wearing an LA Lakers uniform and accompanied by The Filthy Animals, who had taken in Disco Inferno for reasons which weren't really made clear.

The resulting match could have been a good one but with eight people at ringside, there was too much going on to really tell.

At one point, some crazy old man in an old-school military uniform came down to the ring and "had a heart attack" when Konnan yelled at him.

Back in the ring, Juvi -now doing his impersonation of The Rock- got up in the ring and tried to hit Loco with a People's Elbow. He missed, giving Corporal Cajun to get in the ring, blast Disco and drape Chavo's arm over Disco in full view of the referee.

The referee didn't care and counted the fall anyway.
Your Winner and Still WCW Cruiserweight Champion: Leutnenant Loco

WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - Major Gunns with her major gunsYuck. The only good thing about that match was Major Gunn's ass.

Speaking of whom, the Misfits in Action beauty stripped down to her bikini top in the post-match so that she could give the crazy old man mouth-to-mouth and revive him from his heart attack. As a thank you, the geriatric lunatic got up and sexually molested her.

Meanwhile, out in the back, policemen assured Eric Bischoff that the area was secure and everything was going according to plan. Ernest Miller was also there but did nothing of note.

Mean Gene Annoys the Mamalukes

WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - Mean Gene Okerlund interviews The Mamalukes
Backstage, the s**t-stirring Mean Gene Okerlund caused trouble among Big Vito and Johnny The Bull.

First, he offended them by calling them The Mamalukes (they wanted to be known as the Paisans), then, after giving the two a brief moment to talk about their upcoming tag match against Kronik, he caused trouble by questioning which one of them was really the WCW Hardcore Champion.

Big Vito wore the belt, but Okerlund wondered whether it was really Johnny The Bull who should be recognised as the champion.

This was entertaining enough, though didn't really add much to the show.

The Mamalukes (Big Vito & Johnny The Bull) vs. Kronik (Brian Adams & Bryan Clark)

This one started off as a reasonable effort match but soon disintegrated into a mess.

WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - Big Vito refused to take off the Hardcore Championship belt for The Mamalukes match with Kronik
Despite Big Vito caring more about the hardcore title (which he refused to take off), he and Johnny The Bull held their own against the veteran team of Bryan Clark and Brian Adams until Clark tossed Vito's title out of the ring.

The big man left the ring to get it, leaving Johnny The Bull to botch his way through a sloppy closing segment in which he looked completely lost and messed up a top rope moonsault.

Not that it mattered. Kronik soon planted him with their High Times finisher (a double chokeslam) and this one was done.
Your Winners: Kronik

This meant that Adams & Clark were now the number one contenders to the tag team titles currently held by Shawn Stasiak & Chuck Palumbo.

Page Has Something Special for Mike Awesome

Backstage, Diamond Dallas Page spoke to Pamela Paulshock's boobs about his upcoming Ambulance Match with Mike Awesome.

DDP, who I think was supposed to be the babyface here, called Paulshock a bimbo before disputing her claim that Awesome was a career-killer. Tonight, the Master of the Self High-Five promised that he had something special in store for Awesome.

Ambulance Match
Mike Awesome vs. Diamond Dallas Page

WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - Pamela Paulshock interviewed Diamond Dallas Page
Yes, this was in retribution for Awesome throwing Chris Kanyon off the top of the cage back at last month's Slamboree 2000. Yep, Awesome had 'killed' Kanyon's career.

Naturally then, Page's "something special," was Kanyon himself, who wore a halo and had to be pushed out onto the stage in a wheelchair. He stayed there while Dallas went to war with Awesome in what was a decent but by no means spectacular brawl.

At one point, Page's ex, Kimberley came to the ring and bashed Dallas across the back with a lead pipe, but she was dragged to the back by Miss Hancock for reasons which were never explained.

DDP made a comeback, giving us the highlight of the match when he hit the Diamond Cutter on Awesome from the top rope. The former ECW star was placed on a stretcher and wheeled up the ramp, but before he could be put in the ambulance, Eric Bischoff's music hit and he levelled DDP with a chair. While all this was going on, Kanyon made a miraculous recovery, standing out of his wheelchair, throwing off his halo and hitting DDP with a better-looking Diamond Cutter off the stage than the one Page himself had just used.

The #BecauseWCW of it all the continued when Kanyon helped the man who had 'killed' his career win the match by loading Page onto the stretcher.

Awesome and Kanyon had a great match back at Slamboree, and Page could turn it up a notch when he wanted to. Taking those two factors into consideration, this could have been a great match, but it sadly was not to be.
Your Winner: Mike Awesome

After Page was driven out of the arena in the ambulance, the announcers talked over what we'd seen so far, killing time until Booker T could zip line his way to the ring. I guess WCW were really going all out with this f**k you Owen Hart stuff, weren't they?

Boot Camp Match
G.I Bro vs. WCW Tag Team Champion 'PerfectShawn' Shawn Stasiak

WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - Booker T as G.I Bro faced Shawn Stasiak
I should mention here that Booker was working as G.I Bro, the gimmick he'd used when he first broke into professional wrestling and had revived here so that he could for some reason be part of the Misfits in Action stable.

Meanwhile, Shawn Stasiak was the WCW tag team champion but was fighting Booker T here for reasons which were never explained. Not content with stealing Curt Hennig's gimmick, 'PerfectShawn' dressed up in camo -face paint and all- for this boot camp match.

In case you were wondering, Boot Camp is basically Last Man Standing, beat-the-ten-count rules.

At first, the whole thing started as one of the better matches on the card but soon turned into one, long, sleeper-hold-filled snooze fest that elicited a loud "boring" chant from the Baltimore faithful.

Towards the end, Stasiak's tag team partner, Chuck Palumbo, came out with a flex bar he'd stolen from Lex Luger. The duo used it to beat up G.I Bro and got a nine-count, but apparently, the WCW tag team scene was so poor that its champions could be single-handily beaten up by one dude.

That dude was Booker T, and he won the match.
Your Winner: G.I Bro.

WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - Mean Gene Okerlund interviews Kanyon
Out in the back, Kanyon was seen rummaging through some clothes. I'm not sure if they were his, or if his recent injury meant that he'd fallen on such hard times he had to steal them from somebody else's suitcase.

Either way, we'd never find out for sure because he was accosted by Mean Gene, who wanted to know one thing:

Why?

Because Eric Bischoff visited Kanyon in the hospital more than anyone else and told him that all he had to do to get DDP's spot was to take him out. Gleefully, Kanyon gloated about doing just that, but Okerlund wasn't so sure the former Mortis had achieved his goal. After all, we were shown Page breaking out of the ambulance, punching a defenceless EMT (remember: DDP = babyface), and going off.

As he wandered into the parking lot, Goldberg made a subtle and discreet entrance in a huge monster truck with his name branded on it.

Back in the arena, Kanyon didn't seem too bothered by any of this, and declared himself to be "Positively Kanyon."

Hmm, doesn't quite have the same ring to it.

Tables Match
The Franchise Shane Douglas vs. The Wall

WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - Shane Douglas faced The Wall in a stupid tables match
You want a straight-forward wrestling match with no gimmicks? Well, this WCW, so f*** you.

And f***  you, Baltimore, because The Franchise Shane Douglas is a heel who hates you...

...or maybe he isn't.

Before the match, Douglas cut a confusing promo in which he started off by calling the crowd 'Baltimore pieces of s**t'.

