Monday, 18 September 2017

TV REVIEW: TNA Impact - January 22nd, 2009

Orlando, Florida

The journey between Genesis and Against All Odds got much more interesting on this week's edition of TNA Impact.

(NOTE: This review was originally written when the January 15th, 2009 episode of TNA Impact actually aired. I discovered a number of my old TNA posts in my archives recently and wanted to share them on RPW, so here we are.)

Here's what went down:

4-Way X-Division Championship Match: Alex Shelley (champion) vs. Chris Sabin vs. Sheik Abdul Bashir vs. Sonjay Dutt (with So Cal Val) 

You can always count on the X-Division to give you a good opening contest, and these four don't disappoint here.

As the match starts, Mike Tenay ponders whether Bashir and Dutt will work together to take out the Motor City Machine Guns and, to an extent, they do. But this is more than just a thinly-disguised tag match, with the 'Guns working up the crowd with some smooth chain-wrestling in the early going.

After a good match, Shelley retains his title with a nifty roll-up.
Your Winner and still TNA X-Division Champion: Alex Shelley

In the post-match, referee Shane Sewell is confronted by Sharmell. Apparently, Booker T wants to see Sewell and his naff beard in his locker room.

We then get a shot of three members of the Main Event Mafia making their way to the ring before cutting to the first of a hundred pointless promo videos.

Sewell Answers his Summons

Backstage in Booker T's extravagant dressing room, referee Shane Sewell is asked by the TNA Legends Champion to get behind the Main Event Mafia in tonight's Booker/Steiner vs. Young/Williams bout.

Shane remains non-committal; walking off without telling Booker whether he'll help or not.

A Death in the Family?

The Main Event Mafia come to the ring. Well, at least Kurt Angle, Scott Steiner and TNA World Heavyweight Champion, Sting do.

Once again, Angle gets on the microphone to talk about how good the 'Mafia are and how much they're like a family.

He then quashes Team 3D's hopes that we'll have Angle/Devon and Sting/Ray at Against All Odds. Though apparently, this upsets Sting.

 'The Icon' gives Kurt a telling off and tells him that nobody but Sting gets to decide who he does and doesn't wrestle.

With tension stinking up the air, TNA Management's Jim Cornette comes onto the stage and says that Angle is right; we won't have Angle/Devon and Sting/Ray at Against All Odds.

Oh no, instead we'll have a four-way match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship. At the next pay per view, we'll see Brother Ray vs. Kurt Angle vs. Brother Devon vs. Sting for the belt.

Before leaving, Cornette wonders aloud whether Angle and Sting will be able to co-exist in that match. Hmm, I smell a break up for the Main Event Mafia.

   

Petey Gets Pumped

Backstage, Lauren is with 'Maple Leaf Muscle' Petey Williams.

Petey gives the usual spiel about how he's going to fight Scott Steiner. It's not a bad interview, but what really gets this writer is why, if Petey Williams now hates Scott Steiner, why on earth is he still dressing like him.

Live via Satellite.

Team 3D have been wrestling in Japan, where they've just captured New Japan Pro Wrestling's IWGP tag team titles. Mike Tenay congratulates the former Dudley Boys, before Don 'Oh My God Everything is So Exciting' West lets them know about their match at Against All Odds.

The Duds are fine with it. Either way, they get to put the hurt on the Mafia boys, and that's all that matters.

Sting Tells Off JB

We're back in the Main Event Mafia dressing room, where Sting tells Jeremy Borash that the 'Mafia are fine. It's a great piece of microphone work from Sting, which is only ruined by Scott Steiner giving a god awful promo against Petey Williams.

Knockouts Match: Sojourner Bolt vs. ODB

A pretty decent women's match that finally gets this ODB/Awesome Kong feud properly under way. ODB comes across as hugely popular, and her work here is a shining example as to why she deserves to be at the top of the Knockouts pecking order.

The end comes when TNA Women's Knockout Champion, Awesome Kong, followed by the Kongtourage run in and beat her up.
Your Winner by, presumably, disqualification: ODB

In the post-match, Roxxi and Taylor Wilde run down with weapons and save the day.

