Thursday, 12 October 2017

PPV REVIEW: TNA Slammiversary 7 2009

TNA Slammiversary 7 - Event poster
June 21st, 2009
Detroit, Michigan

The good thing about TNA Wrestling’s seventh annual Slammiversary pay per view being shown three days later on Bravo TV is that, before making the commitment to watch it, your reporter got the chance to ask other people whether they thought it was actually worth watching. 

(NOTE: This is a review I originally wrote live at the time Slammiversary 7 took place back in 2009. I recently discovered a bunch of my old TNA reviews and wanted to add them to RPW, so here we are.) 

The bad thing about TNA Wrestling’s seventh annual Slammiversary being shown on Bravo TV at all is that, when those you ask tell you that it's a very good show, you're then committed to staying up past 1AM just to finish watching it and pull together a few comments.

And so it is that with weary eyes and a big jug of coffee, your favourite pro wrestling reviewer sits down to review all the action.

Here’s what went down:


King of the Mountain X-Division Title Match: Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley vs. Consequences Creed vs. Jay Lethal vs. Suicide (champion)

I’ve got to admit, the King of the Mountain match always confuses me a little, but for those even more confused than I am, here’s the gist:

King of the Mountain kind of works like a multi-man, reverse-ladder match in that rather than climbing up the ladder to try and retrieve the title and bring it back down, competitors take the title up the ladder and win the match by hanging it up. But there’s a further twist, in that in order to be ‘eligible’ to hang the title, you first have to gain a pinfall or submission, and whoever you pin or make submit has to spend time in a penalty box.

That any clearer? No, thought not. Don’t worry about the rules though, just sit down and watch this one in all it’s lightning quick, high flying glory. You want insane spots? You want Chris Sabin taking an epic leap off the penalty box into the middle of the aisle and nearly killing everybody?


You want action, excitement, a bit of drama and even a spot of comedy (Motor City Machine Guns and Lethal Consequences indulging in a group hug of sorts in the middle of the ring is damn funny!)? Well, you got all that, and a lot more.

Man, this is a fun match, but ultimately it has to come to an end and does so when Suicide hangs the belt to retain his title.
Your Winner: Suicide

In the back, Shane Douglas talks up his match against ‘Don’t Call me Christopher’ Daniels.

Daniels vs. Shane Douglas

The stipulation for this one is that if Douglas wins, he gets Daniels’ spot on the TNA roster. Or something.

Anyway, this is the one match on the card that really could be terrible but actually isn’t too bad. It’s a well-paced, old school affair and though it won’t be winning any match of the year (it won’t even come close to being the match of the night), it’s decent all the same.

Daniels picks up the win with Best Moonsault Ever.
Your Winner: Daniels

In the back, Jeremy Borash tells TNA World Champion, Mick Foley, that he doesn’t like his odds in the second King of the Mountain match tonight. Foley replies by singing ‘He’s Got the Whole World in his Hands’ (update in 2017 - I wonder if Bray Wyatt was watching), but replacing ‘Whole World’ with ‘World Title’. Ahem. Yes. Anyway.

   

TNA Knockouts Championship Match: Tara vs. Angelina Love (champion)

For those of you new to TNA, you might recognise Tara.

Remember Victoria? ‘Retired’ from WWE?

Yeah, well now she’s in TNA looking fit and healthy and kicking bum. Your Knockouts Champion, Angelina Love, comes to the ring with Velvet Sky and that other woman in tow, and when your reporter stops drooling over the stunning women, it's on.

This is another decent match, not the best either woman has had separately, but still pretty decent and almost immediately it's clear to tell that Tara is much better suited to TNA’s women’s division.

Why? Because these girls actually wrestle, and wrestle well.

I’d hazard a guess that Tara will eventually win the title, but tonight’s not her night as Madison Rayne blinds the former Diva with some hairspray, allowing Angelina to pick up the win.
Your Winner and Still TNA Knockouts Champion: Angelina Love

In the back, Stevie Richards (or rather, Dr. Stevie), Raven, and Daffney are backstage with Lauren.

Raven does his best to creep out Lauren whilst Richards puts over the Monsters Ball match. Lauren runs off and the three weirdos have a group hug. It’s very weird, but then, that’s what they’re going for.

Inter-Gender Monsters’ Ball Match: Raven and Daffney vs. Abyss and Taylor Wilde.

Monsters Ball = Generic Hardcore Match.

And by God what a sick hardcore match this one is!

At times it’s a bit slow and stodgy, especially when Abyss and Raven take centre stage, but whilst both do manage to get some decent spots in, it’s the girls who really impress here.


Taylor is fearless, Daffney is a freaking lunatic, and between them, they steal this one.

A trip through the crowd by both boys and girls is especially fun, particularly when Taylor launches herself off the top of the set and crashes down on her rival. As is Daffney getting hurled out of the ring and squashing Raven and Richards.