Years later, the WWE Network would leave that line intact in all its uncensored glory. Douglas then took a moment to take shots at Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan, because he was physically incapable of opening his mouth without the Nature Boy's name coming out of it.

That, however, wasn't the confusing part.

The confusing part was that Douglas then decided that this was going to be a "Best of Five" tables match, and then appealed to the audience, turning to them and asking "Would Baltimore like to see that?" with all the enthusiasm and excitement of a babyface.

Then again, this was WCW, so I don't know why I'm surprised by such nonsense, or why I'm surprised that the announcers couldn't figure out that a "best of five" match meant that the first man to put his opponent through three tables won the whole thing.

Once the match got started, Douglas mostly got his ass kicked by The Wall and was chokeslamed through two tables in a matter of minutes. Whenever he did get in some offence, Douglas played to the crowd and received the obligatory EC-DUB! chant in response. I guess the Baltimore crowd really didn't mind being called pieces of s**t.

To be fair, the spirit of ECW was strong in its former champion tonight. Having gone through two tables, The Franchise made a miraculous and almost instantaneous recovery, luring The Wall out of the ring to a spot by the entranceway where two tables had been set up with a ladder placed in front of them. It was as though it was purposefully set up so that somebody could be pushed off the ladder and crash through the two tables or something.

Did I mention there were TWO tables? Of course, I did, because this was important, and also very obvious. There were two tables. Predictably, Douglas climbed to the top of the ladder. The wall chased after him with his back to the TWO tables and choked him out. As he did this, the announcers pointed out -several times- that there were only TWO tables.

Shane then produced some brass knuckles from his tights and punched The Wall with them. This caused The Wall to blatantly jump backwards and crash through the TWO tables.

That would even the score, right? Two tables a piece? Next man to put his opponent through a table wins?

Nope.

This was WCW, so f**k you, we're now going to say that The Wall went through three tables and Shane Douglas is the winner.
Your Winner: Shane Douglas

Afterwards, the people Shane Douglas had called pieces of s**t applauded him. The Wall then grabbed referee Slick Johnson by the throat and chokeslammed him through a table.

We then got a replay of the finish, with the announcers blatantly ignoring the fact that there were only two tables set up and pretending it was three.

This company, honestly.

Out in the back, Hulk Hogan pulled up in his car and headed to the arena. The Hulkster was adorned in full 'Hollywood' regalia, complete with massive black and white boas.

World Championship Wrestling United States Championship 'Asylum' Match
WCW United States Champion Scott Steiner (w/ Shakira & Midajah) vs. Tank Abbot & Rick Steiner

WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - Scott Steiner faced Tank Abbott and Rick Steiner
By this point, I'm starting to think that WCW could have cancelled this whole show, put up a screen that just said "F-U" for three hours, and it would have still been somehow more entertaining than the show Great American Bash 2000 was turning out to be.

To begin with, I'm not even sure if this was actually for the US title. I'll go ahead and say that it was, because why not? It's not like anything actually mattered here.

Then, we were told that the 'Asylum' match was Scott Steiner's signature bout so, to make things fair, Vince Russo and Eric Bischoff had made it a handicap match, with Rick Steiner joining Scott's original opponent, Tank Abbot.

A UFC-style circular cage then descended into -not around, but into- the ring, as Tank and The Dog Faced Gremlin beat up on Big Poppa Pump.

It was tedious, but it did at least get a little interesting when Tank Abbot pulled out a chain, only for Rick to urge him not to use it. The former UFC fighter seemed to oblige but then destroyed Rick with the chain.

Scotty made a miracle comeback, blasted Abbot with the chain and locked on the Steiner Recliner for a win inside about three minutes.

This was some piece of garbage.
Your Winner and Still WCW US Champion: Scott Steiner

Out in the back, Ric Flair turned up in a limousine with his whole family (including a young Charlotte Flair) in tow. In a case of terrible continuity, Goldberg's monster truck pulled up in the background and the announcers acted like it was the first time we'd seen it.

Blood is Thicker Than New Blood, Dude

WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - Mean Gene interviews Hollywood Hulk Hogan about his match with Billy Kidman
After a promo recapping the intense rivalry between Hulk Hogan and Billy Kidman, Mean Gene Okerlund interviewed The Hulkster about his upcoming match. Addressing the stipulation that he would have to retire if he lost (yes, just like Flair), Hogan dismissed it and claimed that he and Mean Gene would last forever.

On the subject of his nephew, Horace Hogan, being the special guest referee, Hogan insisted that blood was thicker than New Blood, dude.

Finally, Hogan addressed his wearing of the Hollywood attire, claiming that he had to change with the times. Changing the times for Hogan meant going back to something that had worked for him four years previously.

This was pretty good, old-school stuff from Hogan, and certainly one of his better promos.

Billy Kidman vs. Hollywood Hulk Hogan

Special Guest Referee: Horace Hogan

Hogan even came out to the classic nWo theme, which was pretty cool.

Meanwhile, special guest referee Horace Hogan was now friends with Kidman, despite being on Uncle Hulk's side only four weeks earlier at Slamboree.

WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - Hollywood Hulk Hogan attacks Billy Kidman
That aside, this was a better match than a lot of people give it credit for. Yes, it was mostly just Hogan destroying 'flea market champion' Kidman for the better part of ten minutes, but compared to the utter abomination that the rest of the show had been, it was a refreshingly straight-forward and enjoyable contest.

Throughout the match, Kidman spent half the time growing increasingly frustrated at his 'friend' Horace's commitment to calling the match down the middle and the other half getting his ass kicked. Sure, at one point he gained a brief bit of offence and even went to DDT Hogan onto a chair, but Hogan's head stopped about two feet away from the chair, making the whole thing look stupid.

In the closing stretch, Hogan hiptossed Kidman through the announce table in what was the best move in the match. That brought out Torrie Wilson, who had been having her troubles with Kidman and decided to settle their domestic dispute by handing Hogan a pair of brass knuckles.

Hopefully, they weren't the same pair that had been down Shane Douglas' tights earlier in the evening.

Kidman got hold of the International Object and took out Horace, but got a low-blow from Torrie. That allowed Hogan to put on the knucks, blast his opponent and win the match.
Your Winner: Hollywood Hulk Hogan

Post-match, Hulk and Horace reunited as the announcers reminded us that Hogan's win meant he earned a title shot at Bash at the Beach. That, my friends, would only spell trouble.

Speaking of trouble, back in the dressing room, Eric Bischoff was seen yelling at a policeman for not keeping the arena secure enough from Goldberg.

A Word With The Flairs

WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - Pamela Paulshock interviews Vince Russo and David Flair
Elsewhere in the arena, Pamela Paulshock got in an unexpected burn on David Flair.

"David, good luck in retiring your father Ric Flair tonight, because you're gonna need it," said the backstage interviewer, drawing the ire of both Flair and his manager/surrogate father, Vince Russo.

Doing all the talking for David, Russo ranted and raved about how badly David was gonna hurt his dad in what turned out to actually be a pretty decent promo.

Not that it was anywhere near the level of the Nature Boy's promo. Speaking live to Mean Gene  Meeeeeeean WOOOO! GENE, The Nature Boy promised to style, profile, and walk that ilse en route to destroying his eldest son.

David Flair (w/ Vince Russo) vs. Nature Boy Ric Flair

WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - A young Charlotte Flair (top-right) in the audience with her family to watch Ric Flair vs. David Flair
It says a lot about this show that a David Flair match was the best thing on it, at least up to this point anyway.

Obviously, the quality was all down to Ric walking his eldest son through the whole thing as David himself was barely competent.