The Beautiful People's Revenge

Backstage, Lauren is with the fake 'Sarah Palin', who admits how much fun she had making fools of Angelina Love and Velvet Sky. That's when The Beautiful People absolutely beat the life out of her. And they probably would've done so quite literally had Cute Kip not beat up all the security guards who'd come to 'Palin's' aid, before making the girls stop.

Tag Team Elimination Match: The Main Event Mafia (Big Poppa Pump Scott Steiner and Booker T, with Sharmell) vs. Show Time Eric Young and Maple Leaf Muscle Petey Williams.

This match is so one-sided it's so hard to know what it was supposed to achieve. In the early going, Steiner and Booker cut Eric Young off from his partner and beat him up until he's eliminated. Then, despite a fiery effort from Maple Leaf Muscle, the 'Mafia boys do the same to him and get the win in what can only be described as a squash match.
Your Winners: Scott Steiner and Booker T

After the match, Steiner and Booker get in the face of referee Shane Sewell. As you might have guessed, this causes ol' Naff Beard to do his 'God God, I'm Freaking Out!' routine and try to attack the Mafia. Of course, this backfires and he gets his backside handed to him by the 'Mafia.

I'm Sorry, Abby

After coming to blows with his 'best friend' last week, The Blue Print Matt Morgan comes to the ring to apologise to his partner, The Monster Abyss.

Abby (apparently that's Morgan's pet name for The Monster) accepts the apology and gets all excited, throwing his 'girlfriend' Lauren around with joy. With the two now back on the same page, it's time for them to rumble with Beer Money Inc. in a First Blood Match.

First Blood Match: The Blue Print Matt Morgan & The Monster Abyss vs. Beer Money Inc. (James Storm & Robert Roode with Jacqueline).

Of course, you know that any time you get Roode and Storm in the ring together, they're going to whip a storm no matter who their opponents. This match is no different, and even though I'm not convinced that a First Blood match is really necessary on free tv, it's still a good bout all the same.

The end comes when Matt Morgan reveals his earlier apology to be a rouse, busting Abyss wide open with a nasty chair-shot to give Beer Money the win and the Morgan/Abyss team the final kiss of death.
Your Winners: Beer Money Inc.

Afterwards, Morgan continues to beat the life out of Abyss, security guards, and anyone else who happened to get involved. It's a sick looking assault that leaves blood absolutely pouring out of the monster's head.

Abyss Freaks Out

After the break, we see security try to help Abyss. Instead, The Monster freaks out and destroys everything in his path.

JB Talks to Kurt Angle

This is the usual pre-match fight talk, with Kurt Angle telling Jeremy Borash that he's going to end AJ Styles' career tonight.

Tables Match: Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles

This revamped match comes in place of the scheduled Angle/Styles bout which was postponed last week and, as you've probably guessed, this is a sweet match. Despite the hardcore nature of a tables match, Styles and Angle get off to a pretty good wrestling match in the early going before building into a vicious brawl.

In the end, Styles misses a flying forearm and gets put through the table thanks to an Angle Slam.
Your Winner: Kurt Angle

In the aftermath, the Olympic Gold Medallist destroys the Phenomenal One's ankle before confronting the announce team, grabbing a microphone and says that tonight is the beginning of the end of TNA.

The Main Event Mafia are taking everybody out, one by one, starting from next week. It's a great segment to close the show with.


This week's TNA Impact was actually a really solid show. 
Even if the group do persist in cramming more pointless promo videos than actual wrestling into their show, when they do take it to the ring, they at least deliver the goods. 

As always, Angle and Styles stole the show, but there was good wrestling all-round tonight and things look as if they're going to get a lot more interesting in the war between the Main Event Mafia and TNA's unlucky Front Line, who so far have been booked to look like plebs.



I'm slowly working my way through re-publishing all of my old TNA reviews from 2008 - 2009. For now, you can also read:

PPVS: 
TNA Impact: 
For more TNA, WCW, and WWE/WWF reviews follow Retro Pro Wrestling on Twitter or hit 'like' on the brand new Facebook page.


    

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