But that’s not the best bit.

The best bit comes at the end, when, with the obligatory thumb-tacks spread all over the ring, Taylor Wilde spinebusters Daffney into the tacks with a sickening thud.

Now, there are some people who’ve criticised TNA for allowing a girl to be involved in such violence, but hey, Daffney’s a grown women, and all kudos to her for taking such a sick bump.

Oh, and as for the end? Raven goes for an Even Flow DDT, Abyss counters with a Black Hole Slam into the tacks, and this one is over.
Your Winners: Abyss and Taylor Wilde.

Holy moly, that was intense. Let’s calm things down a bit shall we?

Matt Morgan vs. Sting

If you didn’t know, every match in TNA has to have some sort of stipulation. For this one, if Matt Morgan wins, he’s in the Main Event Mafia.

After Morgan, Sting makes his way to the ring. He’s tremendously popular tonight, but that doesn’t stop him having a really boring match with Morgan.

It lasts all of ten minutes, if that, and apart from Sting hitting a missile dropkick, nothing even remotely interesting happens.

The Stinger hits the Scorpion Death Drop, and we’re done.
Your Winner: Sting 

After teasing all night that Team 3D may not show up (they were in Japan defending their IWGP tag titles just last night), it turns out Ray and Devon are here after all, and they’re set to defend their TNA belts against your writer’s favourite tag team following the demise of Miz & Morrison; Beer Money Incorporated.

TNA World Tag Team Title Match: Beer Money Incorporated vs. Team 3D (champions)

TNA Slammiversary 7 - Beer Money Inc vs. Team 3D

There’s a reason why Robert Roode and James Storm are my favourite tag team; they consistently put on good matches, even against a team like ‘3D, who despite being legends in their own right, are starting to slow down.

The match kicks off and as Don West and Mike Tenay spend the first couple of minutes arguing amongst themselves, they miss out on some really good opening action, including a sweet head scissors from Storm on Devon.

Things progress, and this really does feel like a ‘big time’ pay per view tag team title match. You can fault TNA for many things, but when it comes to running a tag team division, the company are a million miles better than World Wrestling Entertainment.


Part way through, The British Invasion come down to join West and Tenay (who sounds like such a whiny little girl these days) and are brilliant on commentary as Team 3D and Beer Money remain brilliant in the ring.

Not surprisingly, Magnus, Terry and Williams get involved in the finish of this one, causing the distraction to Devon, who gets rocked with the DWI and loses the match.
Your Winner and New Tag Team Champions: Beer Money Incorporated. 

It should be noted that earlier on in the show (I think it was just before the tag bout, but I’m growing tired now), there’s an interview backstage with AJ Styles and Samoa Joe.

After AJ’s done with his piece, Samoa Joe addresses Kurt Angle and says something along the lines of:

“Kurt, I have taken out the rest of the Main Event Mafia, tonight, it’s about you, tonight, we become the most powerful force in pro wrestling.”

Now, when he says “we” is he talking about himself and the man standing next to him, AJ Styles, or is he talking about himself and Kurt Angle?

Hmm, let’s find out shall we?

King of the Mountain World Heavyweight Championship Match: Aj Styles vs. Samoa Joe vs. Jeff Jarrett vs. Kurt Angle vs. Mick Foley

Leading into this match, everything in the world said it should fail.

Yes, Angle, Styles and even Jeff Jarrett can put on some good stuff, but nowhere near to the level of the X-Division guys in the opener.

Samoa Joe is what he is at this point, which is not bad but barely motivated, but Mick Foley?

Huge fan of the guy but he’s far too broken down to be taken seriously as a world champion and competitor at this stage of his game.

Still, this one actually transpired into a very good match complete with some wicked spots from Foley himself, who surprises the hell out of just about everybody by digging down deep and pulling out some Hell in the Cell ’98 style action.

But that’s not the biggest surprise, folks. Oh no, that comes at the end, when Samoa Joe reveals that the ‘we’ he referred to earlier really was Joe and Angle. The Nation of Violence resident climbs the ladder, hands Kurt Freakin’ Angle the title, and the match is over!
Your Winner and New TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle

Well, it seems that popular opinion was right, this was a very good show. 

The X-Division opener stole it from the get go, the tag title match really had a ‘big time’ feel to it, and the main event surpassed any and all expectations. Add in Daffney’s insane bump on the tacks and a fair effort in the girls’ title match, and you’ve got a solid card. Sting/Morgan was easily the worst match of the night, followed by Daniels/Douglas, but TNA Slammiversary 2009 was a good show and one that you should certainly check out if you get the chance.


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Thanks for reading.
   

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Retro Pro Wrestling

New reviews of classic WWF/WWE events recalling every moment from Wrestlemania 1 - 30. You'll also find reviews of WCW, ECW, TNA and the occasional indie event, along with a look at old school magazines, merchandise and more.