The two put on a decent couple of minutes that got a little weird when Russo handcuffed Ric Flair's hands together. Referee Charles Robinson allowed that but had a problem with David using the ropes for leverage in a figure four.

At that point, Reid and Ashley (Charlotte) made their PPV debuts by getting involved. Reid hit Russo with a low blow and stole the keys so that Robinson could set Nature Boy free, after which Ashley used those same keys to handcuff Russo's arms together.

Back in the ring, Ric slapped the figure four on David and this one was over.
Your Winner: Ric Flair

Afterwards, Flair chopped the bejeebus out of Russo, prompting to Russo to call Ric's kids 'bitches' and promise to end Flair's career himself on the following evening's Nitro broadcast.

A quick video recapping the Sting vs. Vampiro rivalry followed, then it was time for the two to lock horns.

Human Torch Match
Vampiro vs. Sting

WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - Sting lights the torch for his Human Torch match with Vampiro
Sting started the match stood atop the 'Nitrovision' (titantron) and lit a torch, telling Vampiro that if he wanted to fight him, he'd have to follow him up there.

Vamp initially refused and looked horrified at even the mere suggestion of climbing up there. Sure, setting people on fire he had no problem with, but climbing a 45ft platform?

That was too much for Vampiro.

At least it was for the first three minutes, after which he willingly climbed up there anyway once The Stinger abseiled down and got in the ring for a quick brawl.

Once both men were safely back on top of the platform, we got thunder and lightning sound effects as the arena lights flashed on and off. Seriously, you thought The Fiend's red light was distracting in 2019?

Those matches are the picture of clarity compared to this.

After a few minutes of hardly anything happening, the lights went completely dark so that Sting could trade places with a stuntman. I think that's what happened anyway. I mean, there's always the possibility that in the few seconds of absolute darkness, Sting gained about 50 lbs and had a haircut. Fake Sting got set on fire, then stood at the edge of the tron, took a deep breath, then took the fakest 'professional stuntman' dive down onto a concealed inflatable mattress below.

As I write this, I've been watching professional wrestling for 28 years and that was easily the fakest thing I've ever seen.
Your Winner: Sting

Afterward, the announce team acted as though the terrible fall by 'Sting' had all but killed him. Again, F-U, Owen Hart.

"This is not wrestling anymore," said Scott Hudson.

He wasn't wrong.

WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - Pamela Paulshock interviews grey-haired Eric BischoffThere is No Surprise

Is it just me, or does Eric Bischoff look a little like his former opponent, Jay Leno in this picture?

Here, we saw him confronted by Pamela Paulshock, who interrupted Bischoff's phone call by sticking her boobs in his face and demanding to know what the mystery surprise was that he'd been promising throughout the show.

Furious, Bischoff claimed there was no surprise after all and send Paulshock packing.

World Championship Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship
WCW World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Jarrett vs. Kevin Nash

As I write this, there are about 25 minutes left on this show. Look, I like Kevin Nash, and I don't mind the odd Jeff Jarrett match, but do I want to see them wrestling each other for 25 minutes?

WCW - The Great American Bash 2000 - Kevin Nash challenged Jeff Jarrett for the WCW World Heavyweight Championship
Heck no.

Thankfully, I wouldn't have to. Some of that time was wasted by WCW Commissioner Ernest 'The Cat' Miller coming out and announcing that some 'celebrities' would be involved in the match.

Those 'celebrities' were basically The Filthy Animals, who were filling in such roles as guest 'bell-ringer' and 'timekeeper' while Miller declared himself to be the 'special ring enforcer and referee.'

Yawn.

Still 20 minutes to go.

The action got underway with Jeff Jarrett taking an approach that no wrestler before him had ever thought of:

Attacking Kevin Nash's legs.

He worked over Big Sexy's giant pins for a good few minutes. Not a single person cared. This wasn't just because it was incredibly boring, but because everybody was waiting for the inevitable Goldberg appearance and spent most of the match looking out to the entrance for him.

Eventually, the combatants managed to capture the audience's attention when referee Micky Jay took a ref bump, giving us the only enjoyable part of the match with the Filthy Animals running interference and The Cat playing 'Evil Referee,' only for Nash to defy the odds and beat the hell out of them all.

Predictably, Goldberg did show up.

He hit the ring, sized up Jarrett, and then SWERVE! He hit Kevin Nash with the spear. This was also very predictable when you consider WCW's recent track record of doing the STUPIDEST THING POSSIBLE at every opportunity.

Goldberg's involvement allowed Jarrett to cover Nash. Big Bill revived Micky Jay long enough to make the count, and this was done.
Your Winner and Still WCW Champion: Jeff Jarrett

Post-match, Bill Goldberg posed with Eric Bischoff and Vince Russo to close the show.






Throughout all the years that I've been writing these reviews, I've found that the best way to approach a bad show is with humour. Mock it a little, have fun with it, make a joke about all the weird, ridiculous and awful things that happen in the name of pro wrestling.

Yet, as I've learned the hard way today, there's only so long you can do this before it stops being funny.

By the summer of 2000, World Championship Wrestling had stopped being funny.

At Slamboree, I mentioned how there had at least been some decent wrestling, even if it was overshadowed by lousy creative decision making.

However, Great American Bash 2000 didn't even have decent wrestling to save it from being one of the worst shows of all time. I don't say that lightly, either.

Since I started Retro Pro Wrestling, I've reviewed every WWF PPV from Wrestlemania 1 up to Judgement Day 2000. I've reviewed every WCW show from Superbrawl 1996 onwards, and I've even reviewed the terrible disaster that was Heroes of Wrestling 1999. Out of all those shows, I can't think of many -if any- that have infuriated me, disappointed me, and made me want to quit this whole thing any more so than this one.

Honestly, the only reason I would advise you to go anywhere near this mess is to see Charlotte Flair before she was Charlotte Flair.

Everything else was basically just "because we're WCW, so f**k you.'



For other year 2000 pro wrestling reviews see:
Other WCW Great American Bash reviews: 
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Thursday, 27 February 2020

PPV REVIEW: WWF Judgement Day 2000

WWE/ WWF - Judgement Day 2000 Event Poster
May 21, 2000,
Freedom Hall, Louisville, Kentucky.

In the official history records (or at least on Wikipedia), Judgement Day 2000 is noted as being the first annual Judgement Day PPV.

While it's technically true that this was the event that kicked off a nine-year run for the franchise, it wasn't the first-ever Judgement Day PPV.

That took place back in October 1998 and featured The Rock competing in a throw-away match against his former Nation of Domination team mate Mark Henry as he moved one-step further to cementing his status as one of the company's biggest stars of all time.

Two years down the line, that's exacty what he was, a breakout superstar who would eventually transcend pro wrestling altogether and become one of the biggest movie stars in the world.

Tonight, one of The People's Champion's all-time greatest rivalries continued as The Great One went one-on-one with Triple H for the WWF title.

Here's what went down when Judgement Day 2000 came to us live from Louisville, Kentucky:






In One Hour, Everything Changes

Did you know that in one hour, 14,849 babies are born but 5,936 people die?

Did you know that in that same hour, 8,378 planes would take off in the US, causing 1.23 million passengers to 'contemplate disaster'?

No?

Well, you would if you watched WWF Judgement Day 2000 because tonight's opening video told us all these fascinating statistics as a way to introduce tonight's main event - a one-hour iron match between Triple H and The Rock.

In that one hour, according to this awesome video, those two men would see their life flash before their eyes as they duked it out in the ultimate battle for supremacy.

Epic pyro and a welcome from Jim Ross & Jerry 'The King' Lawler followed, and with that, it was on with the show.

A Busy Night Ahead

WWE/ WWF - Mr McMahon, WWF Hardcore Champion Gerald Brisco, HHH and Stephanie McMahon
Out in the back, Vince McMahon gave a pep talk to his McMahon-Helmsley Faction, which was just himself, his kids, and DX.

As the boss got excited about each Faction member's match tonight, WWF Hardcore Champion Gerald Briscoe arrived on the scene, sticking around just long enough to inform McMahon that Pat Patterson had missed his flight and wouldn't be at the show.

"Missed his flight? How can we have a show without Patterson?" said McMahon, in a line that was way funnier than it probably meant to be.

Briscoe was sent out to get the group's coffee order, but, in a scene that would become oh-so familiar with the launch of the 24/7 title 19 years later, the champion got attacked by a bunch of random, nomark midcarders.

Elsewhere in the arena, Shawn Michaels, the special guest referee for tonight's main event, strutted down a corridor.

Kurt Angle and WWF Tag Team Champions Edge & Christian vs. Rikishi & Too Cool (Grandmaster Sexay & Scotty 2 Hotty)

WWE/ WWF - Judgement Day 2000 - Edge doing a Five-Second Pose as a Hillbilly
Judgement Day got off to a fine start with this tremendously fun contest.

The first half was played mostly for laughs. Kurt Angle came out first to claim that teenage girls everywhere thought he was "all that," before his partners, Edge & Christian joined him in a new Five Second Pose.

The three of them donned false teeth, strummed banjos and stomped their feet as a Jug Band.

It was hilarious.

Later, Too Cool did a bit where Grandmaster Sexay's pants fell down and Scotty 2 Hotty laughed at him for having a small penis.

Nope, not making that up.

Eventually, things segued into more of a proper wrestling match and were all the better for it.

All six men had the crowd eating out of the palm of their hands in what was pretty much a flawless opener.

After some wonderful back-and-forth, Christian clocked Rikishi with the ring bell, but referee Teddy Long was too busy having palpitations in the corner because of how much he loved tag team matches.

That gave Grandmaster Sexay the chance to hit the Hip Hop Drop. 'Kishi covered edge, and this awesome opener was over.
Your Winners: Rikishi & Too Cool

WWE/ WWF - Judgement Day 2000 - Michael Cole interviews special guest referee Shawn Michaels
Post-matched, the babyfaces gave us their obligatory dance routine.

Out in the back, Michael Cole questioned whether Shawn Michaels was going to remain impartial in tonight's main event.

Michaels, whose last referee gig on PPV ended in controversial fashion at Summerslam 1997, insisted that despite Triple H being 'his boy,' he was going to do the job Linda McMahon hired him to do - be an unbiased referee.

Earlier, On Heat...


WWF European Champion Eddie Guerrero and Chyna arrived at the arena, only to be confronted by Dean Malenko.

WWE/ WWF - Judgement Day 2000 - Dean Malenko confronts Eddie Guerrero and Chyna
The Radicalz had all but disintegrated by now, and Malenko was ready to take Eddie's title. The Ice Man warned Chyna to stay out of tonight's European Championship match, but she and Eddie were too loved-up and goofy to take him seriously.

Bless, it was kinda nice to see the two looking genuinely happy working together.

One person who wasn't happy, however, was Perry Saturn, who confronted Malenko to declare that it would be he who came up trumps in the upcoming match.

World Wrestling Federation European Championship
WWF European Champion Eddie Guerrero (w/ Chyna) vs. Perry Saturn vs. WWF Light Heavyweight Champion Dean Malenko

By all accounts, this was a fun, eight-minute match with some of the best actual wrestling you were going to see on WWF TV during this time period.

Unfortunately, the Kentucky crowd didn't seem to care.

Brian Christopher flashing his undies? They went wild for that.

Eddie Guerrero busting out hurricanranas and top-rope arm-drags?

Meh, not so much.

WWE/ WWF - Judgement Day 2000 - Perry Saturn gets ready to leap onto Eddie Guerrero
Despite the lacklustre crowd response, the three men worked hard to deliver an enjoyable performance that came to a head when Chyna got involved with a lead pipe disguised as a bouquet of roses.

Malenko stole the roses from Mamacita, but she tripped him up and he smacked headfirst onto them, and thus onto the pipe.

A quick Guerrero roll-up later, and this was all over.
Your Winner and Still WWF European Champion: Eddie Guerrero

Flashing back to that week's Smackdown, we were reminded that Gerald Briscoe became our Hardcore Champion by pinning Crash Holly as Holly slept.

Back live, Briscoe was seen hiding out in the men's room trying to avoid a beat down. The poor Stooge was so on-edge that his own reflection in the mirror caused him to scream in fright and fall to the floor.

It was stupid, but it was also really funny.

Which Way Did He Go?

This was followed to a look back at the building rivalry between Shane McMahon and The Big Show.

This all started when Shane O' Mac backed Show in the main event of Wrestlemania 2000, only for The Big Nasty Bastard to be the first eliminated.

This caused a rift between the two that led to Shane mocking Big Show with his "Which Way Did He Go?" line.

For the life of me, I can't figure out where that line actually stemmed from, but if you were around at the time then you probably remember it.

Anyway, that match was next.

Falls Count Anywhere Match
Shane McMahon vs. The Big Show

WWE/ WWF - Judgement Day 2000 - The Big Show man handles Shane McMahon
This wasn't nearly as enjoyable as you might've hoped it would be.

Sure, it was great to begin with - Show charged out to the ring and spent the first two-thirds of the match just destroying McMahon in delightfully violent fashion.

Evening the score, McMahon had The Big Boss Man, Test, Albert, and even Trish Stratus come out and wail on Show, only for the big man to destroy them too.

Working their way up the ilse, Show destroyed McMahon some more before Bull Buchanan arrived on the scene. He and Shane dumped an enormous speaker on Big Shows legs, then Shane smashed his opponent over the head with a breeze block and this one just kind of fizzled out.

Blah. Could've been better.
Your Winner: Shane McMahon

Post-match, a hobbling Big Show was helped to the back by Sgt. Slaughter and Tony Garea and loaded into a waiting ambulance.

Meanwhile, Gerald Briscoe tried to find some respite by hiding out in the officials' locker room. I like the idea that the WWF cared so little about their referees that their dedicated space was just a sparse, empty room with a couple of chairs.

Who Likes Short Shorts?

WWE/ WWF - Judgement Day 2000 - Triple H and Shawn Michaels discuss HBK's short shorts
Across the arena, DX founders Triple H and Shawn Michaels enjoyed a quick catch up.

Hunter wanted to know about Shawn's wife and kid, but what he really wanted was to make fun of HBK's super tight shorts which, to be fair, did look ridiculous on a grown man.

Submission Rules

Next, we were reminded of the awesome, ongoing rivalry between Chris Jericho and Chris Benoit which had seen the two trade the Intercontinental Championship.

Tonight, the two would finally look to settle their differences in a submission match. This would happen with the added twist that Bob Holly had recently destroyed Benoit's knee with a steel chair after the two had tagged up to face Jericho and Val Venis on Smackdown.

World Wrestling Federation Intercontinental Championship Submission Match
WWF Intercontinental Champion Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

WWE/ WWF - Judgement Day 2000 - Chris Benoit puts a hurting on Chris Jericho
Back at Backlash, these two waged war on one another in a brilliantly brutal, stiff-as-hell matches that served as a highlight of the entire evening.

Tonight's encounter was more of the same - vicious, violent, and about as good as you were going to get from two master craftsman with only 15 minutes to play with.

The two battered each other in every which way, including Jericho busting out a tarantula a full year before Tajiri would join the company.

Unfortunately for Y2J, that wasn't enough to get the win.

As he went for the Walls of Jericho, Benoit took hold of his knee brace (removed earlier by the other Chris) and smashed it over his opponent's skull.

That allowed him to slap on the Crippler Crossface and hold it on until Jericho passed out.
Your Winner and Still WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Benoit

One other thing of note from that match. At various points, we saw Bob Holly and Val Venis watching on from separate monitors. Val, who hadn't appeared on a WWF PPV since Royal Rumble 2000, would face the winner of the match for the title on the following night's episode of Raw.

Afterwards, Jericho got up and staggered about the ring as his music played while JR talked about how Chris Benoit was the king of this particular ring on this particular night.

Naturally, that led us into a commercial for next month's PPV, staring 1997 King of the Ring winner, Triple H.

Gerald Briscoe - Hardcore Legend

WWE/ WWF - Judgement Day 2000 - Michael Cole interviews WWF Hardcore Champion Gerald Brisco
The King of the Ring commercial was followed by a recap of Heat when The Headbangers attacked Gerald Briscoe but were unsuccessful at capturing the hardcore title.

Back live, the reigning champion was interviewed by Michael Cole about how hard it was holding the most sought-after title in the WWF.

As he was doing this, two "catering vendors" (clearly beefed-up indie workers) were spotted in the background, pointing at Briscoe and conferring with a referee.

Before they could strike, however, Briscoe turned around and beat the hell out of the two men who were about 30 years his junior.

Gerald Briscoe, ladies and gentlemen, hardcore legend.

Across the way, The Rock told a clearly disinterested HBK that there'd be trouble if he didn't call tonight's main event right down the middle.

WWE/ WWF - Judgement Day 2000 - Tag Team Table Match - Road Dogg & X-Pac (w/ Tori) vs. The Dudley BoyzTables Match
DX (Road Dogg & X-Pac w/ Tori) vs. The Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray & D-Von Dudley)

This was a decent match that could have been a lot better had they gone with the tornado-style rules used for the Dudleyz/Hardyz match back at the Royal Rumble.

Instead, they started out with a traditional tag match, which really made no sense considering there were no rules beyond "put your opponents through the wood."

That kind of took the shine off things a little, but it was still a perfectly serviceable match. Not the best, sure, but certainly nothing terrible.

Towards the end, Road Dogg and Bubba Ray were the only members of their respective teams not to have gone through a table. The two duked it out and got so fed up of the referee trying to break up their brawl that they both grabbed him and launched him through a table propped up in the corner.

That would come back to bite The Dudleyz on the ass, as even though they next put Roadie through the table, the referee was out cold and didn't see it.

WWE/ WWF - Judgement Day 2000 - Bubba Ray gets ready to put Tori through a table
The wood-loving duo next turned their attentions to Tori, but before they could tablize her too, the man of the hour, Gerald Briscoe popped up and rescued her. X-Pac then hit Bubba with a top-rope X-Factor, Briscoe revived the official and this one was declared over.
Your Winners: DX

Post-match, Briscoe made the questionable decision to get in the ring and crotch chop the Dudleyz. Obviously, the two sent him through a table with a 3D.

This was followed by an ominous video featuring creepy kids playing hopscotch. Was that a variation of The Undertaker's theme music playing in this video?

The Sixty-Minute Men

A final, compelling video package for tonight's main event came next, after which it was down to the ring for the first WWF iron man match since Wrestlemania 12.

World Wrestling Federation Championship Iron Man Match
WWF Champion The Rock vs. Triple H (w/ WWF Women's Champion Stephanie McMahon)

WWE/ WWF - Judgement Day 2000 - The Rock and Triple H face off Special Guest Referee: Shawn Michaels

The man who had competed in that last iron man bout, Shawn Michaels, made his way out first to officiate, wearing those stupidly ridiculous pants.

Triple H was out next, with Vince, Shane, and WWF Women's Champion Stephanie McMahon in tow.

Not that the McMahons would stick around. When they reached the ring, Hunter asked them to go backstage so that he could do this by himself. Quite why he couldn't have had this conversation backstage before the match is anyone's guess.

Finally, The Rock came back to Kentucky, and this utterly magnificent iron man match was underway.

It's been a long time since this fan found myself on the edge of my seat, desperately cheering on a wrestler, praying to whatever God there may be that he could fight back and pick up a victory. It's been even longer since I felt so utterly drawn in by a match that took place over 20 years ago, but I did so with this match.

Seriously, if you're feeling disheartened, disappointed, and disillusioned with modern pro wrestling, I urge you to go back to Judgement Day 2000 and watch The Rock vs. Triple H for the WWF title.

Watching this match, I was reminded of exactly why I became a fan in the first place. It's the joy, the passion, the drama, the excitement and the intensity, all of which Rock/HHH delivered in spades.

At various points, Jerry Lawler made reference to their Summerslam 1998 ladder match, which -as I've mentioned multiple times- happens to be one of my favourite matches ever and which -as Lawler was keen to tell us- was the longest match either man had been involved in up to that point in their careers.

This captivating iron match surpassed even that bout, and would have been nigh on flawless were it not for the screwy finish.

WWE/ WWF - Judgement Day 2000 - The Rock and Triple H battle with referee Shawn Michaels looking on
After trailing behind for almost the entire match, The Rock managed to even the score by hitting HHH with a Pedigree onto Lawler & JR's announce table to earn a count-out, then make it five falls apiece thanks to the People's Elbow.

With two minutes left on the clock, Vince, Shane, Steph, Road Dogg and X-Pac all ran into the ring to decimate The Rock, inadvertently knocking HBK off the apron in the process.

As all this was going on, the creepy, hopscotch playing kids from earlier popped up on the titantron, signalling the arrival of American Bad Ass Undertaker.

Last seen on PPV way back at Summerslam 1999, 'Taker rode to ring on a Harley and destroyed everyone in sight. He lifted Triple H for the Tombstone, but Michaels saw it and called a DQ right at the very second that the bell sounded to end the match.

That gave HHH a dodgy 6-5 victory and his fourth WWF Championship:
Your Winner and NEW WWF Champion: Triple H

I'm not the only one who thought the ending was BS. The crowds showed their disgust by pelting the ring, and the new champion, with garbage as the show, went off the air.






That questionable ending aside, Judgement Day 2000 was an awesome show from start to finish. Sure, the Big Show/Shane match wasn't to my taste, and sure, the DX/Dudleyz table match wasn't exactly enthralling, but everything else delivered quality action from bell-to-bell.

The six-man match was undoubtedly one of the hottest openers you'll ever see in terms of crowd reaction, the European three-way and the Benoit/Jericho match delivered, and that main event...man, that main event was something else.

It feels like a long time since I've said this, but I highly recommend tracking down this show.





For other year 2000 pro wrestling reviews see:
Other WWE Judgement Day Reviews
    Be the first to catch the latest Retro Pro Wrestling reviews by following on Facebook or Twitter @RetroPWrestling.

    Thursday, 20 February 2020

    PPV REVIEW: WCW Slamboree 2000

    WCW Slamboree 2000 - Event poster
    May 7, 2000
    Kemper Arena in Kansas City, Missouri

    There's a reason why there's been no WCW reviews on this blog for over a month: 

    By the early 2000s, the shows were getting so bad that it was actually becoming a chore to watch.

    Trust me, this blog is supposed to be a fun hobby for me, but reviewing World Championship Wrestling was turning into the worst job I've ever had.

    The whole David Arquette - WCW World Heavyweight Champion storyline -which came to a head at Slamboree 2000- was only one of the reasons why.

    Mediocre wrestling, frustrating finishes and ridiculous booking were running rampant around this time, leaving very little to enjoy.

    Still, I've started, so I'll finish.

    So, without further ado, let's head down to Kansas City, Missouri for the first pro wrestling PPV to emanate from the Kemper Arena since Over the Edge 1999, the night Owen Hart died.





    The New Blood vs. The Millionaires Club - The War Wages On

    WCW Slamboree 2000 - Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone, and Mark Madden were the announcers for the event
    We began tonight's proceedings with a cold open, a flashback to that week's Nitro in which Ric Flair, leading The Millionaire's Club, had challenged The New Blood to a battle royal, with a world title shot at The Great American Bash up for grabs for the winner.

    Flair had gone onto win that match, which had also featured a surprise cameo from Macho Man Randy Savage.

    This was great and all, but since Flair's title shot wouldn't be until the following month, this didn't do much for tonight's show.

    Out in the parking lot, The Millionaire's Club were shown arriving on their tour bus while The New Blood all gathered around a TV in the locker room to watch them do so.

    We then got the standard sub-par WCW video package which reminded us that Sting and Vampiro hated each other, that Billy Kidman and Hulk Hogan were at war, and that yes, Courtney Cox's husband was our world champion.

    Out in the arena, pyro blasted, and Tony Schiavone welcomed us to Slamboree. As the cameras scanned the crowd, Schiavone introduced us to his broadcast colleagues, Mark Madden and Scott Hudson, leaving this writer to pine for the glory days of Mike Tenay and Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan.

    World Championship Wrestling Cruiserweight Championship
    WCW Cruiserweight Champion (w/ Tammy) vs. The Artist (w/ Paisley)

    WCW Slamboree 2000 - Tammy Sytch accompanied Chris Candido to the ring
    Before the bout, Tammy took to the microphone to insist that since Missouri was the 'Show Me State,' she should show us what she had under her robe.

    Chris Candido's valet, whose voice was at least a couple of octaves deeper than it ever had been the last time we saw her as Sunny, then stripped off her robe to reveal a silver dress which made her look like one of The Godfather's hos.

    The match then commenced and was a good effort from both men.

    Though this was nowhere on par with the kind of cruiserweight classics we'd once seen from the likes of Juventud Guerrera, Psicosis, and Rey Mysterio Jr, it was a solid outing that was only spoiled by a couple of blown spots and a botched finish.

    That came about when Paisley confronted Tammy to stop her distracting the referee's attention. The two women -who had come to blows at the previous month's Spring Stampede 2000- got into a staredown which resulted in Paisley grabbing Tammy by the hair and dragging her to the ground. In retaliation, Tammy grabbed a chair and managed to take out both Paisley and The Artist at the same time.

    Candido covered the artist, referee Mickey Jay counted to three and the bell rang, only for Jay to claim that he didn't count to three after all and that the match must continue.

    Rather pointlessly, Candido then hit a piledriver and diving headbutt to score the actual three count.
    Your Winner and Still WCW Cruiserweight Champion: Chris Candido

    Afterward, Paisley ripped off Tammy's prostitute dress. This would have been sexy had Tammy not been wearing an ugly hotpants-and-crop top number.

    Terry Funk is Middle-Aged and Crazy

    Before the next match, Tony Schiavone and his fake tan told us that one of the cages in tonight's Triple Cage match would be a 'hardcore cage' while another would be -and I quote- "a guitar cage."

    Schiavone, Hudson, and Madden then segued into talking about Terry Funk, who would be competing in our next match.

    This led us into a video package which showed The Funker getting his ass kicked in various ways, because if you want to get a guy over, then naturally the best way to do is to show him getting destroyed by half the roster.

    World Championship Wrestling Hardcore Championship Handicap Match
    WCW Hardcore Champion Terry Funk vs. Norman Smiley & Ralphus

    WCW Slamboree 2000 - Norman Smiley (w/ Ralphus) does the Big Wiggle on Terry Funk
    Honestly, I don't think I've ever laughed so much watching a pro wrestling match in all of my life.

    I'm also not entirely sure that this was actually supposed to be that funny. Norman Smiley had been billed as competing with a 'Mystery Partner,' a big fat guy wearing a hockey mask to reveal his identity.

    Later in the match, Terry Funk would blast away that hockey mask to reveal that the big fat guy was actually Ralphus, who we last saw on PPV accompanying Chris Jericho back at Uncensored 1999.

    That wasn't the funny part though, the funny part was that Ralphus had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to be doing.

    Rather than helping Smiley in any way, he kind of just wandered around aimlessly. At one point, Funk covered Smiley as they brawled through the backstage area. Rather than break up the pin attempt, the big lug just stood there, watching and holding a trash can. Not long after, he decided to use said trash can to give Funk a gentle little love tap.

    It was such a pathetic attempt at offence that Funk deliberately no-sold it, grabbed the trash can and waffled Ralphus with it.

    All the while, Schiavone, Hudson, and Madden made such fun at Ralphus that you couldn't help but laugh out loud.

    Seriously, if you wanted a quality hardcore match then this wasn't the one for you, but if you wanted a so-bad-it's-freakin-hilllarious comedy of errors, get on this one.

    Eventually, this absolute trainwreck made it to the ring where Smiley put the big wiggle on the hardcore champion. Looking to emulate the move, Ralphus stood behind Funk and basically dry-humped him. Not one to take too kindly to getting bummed in by a toothless fat guy, Funk picked up a chair and murdered the former Jericho Personal Security man. Smiley tried coming to his partner's aid, allowing The Funker the opportunity to roll him up and retain the title.
    Your Winner and Still WCW Hardcore Champion: Terry Funk

    WCW Slamboree 2000 - Mean Gene Okerlund interviews David Arquette
    Out in the back, David Arquette turned up in a limousine to be confronted by Mean Gene Okerlund.

    Rather than asking him anything about tonight's main event, Mean Gene wanted to know about Arquette's wife earning a million dollars per episode for her role as Monica in Friends.

    Unsurprisingly, Arquette didn't want to talk about that, but was willing to admit that he was scared about his role in the big triple cage match.

    I know that the whole David Arquette - World Champion thing gets ripped on, but at least WCW didn't present the actor as though he was a credible threat or anything. Throughout this whole story, it was treated as though his world title win had been a fluke, that his position as champion was outrageous, and that even the man himself knew he had no business holding the gold.

    Shawn 'The Perfect One' Stasiak vs. Curt Hennig

    WCW Slamboree 2000 - Shawn Stasiak takes control of Curt Hennig
    Poor Curt Hennig looked like crap here but still managed to carry Shawn Stasiak to what was probably the best match Stan The Man's son would ever have.

    That's not to say it was a classic or anything, but it was certainly a decent enough match when you consider that one man was a rookie and the other was a knackered veteran who was clearly past caring.

    The story here was that Stasiak had decided to piss off Hennig by stealing the 'Mr. Perfect' gimmick, right down to the knock off theme music. This wouldn't have been so bad if Hennig had ever used that gimmick in WCW. As it was, it was purely a WWF gimmick, and Hennig hadn't even used it in that company for at least four years.

    Horrible backstory aside, this was a decent match which ended when Stasiak catapulted Hennig into the corner and blasted him with the PerfectPlex, adding insult to injury in the name of victory.
    Your Winner: Shawn Stasiak

    Backstage, Scott Steiner was shown getting pumped up in The New Blood locker room as Vince Russo told him it was time to go to the ring. Yes, Scott Steiner, who made his professional wrestling debut in 1986, was part of The New Blood in May 2000.

    World Championship Wrestling United States Championship
    WCW US Champion Scott Steiner (w/ Shakira & Midajah) vs. Hugh Morrus  Hugh G. Rection

    WCW Slamboree 2000 - Hugh Morrus changed his name to General Hugh G. Rection
    OK, let's do this.

    Before the match, Hugh Morrus got on the microphone and declared that he never wanted to be called that name ever again. The name Hugh Morrus, he said, was given to him by Eric Bischoff in order to look stupid. So, to make himself not look stupid any longer, he was now going to go by his 'real name' of Hugh G. Rection, or Captain Rection for short.

    Yep, cos that's totally not stupid at all.

    I mean for f***'s sake.

    "Captain Rection, he's working stiff in there, I'll tell you that," quipped Madden as this one got underway, proving that anything the former Hugh Morrus did from here on in would be overshadowed by penis jokes.

    That was a shame because this was a surprisingly good match that saw Hugh G. Rection take a pounding only to consistently fight back and occasionally come close to picking up the three count.

    Towards the finish, Rection reversed a tombstone into a piledriver of his own, but when he went for the No Laughing Matter moonsualt, Steiner rolled out of harm's way. Unfortunately, he didn't roll far enough and took a nasty kick to the head as Rection landed. Curiously, Madden told us that the No Laughing Matter had been renamed 'The Raging Climax.' I'm not sure how Madden was supposed to know this when Morrus had only changed to his 'Walking D**k Joke' gimmick at the start of this match.

    Anyway, Steiner got to his feet and put his opponent in the Steiner Recliner. Hugh G. Rection went limp, and this one was over.
    Your Winner and Still WCW US Champion: Scott Steiner

    After the bell, Steiner clamped the Steiner Recliner back on. Rection's Misfits in Action cohorts Van Hammer, Chavo Guerrero, and Lash LeRoux got up from their position in the front row (where they'd been sitting after supposedly being 'fired from WCW') and tried to attack, but Eric Bischoff & Vince Russo's hired security team of low-rent indie workers ran in to hold them back.

    In the midst of all this fracas, Booker T triumphantly ran to the ring in his shirt and slacks and took out Big Poppa Pump.

    WCW Slamboree 2000 - Chris Kanyon promised to have DDP's backKanyon Has DDP's Back

    Out in the backstage area, Chris Kanyon spoke to Mean Gene Okerlund about his friendship with Diamond Dallas Page and how that made him a natural enemy of The New Blood.

    Kanyon would take on New Blood member Mike Awesome next.

    Mike Awesome vs. Chris 'Champagne' Kanyon

    This very quickly turned into the best match of the night so far, and then they hit the finish and absolutely ruined it.

    With the crowd chanting "ECW! ECW!" Mike Awesome battered Kanyon from pillar to post and utterly destroyed him. Proving his worth, Kanyon refused to stay down and always found a way to fight back no matter how much punishment he had to endure.

    It was completely gripping, the kind of match that really takes you by surprise with just how excellent it is and forces you to sit up and take note, even if that's only so you can see how badly WCW botched it up.

    Towards the end, Mike Awesome rolled back the protective matting from around the ringside area and set Kanyon up to powerbomb him onto the concrete floor from atop the elevated entrance way leading to the ring. Before he could do that, however, Kevin Nash's music hit and Big Sexy stormed to the ring.

    Nash played into Awesome but was soon surrounded by members of The New Blood. Ric Flair and Sting ran in for the save, and this one was just kind of over.
    No Contest

    Yep, the official result is that this was a no-contest, even though Nash hit Awesome so technically he should have won by DQ.

    Russo owns Elizabeth

    Next, we were shown a video package of the rivalry between Vince Russo and Lex Luger, stemming from Russo's claim that he owned Elizabeth's contract, and therefore, owned her.

    Somehow, that meant we got a match between Luger and Buff Bagwell here tonight.

    Back live, we were taken to The New Blood's lockerroom, where Russo insisted that Liz go change her dress because he owned her and didn't like what she was wearing.

    Can you imagine any major wrestling company getting away with a storyline like this today?

    The Total Package Lex Luger vs. Buff Bagwell

    WCW Slamboree 2000 - Buff Bagwell strikes a pose before facing Lex Luger
    I've always been a fan of The Total Package, but even I have to admit that this was a pretty tedious match.

    It was 50% chinlock, 25% posing, and 25% half-way decent wrestling that just didn't capture the imagination.

    Towards the end, we randomly cut to the back just in time to see Elizabeth hit Russo with a baseball bat and then run to the ring.

    Moving between the ropes, she had the bat stolen from her by Buff Bagwell, who used it on Luger in plain view of the referee.

    The gormless official simply ignored it, just as he ignored Liz finally hitting Buff with it as he scaled the top rope for the Buff Blockbuster.

    The blatant and unchallenged interference allowed Lugr to slap on the Torture Rack and win the match:
    Your Winner: Lex Luger

    Afterward, Chuck Palumbo came down wearing Lex Luger's gear and put The Total Package in a torture rack.

    Apparently, Vince Russo was pretty big on gimmick stealing gimmicks at the time. First Shawn Stasiak, now Chuck.

    Shane Douglas Hates Ric Flair

    WCW Slamboree 2000 - Mean Gene interviews Shane Douglas
    When the history books are written, Shane Douglas' career will be defined by two things:

    1: That time he threw down the NWA title
    2: His real-life hatred of Ric Flair.

    That long-standing grudge was on display here as Douglas ranted and raved to Mean Gene Okerlund about how much he hated The Nature Boy.

    Admittedly, this was a decent promo from Douglas, who ended things by claiming that Flair's ass would get Franchised, which apparently was a thing.

    Shane Douglas vs. Nature Boy Ric Flair

    If Vince Russo interferes, Flair gets five minutes alone with Russo

    By this point, Flair had clearly stopped caring, and couldn't even be bothered to dress properly for his match, coming down to face The Franchise in his slacks, shoes and t-shirt.

    WCW Slamboree 2000 - Ric Flair cuts an angry promoThankfully, the legendary grappler still had a little fire in his belly, and used it to great effect to cut a compelling promo, calling Douglas a 'dips**t' and promising to kick his 'ECW ass.'

    The match itself was actually very good. Rather than making it difficult for the two men to work together, their real-life animosity adding an intensity to proceedings that made this a much more enjoyable watch than your writer thought it might be.

    Apart from a couple of sloppy-looking rolling suplexes from Douglas, there was almost nothing to complain about here...at least not until the finish.

    Frustratingly, we got another match which just *had* to end with interference.

    As Flair took control, Buff Bagwell and a man dressed as Sting who everybody (Naitch included) believed to be Vince Russo ran out to the ring.

    The Russo-Sting blasted Flair with a baseball bat, allowing Douglas to get the roll-up and the three.
    Your Winner: Shane Douglas

    WCW Slamboree 2000 - David Flair and Vince RussoFired up, Flair took to the microphone to demand his five minutes alone with Russo. When the man in the Sting mask refused, Lex Luger came out, battered Buff Bagwell and hurled Sting-Russo into the ring.

    Predictably, that turned out not to be Russo at all but David Flair, who joined The New Blood leader in taking out his pops.

    When Kevin Nash came to the rescue, Dafney ran in and blasted him in the bollocks, the result of which was that a sixteen-time world champion and a seven-foot-tall monster of a man were overpowered by a scrawny writer from New York, a small woman, and David Flair.

    Vampiro is a Freak

    In more New Blood vs. Millionaires Club action, we saw a video package highlighting the bizarre and creepy feud between Sting and Vampiro, including the moment when Vampiro had Sting covered in blood and hanging from a noose.

    I don't recall that, but man it looked genuinely like something out of a horror movie.

    Vampiro vs. Sting

    WCW Slamboree 2000 - Vampiro faced Sting
    One of the better matches Sting had been involved in for a while, this one began with Vampiro waiting on the ramp for Sting to arrive, only to get his backside handed to him when The Stinger did show up.

    For a good few minutes, the WCW mainstay did his best to destroy Vampiro, only for his demented opponent to make a comeback in a fun bout loaded with action and intensity.

    The only drawback was the lax officiating.

    Apparently, there were no such things as countouts or DQs in WCW anymore. As such, both men were free to whack each other with a lead pipe in plain view of referee Mickey Jay, who did nothing more than look mildly surprised.

    After a short, explosive contest, Sting countered Vampiro's corner attack with a low blow and an awesome powerbomb from the middle rope, destroyed him with two Scorpion Death Drops, and gave us one of the very few clean finishes on the show.
    Your Winner: Sting

    WCW Slamboree 2000 - DDP addresses World Heavyweight Champion David Arquette
    Backstage, Mike Tenay was relegated to interviewer role when he really should have been calling the show.

    His first job was to hold the microphone while Diamond Dallas Page told a frightened David Arquette that if he just did everything Page told him, everything would work out.

    His second was to interview Billy Kidman, who was standing by with Torrie Wilson, Eric Bischoff, and Kimberley Page.

    Kidman cut a cringe-inducing promo in which he claimed that, with Bischoff as the special referee, there was no way he could lose to Hulk Hogan tonight.

    In between these two promos, we saw Kevin Nash wandering around backstage, apparently looking for Vince Russo.

    Afterwards, we were told that if you really wanted a Buff Daddy pennant (which I'm pretty sure nobody did), you should send in your cable bill to prove that you'd purchased Slamboree 2000.

    Billy Kidman (w/ Torrie Wilson) vs. Hulk Hogan
    Special Guest Referee: Eric Bischoff

    WCW Slamboree 2000 - Hulk Hogan beats up Billy Kidman
    Much as with the Sting/Vampiro match, I enjoyed this one way more than I thought I would.

    By this point, Hogan had ditched his trademark Hulkamania yellow in favour of black denim, with a cut-off shirt that read "F.U.N.B" (F-U, New Blood) on the back.

    Tonight, he marched to the ring with nephew Horace Hogan to watch his back, but biased referee Eric Bischoff sent Horace packing.

    From there, we got a widely entertaining match in which Kidman bumped about the place as though his life depended on it and took a good battering from The Hulkster.

    Naturally, Evil Eric refused to count any pin attempts for his former friend and did everything he could to prevent Hogan scoring the win.

    Eventually, Hulk got fed up and knocked Eric out then began to stumble and fumble about the place in the name of setting up some tables in the ring.

    Bischoff got powerbombed through one while Kidman went sailing through the second after his brief comeback resulted in jumping off the top rope only for Hogan to move out of harm's way.

    Hulk made the cover, Horace returned to the ring lifted the hand of a groggy Eric Bischoff and used Eric's hand to count the fall for Uncle Hulk.
    Your Winner: Hulk Hogan

    I know there'll be some people who will complain that this did nothing to help Kidman get over, but I'd argue that sometimes just putting on an entertaining match is more important than getting someone over, and this certainly achieved that.

    Backstage, Vince Russo ran from Kevin Nash, dragging his 'property,' Elizabeth with him. He tried escaping in a bus, but Lex Luger was waiting for him. I'm assuming Lex rescued Liz because when Russo next commandeered a car and drove off, she wasn't with him.

    Jeff Jarrett is The Chosen One, Slap Ass

    WCW Slamboree 2000 - Mean Gene interviews Jeff Jarrett
    With only the main event to go, a video package brought us up to speed with how David Arquette had become the World Heavyweight Champion. Poor Dave had tried to relinquish the title, but pro wrestling logic meant that he had no choice but to defend it in a triple cage match here tonight.

    Having heard from Arquette and DDP earlier, it was then Jeff Jarrett's turn to give a few words to Mean Gene Okerlund.

    Those few words were, of course, the same ones Jarrett always used at this point in his career:

    1: Chosen one
    2: Slap ass
    3: slap nuts.

    In between those words, the future TNA leader said nothing of note, other than that he was going to be our next champion, slap ass.

    World Championship Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship Triple Cage Match
    WCW World Heavyweight Champion David Arquette vs. Jeff Jarrett vs. Diamond Dallas Page

    WCW Slamboree 2000 - World Heavyweight Champion David Arquette
    Not unlike the climax of the Ready to Rumble movie, the deal here was that the ring was surrounded by a triple-stacked cage match. The 'ground level' had the ring and a bunch of ladders to help you make your way to the second tier, which the announcers dubbed 'hardcore hell.' This had a bunch of chairs, tables and the ever-original kitchen sink attached the cage walls that the competitors could pull off and blast each other with.

    The top-level was 'The Guitar Room' and, obviously, had a bunch of Jarrett's guitars in it. The idea was to climb to the top of The Guitar Room and retrieve the belt, which Jeff Jarrett did after a stupidly entertaining and bloody brawl.

    For the most part, Arquette stayed out of harm's way and allowed Page and Jarret to destroy each other in a very enjoyable fashion.

    At one point, Mike Awesome came out to attack Page, but quickly got knocked on his butt, leaving Dallas free to race Jarrett to the top of the guitar room.

    While all of this was going on, however, Arquette climbed to the top and stood by, with the announcers surmising that he must have been waiting to knock Jarrett down should The Chosen One be the first to make it to the top. Instead, the dastardly actor blasted Diamond Dallas Page with a guitar, allowing Jarrett to retrieve the gold.

    This wasn't exactly one of Russo's patented swerves, either. The whole build-up to this match had seen DDP insisting that Arquette stay out of the way because he wasn't cut out to be a wrestler. Yeah, no wonder the dude turned on him.
    Your Winner and NEW WCW World Heavyweight Champion: Jeff Jarrett

    After that fun main event, Chris Kanyon came out to help page fend off another attack from Mike Awesome and Jarrett, but instead Awesome threw Kanyon off the stage and he went plummeting to his demise on the rampway below. Looking on it 20 years later, it did look like a cool spot, but you do kind of wish WCW had done this spot in any arena other than the Kemper.






    It says a lot about the state of World Championship Wrestling that this one of their best shows in a long time despite having so many problems. Most of the actual in-ring action ranged from passably decent to wildly entertaining, but the screwy finishes, multiple instances of interference and the fact that the rules were seemingly non-existent all tarnished what could have otherwise been a great show.

    Though there's nothing here that is an absolute must-see, Slamboree 2000 does make for curious viewing and is certainly a thousand times better than anything the company had done during their terrible run of 1999.





    For other year 2000 pro wrestling reviews see:
    Other WCW Slamboree reviews:
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